PART 1

STEP-DAD PULLS OUT OF FUNDING DAUGHTER'S WEDDING AT LAST MINUTE. BUT HIS REASONING IS HEARTBREAKING.

My stepdaughter will be getting married on Nov. 3. The wedding planning has consumed most of her and her mother's life (I say her mother because we aren't married, though we've lived together for 10 years) for the past six months.

My stepdaughter graduated last December from University. I paid for her to go to college, and though it was a state school, it still ran $40K. She does not have a job and has been living with us for the duration of her college career and since her graduation. I also bought her a car to get back and forth from school when she finished high school.

From time to time her deadbeat father would pop into her life and she would fawn all over him. Although he has not contributed a cent to her education or paid any child support, though that is my girlfriend's fault as c.s. was not part of the settlement, she still loves him and wants him in her life. He stays long enough to break her heart by skipping town and breaking some promise that he made her.

The wedding venue holds 250 people max. I gave them a list of 20 people that I wanted invited, you know, since I was paying for everything. They told me that was no problem and they'd take care of it. So I let these people know they'd be getting an invite and they should save the date. Saturday, I saw one of my friends on this list at the golf course and asked if he was coming. He told me that he wasn't invited. He told me that he got an announcement, but not an invitation. He had it in his back seat (along with probably six months of mail) and showed it to me. Sure enough, it was just an announcement, and my name was nowhere on it. It had her dad's name and her mom's name and not mine.

This led to a pretty big fight with my GF, as I found out that NONE of my list of 20 "made the cut" for the final guest list because "250 people is very tight." I I was pissed, but not a hell of a lot I could do because the important people in my life had already been offended. My GF said "if some people didn't RSVP yes, I might be able to get a couple people in." But that is an ultimate slap in the face in my opinion, so, I was boiling on Saturday.

Yesterday, we had a Sunday dinner with the future in—law's family and us and a surprise guest, the "Real Dad." At this little dinner my stepdaughter announced that her "Real Dad" was going to be able to make it to her wedding and that now he'd be able to give her away. This was greeted with a chorus of "Oh how great" and "How wonderfuls."

I don't think I have ever felt so angry and so disrespected. I was shaking and I took a few seconds to gather my composure, because I honestly wasn't sure if I would cry or start throwing punches or both. Once I was sure I'd be able to speak I got up from my chair and said I'd like to make a toast. I can't remember exactly what I said but the gist of it was this:

"I'd like to make a toast." The sound of spoons against glasses ring in my years. "It has been my great pleasure to be a part of this family for the past ten years." Awe, how sweet. "At this point in my life I feel I owe a debt of gratitude to bride and groom, because they have opened my eyes to something very important." Confident smiles exchanged. "They have showed me that my position in this family is not what I once thought it was." And now a glimmer of confusion and shock begins to spread on the faces in the room. "Though I once thought of myself as the patriarch or godfather of the family, commanding great respect and sought out for help in times of need, it seems instead that I hold the position of an ATM, good for a stream of money, but not much else. As I have been replaced as host, both on the invitations and in the ceremony, I am resigning my financial duties as host to my successor, Real Dad. So cheers to the happy couple and the path they have chosen." I finished my drink. "You all can let yourselves out."

PART 2

The immediate aftermath was tantrum and people sitting there mumbling while not actually saying anything to me, but to each other. After much yelling with the GF about me being selfish, I spent the night in my home office and no one knocked on my door, not once. Today's aftermath is kind of depressing for me. GF brought me Bride's wedding planner to show me how much work I was ruining. I thumbed through it, found a page in the music section for Father / Daughter dances. All of the songs were catered to Real Dad's taste. So I thought they were just being disrespectful, but now I'm feeling like they never really gave a crap at all, especially since the menu included two ingredients I'm allergic to, that actually made me laugh. Either way, I'm glad to be done, returned the planner and asked her when she and bride could move out. Also, I never promised to pay for the wedding. I offered them the use of my home when they were sure it was going to be small, but other than that, all I've heard is how it's the Bride's family that should pay, so, let it be the bride's family then, aka, not me.

. Girlfriend and Bride are now moved out. They are moving in with the groom. It was very hard not to be petty with some of the "belongings" they took with them, but it's done and I switched out the locks and now it's time for a brew. I can't believe how popular this story got, but I feel good to be given support by so many. If I find out what happens with the wedding, I will let you know, but I can't guarantee that I will put in the effort to find out. From what I've heard they are trying to "scale things back" and get his parents to help out. GF burned bridges when I found out she tried to write herself a check on our joint account the day after the unpleasantness. By then I had already moved money, so I guess I'm a bigger ass than her, but I could feel it coming. That's all. Thanks.

the two posters above me talks too much .....do not quote me shey na man dey nag lik dis check if he has balls ..two to be precise

Well poo happens...


The step dad deserved a lot of honour but it was never given.

yomi007k:
Well poo happens...


The step dad deserved a lot of honour but it was never given.

Am glad he was smart enough to get out of their trap.

sexybaby22:


Am glad he was smart enough to get out of their trap.

I dey tel u ooo..

A really smart one from the step dad.
The real dad can't just come and reap where he did not sow..
He should sow since he wants to reap..

One of the reasons I don't fancy single moms.. It's either the child(ren) have no regard for you no matter the effort(s) you put into their lives or you constantly have to deal with the biological dad or his people.

After spending over 40grand (about N8m) seeing her through college, getting her a car and about to spend another $40k for her wedding, he couldn't invite 20 of his own friends. Who on this earth really have or know 250 persons there'll want to attend their wedding?

To say mother and daughter still didn't see anything wrong. SMH. Make the real papa foot the wedding bills na..

That Dude is the real MVP! Learn your place in people's life and act accordingly! Many people are beautiful wrapped box of sh.it! You have to stick out for yourself!

seun lalasticlala you will see good topics like this you guys will not put on frontpage.

Rex123:
That Dude is the real MVP!
Learn your place in people's life and act accordingly!
Many people are beautiful wrapped box of sh.it!
You have to stick out for yourself!

Hehehe

MVP? Really? Even though he is now finally able to stick it to his GF and her daughter he is, what, $40K? $80K poorer for playing the role of an ATM all these years.

ApexTitan:


Hehehe

MVP? Really? Even though he is now finally able to stick it to his GF and her daughter he is, what, $40K? $80K poorer for playing the role of an ATM all these years.

And what exactly is your point?

yomi007k:
Well poo happens...


The step dad deserved a lot of honour but it was never given.

you're right

He finally learnt to leave the table when love was no longer being served

Smart man

sexybaby22:


And what ecactly is your point?

He should not have gotten himself into that situation in the first place.

ApexTitan:


He should not have gotten himself into that situation in the first place.

Well you cant blame him. thats what LOVE does. he probably loved the mother and hoped with time they will come around and get to appreciate him so he does everything to make them happy but there comes a point when you just realise your partner just doesnt give a fvck about you and you need to give yourself some dignity and self respect and love yourself enought to fly out of such a parasitic union. He just got to that point.

This here was the best part for me!This man deserves an Oscar for this genius speech.


[b]

I'd like to make a toast." The sound of spoons against glasses ring in my years. "It has been my great pleasure to be a part of this family for the past ten years." Awe, how sweet. "At this point in my life I feel I owe a debt of gratitude to bride and groom, because they have opened my eyes to something very important." Confident smiles exchanged. "They have showed me that my position in this family is not what I once thought it was." And now a glimmer of confusion and shock begins to spread on the faces in the room. "Though I once thought of myself as the patriarch or godfather of the family, commanding great respect and sought out for help in times of need, it seems instead that I hold the position of an ATM, good for a stream of money, but not much else. As I have been replaced as host, both on the invitations and in the ceremony, I am resigning my financial duties as host to my successor, Real Dad. So cheers to the happy couple and the path they have chosen." I finished my drink. "You all can let yourselves out.

[/b]

Lobatan!

edwife:
This here was the best part for me!This man deserves an Oscar for this genius speech.


[b][/b]

Lobatan!

gbam.the man has done excellently well

SAMBARRY:
gbam.the man has done excellently well

Sorry step dad .. you should have had your ex arrested for attempted fraud .

It is a pity you spent 10yrs before realizing that you were not welcome to their cozy family.

Don't look at you have spent So far.... it was an investment in. love.

If I were the groom to be, I would be having doubts about marrying the daughter: she is an ungrateful person and doubt the marriage would last as the husband might just be the next ATM.

@ Single mother, carry go; your recompense is just in front.

edwife:

the elders say respect is reciprocal.you turn the guyman to second fiddle yet you want him to be dishing out money for wedding. It serves all the parties involved right

SAMBARRY:
the elders say respect is reciprocal.you turn the guyman to second fiddle yet you want him to be dishing out money for wedding. It serves all the parties involved right

You know who i pity most? The groom.

I bet he has no idea what's in store for him.

edwife:


You know who i pity most? The groom.

I bet he has no idea what's in store for him.

he will be awakened by a rude shock when he realizes the can of worms being hidden from him.


Poor boy

Very wise stepfather

Rex123:
That Dude is the real MVP!
Learn your place in people's life and act accordingly!
Many people are beautiful wrapped box of sh.it!
You have to stick out for yourself!

nicely said bro

The daughter could have at least, had both fathers walk her down the aisle.
Total disregard of the man who helped bring you up.

sexybaby22:


And what exactly is your point?

That the step dad woke up too late. How does he account for all the money he's spent so far on both mother and daughter? Will he get a refund for the college tuition or car he bought?

Timbuktou:


That the step dad woke up too late. How does he account for all the money he's spent so far on both mother and daughter? Will he get a refund for the college tuition or car he bought?

i know it seems like he wasted 10 years of his life caring for them but he was in love.

Beautiful and thought-provoking. Don't be an ingrate. Know that, the fact that people are nice doesn't mean they are fools, they are often one step ahead; they only prefer not to pull the plug when you least expect it.

The Step-father's speech tho... Priceless!!!

@Sexybaby22 , ur dp got me laughing.

BALLOSKI:
@Sexybaby22 , ur dp got me laughing.

its kinda true naw.

sexybaby22:


its kinda true naw.

it's true. You can see why we're hustling to give them money and keep them happy.