ThiefOfHearts:

They never slept together. You depraved dorks have severe issues.

Doffypops:

How would u know this, dearest thief of hearts?

ThiefOfHearts:

ive noticed most of the people replying with such comments are newbies and dont know the story/history of top's lats relationship. Those who of us who know the history know that this isnt about "ex sex"

bigboyslim:

Nope its not, its about "sexy ex"

Outstrip:


Okay I need to stop laughing at you. I can almost sense your excitement. LOL. Just don't meet him in his hotel though.

bigboyslim:

I agree with Outstrip. Topup is excited about this meeting. Her head tells her she shouldn't be, but she just can't help it. I think she still has feelings for the guy but she's wise enough to handle the situation in a mature way. Topup I am convinced that you can handle the situation if you decide to meet up with Mr ex.

ThiefOfHearts:

They never slept together. You depraved dorks have severe issues.

Feelitx:

Outstrip can sense your excitement,I can touch it. I see you trembling already and your statements gave you up.

bigboyslim:

Nope its not, its about "sexy ex"

dabriggs:

By fretting you are already showing that you do not trust yourself on how you would react if he tries to make advances at you. Well ask your self what you'll do if he wants to start the fire again. Are you sure you wont give in. And if he kisses and runs are you sure you wont regret it again.

In my opinion. Let him say whatever he has to say to you on phone. . Its over, its over. Why does he want to see you. If you run into him its a different matter. But fretting over an ex means you still have feelings for him.

Guys are funny . When we miss a particular girls "own thing" we look for a way to get back, eat and run. I know other guys would crucify me, but its the truth.

Break the hedge the serpent will bite. No talk say I no tell you.

dabriggs:

There is no need. A great talker often has much to hide.

I still stand my grounds and say if its over , its over. If you have feelings for him then see him. You dont need our opinions in that case because even if we tell you not to , you will still do anyway.

Must you see him?Thats my question?Must you see him because he wants you to?
If he is making another trip to see you ask him why?Why dos he want to see you?To know if you grew fatter or slimer or what? See the earlier you gain control of this stuff the better you can face him.
All im saying is ask your self. Choose your decisions and choose wisely. Wish I could chat with you on YIM.

For me the facts are clear. Even a blind man can see it.

dabriggs:

There is no need. A great talker often has much to hide.

I still stand my grounds and say if its over , its over. If you have feelings for him then see him. You dont need our opinions in that case because even if we tell you not to , you will still do anyway.

Must you see him?Thats my question?Must you see him because he wants you to?
If he is making another trip to see you ask him why?Why dos he want to see you?To know if you grew fatter or slimer or what? See the earlier you gain control of this stuff the better you can face him.
All im saying is ask your self. Choose your decisions and choose wisely. Wish I could chat with you on YIM.

For me the facts are clear. Even a blind man can see it.

springss:

DaBriggs, I think you captured my sentiments perfectly!

Topup, I suspect that you still have affectionate feelings for this guy despite the fact that your relationship ended unpleasantly. Seeing an ex face-to-face is always a very risky venture. The good memories may flood back and you may be swept away momentarily in the swirl of emotion. Oftentimes people do what they swore not to do, especially if both parties still fancy each other.

Since you don't feel indifference towards this guy, you are probably still in love but in denial or you hate him. If the situation were the later, we would most likely not be having this discussion.

Truth be told my dear, no amount of advice from this forum would change the outcome of your meeting. You are a very smart person and I’m sure you have weighed the possibilities and consequences. You alone know this guy and he knows your weaknesses. If you let him, he will manipulate you. At the end of your meeting, one or two of three things may happen 1) you may put closure to any chance of coming together 2) you may open yourself up to getting a reconciliation 3) you would hurt so much afterwards especially if he takes advantage of you or you cross a boundary you set for yourself (physical or emotional).

The mindset that things are boring (school, work, etc) is precisely what will weaken you when you both meet. So be careful not to cross your boundaries. Someone advised that you don’t visit his hotel room… I would advise that you set your boundaries and avoid any situation or place that would facilitate crossing the boundaries. Remember that you won’t really know how you’ll react until it’s over.

Bottom line is that everything depends on what you want going forward. If you don’t want to have anything to do with this guy relationship-wise, then don’t see him. You can always chat on the phone. If you want at least one more peek, them by all means see him, but remember to report back to this forum.

Thanks for taking the time to write the reply, but right now I just feel worn out. I've been defending myself but still I'm told that I am in denial and also I'm apparently in love with him. All of this is confusing me, I guess maybe I'm not over him, if I still think it's exciting to see him - that's what you guys keep saying to me. I definitely don't want to reconcile. Is it so wrong to want to kill two birds with one stone; 1 - be able to ask any lingering questions (and I can't remember any) 2 - to be able to re-state what he has lost.

I came on Nairaland last year, and I was told that it was my fault for ignoring his messages back then when messages mattered, and so since then, I've tried not to do anything that could aggravate the situation. I wasn't even thinking about him, until he text me asking if he could meet.

Lastly, I agree, most things can be said over the phone.

topup:

Thanks for taking the time to write the reply, but right now I just feel worn out. I've been defending myself but still I'm told that I am in denial and also I'm apparently in love with him. All of this is confusing me, I guess maybe I'm not over him, if I still think it's exciting to see him - that's what you guys keep saying to me. I definitely don't want to reconcile. Is it so wrong to want to kill two birds with one stone; 1 - be able to ask any lingering questions (and I can't remember any) 2 - to be able to re-state what he has lost.

I came on Nairaland last year, and I was told that it was my fault for ignoring his messages back then when messages mattered, and so since then, I've tried not to do anything that could aggravate the situation. I wasn't even thinking about him, until he text me asking if he could meet.

Lastly, I agree, most things can be said over the phone.

Ejadamen:

Why? This seems to be a big issue for you and i do not see why it should be. Don't let what you've read here wear you down after all it is your life. Like so many people have said here, you are smart. Use that smart brain of yours to make a decision. Even if it ends up being a mistake, that's life, learn and move on. If the decision ends up working out, hurrah. My dear life is just too short and important to fuss about an ex, unless you really want to get back with him.
All the best.

topup:

*Chuckles*. . it's not a big issue for me. I think I've already been warned about the consequences of discussing my personal life on Nairaland. I think this will probably be the last time I do.