papawemba:
I want to thank everybody for their happy birthday wishes to me yesterday.

My first and foremost gratitude goes to the Almighty Jehovah Chukwu Abiama, Obi N’Igwe Ogodo Ya N’Akpu Na Ala, Dike Ana Akpa Ogwu N’Anya, Odogwu Akata, Oji Caterpillar Eme Toothpick, Chukwu Okike Chukwu Muo Nso for making it possible for me to be alive to witness another birthday.

Next, I want to thank Mark Zuckerberg and his entire Facebook team for being the first people to wish me happy birthday even though they don’t know me in person. I felt they appreciated the fact that I check my Facebook updates more than I check my heartbeat. They made it possible for me to receive happier birthday messages from people I don’t know than the people I know in real life including my relatives (they all forgot except my mum who thought it was on Saturday). But if it was money they wanted to borrow, they would remember what I said, how I said it, where I said it and when I said it.

Thanks to some of my female fans, colleagues and friends for the boxers and singlet: It is obvious I won’t be buying any of those in the next 6 months. Abundance is an understatement. On the judgement day, God will ask some of you how I gave you Longine wristwatch and shoes on your birthday and you had the mind to give me singlet and boxers on my own birthday. Issorite

I also want to thank MTN, Etisalat and somehow Glo (I have not used that network since my Nokia Lumia had a screen problem) for providing internet access to social media where strangers show you mad love on your birthday but your neighbours despise you for playing music loud for once because it is your birthday. Big thank you to Mr Ndukwe, my neighbour downstairs, he removed my power fuse two times and switched off my generator because his church members from Chosen came for house fellowship and my friends were dancing Makossa. Later, I saw his dog eating chicken bones and rice from my thrash bin and I wish I had AK-47.

Not forgetting my banks including Diamond bank( I am not sure I still have up to 1000 naira as balance in that account after my NYSC but they remembered me, Osheee), they all sent me the same message: ‘Dear Mr Ikemefuna…. Blah blah blah’. Still wondering how my pension fund administrator sent me a birthday wish but has never sent me my contribution account balance. My HR manager and them better have a good explanation because ICPC can even fine a ghost for any infractions the way their eyes dey red for now.

More thanks to Mudi, my friend, for smuggling 5 bottles of MacDowell into Rumours Night Club and transferred all of them into a VSOP bottle because they sold 1 bottle of Hennessy for $125 inside the club. We drank our cheap brandy and danced more than those that drank Moet and Dom Pérignon. Interestingly, we all danced to the same music and peed into the same WC no matter the price of what we drank. Hehehe…Life is a female dog.

Thanks to Silverbird Cinema for giving me a plastic chair to sit because the theatre was filled to max. No apology. No discount. We must all watch James Bond’s Spectre even though it means standing or sitting on a wooden chair. Thanks to the area boys that stood by me and assisted when my car got stuck in a ditch in Ikeja on Saturday night. I thought 500 naira was enough for their service till they threatened to smash my windscreen unless I gave them 4000 naira. In Lagos, if someone offers to help you, please ask them at what cost.

It was fun. It was dramatic. It was crazy.
Thank you all. Gracias!!!

OnankpaBa:
Abubakar Audu buried. Now laid in grave as Imams offer prayers. Sands poured into grave amidst tears and sorrow.

Abubakar Audu not risen.

details soon



http://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/headlines/193768-abubakar-audus-burial-live-updates.html

otijah:
APC has successfully carried out their plans, now let the drama begin.
This time PDP will teach them how politrics is been played

OnankpaBa:
Abubakar Audu buried. Now laid in grave as Imams offer prayers. Sands poured into grave amidst tears and sorrow.

Abubakar Audu not risen.

details soon



http://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/headlines/193768-abubakar-audus-burial-live-updates.html

vickoozy:
My question is, what is he still looking for there in kogi state government house, after ruling as a governor for two consecutive times, na him papa draw the map of kogi state? All this old men wey dey marry all this small small girls.....holy ghost fire! ...... who go dey service that fresh hollow now?
End time party (APC)
End time candidate (audu)
End time election result
End time vomiting
End time death
End time rumour of resurrection from death
To those that will wail.....End time wailers

Quote me and receive an end time thunder strike.......



In other news am still in love with aminat508

boyo123:
and some mumu people said he as woken up.mtcheew

handie:
Life! We all die...... What matters most is doing the right things while alive. Go to kogi state and talk about Abubakar Audu. You'll hear that he established Kogi state university Anyigba, kogi state Polytechnic, established the Obajana cement factory now known as Dangote cement factory, built the Kogi state government house, Confluence beach hotel, specialist hospital Lokoja and many more. That's Legacy..... He left a good legacy tho tainted by allegations of corruption, Kogites regard him as their best Governor ever! What'll be ur own legacy when u exit this earth? Are u gon be remembered for ur good works or ur bad works. As u type RIP Audu Abubakar, take a moment to reflect on d legacies you'll leave behind

GMan650:
Sorry bro, Audu be causing confusion even in his death

Tunami:
too much confusion as a result of so much frustration