Sam L Clemens wrote of a young man who says to his father, "Father I don`t understand women," to which the father replies "son your not supposed to, women understand women and they hate each other,"


Even Google doesn't have an answer, How a Woman's mind works.


Success with women is like quantum mechanics. There are only probabilities, no certainty.


Like the lady physcologist said men we can read like a book women we have not got a clue.

Rohan of destiny on Zee world extraordinary everyday :PRohan of destiny on Zee world extraordinary everyday

enstack:


Seriously? I am selfish and Wicked? Everywhere i go, he wants to be there! He wanted to accompany me to a women convention(Women Only)! Amongst almost 200 Women very few men were there because its a thing for women not for couples. He threatened to Hang Himself.

So I am selfish because I dont want my husband turning me to his boss and he is my P.A? Sometimes he would hold my purse or handbag and sometimes people would begin to ask "Is he your husband or your driver?"

Are you looking for public approval or what?...Maybe when you meet the bossy type like me, you will know why buhari is a scam

When you spend too much on a lady you'll be termed a MAGA,if you don't spend you'll be termed STINGY, when you love her so much you'll be termed a WUSS but when you guard your heart jealously you'll be called HEARTLESS. Tufiakwa!!!! Women shaa...

Sorry to ask but did U wed him in any river?as in,U b mammywater?wetin U give dah guy.Im brain don go o

Find him a trainer who specialise in training Men that beats their wives once he's through..then be prepared to be turned to a punchbag to spice up your marriage...you seemed to be the BDSM type

U better Love Ur husband like that.

women,most of them doesnt knows what they want,if you do them lovey lovey,na wahala,if you do them mumu mumu,na wahala,if you do dem gra gra na wahala.

Hello madam, l must have to comment because of your complaints........yeah, you must know that you are very guilty of that situation and should accept the s**x slave you're being made to , apportioning blame to the power of magic is the worst you can ever do and for your own good release him immediately and let him seek for his God made partner. ......the aftermath is always dangerous because dat's black magic and you should know that the price is yet to be paid. Be careful what you seek cos it may eventually come true.......love & marriage is not do / die affair.sorry for exposing your secret but the earlier the better you save own soul.

I was something like that in 2009.... not as bad as OP's husband but I had clingy tendencies, now things have changed completely.

hustla:



Bro True
But women no know wetin them want
One day the guy eye go clear and e go tear eye, now she go come back nairaland come dey cry

Whynotthetruth:


Are you looking for public approval or what?...Maybe when you meet the bossy type like me, you will know why buhari is a scam

j

The ungrateful woman is concerned about public approval please divorce him and marry an abusive man who doesn't care about you so you can please the society more

Ma, pls don't a make drastic mistake u all regret later by divorcing him.
Men who are ready to do anything for their wife's are rear and you should count urself lucky,.. if other women are gossiping abeg leave dem people get jealous for what dey don't have..
pls change your orientation towards him and keep ur husband.
Remember, if u leave him somebody somewhere is ready to get him. And am sure u don't want to make a decision u will regret for a life time

Op

Your husband may have iisues being ''your conceived " idea of a perfect man....its unfortunate the media has brain washed you

But he's not mentally ill, I believe you are, what religion do you prcatice? Am sure ull say your a christian...

Hyprocrite..christianity is about love, putting the other person needs before yours and it's a called love and that's extacly what your husband is subcionciously doing. Unfortunately your using him as doormat and you don't derserve such sincere and good attention.

U may not know yet, but you can kill...its in you.

U are a wicked person...u puprosely recklessly spent his money....I emphasis purposly.

Ur reading and he starts romancing u and that's a problem? U must be a bush girl, yes ur from a village...infact even villagers done step up....what will u prefer? He orders u to the bed, command ur leg open and pours into u and he's out the door?

Like some one pointed out, the man mybe weak, but u have the means to correct him and put him on track..but you choose to threaten him...and take full advantage of him, I pity you.

Uve made up ur mind on divorce, so why come to nairaland? Divorce him and see...

Nb; ill be shocked if ur trip to abuja wasn't to see your boyfriend.

Also tell your husband to come to nairaland( he's ur PA right?) and read these comments, perharps his eyes will open, and he will see that your not worth his care and your request will be granted,by turning you to a punching bag.

optimusprime2:

I carefully read your whole writeup, hence my whole quote... Firstly (Pardon me for being Blunt) I think you are quite a Naive, selfish and shallow woman who is insensitive to a man as delicate natured as your husband- for a start, I believe you are a christian, go and read the book of Proverbs chapter 31 vs 10-31 it should give you insight of the role of a good wife.
Many women pray for the kind of man you have as a husband, and here you are complaining about what you have... A wife is a friend, a partner, a buddie et al, apparently you have'nt carved out that Niche for your husband, because you have already viewed and tagged him as a weakling.
Secondly You lack the caring instinct of a mother; if you did, you would have known how to adjust your husband to fit your specs, with Love. Cant you see he is as a child to you? I wonder how you would care for kids with special needs with an attitude of insensitivity like this...
Thirdly, you are inconsiderate; Because you know that's how he is and yet you choose to exploit his shortcomings/weaknesses, then complain in the end- You should be ashamed of yourself.
Fourthly, You are the solitary lady- basically you love doing your thingys alone. It's unfortunate you married a man who values company and companionship, now in marriage, the definition of you is "Selfish" because all you lookout for is "You" ... sorry girl thats the picture I see.
Fifth, Your perspective of marriage is so shallow... And I have a deep pity for you because you still think marriage is post courtship, an indirect reflection of your psychological immaturity (Geez I'm really sorry for the bluntness but I just cant help it)
Sixth, You are just not romantic period.... (A wife beater would have suited you just fine)
If you think people will come and sympathize with you here on Nairaland for your woes and complaints on this matter, you are wrong, very wrong .... Go and analyse your shortcomings woman and fix up your marriage.
Overall I feel bad for your husband- it's really not his fault. He married a girl not a woman. (Sorry girl just being blunt)

God bless you, you have sense, the op is senseless, what kinda husband do you need again in this world, shes meant to reciprocate what the husband is doing, yet shes complaining, some people are saying the husband has low self esteem and all that, i dont blame them, the husband has a very pure heart, which is rare

commitcrime:
Hmmmmm


Since u want sincere mature advice. I ll oblige u.

You re a fool!

Your husband loves u so much that he dotes on u. All men would normally do that but men like me dated bitches so we transformed and became assholes.

If ur husband worships u. It is normal

It is left for u to take the obeisances in humility and reciprocate.

If u turn him into an asshole. Babe I promise u. You ve lost him forever.

P.S
I realise it is easy being an asshole than a gentleman

#TEAMASSHOLE

Her husband's behaviour is not the opposite of asshole. Far from it.

Woman, I put it to you that between a man who cherishes you & the one who box you around which one do you prefer ? If you can not appreciate the pet God has given you as a husband,he will allow you to have a taste of a tiger ..May be you will be able to appreciate God better..there are women out there who desire much attention from their hobby but got non in return..and they are crying silently everyday .Manage what you have and learn to open up to him on how you want to be treated as a wife.

This OP is really annoying, shes a spoilt brat, is this even meant to be an issue, after bad guys av dealt with you, you found a good one, the thread is even annoying, nonsense

Op, I don't see any problem with your husband. Just that he's inexperienced. But that shouldn't be a bad thing.

You mentioned yourself being his first girlfriend. Most guys were like him at the beginning until they got burnt by the bit.ches in their past relationships. Like someone said earlier, bit.ches in our past transformed us into the assholes we are today. Your husband has never been burnt, so he never transformed.

You just have to speak with him about this. Make him know that apart from a loving man, you also need a strong man. That you need a loving husband, not a submissive wife. You OP, are the wife, not him. As someone said earlier, leave some decision pending until he makes them. He's the man, he should step into those shoes. Speak to him about these.

It's also possible he's a religious man and he's practising the advices from your pre-marriage counselling and marriage books, without thinking through them. It's just unfortunate that during these sessions, the same advice given to a brutal asshole is also given to a tender lover. You can imagine what that'll turn him into...romantic zombie.

But OP, you mentioned that you've had past relationships and so you were very careful about him at first. Why were you careful? Could it be you've dated assholes? Could it be you've been treated badly long enough that being treated like a queen now seems awkward? Like how awkward it feels suddenly having constant power supply after months of blackout. Could the problem actually be you? Just asking.

enstack:
I had to create a new account just to post this as it's quite sensitive. It's quite lengthy too but I'll be brief. I need mature and friendly advice from people here.

When I first met my husband, it was in a library. We talked briefly and we became close. I have had past relationships in my life so I was careful as possible. I realised that he had no past relationship. He was a typical virgin and was new and I was his first girlfriend. So I felt comfortable with him. He was so kind and loving so I agreed to marry him.

Now it has gotten worse. Everytime he does anything I want without asking questions. At first I enjoyed it but now I'm starting to worry about him as it's getting out of hand. He does not display any act of manliness in the house. He behaves like my puppet or my foot stool. The other day he was watching the soccer game and I just jokingly mentioned how boring it was and I would prefer the faith channel. He changed the channel to the faith channel just like that. Even at work he would be calling me and texting me I am even scared he would loose his job if his employer finds out.

I have no time for myself.. he is always around. Sometimes if I say no to his advances for sex he would act like I am a wicked woman who has cheated him or rubbed him of his right. He would give me the silent treatment for weeks until I give in. On Sunday he insisted on going with me to the salon and it's now embarrassing as every Sunday my mates in the salon would gossip about how my husband is the only man amongst women making their hairs because his wife is there. I try to talk to him but he would feel so sad like I have taken smething away. I don't understand.

If I'm studying at night, he would suddenly begin to romance me and strip me of my clothing without saying anything first when he can see I'm studying. If I rebuke him, he would be very sad. Every time he must have one intimate relation with me everyday and life does not work that way. I don't know if it's immaturity or he is sick mentally. The day I returned home 11pm due to huge traffic jam, I was expecting him to be furious like any other man.. he was with all smiles even offered me water and collected my bag and books. Christ.

I need sincere help. I told his family that I'll file a divorce if this continues as I cannot live like this. It's no longer love but idolatry. I thought it's wives that are submissive.. he is the one submissive. Anything I ask... he grants even silly things. Things that a real man would query before granting.

I am sure that if I ask him to bathe in acid he would do it. I'm sick and tired of this marriage. Just a year. The last quater he gave me his ATM to spend when I went for training in Abuja. When I was spending excessively he was quiet about it until I returned and found it he was broke that i wrecked him. I was wondering what happened to him. Why didn't he talk?

Please Nairalanders what is happening? I love him still and divorce would be my last resort. I need your advice and help on how to fix this because I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you all.

From the above complains, I discovered that in married, that women always like to lead the role no matter how small they are. I think this story is not complete yet, cuz u never told us Wat action u took that made this made to be subject to u, by the way I observe that u do control n nags a lot either consciously or unconsciously. I also observe that u r the lazy type, so since the man don't want trouble he takes over all the things u wouldn't hv done as d woman of the house.
I also discover that u don't show him that u love him, so there is a love swing to the man's side alone.
pls do not push him, cuz if he changes the way u want he will go wild.
My advice to u now is, u should put ur self in the position of a wife not d man.
Make him to feel as the man.
Make him as ur best friend.
Don't make feel like a puppet.
Be responsible.
Package him up, so that u can boost of him, I do go out with my wife n ppl gets jealous.
Is not time for u to see the wrong side, but to correct the wrong before others will see it.
Do not report him to your friends, cuz they are looking for such opportunity.
some time in life we get Wat we don't deserve for that we don't cherish it.
Be warn, before he slip out of your hand, cuz if u don't appreciate some one out will do.

op take d first comment and d last comment on front page, merg them take out d insults and there lie d solutions to ur problem period.

EM U EM U!

And to all the women that withhold sex just to punish their husbands, Fvock u too!!

Sorry ma'am i ve gat no advice sincerely buh this ur story makes realise that WOMEN ARE CONFUSED FELLOW.He gave u his ATM card,u spent d money anyhow yet he didn't complain and u're giving that as one of d reasons to divirce him?. But whats suprising there is that,another woman will come crying to nairaland for advice on how to divorce her husband because he's so stingy.............with diz stories on nalraland nowadays to marry dey fear me i tell u.

Black Woman Divorces Black, Blind Man Because "He's Too Nice" - YouTube

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=m8vMTur_0ac

commitcrime:
Hmmmmm


Since u want sincere mature advice. I ll oblige u.

You re a fool!

Your husband loves u so much that he dotes on u. All men would normally do that but men like me dated bitches so we transformed and became assholes.

If ur husband worships u. It is normal

It is left for u to take the obeisances in humility and reciprocate.

If u turn him into an asshole. Babe I promise u. You ve lost him forever.

P.S
I realise it is easy being an asshole than a gentleman

#TEAMASSHOLE

THANK YOU SIR. I WOULDN'T COMMENT ORDINARILY, BUT AFTER READING YOUR REPLY I WAS FORCED TO ADD MY VOICE.
I WAS LIKE THAT WOMAN'S HUSBAND HAVING A LOVELY WOMAN THEN, I LOVED HER WITH MY LIFE, AT SOME POINT SHE TOOK A WALK AFTER 5 YEARS. BEFORE THEN... I WAS A VIRGIN, WELL STUDIED, BUT SHE THOUGHT I CANT LIVE WITHOUT HER, THE DAY SHE LEFT I DIDN'T LOOK HER WAY, TILL NOW, SHE'S ASKING ME BACK AFTER 4 YEARS.
I AM HARDENED, I DON'T CARE BECAUSE SHE'S A BITCH LIKE THE OP.
WHEN THE HUSBAND TURNS AGAINST HER, HE WILL NEVER COME BACK AND SHE WILL LIVE IN REGRET.

Return his love in a similar fashion, infact outdo him then everything will be normal. if only we could love God the way He loves us

WHY IS IT THAT MAJORITY OF WOMEN LIKE MDN THAT ROUGH HANDLE THEM? THE MAN OK N QUESTION APPEAR TO BE A LIBRA AND IF YOU UNLISH THE OTHER SIDE OF HIM, YOU WILL LEAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO TELL STORY OF A TRUE LOVE LOST. HE DISTURB YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE HIS WIFE AND HE LOVES YOU AND DOESN'T WANT TO CHEAT ON YOU. BETTER APPRECIATE YOUR HOME BEFORE YOU LOST IT.

Comments aplenty but lemme chip in mine. OP i think u have to tell his friends, they will talk that bad attitude outta his head.
Women are supposed to be submissive to their husbands not vice versa.
Seriously he's got to MAN up! Wetin. End time husband, abi??

enstack:
I had to create a new account just to post this as it's quite sensitive. It's quite lengthy too but I'll be brief. I need mature and friendly advice from people here.

When I first met my husband, it was in a library. We talked briefly and we became close. I have had past relationships in my life so I was careful as possible. I realised that he had no past relationship. He was a typical virgin and was new and I was his first girlfriend. So I felt comfortable with him. He was so kind and loving so I agreed to marry him.

Now it has gotten worse. Everytime he does anything I want without asking questions. At first I enjoyed it but now I'm starting to worry about him as it's getting out of hand. He does not display any act of manliness in the house. He behaves like my puppet or my foot stool. The other day he was watching the soccer game and I just jokingly mentioned how boring it was and I would prefer the faith channel. He changed the channel to the faith channel just like that. Even at work he would be calling me and texting me I am even scared he would loose his job if his employer finds out.

I have no time for myself.. he is always around. Sometimes if I say no to his advances for sex he would act like I am a wicked woman who has cheated him or rubbed him of his right. He would give me the silent treatment for weeks until I give in. On Sunday he insisted on going with me to the salon and it's now embarrassing as every Sunday my mates in the salon would gossip about how my husband is the only man amongst women making their hairs because his wife is there. I try to talk to him but he would feel so sad like I have taken smething away. I don't understand.

If I'm studying at night, he would suddenly begin to romance me and strip me of my clothing without saying anything first when he can see I'm studying. If I rebuke him, he would be very sad. Every time he must have one intimate relation with me everyday and life does not work that way. I don't know if it's immaturity or he is sick mentally. The day I returned home 11pm due to huge traffic jam, I was expecting him to be furious like any other man.. he was with all smiles even offered me water and collected my bag and books. Christ.

I need sincere help. I told his family that I'll file a divorce if this continues as I cannot live like this. It's no longer love but idolatry. I thought it's wives that are submissive.. he is the one submissive. Anything I ask... he grants even silly things. Things that a real man would query before granting.

I am sure that if I ask him to bathe in acid he would do it. I'm sick and tired of this marriage. Just a year. The last quater he gave me his ATM to spend when I went for training in Abuja. When I was spending excessively he was quiet about it until I returned and found it he was broke that i wrecked him. I was wondering what happened to him. Why didn't he talk?

Please Nairalanders what is happening? I love him still and divorce would be my last resort. I need your advice and help on how to fix this because I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you all.

My dear sister nothing is wrong with your husband,he is the kind of man every lady wants as a husband .Never discuss your husband with family members,friends etc.everything should remain between you two.All i can see is your husband loves you more than you love him.
On the issue of denying him sex ,it is sin to deny EXCEPT you are sick.When i got married ,my wife was studying for her masters programme anytime i request for sex she rarely denied me.Anything she denied me,she will makeup the next day.There is no crime if you seduce your husband the next day wearing sexy outfit to make up for the lost day.Sex is to men as breastfeeding is to babies you need to understand that.
Forgot to mention ,when he ask for sex and you are not in the mood,try to romance him.Men are very pained when turned down while he is already hard down there,the romance will lighten his burden and he wont feel rejection.

Regarding the issue of money,i am surprised you spend your husband money till he got broke,that is not a xtracter of a good wife.I must tell you my wife has control over my bank accounts,atms but she never spends beyond my limit or make me broke,we always plan together as a family.
Other things you listed about your husband are irrelevant.once you start having kids and more demand on his job his attention on you will reduce a bit and then you will notice the difference.
once again there is nothing wrong with your husband he is best man money cannot buy,take it or leave it.

Ppearl:

....lol...can you be my personal asshole?

Am available. Terms and Conditions apply

"You never miss the water until the well runs dry"..... go ahead...share this your marriage ending problem with your friends... I guarantee you they would support you 100 %.... call him a weak man...not husband material...you made a big mistake by marrying him....and strongly advise you to divorce him. I would also guarantee you that before you can say free at last.... one of your very friends would be walking down the aisle with him. How can you smooth these little bumps in the road if you don't discuss it with him?

"Shout-out to all em BOSS bitches WIFEing NI66AS"..............................in Drake's voice

olamisowon1:
I understand u so well. If I were in your shoe I would feel the same way. I want a caring and understanding man for a husband but I won't appreciate one that will end up choking me- I need my space too. I broke up with a guy for this reason too. I ve a strong personality so I don't need ode for a husband.

I really don't know what you can do cos thats who he is. Just take him as he is. Best of luck.

at this age, you are already breaking up n hooking up with different men mtchew