In the beginning was God.

And he got bored because the world was void. God knew not how he came. He had always existed. He is, was and is.

He couldn't die, so he couldn't be said to be alive. He was. He just was.

At some point, a thought came into his head. Now one can't say where this thought came from. Or if this thought gave him a sense of purpose. But it was a good thought.

So he spoke. And there was light. And with that light, he saw lots of darkness. And space, lots of space. The kind of space that will put a smile on an Ikwerre man's face.

So off to work he set. A planet here and a planet there. The world was his creative playground. All he had to do was speak and it became. The original talk and do.

Sonoflucifer your end is near

So he spoke and continents came to being, sprawling with wildlife, rivers, the landscape was awesome. He had chosen the 3rd planet from the sun, apparently the billions of others were. just a showcase for his infinite design capabilities.

And he looked upon everything he had made and marvelled at his brilliance. Amazing. Mosquitoes and flies, rats and bats all living in peaceful harmony. It was good indeed.

But then, the boredom set in again. Millions of species yet none could acknowledge his brilliance. None could see and appreciate his work like he did.

And so he made his first mistake.


Man.

zzzzy:
Sonoflucifer your end is near

I know. Yours too.

sonOfLucifer:

I know. Yours too.

are you an atheist or a satanist?

zzzzy:
are you an atheist or a satanist?

Atheist in love with Satan.

sonOfLucifer:

Atheist in love with Satan.

an atheist believing in satan is absurd

sonOfLucifer:
In the beginning was God.

And he got bored because the world was void. God knew not how he came. He had always existed. He is, was and is.

He couldn't die, so he couldn't be said to be alive. He was. He just was.

At some point, a thought came into his head. Now one can't say where this thought came from. Or if this thought gave him a sense of purpose. But it was a good thought.

So he spoke. And there was light. And with that light, he saw lots of darkness. And space, lots of space. The kind of space that will put a smile on an Ikwerre man's face.

So off to work he set. A planet here and a planet there. The world was his creative playground. All he had to do was speak and it became. The original talk and do.

Y serve a loser. Satan is nothing worth serving. Not cool bro. Not cool.

Lucifer fell. Have u 4goten ? I see u falling too just like he fell. Think of the free gift God provided. O thou fool! Y u hide from the truth. The truth will hunt you till you bow.

DavidOluyale:


Lucifer fell. Have u 4goten ? I see u falling too just like he fell.

Yay.

Not sure what to write. This one pass me.

It was the weekend finally.After such a stressful week creating planets, rivers, and all other nonsense, God was about to embark on his biggest project. He put on his TMIF (thank me it's friday) t-shirt as he stepped out of his magnificent palace in heaven, specially built of course, by him.

He arrived Earth in the blink of an eye, landing right in the middle of his beautiful Garden. The beauty of intergalactic superCreator travel.

Quickly, he asked the animals to gather round for the first ever meeting of the Creatures. He promised them more fruits and when the snake showed up late for the meeting, he spoke extra feet to his legs. When they had all arrived and settled, he made the announcement to them..

"Birds, fishes, respected mammals, I gather you today to bring you good news. Ever since I created you a few days back, I've been thinking that you'd do better with a manager. So I've decided to create a new specie today, one who would rule over you in my stead"

"Oh let him have my ears and hands" the monkey screamed, swinging lazily on an elephant's trunk...

"Oh no, no, no....", God replied. "I have a better idea, I've decided to make him in my own image"...

The animals all rejoiced and celebrated. They couldn't make sense of what he said, but it must be an awesome idea.

"Relax, relax " God said as he tried to get their attention amidst the uproar his announcement had made.. "It's not going to be easy, and I'll need all of you to contribute. First, I'll need some clay"

"Erm, you're standing on it" the tortoise pointed out.

"Oh yeah, yeah, thanks, I'll just start working now. So y'all can leave me alone so I can work in peace"...

And so it began. God's greatest project. Holy divine sweat dripped down his godly brows as he shaped the perfect man; face, abs and balls all carved to perfection. Just as the sun began to set in the horizon, his magnificent work was finished.

All that was left was his breath. To initiate chaos.

Only a supernatural could inspire such poetry.


Though I am not sure how the Toothfairy fits into all of this.
But I am staying tuned.

Following

So when the clay had caked, God exhaled and the clay inhaled. Thus, the heart began to beat and pump blood, through every vein and every artery. And he opened his eyes and saw no one before him. Only a voice. And the voice called him Adam..
And soon, some creatures were gathered around him, and the voice said he'd the power to name them. He was informed that he would have to manage and take care of every single one of them.

Adam took one look at the monkeys throwing faeces at each other, the baboons and the hyenas making raucous sounds. This definitely wasn't going to be the best job in the universe. There was nothing to envy here.

'Oh, before I forget, just one thing. You see that tree right there, the one between the guava and udara tree, yeah that one, don't go near that. It ain't safe. No matter how hungry you are, I FORBID YOU FROM EATING IT. Never ever ever eat it.'

'But, why?', Adam asked, as he noticed a strange feeling rise within him.

'It's just bad. Don't do it. It is the tree of knowledge. You'd know good from evil' God replied.

'What is good and what is evil?' Adam asked. God was stumped.
'Oh, ehn, never mind, heheh, ,just stay away from that tree. It could harm you, you really don't want to know the consequence'. And God disappeared before Adam could ask any more unsettling questions.


Daily, Adam cleaned the garden dutifully. He hung out with the animals, cleaned and fed them. Daily, he walked past the three, not even so much as glancing at it for fear he'd be tempted.

One hot afternoon, Adam fell into a deep sleep and when he woke up, he found he had 6 pack abs. One was missing. Scared to death, he quickly jumped and received the greatest shock of his short adult life. If the shock could kill him, it would have. But these were times in which men lived to be 900 years old and a heart attack was just a minor reaction to too much gardening.

Before him, stood the most beautiful being he had ever seen. And God whispered in his ears, 'that's your 7th pack right there'.

The first birthday gift ever was a woman, born of rib.

sonOfLucifer:
So when the clay had caked, God exhaled and the clay inhaled. Thus, the heart began to beat and pump blood, through every vein and every artery. And he opened his eyes and saw no one before him. Only a voice. And the voice called him Adam..
.........

Before him, stood the most beautiful being he had ever seen. And God whispered in his ears, 'that's your 7th pack right there'.

The first birthday gift ever was a woman, born of rib.

What were the purpose of Adam's balls before Eve was created? Did he just mastur.bate?

onetrack:


What were the purpose of Adam's balls before Eve was created? Did he just mastur.bate?

Peeing. Erections came after Eve. True story.

O ye agent of darkness, what seeketh thou?

mayorall:
O ye agent of darkness, what seeketh thou?

Knowledge and understanding

sonOfLucifer:

Knowledge and understanding

But thy master has the knowledge of the world. I hope you are not seeking divine knowledge

KingEbukasBlog just view and pass biko. I no get strength to argue.

mayorall:



But thy master has the knowledge of the world. I hope you are not seeking divine knowledge

All knowledge is divine.

sonOfLucifer:
All knowledge is divine.

That of your master is only worldly knowledge.

sonOfLucifer:

Peeing. Erections came after Eve. True story.

What of a belly button, did Adam and Eve have one?

LOOOL OP you are a good writer, you have a nice imagination

sonOfLucifer:
In the beginning was God.

And he got bored because the world was void. God knew not how he came. He had always existed. He is, was and is.

He couldn't die, so he couldn't be said to be alive. He was. He just was.

At some point, a thought came into his head. Now one can't say where this thought came from. Or if this thought gave him a sense of purpose. But it was a good thought.

So he spoke. And there was light. And with that light, he saw lots of darkness. And space, lots of space. The kind of space that will put a smile on an Ikwerre man's face.

So off to work he set. A planet here and a planet there. The world was his creative playground. All he had to do was speak and it became. The original talk and do.

The above still makes more sense than the bottom.

Richirich713:


The above still makes more sense than the bottom.

Ok. Your ignorance is sexy.

wiegraf:


What of a belly button, did Adam and Eve have one?

Adam's belly button was a scar made after God pulled out his ribs. Eve didn't have one.

The Garden of Eden was the first home of mankind. Eden was a garden of many firsts: the first place man peed, the first place man had sex, the first place man called home.

Adam and Eve, the first couple, trimmed the gardens during the day and fornicated at night. The ribwoman Eve would trim Adam's beards when he was done gardening late in the evening. She'd gather fruits for her man while he trained the animals on basic garden etiquette and it was on one of these fruitgathering trips she'd meet a snake that would change the destiny of the world.

Whether this snake could talk or it was possessed by a being, we'd never really know. But this snake's IQ was definitely higher than Eve's. For, how in Bleep's name, could a creature made from a man's rib, be so easily misled by a fucking snake?

Maybe it was the legs that got her tripping. She noticed him slithering on a tree, minding his own business.
'Hi Mr Snake, how far now? Hw body?', she said, as she set her basket full of freshly plucked oranges and guava beside the tree.

'Body dey inside scale, Ribwoman, how Oga Adam? ', snake replied.

' Im dey fine o.. I just tire for this life. No fun here. Those monkeys broke a giraffe's neck yesterday while swinging on it. Adam had to explain to God that he had his hands full chasing the hyenas away from the Forbidden Tree'.

The snake took one long look at her...

She continued.
'Why is that tree forbidden? ' she asked.
' Didn't Adam tell you? ' snake replied.
' Yeah, he said God gave him instructions against eating from the tree. He was warned that it'd kill him'.

'Kill him? Hahahaa.. No ribwoman. That tree won't kill you. The tree is dangerous because eating its fruit will give you great wisdom and knowledge. You won't die but live after eating it. You go sabi better thing if you chop that fruit, wallahi sister true to God. Chop am and you go see'..

Eve was taken aback at first with shock. There was something about what this snake that sounded right and wrong at the same time.

'Honey, where are you?. She looked up as Adam walked into view in the distance.

'I'm coming boo. Just getting your favorite fruits to make a fruit salad for you tonight '.

She quickly got up, and when she turned to bid the snake farewell, he was no where to be found.

The story of creation as postulated by Christians really has a lot going for it, only thing is the people that wrote it didn't have great foresight. Talking snakes and donkeys, while intriguing are still things that should be left in a children fantasy book not a serious book that aims to explain the why and how of existence.

@op, your story is hilarious by the way although I'm not too sure of your own aim (are you giving your own account as inspired by Lucie or just narrating how the events actually happened. Either way, it's interesting).

I also read in a different thread that you used to go by the moniker Muskeeto and if that's the case, my oga, I troway salute. (I doubt you'll even remember me).

blueyedgeek:
The story of creation as postulated by Christians really has a lot going for it, only thing is the people that wrote it didn't have great foresight. Talking snakes and donkeys, while intriguing are still things that should be left in a children fantasy book not a serious book that aims to explain the why and how of existence.

@op, your story is hilarious by the way although I'm not too sure of your own aim (are you giving your own account as inspired by Lucie or just narrating how the events actually happened. Either way, it's interesting).

I also read in a different thread that you used to go by the moniker Muskeeto and if that's the case, my oga, I troway salute. (I doubt you'll even remember me).

I remember you. A***e