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Re: How Do I Correct This.... by Nobody: 3:17pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
The reason why the God factor is important in marriage. It is never as clear as white, looking at the reasons you gave they are very perfect in our eyes as humans but it is only God that makes the difference through revelation. You talked about she not praying with you, I want to ask was it like that before you married her?. Did you bring God into the equation during courtship or you felt that everything was in place already so let me jump in. For the yet to be married ones, you need to seek the face of God. Please marry God fearing spouses, somebody who you know loves the things of God not pretenders and you will never regret. 6 Likes |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by Roland17(m): 3:30pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
Get a grip of your household young man!!!! "Sadly the woman you claim she has become is the woman she truly is and its your choice to accept this disappointment or become indifferent and paddle the canoe alone albeit in a different direction" Assertiveness should be a dominant character trait of any mature man and women appreciate men with such traits, your decisions making and mannerism should ooze the aura of respect in your household, your presence is being taken for granted, you don't have to be controlling or physical but certain decisions going forward would guarantee this. When you assessed a loan for her to establish a business and did not make her jointly responsible for servicing the loan you shunted your respect and she fed into that. When you witnessed different maids subjected to physical and mental torture and you ignored, you were fanning her embers of dominance and control. When her cousin from the village stopped attending school because your wife who is not even responsible for the fees withdrew her, you turned a blind eye even after your confrontations and rants. Truth is your wife is calling your bluffs!!!!!!she understands you would never be assertive in certain decisions thus would allow you vent and that would be it, it is especially troubling when you consider your daughter is watching, kids are receptive to environment, language and tone of speech and would invariably start reacting to those factors. With regards to educational advancement I personally think it's her choice if she decides to pursue graduate studies but in some aspects you have encouraged her redundancy and this has led to laziness and and a despicable lifestyle which also affects her health with regards to her weight. If possible head back to the company that processed the loan and change the terms of the loan, make her primarily responsible for servicing the loan and you can become the secondary partner, in the instance the terms can't be reviewed make her accountable with the business and if she refuses shut the business down....yes shut it down.. Stop any further hiring of maids, personal assistant especially under aged kids within the house or business except a contract that states the terms and conditions of work and responsibilities attached. Invite her parents to your house and in her presence explain all your frustrations, (your house would be better in the instance where you are overwhelmed by the frustrations, it would be in your house, so nobody claims disrespected in their house) this is not because you are inviting a third party into your marriage affairs but because you want a witness, don't sound like you deserve pity, vent like you have had enough but also respectfully and make it clear changes have to happen in the marriage going forward. Look inwardly and also find instances where you can improve yourself. And for Christ sake get a grip of your family... 10 Likes |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by Fraih(f): 8:09pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
From this story, I reckon that Marriage aint gona be a smooth ride all the way, one just has to be prepared well for what it holds. #learningFromtheCommentsAbove. |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by WHOcarex: 8:16pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by Vikky014(f): 8:23pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
drdrei09:seconded |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by Vikky014(f): 8:33pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
intbizoil:Nice advice |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by Miami11: 8:37pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
Endtime marriages Wonder if you picked her from church and recommendations. Some people have wicked hearts. It's their personality you will never make them good people. Usually they pick fights with anyone around them.that your wife might be these people. |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by Vikky014(f): 8:42pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
Welder:PRAY OVER IT She need deliverance 3 Likes |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by Onegai(f): 8:48pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
I really am sorry you're going through all of this. Did this start immediately after marriage or was there a gradual build-up with a turning point? I'm trying to understand this. I've seen something like this (with differences) in another couple's life and it makes no sense why someone will change so drastically. And that physical violence on her part, you should NOT take that from her or anyone. |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by pragmatistm(m): 9:31pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
Double post. |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by pragmatistm(m): 9:32pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
Kindly read these articles on setting domestic issues. You can discuss the points with your wife also. You can save your marriage by applying the points there. https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201512/family-strife-how-it-happens/ https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201512/stop-strife-at-home/ https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201512/differences-in-marriage/ 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by BluStreak(m): 10:55pm On Jan 03, 2016 |
@OP, before the table turns against you, take the matter to her parents before she does. This is because, if she does before you, she is definitely going to paint a different and demeaning pictures about you and her family will believe her story, after all they are her family you know. And guess what? That will make you the bad guy in the fold. You are a good man, don't let your wife drive you to an early grave. She definitely will find someone else to comfort her and you will be gone for good. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by BuddhaPalm(m): 1:22am On Jan 04, 2016 |
1 Like |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by drmikeadams(m): 1:32am On Jan 04, 2016 |
byvan03:?..I for give u 2chilled bottles of origin if say u dey near me....op just need to be u predictable for one.day..I go supply am Weed,if em smoke finish,em go act Wetin em wan act..the wife just need to see the other Side of him.. 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by Welder(m): 5:38pm On Jan 04, 2016 |
Thank you all for your responses. intbizoil: This is quite revealing. In retrospect, I believe I must have overlooked this aspect. The signs were there from the beginning. Onegai: It actually started when she got pregnant, just after marriage. She became very aggressive and lashes out, I thought it was some hormones hence I just let it slide. She just got worse after delivery. Vikky014:Doing that already. God will take control. Thank you so much. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by wwwkaycom(m): 5:12am On Jan 05, 2016 |
Welder:send her packing asap |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by angelTI(f): 6:52am On Jan 05, 2016 |
End time wife!!!! |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by jabojafa(m): 8:29am On Jan 05, 2016 |
Op u seems to be too soft and dt is why she is misbehaving. U may hv noticed d differenc btw GEJ n PMB govt. GEJ was so soft n u saw happend. PMB is been hard and u r seein d differenc. U shdnt be investing anymore to her business again. Let her manage d business with wot she makes from der. If you dont caution her in d way she treats n beat ppl children, she might end up killin sum1 child. Also d seed of wickednes she is sowin today u wud surely reap it. Op u hv to really be d head of ur home in action/deed and nt in words. Ur wife hv no rite to insult u. Abt d religious aspect didnt u notice b4 hand? Its only prayer dt wud mk her change. So keep prayin to God abt her cos der is not God cnt do. Jst do sometin u hv neva done God b4 and He inturn will grant ur request. Lastly i dont tink u even need hus help. U got jst one child. U wife isnt a banker. And ther shdnt be much work in ur hus sef with jst 3ppl living. Insist on no hus help n she shd take up her responsibilty as a wife. Communication is d key. Always communicate with her. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by GodnGold: 9:07am On Jan 05, 2016 |
@welder,you are nagging about her physique,talk to her about it. Be blunt if you like,tell her those women she says their hubby are taking care of look better than her(na as me and my bugatti deh joke) Finally,tell her that you won't be a party to ill treating a person's child. Mean it when you say it by threatening to call the girl's parents. Stop interfering with her work and how she deals with her workers. Women are unbelievable! But the cousin who is directly under you,you should look out for her. Address this issue of maltreating a child with seriousness. Women do a lot of things that we see everyday and marvel. Stop nagging,learn to turn a blind eye to issues that don't affect you directly,stay out of her space,so that you will live a long healthy life. Life in Nigeria is hard,nobody should make it worse. 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by ahnie: 11:46am On Jan 05, 2016 |
You go sabi Borrow ppl husband's ooh SexyStrawberry:#second owners# 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by halfaplot(m): 1:22pm On Jan 05, 2016 |
I'm sorry about your ordeals in this marriage,it's just your side of the story we've had though,but it's obvious you are a good Man. Lemme add this quickly which could be helpful. 1. Please don't give up on your marriage yet 2. Continue being the caring, responsible,humble and dedicated FATHER,just for the SAKE of your precious DAUGHTER. 3. Learn and try to close your eyes to ALL affairs in her business jurisdiction 4. Keep communicating with your wife NO matter what(response or not) 5 Buy relationship inspiring books to learn more about other people's experiences 6. Loving consult her parents or ANYONE she respects soo much for reconciliatory moves between you two 7. Consult a marriage counsellor with deep spiritual understanding(based on your religious views) 8. Keep praying and believing,not focusing on how God would resolve the crisis 9. Give your daughter more years to grow up to maturity a bit more,if your wife wouldn't change over time...QUIT abeg,so you don't die prematurely. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Correct This.... by Qualer: 3:06pm On Jan 05, 2016 |
GodnGold:
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Re: How Do I Correct This.... by ATMC(f): 10:54pm On Jan 05, 2016 |
Try walking away. Something good might come out of that move. |
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