Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? - Family

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Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? - Family - Nairaland

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"My Wife’s Beauty Makes Me Sleepless, I Want A Divorce" - Zimbabwea Man To Judge / When You Get An Invitation To A Divorce Ceremony. / 'return Me To My Former Shape Before A Divorce' - Wife Tells Husband (2) (3) (4)

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Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by finewoman(f): 12:34am On Jan 04, 2016

Pls I need ur honest advice because I am at d verge of filling for a divorce. My marriage is just 3 yrs old and I hav two sons for him, we are currently separated and living separate for 16mnths now and all dis while he never called nor checked up on his kids to knw how dey are fairing, I hav been d one taking care of the kids alone. I left him because not only dat he physically and emotionally abuses me, he is also indecisive, he risks my life and dat of the kids, he has once abandoned me and d kids on d road stranded the day we payed him a surprise visit in uyo, we slept on d road till d following day and wen it was obvious he wasn't coming to pick us, we went back to lagos. Mind u the children he abandoned on d road were just 1yr old and 2yrs old. his family won't allow us leave in peace, dey are always interfering and it has always caused problem between us. The both families were called for reconciliation after 16mnths of separation. Its two weeks now since we were reconciled but he has not come to see us nor even called me on phone. He is very heart less and full of pride and ego, he never apologise wen he is wrong, and from all indications he has not changed. I am being pressured into goin back to him even wen he has not apologised for all d Ill treatment he meted out to me. all I really want is a divorce. Pls wat should I do?

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by Nobody: 12:43am On Jan 04, 2016

There is more to this story undecided

op how did you meet your husband?

how well do you know him before marriage?

Does he acts like this before marriage? if not what happened, if yes : why did you marry him ?

if im to overlook these questions , I can't advise you continue in such marriage neither can I say you file for divorce. All I can say is.

Pray to God.

3 Likes

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by MRBrownJ: 12:45am On Jan 04, 2016

you certainly dont need to be married to this man any longer, and since he doesnt care about you and these kids, there is no point continuing this charade.

i just dont understand what you called this reconciliation for?! after 16months, there is nothing to "reconcile"

8 Likes

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by GAZZUZZ(m): 12:50am On Jan 04, 2016

take the story from the beginning, this is incomplete how did you meet? how long did you court? How long have you known him?

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by DuchessLily(f): 12:55am On Jan 04, 2016

Hmmmmm... Na wa ooo.. God pls save marriages. Soften the hearts of heartless spouses. .. Amen

And U sound like a good wife
OP since abuse is included in his crime, Don't go back to him yet, but don't divorce him yet too. Just continue being separated for now. Hope u r working or have a biz, u have been taking care of ur kids, pls try and continue. It's not easy ooo... But God will help u.

Then keep praying for him, ur marriage and ur home, continue being good, take care of urself and ur kids. God will answer and help u

But don't rush and go back to him oo, let him become remorseful, repent and come beg for u and ur kids, if not , if u just rush back to him, he will continue maltreating and abusing u , cos he will feel u can't do/survive without him

I can bet he is also an unfaithful husband

It is well with u , ur kids and home. Amen

1 Like

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by finewoman(f): 12:59am On Jan 04, 2016

We never dated, I was recommended for him by his family friend who knows me, we only courted on phone for just 3 mnths befor he rushed me into d marriage.

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by GAZZUZZ(m): 1:01am On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
We never dated, I was recommended for him by his family friend who knows me, we only courted on phone for just 3 mnths befor he rushed me into d marriage.

and you ma rush follow am? You are married to a complete stranger, who is most likely already married.

7 Likes

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by DuchessLily(f): 1:03am On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
We never dated, I was recommended for him by his family friend who knows me, we only courted on phone for just 3 mnths befor he rushed me into d marriage.

Wow!!!

babe!!!!! What Desperation

3 Likes

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by poshestmina(f): 1:04am On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
We never dated, I was recommended for him by his family friend who knows me, we only courted on phone for just 3 mnths befor he rushed me into d marriage.

..Ma'am,that 'marriage ' was not meant to be and it WON'T work
Save your life and kid's

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by Miami11: 1:06am On Jan 04, 2016

Please move on. You are better off having him fight for you than you fight for the marriage.That man does not care and am sure he has another woman.
Forget him girl. Don't keep on begging him.

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by finewoman(f): 1:15am On Jan 04, 2016

Thnks for your advice but how can I move on when he has refused to take back his bride price and am sure he won't grant me divorce. I dnt also want to loose the custody of my children to him. Am soo confused I dnt knw d way forward.

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by Zuriela: 1:35am On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
We never dated, I was recommended for him by his family friend who knows me, we only courted on phone for just 3 mnths befor he rushed me into d marriage.

I was going to ask where do some women see ds kind of husband to marry but when I read ds post I decided to swallow it.
Ds is where d problem is. U guys don't know each other, u are strangers n he obviously isn't ready for marriage n selfish.

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by drmikeadams(m): 1:42am On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
We never dated, I was recommended for him by his family friend who knows me, we only courted on phone for just 3 mnths befor he rushed me into d marriage.

he rushed you or you rushed yourself ??.

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by fasho01(m): 1:45am On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
We never dated, I was recommended for him by his family friend who knows me, we only courted on phone for just 3 mnths befor he rushed me into d marriage.

This is why I recommend intending couples court for a while especially when you guys didn't previously know before dating.

However, during the 3 months you courted, how was his behavior? For agreeing to marry him, you should have been able to have your way with him a little. Why not exploit that aspect with him now? And is the 'recommendee' family friend not aware that for this long your husband has abandoned you and the kids?

I feel there's far more to this story. Please give us the full picture.

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by Moana(f): 1:45am On Jan 04, 2016

Keeping yourself and the kids safe is what is most important. Let your main focus for now be your wellbeing and that of your child, and let God take care of the rest.

Uncle agabaI23 come and see one of you so-called rare cases on NL sef.

1 Like

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by FirstCounsel(m): 2:06am On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
Thnks for your advice but how can I move on when he has refused to take back his bride price and am sure he won't grant me divorce. I dnt also want to loose the custody of my children to him. Am soo confused I dnt knw d way forward.

How do you mean "he won't grant you divorce?" If you put forward a strong case the court would annul the marriage. He may contest it hotly but if you prove the marriage has broken down irretrievably, then that's it...

1 Like

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by cococandy(f): 2:30am On Jan 04, 2016

You can't be married to someone who does not want to be married to you.
And you can't let him keep you in limbo forever by refusing to accept his bride price and grant you a divorce. That's the hallmark of a wicked person who doesn't want you to move on with your life but won't accept you back in his.
You have to decide your future by yourself. Stop the helpless attitude.

6 Likes

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by EfemenaXY: 3:14am On Jan 04, 2016

Another poorly spun super story created by another bored teenager aimed at generating another gender war.

"Lady", if you must lie, then at least do it convincingly.

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by cyprus000: 3:45am On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
Thnks for your advice but how can I move on when he has refused to take back his bride price and am sure he won't grant me divorce. I dnt also want to loose the custody of my children to him. Am soo confused I dnt knw d way forward.

[size=13pt]
I don't want to go into your love life with him,cos I apply the law of moses in such scenario.

I'm only interested in you having custody of your kids.

Legally, you do have a strong case against him when it comes to custody of your kid.

They are has follows:-

*he abadoned his responsibility to them has a father with no upkeep.

*he put them through emotional strain, by his insensitivity to their feelings.
E.g not being there to encourage them in their engagements...he doesn't show up on their special day lyk birthdays and end of the year party.

* he even left them stranded in the middle of danger.
With good lawyer. You will be able to establish his incompetence to have custody of your kids.

Just try to get him admit that he did left you and your kids stranded or get one or two witness to help butress your case.
[/size]

2 Likes

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by Luukasz(m): 4:04am On Jan 04, 2016

I believe in Married people divorcing than having unsolvable or lengthy probs in their marriage.
If i was in your shoes divorce is the best.
A lot of people are having probs in their marriage but they stick to him/her cos a certain book is against divorce and at the end they regret not divorcing or perhaps seperate from the other when the prob was still fresh.

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by finewoman(f): 5:12am On Jan 04, 2016

Thanks all, I will proceed with d divorce. I am now convinced I am thinking the right thing.

1 Like

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by Nobody: 7:49am On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
Thanks all, I will proceed with d divorce. I am now convinced I am thinking the right thing.

Thought you LADIES appreciate courtship more than marriage.
PLEASE, didn't u court him.. .?
How did u meet him....?
Was he a Spiritual husband before he became Physical?
Because, I vividly know that, you must have known him to some xtent before marriage...
And I still believe U saw at least 50% of his real self.
Was it a marriage of MONEY answereth all things. .?
Were you not told that Marriage has always been for better or for worse. .?

So educate us more.

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by PresVA: 9:36am On Jan 04, 2016

Someone who puts your life in danger isn't worth living with...

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by Creamish(f): 9:50am On Jan 04, 2016

cyprus000:

[size=13pt]
I don't want to go into your love life with him,cos I apply the law of moses in such scenario.

I'm only interested in you having custody of your kids.

Legally, you do have a strong case against him when it comes to custody of your kid.

They are has follows:-

*he abadoned his responsibility to them has a father with no upkeep.

*he put them through emotional strain, by his insensitivity to their feelings.
E.g not being there to encourage them in their engagements...he doesn't show up on their special day lyk birthdays and end of the year party.

* he even left them stranded in the middle of danger.
With good lawyer. You will be able to establish his incompetence to have custody of your kids.

Just try to get him admit that he did left you and your kids stranded or get one or two witness to help butress your case.
[/size]

In addition to the highlighted, the age of the kids is another strong point for u. If you have endured physical and verbal abuse, please leave before he kills you.

4 Likes

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by finewoman(f): 10:50am On Jan 04, 2016

Thanks every one for your advice.

2 Likes

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by Chinwem(f): 2:17pm On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
Thanks every one for your advice.

Goodluck OP
Stay blessed
You ve made the right decision to leave IMO

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by KanwuliaJara: 2:35pm On Jan 04, 2016

You are in a very difficult situation.

Just stay where you are.
DON'T divorce and DON'T go back. kiss

Just keep raising your kids ALONE!!!!

You have the best ANY man can give you. . . . Your OWN children, as a SPERM DONOR. kiss

Don't be deceived. You can NEVER GET LOVE AND RESPECT from a NIGERIAN MAN.
Do the needful and use them to achieve your goals.
Only YOU can make yourself happy.

The only thing WORTH keeping in a NIGERIAN marriage is THE CERTIFICATE!!!! kiss

In ANY Nigerian marriage, there is "NO VERMONT"!!!!! kiss

Abi ya mama nor gist you the koko of the mata? grin

If no, then I am sooooooooo sorrrrrrrrrrrry for you!!!!! cheesy

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by SAMBARRY: 3:39pm On Jan 04, 2016

Nawa o.isn't it too early in the year for all this gory and depressing stories undecided

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by SAMBARRY: 3:40pm On Jan 04, 2016

finewoman:
Thanks every one for your advice.

hmnn

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by SAMBARRY: 3:42pm On Jan 04, 2016

Creamish:

In addition to the highlighted, the age of the kids is another strong point for u. If you have endured physical and verbal abuse, please leave before he kills you.

hmnn

Re: Is It To Go Back To Him Or Get A Divorce? by greatcrown: 4:09pm On Jan 04, 2016

If all u said were to be true; I think the two of u were not ready for marriage!

Even now both of you are still not ready.

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