....Truth be told this is the section where guys hardly smile until offer letter drops!!!....there are some comments here that will crack your ribs but due to the tension in this section guys don't find anything funny. Let's look at some scenarios

Exhibit 1

The OP posted a wrong email for us to send our application
Mr. A: Op the mail ain't going through
Mr. B: keep trying maybe it's network
Mr. C: Just keep trying or wait till tomorrow morning
Mr. D: We should just continue trying who knows
Mr. E: Some of you are saying all these just to discourage others

Op: Just keep trying that was how I sent mine

Me: keep trying, keep trying na door we wan break? ...lol.....Exhibit 1 was inspired by lagos civil service recruitment

Exhibit 2

Job description: Not more than 24yrs
Mr. A: What non-sense they should go to the primary schools and recruit from there
Mr. B: oooh When will Nigeria see that all these doesn't matter
Mr. C: They want the Job to only be for their children
Mr. D: Thunder Fire Una
Mr. E: I know say them no want make I apply before
Mr F: Who even want to work in a bank?....but you see the thread title ooo
Mr G: What is the average graduate age in Nigeria ? .....na me u dey ask? Do census na
Me: Read comments roll on the floor check job description again....click like for Mr G....SMH...exhibit 2 was inspired by Access bank

Exhibit 3

Test Invite don drop!!!

Mr. A: please how did you apply @Op
OP. : submitted my cv at the hQ
Mr. B: pls how did you apply
Mr. C: how did you apply @ OP....he saw the op response oooo...perhaps he didn't see it
Mr. D: I also got the invite I registered at the careers section
Mr. E: can I still send my cv?
Mr. F: Are they still accepting cv,
Mr. G: how did you apply
Mr. H: how did you apply
Mrs I : did you not read what the Op said?
Mr. J: pls how did you apply?
Mrs. K: You ppl are so wicked we 've been asking no body wants to tell us how they applied
Mr. L: How did you apply?
Me. : reads comment rolls on the floor...but me sef no get invite...me sef ask..pls how did you apply abeg bros?......inspired by diamond bank recruitment.......

The list is inexhaustible looking at class of degree, hnd/bsc, uni attended...you will just keep laffing.....lalasiclala, davide470, Seun...pls move this to Fp......let us laugh abeg since economy ain't smiling. feel free to add your exhibits...

Finally indicate where you are guilty ...be ye still searching, under-employed, fully employed, over employed or self employed or just employed...

Op u forgot "i got the mail, pls wts d test format"
mrb: pls send to mail mr c: me too mr d: me too mr e: me too

Op u forgot "i got the mail, pls wts d test format"
mrb: pls send to mail mr c: me too mr d: me too mr e: me too

https://www.nairaland.com/2849897/urgent-job-vancancy


The second poster after the op

I'll get the humour of this thread when I finally get a job, until then...

Can someone pls push this to FP
Its funny
Hahahahahaha

Exibit 4

Vacancy: A company in Lagos is urgently in need of a Chemical Engineering graduate

Note Only Bsc preferably Female

Mr A: Please Sir I have an OND in physics can I apply?

Mr B: Why the discrimination? Afterall poly graduates are more intelligent rubbish!

Mr C: Mscheew

Mr D: My name is Nnamdi I am 29 I have Bsc Elect Elect @Op pls can I send you my cv?

Mr E: Please OP this is my mail xyz@yahoo.com

OP: please you guys should stop sending me PMs I am not a recruiter I only saw the vacancy and I posted it here

Me:

Whenever I wanna laugh, this is the Section I visit Naija Graduates no dey dull at all.

Chaii, God help us

Cpumping:
Op u forgot "i got the mail, pls wts d test format"

mrb: pls send to mail
mr c: me too
mr d: me too
mr e: me too

And that is how GNLD Guys send them this type of invite:
You are invited for a job test with Beta Age Co ¿ 2, Esther Osiyemi St. beside Ilupeju Sec. School,Ilupeju on Fri 8th Jan 2016 by 9 am Info: 08143453174
The dull ones will stil come here to open a thread asking if it's real or fake.

Cpumping:
Op u forgot "i got the mail, pls wts d test format"

mrb: pls send to mail
mr c: me too
mr d: me too
mr e: me too

that is ehhhh....is it shl? Saville? Dragnet? Gmat? CNN? BBC? Or aljazeera?......loool

Heart breaker.....

Mr M: I just received the success mail few minutes ago. Oshee!

Lol. Desperation everywhere

MissIndependent:
Exibit 4

Vacancy: A company in Lagos is urgently in need of a Chemical Engineering graduate

Note Only Bsc preferably Female

Mr A: Please Sir I have an OND in physics can I apply?

Mr B: Why the discrimination? Afterall poly graduates are more intelligent rubbish!

Mr C: Mscheew

Mr D: My name is Nnamdi I am 29 I have Bsc Elect Elect @Op pls can I send you my cv?

Mr E: Please OP this is my mail xyz@yahoo.com

Me:

Whenever I wanna laugh, this is the Section I visit Naija Graduates no dey dull at all.

...Lwkmd...loooool.....if you read some comments you will laugh until you start crying....hahahahaha

brainzdh:
Heart breaker.....

Mr M: I just received the success mail few minutes ago. Oshee!

guy was it mail or text? Did dey call you? When did you go for medicals? Na when you write test? Lagos or abuja? Who supervised the test?....loooollllll

Suigeneris93:
I'll get the humour of this thread when I finally get a job, until then...

Before the end of the month God will bless you with your dream job

Bigmarx:
guy was it mail or text? Did dey call you? When did you go for medicals? Na when you write test? Lagos or abuja? Who supervised the test?....loooollllll

Hahahaha! Via mail ooo, around 5:39pm this evening. I wrote mine in Port Harcourt, na my cousin(as usual) help me submit my CV without my knowledge. Lmaao!

faites:
Lol. Desperation everywhere

No be our fault na...

Op: XYZ Company is currently looking for Personal Assistant, Admi Officer, Account Officer. HND/B. A. graduates should submit their application in Person to XYZ Company, 123, ABC Road, Lekki Phase 1, Lagos.

Mr A: Op I got B Sc in Computer Science, and am interested in Admi Officer, can I apply?

Mr B: Op, please how can I send my CV? No email was stated there. (as if e no see Apply in person to XYZ Company there)

Mr C: Op, am in Anambra now, can I send my CV to you so you help me to submit, please I need this job.

Mr D: How much is the salary scale?

Bigmarx:
Before the end of the month God will bless you with your dream job

Amen

Abirisegun:
Op: XYZ Company is currently looking for Personal Assistant, Admi Officer, Account Officer. HND/B. A. graduates should submit their application in Person to XYZ Company, 123, ABC Road, Lekki Phase 1, Lagos.

Mr A: Op I got B Sc in Computer Science, and am interested in Admi Officer, can I apply?

Mr B: Op, please how can I send my CV? No email was stated there. (as if e no see Apply in person to XYZ Company there)

Mr C: Op, am in Anambra now, can I send my CV to you so you help me to submit, please I need this job.

Mr D: How much is the salary scale?

lol subconsciously we are all comedians

The hustle is real Bro.
people eyes dey red


Gatecrashing is surebanker.
GNLD guys are looking for magas.
Scammers are looking for emails.

All on the job section.

Naija na wa

Lwkmd!! Nairaland job section is just the funniest, no dulling moment....
.
Abeg this thread is FP worthy

MissIndependent:



And that is how GNLD Guys send them this type of invite:
You are invited for a job test with Beta Age Co ¿ 2, Esther Osiyemi St. beside Ilupeju Sec. School,Ilupeju on Fri 8th Jan 2016 by 9 am Info: 08143453174
The dull ones will stil come here to open a thread asking if it's real or fake.

Oh, you only know the dull ones. Lemme tell you about the VERY DULL ones.. ....after telling them the coy is fake/GNLD and all that, with various testimonies and warnings from different people/victims, you'll see THEM still ask, should I go for the interview? I just tell them Yes, go for the interview. Then, I add ODE OSHI.

Inioluwa01:

Oh, you only know the dull ones. Lemme tell you about the VERY DULL ones.. ....after telling them the coy is fake/GNLD and all that, with various testimonies and warnings from different people/victims, you'll see THEM still ask, should I go for the interview? I just tell them Yes, go for the interview. Then, I add ODE OSHI.

Ahhhhhh.....looooolll....is not easy having nothing to do...lol

Inioluwa01:

Oh, you only know the dull ones. Lemme tell you about the VERY DULL ones.. ....after telling them the coy is fake/GNLD and all that, with various testimonies and warnings from different people/victims, you'll see THEM still ask, should I go for the interview? I just tell them Yes, go for the interview. Then, I add ODE OSHI.

Suigeneris93:


Amen

But you have to seek his kingdom and righteousness first....then his Grace will swiftly attend to your needs...

While looking for a job can be stressful, you've got to take time out and read the job description, it'll save you a whole lot of headache...

First rule is to always read and understand.

Anyway na Nigeria we dey, where everyone is looking for a job irrespective of the career path.

As funny as this thread is, it exposes the thinking faculty of the average Nigerian graduate, that's why I agree with companies that say most Nigerian graduates are not employable, its a mean statement but sadly it's the truth.

kaycodes:
While looking for a job can be stressful, you've got to take time out and read the job description, it'll save you a whole lot of headache...

First rule is to always read and understand.

Anyway na Nigeria we dey, where everyone is looking for a job irrespective of the career path.

As funny as this thread is, it exposes the thinking faculty of the average Nigerian graduate, that's why I agree with companies that say most Nigerian graduates are not employable, its a mean statement but sadly it's the truth.

I agree with you but I believe your last paragraph is erroneous, fallacious and full of assumptions. We are in a country where nothing works how do you expect the graduate to get exposed? The difference btwn a havard grad and a Nija grad is exposure? Is it the fault of the students? When we have companies operating with crude techniques and undergrads go there for SIWES to learn this crude methods and poor management techniques do you expect the students to go back to the class room and then become exposed over night? If a firm or an employer makes such comments I see them as hypocrites. Ericsson employed a guy from my Alma mater and today he co-ordinates and grooms new trainees all over the world. Guess what before he transferred to my Alma mater he attended a low rated polythetnic in Nigeria.......we are employable because we can be trained and that is what firms abroad do to their interns and fresh grads....stop being a hypocrite

Bigmarx:
I agree with you but I believe your last paragraph is erroneous, fallacious and full of assumptions. We are in a country where nothing works how do you expect the graduate to get exposed? The difference btwn a havard grad and a Nija grad is exposure? Is it the fault of the students? When we have companies operating with crude techniques and undergrads go there for SIWES to learn this crude methods and poor management techniques do you expect the students to go back to the class room and then become exposed over night? If a firm or an employer makes such comments I see them as hypocrites. Ericsson employed a guy from my Alma mater and today he co-ordinates and grooms new trainees all over the world. Guess what before he transferred to my Alma mater he attended a low rated polythetnic in Nigeria.......we are employable because we can be trained and that is what firms abroad do to their interns and fresh grads....stop being a hypocrite

Do you understand the meaning of the WORD Hypocrite,
In what way have I been a hypocrite or practised hypocrisy, when people like you use words out of context it makes assertions of employers hold true.

Again, I said MOST, which means a vast majority, it certainly doesn't mean all, again it means that statistically the graduates that are employment ready when they leave the school system are few.

Irrespective of what might have resulted in the deplorable state of our educational system that has brought about our inability to leave up to expectations, this does not change the FACT.

On your believe that I assumed, I have attended interviews, and also had the opportunity to interview others, I can say for a fact that MAJORITY of students acquired certificates without any form of learning whatsoever.

Now back to being hypocritical, I studied in Nigeria, and I didn't even have the opportunity to study in a federal university, I came from a very modest family, plus I graduated with a third class YET I work with an international software company with team mates from different parts of the world. I didn't get here by chance, I made myself employable in the face of everything that was against me, and God in his mercies saw my sincerity and opened the right doors to me.

Being employable goes beyond your grades it has alot to do with your knowledge and skill set within your chosen niche. Otherwise going by your assertions companies should start employing graduates and training them afresh just because the system is hadicapped.

So please KEEP QUIET and stop calling people names you have never met or have no idea who they are.

funny trend!

I was having a good laugh until I scrolled down to the point where one poster just took pleasure in downgrading Nigerian graduates. I forgive you **** can't remember your moniker but please don't spoil our fun here. You should be in careers section since you have gotten the almighty job with a tech company!

Kai! I'm supposed to be laughing, wanted to type a funny scenario too but my mood has been soiled.

Have a good laugh guys! Laughter is good for the soul.

**** modified: Ehen! kaycodes I forgive you... lol. Thank you, you are welcome, don't mention.

amicable09:
I was having a good laugh until I scrolled down to the point where one poster just took pleasure in downgrading Nigerian graduates. I forgive you **** can't remember your moniker but please don't spoil our fun here. You should be in careers section since you have gotten the almighty job with a tech company!

Kai! I'm supposed to be laughing, wanted to type a funny scenario too but my mood has been soiled.

Have a good laugh guys! Laughter is good for the soul.

**** modified: Ehen! kaycodes I forgive you... lol. Thank you, you are welcome, don't mention.

The guy is a genius perhaps he is the only employable Nigeria grad...oooh lesss I forget he is gainfully employed. so those struggling to get a job are perhaps unemployable......well by 2070 no one in this career section will be talking about job...loool...don't kill the fun I am still expecting your exhibit.....