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Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her - Family - Nairaland

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Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by SSpeter(m): 3:14pm On Jan 17, 2016
I know this might not be totally right but at least it will make me feel great. Egbon wants to get married in march and automatically I will become the best Man. But I don't want him to get married to her. It is not because of her but the dad.

It all started back in 1998 my dad was having a court case with our supposed in-law over our house. The house was sold to my dad by the late late brother of our supposed in-law. That was even before my dad got married. We have lived in that house for more than 10yrs. My siblings and I were born there. After the death of the brother in 1998 he dragged my dad to court saying his brother was only a benefactor and does not have the legal right to sell the building and their late father made him the executor of His properties according to the late father's will. My parents were partners in business and their office was located at the ground floor of the building where we lived. Their goods were also stored there (plumbing equipment).

Prior to joining the plumbing business, my dad was into commercial inter-state transport services after suffering heavy losses he auctioned what was left and joined my mum in the plumbing business. A year later he was in court with our supposed in-law. The legal battle started in December. Egbon travelled with an aunt of mine who had won a visa lottery the previous year. My sisters were older than the guys. they were already in boarding school. I was the king of the house. My dad suffered many embarrassment at the hands of our supposed in-law. He dragged the case for some years money meant for business ended up in legal battles. My dad had to borrow to pay suppliers. He couldn't not order for new materials anymore and the business eventually collapsed. Extended families gave their support until 2003 when a lagos high court handed our supposed in-law victory undecided

My dad wanted to appeal the judgement but his lawyer told him to get an apartment with whatever he has left. Although my parents thought they hid everything from us. Perhaps my sisters didn't notice because they were not always home but I saw my mum cry severally. I saw the fears in my dad eyes. I listened to their whispering at night I knew we were doomed. Our supposed In-law sold the house to a bank. The bank gave two weeks to evacuate. But before the notice expired they brought sledge hammer and started destroying the building with our properties in it. My dad tried to protest but he was beaten and arrested. For the first time I saw our "Supposed In-law" that day ordering the boys to destroy everything. My dad was later released days after. I went to live with my cousins. My sisters also went to live with my other cousins.

In 2006 I wrote a mail to Egbon I narrated all that happened to him and he vowed he was going to ensure that they payed for it dearly. Few years later, I got admission into the university my parents embraced christ; But I still feel bitter. How time flies, my sisters are both married and it's just me preparing for the life of a bachelor; Until recently my brother told me his plans of getting married, I noticed it because he has visited us more than usual last year and had extensive discussions with my parents. But whenever He came back He still promised my dad that he will never forget all that happened. My dad told him that was in the past but I know what my brother was capable of doing as regards family.

He brought his supposed girl friend (I believe that is all she will ever be) to the house last christmas everyone welcomed her but immediately I set my eyes on her, she looked like the man that was giving orders to tear down our house. I asked her for her surname, when she said ****US, I knew she was the daughter of our long time enemy. When they left, my mum and dad begged me that I shouldn't say anything. That they have forgiven him. She invited my parents and I during the new year but I declined. I have also told my brother I can't be his best man. He thought am joking cos it was via mail. My brother had assured me severally whenever I told him what became of us after then that incident and he told me "I will give up anything to deal with the Man that messed with my family". I guess I will have to tell him the whole truth. But my parents keep calling me every single day to beg. "Saying I should not bring him misery. That they were happy he decided to bring home a cool headed lady".....But I just can't let it go. Unless my brother and I will decide not to be brothers anymore because I will never go to his house if he marries her. I will never associate myself with him or anything that has to do with him.

I have finished typing the truth I want to send the mail to him...I don't know why I am hesitating (I guess my parents will forgive me sooner or later) but he has to know the truth!!!!....i can't dine with my enemy!.....I don't want to see her dad face again....never...I hope am doing the right thing....i think I am.....perhaps I am...

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Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by yinkus4u2c(f): 3:25pm On Jan 17, 2016
Follow your heart hun cry

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Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by obiorathesubtle: 3:27pm On Jan 17, 2016
Brother, you have to let it go.. You don't have to be bitter about it anymore.. Your parents have told you to forget about it.. This is an opportunity to reconcile both families together.. Please.. Don't do what you want you to.

42 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by jopretty(f): 3:27pm On Jan 17, 2016
And after doing that you'll feel ok, right? Have you thought of how your brother will feel if your action finally destroys his relationship? Guy, your parents have forgiven them, do so for peace to reign. Pls.

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Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by emmyw(m): 3:27pm On Jan 17, 2016
You Better Summarize This Write Up

13 Likes

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by cruzita(f): 3:29pm On Jan 17, 2016
hmmmm in between the devil and the deep blue sea

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Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by zizazizu: 3:36pm On Jan 17, 2016
Whatever your decision, you will still feel terrible about the outcome.

Just let them be. You are not God.

19 Likes

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by IamLEGEND1: 3:44pm On Jan 17, 2016
Ruin their relationship.
We dey ur back.

172 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by Nobody: 3:46pm On Jan 17, 2016
I support you 100%. I'll do the same if I were in your shoes. Forward the mail to your brother before he makes a terrible mistake

137 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by Nobody: 3:47pm On Jan 17, 2016
IamLEGEND1:
Ruin their relationship.

We dey ur back.
we dey him back ooooo.

29 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by SSpeter(m): 3:48pm On Jan 17, 2016
zizazizu:
Whatever your decision, you will still feel terrible about the outcome.

Just let them be. You are not God.
I am can never be God. I don't want any of those memories......My brother should know the truth. He deserves the truth!.....i can't be part of a family with a man that nearly ruined my family

84 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by Nobody: 3:49pm On Jan 17, 2016
jopretty:
And after doing that you'll feel ok, right? Have you thought of how your brother will feel if your action finally destroys his relationship? Guy, your parents have forgiven them, do so for peace to reign. Pls.
did you even read the write up? Put yourself in his shoes and tell me if you can forgive that. Someone who destroyed their properties

39 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by Creamish(f): 3:54pm On Jan 17, 2016
Why is it that children pay for their parent's sins?

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by holusormi(m): 3:59pm On Jan 17, 2016
Follow your heart !!! As far as this case is concerned you cannot be wrong .... On the flip side however , if you decide to tell your brother and ignore what your parents said , what happens if he still marries her ? Anybody who goes on a journey of revenge should dig two graves ...

Although if na me , I go tell am ooo.... Yeah am badt like that !!! cool

But IDK sha

43 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by Nobody: 4:03pm On Jan 17, 2016
I dnt knw hw 2 advce u because if na me, d thing go haaaaarrrrrrd

1 Like

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by Ofunaofu: 4:14pm On Jan 17, 2016
Op, follow your heart, but remember that there is always a reaction to every action we take.

1 Like

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by SSpeter(m): 4:25pm On Jan 17, 2016
holusormi:
Follow your heart !!! As far as this case is concerned you cannot be wrong .... On the flip side however , if you decide to tell your brother and ignore what your parents said , what happens if he still marries her ? Anybody who goes on a journey of revenge should dig two graves ...

Although if na me , I go tell am ooo.... Yeah am badt like that !!! cool

But IDK sha
I think am digging three

2 Likes

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by sweettinz20(m): 4:37pm On Jan 17, 2016
Obey your parents so ur day on earth will be long, u are young and angry,I will also be 2 but ur parents the most affected have forgiven them, u 2 should let it go,but I will also advice u tell ur brother because sooner or later he will know, I pray it is not when they get married because that will be worst, so that he 2 can let the bitterness go, if not it will haunt both families in the future. Don't let the girl pay for something she knows nothing about

17 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by Sarang(f): 4:43pm On Jan 17, 2016
If you are gonna keep it a secret you are gonna keep it forever..
If he marries her you cant do nothing about that..
If you are gonna say it you gotta say it now..

Your choice..
Its a hard one.

27 Likes

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by Nobody: 4:44pm On Jan 17, 2016
May God almighty forgive all of u

cry its ur turn to laugh and make jest now but certainly d mockery wont last for long and u are not God cry

I brought dis upon mysef i wil b fine

1 Like

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by yemoxyl(m): 4:58pm On Jan 17, 2016
Op I support u 300%
There is no way he won't get to know she's ur long time enemy's daughter

26 Likes

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by Nobody: 4:59pm On Jan 17, 2016
Guy just take easy, I feel your pain. But I didn't see anything wrong here na? It's a court case and you lost shocked.....i mean.....just take it easy

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by Nobody: 5:01pm On Jan 17, 2016
sweettinz20:
Obey your parents so ur day on earth will be long, u are young and angry,I will also be 2 but ur parents the most affected have forgiven them, u 2 should let it go,but I will also advice u tell ur brother because sooner or later he will know, I pray it is not when they get married because that will be worst, so that he 2 can let the bitterness go, if not it will haunt both families in the future. Don't let the girl pay for something she knows nothing about
I think parents are just being emotional....that guy should know

20 Likes

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by themilanway(m): 5:07pm On Jan 17, 2016
Call a family meeting that involves your parent,married sisters and your brother.

Tell every one present your findings about who the girl in question is and ask them to verify your claim from your parents.

Tell your brother to his face that you won't be part of his marriage to the girl but that doesn't change or stop your love for him.

Also let him know that you are not making decision for him regarding whether he marry the girl or not,you are only setting the record straight for prosperity.

The decisio on whether to forgive and forget should your brother against your expectation goes ahead with the marriage lies only with you.

Then again,be prepared to be held responsible if your brother meets your expectation and decides to dump the girl and some how cant/couldnt get a direct replacement or replica of the afore mentioned girl.

Its a two edge sword.

An igbo parable says"The mind is a bag".

May good reasoning and wisdom guide you

93 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by gunpoint(m): 5:15pm On Jan 17, 2016
Dude you are right.
Send the f*cking email

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Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by myfantasies(f): 5:23pm On Jan 17, 2016
D girl dad is a heartless being

I can't allow my brother to get married to a lady whose dad has no sympathy, maybe d wickedness even runs in dere blood

42 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by gunpoint(m): 5:26pm On Jan 17, 2016
SSpeter:
I am can never be God. I don't want any of those memories......My brother should know the truth. He deserves the truth!.....i can't be part of a family with a man that nearly ruined my family
Dude, you are right!
Dont mind all this f*cking holier than thou's talking smack now, no one was there when your mother cried all those dark nights or when your father suffered the humiliation of been locked up for a building he had duely paid for. When our parents get old and soft, its our duty to watch over them and protect them.
I swear on my life to hunt the lineage of anyone who trys this sort of shiid with my folks, so i can relate to what you are saying, especially cos you were right there when it all went down.
You cannot have these people as inlaws, this world is larger than having to pair with this same people.
And i know even if your family as forgiven them, they will always view you people with suspicion, and it will tell on your brother who they might some how turn against you guys. Send the email, rest your conscience! !!

70 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by SSpeter(m): 5:38pm On Jan 17, 2016
themilanway:
Call a family meeting that involves your parent,married sisters and your brother.

Tell every one present your findings about who the girl in question is and ask them to verify your claim from your parents.

Tell your brother to his face that you won't be part of his marriage to the girl but that doesn't change or stop your love for him.

Also let him know that you are not making decision for him regarding whether he marry the girl or not,you are only setting the record straight for prosperity.

The decisio on whether to forgive and forget should your brother against your expectation goes ahead with the marriage lies only with you.

Then again,be prepared to be held responsible if your brother meets your expectation and decides to dump the girl and some how cant/couldnt get a direct replacement or replica of the afore mentioned girl.

Its a two edge sword.

An igbo parable says"The mind is a bag".

May good reasoning and wisdom guide you
The thing is my dad had told my sisters a diluted summary of the whole event. He told them subtly that it was a court case one person must win. That I am only being over-reactive. And ladies go always believe hook line & sinker.....So the family meeting may not be a good idea cos sisters already thinks it's just a court case we lost

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I Don't Want My Brother To Get Married To Her by themilanway(m): 6:23pm On Jan 17, 2016
SSpeter:
The thing is my dad had told my sisters a diluted summary of the whole event. He told them subtly that it was a court case one person must win. That I am only being over-reactive. And ladies go always believe hook line & sinker.....So the family meeting may not be a good idea cos sisters already thinks it's just a court case we lost

You still need to set the record straight.If your parent are truly"born again"as you told us,then you need to compel them to say nothing but the whole truth regarding the land/property issue.

14 Likes

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