I think nothing is wrong with [marrying a single daddy]. What do you guys think?

It is wrong to marry a single daddy if you know you won't be able to treat his child as your own firstborn.

angel-val,if i may ask, why? do you want to marry a single daddy?ain't no man for you on earth again.

If the single daddy is loving, mature, intelligent, and wealthy, then he's better than most men without children.

Single daddy with how many kids?

SEUN,how come you are ENCOURAGING single daddy marriage?

we naija need to adjust our mentality, for real. quit all that widows and single father shit. Now, wat tha hell wrong with single daddy?

dennylove:

angel-val,if i may ask, why? do you want to marry a single daddy?ain't no man for you on earth again.

Did she say she wants to marry a single daddy? Can't you pple read and understand for once?

What's your opinion and stop being a pest on this thread?

hell no its not wrong . . .
if you love him enuff to date him do so . .

if you guys are compatible and love each other then go ahead and marry him.

mine has one kid, dont really love the idea, but i love the guy so i ve got to love and accept his kid, the kid by the way is the cutest evr!

Nothing wrong at all with marrying a guy with a kid!

Nothing wrong with a guy marrying a woman with a kid also!

If you love each other, nothing else matters

heeeeey,RADDY-BABE,I know say na only you if talk to me like that, how far,how schull,hope COCASTIC n FANTASTIC,
but,one more advice,don't go and marry a single daddy wit children,b\cos you no fit BEAR THE SHIIT.

Single Daddy, What about his Wife?, How many Kids?(Not Really An Issue), DO You Love Him to face anything in future? Pls answer this question sincerly then i believe the answer to yourquestion is in it.

it is very wrong to marry a single daddy. there is no way u will treat is child like yours.

dennylove:

heeeeey,RADDY-BABE,I know say na only you if talk to me like that, how far,how schull,hope COCASTIC n FANTASTIC,

u not serious. . . . skul deh o. Just deh come back sef, I say make i know what's up for here

Laterz

babe, i dont think its wrong, because single daddy is better than those play boy. but be assure its not sugar daddy. and provided u can love his children like urs. not that wen u have ur own, u will now start discrminating. And be ready to face any challenges anytime. But if u can make persevarance, truth, love and oneness ur friend, be assure victory is urs and u will surely laugh.

Hmmmmm! Is Seun a single Dad

i don't c anythin wrong wit marryin or datin a single daddy if u luv him enuff and can handle his child then wat d hell go ahead

A single father or mother may be a widow, a divorcee, or a victim of sexual assault or teenage stupidity. Those are not crimes that deserve a lifetime of punishment. Even if the parent deserves such punishment, the child does not.

I'm not a single father, neither am I a single mother, but I just don't see the wisdom in avoiding a good partner just because he/she has a child. Don't marry them because of "love" but because of compatibility.

Seun:

A single father or mother may be a widow, a divorcee, or a victim of sexual assault or teenage stupidity. Those are not crimes that deserve a lifetime of punishment. Even if the parent deserves such punishment, the child does not.

I'm not a single father, neither am I a single mother, but I just don't see the wisdom in avoiding a good partner just because he/she has a child. Don't marry them because of "love" but because of compatibility.

Very well said Seun! - a sign of a rare ability (in Nigerians) to think beyond the confines of a very narrow mind. - bound by the stupidity of social norms.

We are so f'kd up in our narrow-mindedness and warped priorities -it's not even funny. We claim to be so intelligent as Naijas but really, think about it - what makes the 'only-me-and-my-offsprings mentality' any different from a pack of wild animals that are not intelligent enough to socialize beyond the boundaries of their packs?
Darn pack of wild hyenas! I bet some of you will even eat the young for your own selfish benefit.

So there is no room in our evil hearts for unconditional love of a child who's (father/mother) one claims to love? And we wonder why messed up things happen to us in Nigeria - we are too f**king wicked as a people!!!!!! And we have learned to cleverly disguise our wickedness by sheepishly inclining towards norms (blindly like sheep).

If the man get pickin nko? Is that more important than finding out what kind of a person he really is (in character, etc).
So some of you are advicing to leave the man without asking questions more pertinent to a long lasting and loving relationship other than the fact that he has a child or children. So what? When did a child become a problem? Aren't kids in general, people to be nutured and hopefully developed to their full potentials? It's only in Nigeria that another person's child could be so negatively regarded just because you are not the birth parent. Yet, we'll be so fast to lay claim to them when inspite of wickedness they have grown into successful peeps.

[b]My uncle-in-law and aunt (both Nigerians) have been married for 30 years now - first in Nigeria and came to the US when the girls where 6 and 8 years old. Each had a child (one girl each) prior to marriage. You won't even know that any differences exist in their household. My cousins are so close, and realize they each have one 'other' parent but they wholeheartedly regard my uncle-in-law and aunt as THEIR PARENTS because that's the way they treated them - as 100% belonging to each. They even planned naija vacations together (as the parents) so my cousins could visit their now remarried biological parents and other siblings. The result is that together, and with their love, they have groomed 2 fine citizens. Both are medical doctors from Ivy league schools - earning crazy dollars. Of course, the biological parents are prolly wishing now - but if you ask my cousins, their parents are the ones that raised them. That's who they know as providing unconditional parental love. Both visit, and regard each part of our families as 'their' family. My other cousin even spends more time visiting us than my blood cousin sometimes. They react and pitch-in the same way if either parent is ill or needs them. I can't even begin to imagine what the outcome would have been if they had been doomed to mindsets like some I have seen on this forum. For example, if my aunt had treated her (step) daughter differently. Love begets love. Kindness begets kindness - you get what you give. if you treat/nuture the child as your own - it will in turn regard you wholeheartedly as it's parent. Children typically don't need much more than love and care. Is that too much to give - especially for a good man?
[/b]
[list]
[li]We'll readily accept the notion of people marrying 419-ers, habitually cheats, dating married men, prostitution etc but then consider a child a constraint to a loving relationship?[/li]
[li]Also - What in heavens name makes it difficult/impossible to love a child in one's care (assuming you marry the father) regardless of who the mother/father is?

Problem with us is that we are too wicked, spiteful, insecure Someone was even so stupid as to say - "oh, it is not your first born child" - darn, short-sighted fuul! [/li]
[/list]

Growing up, my parents trained (through notable federal and foreign universities) a total of 6 house-helps (no blood relations) as though they were our older siblings. Three of them were sent to the states for college. We all had the same darn opportunities - they even had them before we did (being older). Today we are all better for it. I have 3 (in addition to my siblings) homes all over the states that I can go visit and feel as though I were in my own home. I even stayed with one my first couple years in college. Her husband and kids regard me as her younger sister. And I know when I start having kids I'll have more FAMILY for my kids. My point is:

OPEN YOUR DARN MINDS INTELLIGENTLY!!! SEE BEYOND YOUR VERY SHORT NOSES!

Oh my. I don't believe its wrong at all to marry a man with a child, girl, u aint going to be the first nor the last.

Some advices I read are just plain simple and stupid. Sure everyone is entitled to an opinion, but please guys be realistic for once in your lives, this are real issues sometimes and u just treat em as jokes. C'mon.

I will ask you this, is it wrong to marry a single mom (to all them males and the one who posted this topic) Why do we see it so differently when it touches a man, we all want the man to suffer. The world is full of enough problems.

Girl, go ahead and do yo thang if you both love one another, and remember children are a blessing from God and you should know that.  Ignore some of the negative advice from others.

wat d heck is wrong with getting married 2 a guy with a kid or kid.if u ppl flow there is nuthin absolutely wrong

My dear, there is nothing wrong in marrying a single father.  If there is love and compatibility.  Being a single father or mother is not a crime and I bet nobody likes to be in that situation but circumstance atimes, but can one now open his or her eyes and let good things passbye because of one flimsy excuse, one will later regret? 

The devil you know is better that the angel you know now.  Its better to marry a single dad that will give love, kindness and sincerity(and can produce) that marrying a guy who will eventually jump around and the end of the day have children outside their matrimonial home without even telling the wife or going to the altar with a guy who is nothing but a "February".

Anyway, you don't have any problem in as far as you can accept his child or children though at times, it may be difficult especially if the kids are so attached to their mother or even father or vice versa but I belief  things can work better .

@ dennylove, my dear you sabi nothing, you must be very young I presumed.  But don't forget an adage that says "whoever is still living does not know what will kill him"

i don't know why we always talk and pick offences about the men folk.
i think topics like this should be uni sex, i.e. IS IT WRONG TO MARRY A SINGLE PARENT?

NOW BACK TO THE QUESTION,

I am a lady and wont be biased in this, i see nothing wrong in marrying a single daddy, in as much that i am aware of this before dating him.
all that matters is understanding, trust, mutual love and respect.
in as much as the guy is truthful i c nothing wrong in it. it is just because we are selfish , always wanting our children to be the heir apparent.
what if i have a child in my teen age, wont i see a guy to marry me, or because i have a child is it a crime or a pre-requsite for not marrying.
i think we should be more civil and accept/ embrace other people like ours.
a single parent , may be a divorcee, a widow/ widower, or youthful exhurbetance.
using the recent plane crash/ accidents as an example, wont their spouse start over their lives again, or how do u tell a young widow/widower of 30 years of age to remain single till Christ comes.
all that matters is LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, TRUST IN ISSUES LIKE THIS.

That na tested working
Just kidding.
Seriously there's nothing wrong. I can marry some1 with kids O.
Nothing dey there. Afterall I can adopt and will adopt even though I plan to have my own kids

What if the first wife return?

ayoolaltd:

What if the first wife return?

Even if she's dead?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm,

It feels funny when people analyse single parents. I'm a single parent with a boy and a girl. My wife passed away, so i became a single parent through circumstances completely beyond my control.

My advice to the poster of this topic would be to look at her decision from to viewpoints.

1. Can you take care of his kids as if they were yours?

2. Do you really love this person.

In all honesty, the 1st point is more important than the 2nd one. The most important thing to that guy right now and for a very long time to come, will be the welfare of his kid/s. It is only when he is at peace with their welfare, then he can allow himself to get involved emotionally. We all know how kids get treated by some evil step mothers and no man wants to put his children through that. The way to his heart would be his children. If you can love his children, he will do ANYTHING for you. And trust me, he'll treat you lot better than a fresh bachelor will. He already knows what to do. Nothing wrong as far as i'm concerned. I hope this helps.

@Rubbermade, what the noise for? What those stupid comments for?

Bet you more of an animal than any other person here. Nonsense!

If u really love him then go ahead.
But get ready to go through challenges
Good luck

EXHIBIT A: From Radiant(female)

Radiant:

@Rubbermade, what the noise for? What those stupid comments for?

Bet you more of an animal than any other person here. Nonsense!

Apparently, Exhibit A (Radiant) took offence to my post and possibly for good reasons too. Perhaps I hit too close to home. What I said was:

Rubbermaid:

"What makes the 'only-me-and-my-offsprings mentality' any different from a pack of wild animals that are not intelligent enough to socialize beyond the boundaries of their packs?
Darn pack of wild hyenas! I bet some of you will even eat the young for your own selfish benefit."

First: Physical appearance
Although hyenas bear some physical resemblance to the African wild dogs _{Please examine Exhibit A's photo - Radiant (Female)} , they make up a separate biological family which is most closely related to Herpestidae (the family of mongooses and meerkats). - From Wikipedia on Hyenas.

Ostensibly, according to her profile, I can deduce that Exhibit A from Magheru might be a wild African dog (female).

Secondly: Behavior
An adult hyena's bite pressure _{[Bite pressure as displayed in the 1st quote by Exhibit A - the Radiant (Female) Hyena]} can reach 800 lb per square inch; it can crush bone!

Hyenas and Children:
Infanticide is common amongst hyenas. "Prior to the mother's return, another adult female (a full sister to the new mother) arrives and methodically kills both newborns with crushing bites to the head" - (by Paula A. White) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyena


Now, please visualize for a moment - Exhibit A (Female) around a child that is not hers - given her innate desire to bite very hard, and the physical description of a wild dog - as displayed in her profile (Don't let shame make you change your picture o!). Now, what do you think Exhibit A aka Radiant from Magheru might do in that situation?

Looks like a hyena, acts like a hyena, smells like a hyena ----mmh, it might [/b]be a what? Mmh, I don't know -- let's see --- perhaps a hyena?!

[b]Thanks. I rest my case on Exhibit A.

DFWMB! I eat pea brains for lunch and [i]still [/i]have room for desert (burp). You have no freaking idea.