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My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! - Romance (15) - Nairaland

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Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by sucess001(m): 7:15pm On Feb 13, 2016
RichYoungNigger:

Thunder fire your mouth there.
What will you tell me ??
Stop invading people's private life.

He left him because he had no money, how do you think your words can convince her ??

Use your brain, son



U shd use ur brain instead. The guy brought his 'private' life for us to help him. Dumbhhead. And yea I can make her realise it's not about the job but the person. And mind ur language. U re uncouth!
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by hurting: 7:20pm On Feb 13, 2016
Trulie:
wow! guy I feel ur pain. And I mean it when i say I feel your pain. Years ago I was in the same position as u are now. At the point I thought life was void, empty, and a charade without HER. I loved her so much in ways the word 'luv' cannot fully define. So, like u, I thought it's done, am done. Days turn to month and months to years and am still here. still breathing, still living, still smiling, looking happier, and grateful. You see my dear, I found love again when I least expect. She has all the qualities my EX lacked. My guy, give urself time, am sure in few years time u will see the stupidity in wanting to end ur meaningful life for a less meaningful reason. Life is beautiful! Don't waste ur life for Nothingness.
Thanks
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by hurting: 7:21pm On Feb 13, 2016
crackhouse:
chai this dude don change everything to suite heartbreak including email. guy where u dey is far. I pray u come back. I put u in my prayers tonight.
Pls do! I need all the support
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by harveyspec: 7:26pm On Feb 13, 2016
@hurting

You earn 40k a month & have painted a picture of a hard working man, you haven't rested on your oars just because there isn't any job neither are you lagging behind on daily basic needs

the lady on the other hand earns 80k, a job you helped her secure

The above combination is enough for marriage if she were serious.

My advice, let her go, you don't beg. when it comes to marriage, the journey is very far. How long will you continue to beg

If she can't stick with you thru thick & thin, then she isn't your wife material, notice I said "your" she could be a good wife material for someone who is rich or from a wealthy home!!

it's not your fault you don't have a job, keep living your life & making improvements to the best of your ability. The right lady who will fit your shoe & grow with you will come along

Lastly, your 7yrs is child's play when compared to 5yrs in marriage. So your 7yrs is inconsequential here. Thank God you didn't settle for her, I don't think she can withstand hard times, her eyes dey big things

2 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 7:38pm On Feb 13, 2016
hurting:
Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.

I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.

After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.

Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.

This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.

She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.

Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit.
Pls help a brother.

pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.

P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.
........Hello...This is exactly how i feel now...U can read my topics..is all about my guy that left me for more rich woman and woman that can give him documents to stay in Europe coz i was not able to give him that...n i been with him for 5 years when he was so broke...I know how i feel....And also for me is so hard to accept that there is such people..But this ur girl is selfish..she only looking her own interest...Me i been with my guy WHEN HE HAD NOTHING..If this your girl realy loved u.she would stay..trust me...or maybe she does love u but she loves more herself....write me about anything or ask.me
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Moz22: 7:47pm On Feb 13, 2016
Icekyng:

baba abeg ur contacts too
I av sumtn similar I want to discuss
08167179462..like play like play, I don turn marriage counsellor

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by therealMcCain: 7:48pm On Feb 13, 2016
kaziblake:
you are not the only one.
I have made up my mind that I will never fall in love again.


your Falling in love has been the issue. Stop falling in love.

let your head do most of the work & not your heart

Always examine your status at every time T i.e always ask yourself if you have become better since you have been with a guy or if you we're lagging behind. If the answers is bad, it becomes easy for you to pull out on the grounds that ur heart is not the driver

Most importantly, ALWAYS start out as friends, this eliminates or reduces pretense

Then examine yourself, you attract who you are, who are you? What is your value system? Who are your friends?

If you can truly do this, there are people you won't even listen to, not to talk of dating

Work on yourself, read books(you will be amazed on the ton of info you can get online be it audio, video, books) evaluate all your past relationships(where did you miss it, what would you have done differently)

The above will help you in spotting Red flag/dangers on time eliminating the need for trial by error or let see how it goes

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by lastpage: 8:14pm On Feb 13, 2016
Justdulla:
Forget crocodile tears and winning her back jare, your matter done dey vex me, are you God? Did you create your condition intentionally? Sha had the audacity to move on without giving a damn simply because Your Alert never soar and your talking of true love my foot, even 2 face when sing true love sef no true.... Dont be blindfolded by emotions and tears wake up man, I bet you in a week or 2 now those tears would stop she go come change hand for you, move on with your lifeshe couldnt stand the heat so she left the kitchen...... If I see you lamenting again, I go flog you koboko

I will follow flog sef!

On of the greatest mistake "MEN" make (and l made it too, in my own time) is to think that "Love is Enough"!
Love is NEVER enough!

Women, the way they were created, need more than Love!
They need MONEY.... loads of it.
They need a man that exudes CONFIDENCE!
They need ASSURANCE
They need CERTAINTY
They need PROTECTION
They need SWAGGER
..and many more subtle things like being well-dressed, some level of handsomeness, neatness,
and most of all, a Man that is DECISIVE!

That last one is what build CHARACTER, in a man!

As a man, have a DREAM!
Work towards the achievement of that DREAM (am not saying be desperate and go and commit crime! undecided )
Work not just HARD.. but work SMART.
Make your MONEY.
Showcase your DREAMS.........

...and many WOMEN will FOLLOW that DREAM, you can then "pick and chose" from amongst them.

STOP this your "lovey-lovey tears" and gerrout from Nairaland before l join vex flog you! angry angry
Unfortunately, you have been DUMPED. get over it, work on yourself and your future........ come back and tell us if that "FUTURE" is not even better than TODAY!

Women are like Cars: If you see the one you think "is the best one" today....and suffer so much to have it, Wait till Next Year and see the NEW ONES that will come out. They make "today's choice" a waste of effort and resources grin grin grin


Lastpage!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 8:17pm On Feb 13, 2016
therealMcCain:



your Falling in love has been the issue. Stop falling in love.

let your head do most of the work & not your heart

Always examine your status at every time T i.e always ask yourself if you have become better since you have been with a guy or if you we're lagging behind. If the answers is bad, it becomes easy for you to pull out on the grounds that ur heart is not the driver

Most importantly, ALWAYS start out as friends, this eliminates or reduces pretense

Then examine yourself, you attract who you are, who are you? What is your value system? Who are your friends?

If you can truly do this, there are people you won't even listen to, not to talk of dating

Work on yourself, read books(you will be amazed on the ton of info you can get online be it audio, video, books) evaluate all your past relationships(where did you miss it, what would you have done differently)

The above will help you in spotting Red flag/dangers on time eliminating the need for trial by error or let see how it goes
Thanks so much smiley
I'm grateful.

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by enoch273: 8:17pm On Feb 13, 2016
hurting:
Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.

I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.

After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.

Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.

This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.

She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.

Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit.
Pls help a brother.

pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.

P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.


Oga are you telling yourself that she has been faithful just to feel better? Look here Mr.man don't throw away that your great life and plan God has in storefor you oo,trust me someone better will come, God will never take away something good without bringing something better.

Eat well and keep searching for your job, by the time you ve found someone that makes your dark day seem bright, she will come crying, kneeling and begging, then you can revenge by introducing her to your heartbeat that has been your shadow while she left.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by marcopollo(m): 8:28pm On Feb 13, 2016
Hmmm....Imaging what you're crying for. Somebody said you're no longer her choice for whatever reason and you're crying and begging. Are you crazy? What do you think marriage is? A joke? You better think with your head not with your heart.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Whobedatte(m): 8:32pm On Feb 13, 2016
swiffy:
Similar 2 Mine,same 7yrs.can't believe I can still Move On with life without him but tank goodness 4 everything though still finding it difficult 2 Love again. My advice is try not 2 be idle always keep ur self busy either by spending ur free time with good friends or reading ur bible, will prefer reading ur bible most especially before bed time I believe with dat,U wnt find it difficult 2 sleep at night n will also help U 2 tinkless at night. I knw its a very difficult task cus I can still remember d hell I went tru den,if not 4 God n my Loved Ones. I wuld av been history by now. so just try n 4get about her she does not deserve ur tears. A well deserved person will come ur way God's willing just b strong n wait 4 God's plan 4 U 2 manifest. take care
Ehya! such is life. Pele e. are you married now?
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by africanrapper: 9:04pm On Feb 13, 2016
you wan die untop woman matter; whereas there are so many fresher, hotter, juicier babes with better Education, better manners [obviously your former lady had little of this], more succulent boobs et al strolling all over Lagos?

bro, please get another woman immediately to take away any memories of this biatch from your mind.
You see, this is one of the reasons I advise people to screw more than one woman at a time, but una no go gree. You've been screwing only this biatch for 7 years and she has managed to enter your brain and commandeer it to do her bidding.

Even when she's told you to move on, you still dey there, dey bemoan your 'loss'. Bros, abeg find other women. Dem full everywhere abeg. Don't take your life because of one useless slowpoke wey want use you mark time.

Woman wey like you go dey with you no matter wetin you get/no get.

#africanrapper
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Ganjafama(m): 9:26pm On Feb 13, 2016
andromida:


No wonder the fuel attendant chic fled from you. You want to use her so you don marry.
Oh my God! LWKMD. Nairalanders una no dey forget something sef? I remember the dude that the fuel attendant chick perceived alcohol in his breath.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 9:29pm On Feb 13, 2016
The essence of a relationship is marriage and don't waiste 7 or 8years investing in a relationship that is going no where. Do you know you could achieve alot if only you work to discover the real you, plan for the future and get to attract the kind of lady that fit you.



You can give without loving but you can't love without giving.




Just avoid relationship for now and discover the real you.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 9:30pm On Feb 13, 2016
mimibright:
no dey can't trust me. Except she use juju.
Lol@juju.
True love's never die.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 9:32pm On Feb 13, 2016
scantee:
@op check out my last thread on Nairaland, i understands how you feel right now because mine just happend last month...few months to our Traditional Marriage, just be a man and ignore her for weeks, don't call her, if she does call ans her @ times...if she ask about your activites don't update her let her know ur always busy these days, she will start wondering what ur up to lately, she will start trying to figure it out by coming more closer to you, then you will start feeling more better & on top of ur world. That will help you get over it asap...jst take her as a friend whenever she calls and do not let her know you still feel hurt, pretends as if you no send am again. Mine is over me now begging me to take her back, but she has given me the opportunity to notice that there are more beautiful gals out there. NO ROOM FOR BUSHIT AGAIN.
so you finally walk away.

Thank God for you.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 9:34pm On Feb 13, 2016
omron:
Brother, the choice of your girlfriend does not worth your blood, you are a man and whatever happens to man in life should be accepted in good faith, okay let's assume she got married to you and she had an accident and died(God forbid) but what will you do?
Everybody just saying you should leave her and move on its not easy to forget someone you have been together for long I understand your plight but to make the matter easier
Let me ask you some questions
1.do any of her family member knows you?

2.do u any of your own family member knows her and knows you both together?

If yes it would be the best way to solve the issue

Send someone to her to talk to her and the person should let her knows how much you love her from your action and that you could not eat since she broke the news to you
She will feel remorse for you
But if she doesn't then leave her on her own
May be you both are not meant to be together
U know what I mean?
Destiny will take its course
See there are millions better ladies outside there better than her
Killing your self is not an option
If you die she will leave her life and you become a looser.....
While she becomes a winner
And many women will step on your grave
.....
My advice for you still try your luck but if she insist pls and pls don't beg her... She will belittle you.....

Let me share my own past with you..

There was this lady I was dating 6 years back
She loves me so much that at times she sacrifice a lot to make sure I get what I don't have, she is a lady from a rich background and one day she told me it's over
Not that I don't love her but when she told me I accepted it and didn't even go to her doorstep to beg her. I only call her on phone why she decided like that and she said she prefer someone with job to date and I said OK that I wish her well
Today
After 6 years from that time
She is married and am married
But what I have now her husband does not possess.....
I pray God gives u good job
And she will regret later for her Bleep up
Stay calm okay
so you are married?
What about that fuel attendant girl you were begging to date you?
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 9:42pm On Feb 13, 2016
Met him

Lord do not pass me by

If I ever meet him I will know.
pcguru1:


Temporarily your own will find you soon. For all you know you might have already met him. All the best
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by scantee(m): 9:57pm On Feb 13, 2016
kaziblake:
so you finally walk away.

Thank God for you.
my dear it was'nt easy @all..but i feel very much better now. Btw: to be single is very cool, i am now answerable to myself alone..
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by poik(m): 10:01pm On Feb 13, 2016
I wonder why suicide ranks topmost in peoples minds when thinking of the end to desperation and despair.
Suicide is sin. dont expect to go to heaven when you wake up on the other side. You took a life you could not create, forget the fact that its your own.
But how will someone think of suicide when there is 112, Jagged Edge, Joe Thomas,Mario Barrett, Mario Winans, Elijah Oyelade, Lecrae, Canton Jones, Donnell Jones, Tank, Jussie Smollet, William McDowell, Tony Evans, Dave Hollister, Sinach, Da Truth, Erica Cumbo, George Huff, Steve Crown, Cam, Vashawn Mitchell, Women of Faith,PlayStation 4, Dru Hill, at least 50 women who will make passes at you in your lifetime(depending on your social skills and looks, forget money, the more this xtics the better), pineapple juice, pounded yam, okro soup, dear blessed English Premier league, and too many more of which i cant begin to mention now.

People tire me o.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Appswheel(m): 10:13pm On Feb 13, 2016
So much have been said, I'd add, quite your heart and listen to the voice of God saying, I am God, I am with you and I have not left you so whats the suicide about?
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by FabioPeter: 10:15pm On Feb 13, 2016
It's easier for a Camel to pass through the eye of a needle than change the made up mind of a lady who has jilted her lover. From experience, I tell you,, the heavens won't fall.
There is one answer bro, make success of any good thing you do, it's most likely she will rue her decision. However, if you do not succeed, then she would say she made the best decision of her life.
"If you love something, let it go. If it's yours, it will come back, if it doesn't, it never was"

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by CosmicJames(m): 10:17pm On Feb 13, 2016
firstking01:
I wonder why a woman will tell a man i 've found somebody else and the next thing the man will do is start begging undecided....for me that's bullshit....


Op, proof her wrong by getting a high paying job, i'm sure you'd get it....and when she comes back kneeling before you and sheding crocodile tears, push her away and bang the door behind her...don't come here and be asking us if you should accept her back...



This is why i'm tempted to join the league of team foreign girls....rubbish
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 10:24pm On Feb 13, 2016
scantee:
my dear it was'nt easy @all..but i feel very much better now. Btw: to be single is very cool, i am now answerable to myself alone..
ok...Goodluck to you.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kunlejazz(m): 10:59pm On Feb 13, 2016
freshvine:
President Barack Obama took his wife to a local restaurant to eat. Before the could settle down to their food, the restaurant owner pleaded with the security officials with them to have audience privately with Michelle Obama. After conferring with the first couple of United States, the request was granted and Michelle move to hear what the restaurant owner has to say.

Few minutes later, Michele was back with Obama and they settled to their food. Obama out of curiosity asked his wife, "what is it about?" and Michelle told him the man has been crushing on her since she was growing up and wish he had the opportunity to propose before she moved to another town where she met him.

Obama laughed and tease her, "that means you would've been the wife of a restaurant owner"?
Michelle look at him and replied,"No, he would've have been the president and you'd probably be no body compare to him ... I didn't marry you a president.


There's a wisdom in this true story

Don't see much sense in the story. All I see is wit. Michelle obviously has a way with words and that's all there is to it.

She is DEFINITELY NOT the reason Obama is President of the United States. Read Obama's story, you'll know he's always had it in him.

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by mimibright(m): 11:13pm On Feb 13, 2016
kaziblake:
Lol@juju.
True love's never die.
lol, they can if the fault isn't from any, example distance maybe they where separated from childhood, or lost of communication ( maybe a natural disaster). But if she left him cause he was broke hmmmm. A guy will forgive u but never fully return to you, he might have fun with u but won't settle down you. It's only possible in nollywood movies.. It can happen sha but chances are very slim, am speaking from experience. My ex is so broke that I just don't understand why God keeps putting her in situations that requires my help. Usually I do but no amount of begging can bring us back together and yea I loved her soo darn much....
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 11:19pm On Feb 13, 2016
mimibright:
lol, they can if the fault isn't from any, example distance maybe they where separated from childhood, or lost of communication ( maybe a natural disaster). But if she left him cause he was broke hmmmm. A guy will forgive u but never fully return to you, he might have fun with u but won't settle down you. It's only possible in nollywood movies.. It can happen sha but chances are very slim, am speaking from experience. My ex is so broke that I just don't understand why God keeps putting her in situations that requires my help. Usually I do but no amount of begging can bring us back together and yea I loved her soo darn much....
Eeyah,Forgive and forget.
Life is too short bro.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by freshvine(f): 11:22pm On Feb 13, 2016
kunlejazz:


Don't see much sense in the story. All I see is wit. Michelle obviously has a way with words and that's all there is to it.

She is DEFINITELY NOT the reason Obama is President of the United States. Read Obama's story, you'll know he's always had it in him.


You mean Michelle Obama cannot stop Barrack from being President as his wife?
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by mimibright(m): 11:26pm On Feb 13, 2016
kaziblake:
Eeyah,Forgive and forget.
Life is too short bro.
I forgave her a long time ago, i was faithful to her to the core introduced her to mom and family. cry cry cry but because I was hustling then she dumbed my broke a$$ grin. If my mom hear say I accept her back hmmmm.. Na die by fire she go pray for one month. grin grin
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 11:30pm On Feb 13, 2016
mimibright:
I forgave her a long time ago, i was faithful to her to the core introduced her to mom and family. cry cry cry but because I was hustling then she dumbed my broke a$$ grin. If my mom hear say I accept her back hmmmm.. Na die by fire she go pray for one month. grin grin
so painful.
You really went thru a lot....she must be really regretting what she did.

It's well.

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