Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by esosa4real(m): 7:24pm On Jul 14, 2009 |
Experienced nairalanders i need your sincere help, input and advice on this. I am a kool, handsome, innoavtive 22 year old guy, studying medicine in a private university and hoping to be out in 2011 by Gods grace and also in love with my first love, a beautiful and kool gurl, same age with me who just finished from another univeristy just last week. Now the thing is, i have always worried about the possibility of us still keeping our lovely relatshionship till marriage as that is what we both truly want, mind you our relationship actually began since aged 18 and has survived through the long-distance hazzles, as that had been the order of the day cos we school in seperate states and might still be as shes leaving for her NYSC soonest though we still assure ourselves (esp her) that we have a chance for marraige in the nearest future And brothers and sisters i know marriage is not a play game or something u just jump into but i am rest assured shes the right wife that i need, as shes been the best girlfriend and infact she has inspired me in becoming more prospectful, careful with my life, positive in thinking and quite spiritual (stopped a lotta nasty and wrong sturvs now) cos i really want us to work, Please i need ur true advices and comments on this, some friends have tried discourgaing me to move on cos we are age mates and also that she might leave me for sum1 else who is a working class even with my propsects of becoming a doctor which she admires greatly, but some others are of the opinion that true love is ageless which i support and believe that we got a great chance even if shes done with BSC now and i in 2011 i would be a doctor though not settled but almost there, PLS actually what do u think? thanks, luv yall |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by platinumnk(f): 7:31pm On Jul 14, 2009 |
wait. if she loves u she will understand. Finish School. Congrats. if she doesnt wait, it is not the end of the world. There are other ones. More importantly she must have an understanding, once she has that, she shouldnt mind waiting. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by iice(f): 3:20pm On Jul 15, 2009 |
If you are certain you are in the right place, with your heart and mind convicted, i say go ahead. But don't marry because of fear. If she is who you profess her to be, she will understand and support you whichever way you decide. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by biola44: 3:23pm On Jul 15, 2009 |
time wud tell |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by kokoA(m): 3:30pm On Jul 15, 2009 |
Its sure possible if you guys can wait o.k? I don't see anything wrong with that. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by izeek(m): 3:32pm On Jul 15, 2009 |
dont be in a hurry to tie the knot, might prove difficult to loosen later. wait. if its urs then it wud surely happen. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by pinkylady1(f): 4:24pm On Jul 15, 2009 |
nairalanders have said it all so its up 2 u  |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Nautillus(m): 4:43pm On Jul 15, 2009 |
@iice. . .Situation here in Naija is completely different from whats obtainable oversees @Esosa . .bruv, i will tell you the truth . .older man to younger man. . .YOU GUYZ HAVE a 1/10000 chance of surviving your relationship that is. .another one year together. Don't even dream the marriage thing because. . .YOU . .you know that its NEVER Gonna happen now. . .haba. . you think your Parents who are already paying thru there nose for your school and most probably your younger once. .will foot your bill . , thats even going to far. . .will approve that you marry now? ? ? Esosa . . .Read your books. . .Keep your relationship running . .but sinserely. . .Get ready . . .Your gal is out of school . .She has stepped into a new stage . . .a stage you are yet to experience . . .THINGS will BE DIFFERENT soon. Brace yourself . . .But on the real . .I could be wrong  |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by pinkylady1(f): 5:05pm On Jul 15, 2009 |
Nautillus: couldn't say more than that |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by tosyne007(m): 5:06pm On Jul 15, 2009 |
Nautillus: i think i will go with u!!. the truth they say is bittter. @poster, dont be discouraged, it is a possibility that ur relationship will end in marriage but i wont mince words wit u, it is ONE IN A MILLION. like u said, both of u are age-mates, she's out of skool while u will be done in 2011.(exclusive of service year i'm sure). It's a long shot brother considering the fact that she will be in the working class level by then. Let me tell u, as it is, ur lady will be thinking of settling down in the next three years (that's the maximum) and u wont still be ready be then. I know it will hurt but i will advise u to prepare ur mind for the worst. I aint saying u should opt out; make her happy, affect her life positively and BE HAPPY TOO. at least, u both deserve that after all u've been thru but dont ne suprised if she calls it off someday. that's my opinion (doesn't really mean it's the best). p.s: i'm not totally ruling out a possibility that ur relationship will end well, just be careful and watchful. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Lady2(f): 3:08am On Jul 16, 2009 |
@ OP Have you had a serious discussion with your girl to know where she stands on the details of a marriage. Both of you should sit down and talk about it and be completely honest with each other. I would advise that you wait because you're still in school and she's heading for her NYSC. But it really is up to you and how mature you two are. I will give you a story of a couple I knew during undergrad. They were both sophomores (2nd year students) and strong christians. They knew they wanted to get married but decided to wait to have sex until their wedding night. They decided they wanted to have sex and therefore were contemplating marriage. They spoke to each other honestly about what they want in a marriage and what their expectations and goals are in life. Then they saw our psychology professor. The Professor told them to go for it. They got married and have been married for 4 years now. They both graduated and are doing well. They respect each other and understand that their obligation is to each other first. They set reasonable goals and stayed disciplined and so far their marriage has worked. So if you and your girl have reasonable goals and expectations for your marriage, and you're both not looking at the end and day dreaming at what you expect to be, then you will be fine getting married. But if you are not then don't get married. As for the wedding, a huge wedding is not necessary, you will be married with or without a big wedding. At the end of the day, you're married and that's the goal. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by C2H5OH(f): 8:09am On Jul 16, 2009 |
What's the rush? You want to jump into marriage out of fear that your love will fade? Terrible mistake my friend. If your love can't survive the next few years, what makes you think marriage will be the solution to keeping that love buzz alive? Be sure you are ready before taking a big step like that. If she truly loves you she will be supportive and understanding. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by iice(f): 3:26pm On Jul 16, 2009 |
Nautillus: I stand corrected  |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by ADUNOKIKI(f): 10:15pm On Jul 16, 2009 |
Look time is the greatest answer to all question with the support of God. If she love you she will wait even if it takes 7yrs. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by congoshine(m): 10:42pm On Jul 16, 2009 |
esosa4real:She's your first ,so she can't be 'the best'. take your time don't rush things,follow your heart & head. More importantly study hard,there are a lot of lovely people out there for both of u . . . . . |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by TheSeeker(m): 11:50pm On Jul 16, 2009 |
It won't work but hang on until it finally breaks and don't let her find your fault ; do all you got to do in the relationship but have it at the back of your mind that it won't work. 1 Like |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by TOPE20001(f): 11:52pm On Jul 16, 2009 |
give it time . . . enjoy life  |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by daduke2k(m): 1:44am On Jul 17, 2009 |
Marriage? Just 4get it ok. Hey congo how is it wit ur crush on d NL babe |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Nobody: 2:03am On Jul 17, 2009 |
I will advise you to finish medical school first. I understand that sometimes it is difficult to keep solid relationships in med. school. If you will finish by 2011, then i estimate you will be in pathology class right now, still rather a long way to go. 2011, plus one year house job (if you do ur housejob in Ghana 2yrs), and you will still need to serve. Which means, ideally, you will not be able to settle down and marry till possibly 2014, or am i wrong? I dont know your school, we may even be in the same school sef. . . .either ways, that is the safe way to calculate it |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Nobody: 5:30am On Jul 17, 2009 |
Esosa, sorry bruv but it won't work. I've been through that road. Expect your girlfriend to abadon ship in a few months (max. 1year) Soon, she'll meet big boys and start seeing you as a kid. But like they say que sera sera. Destiny may just bring u together again in the future. My advice, work hard, treat her right and brace up for when she will get tired of the relationship. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Nobody: 6:37am On Jul 17, 2009 |
Yeah gaggi's right soon she'll start to see you as a kid. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Nobody: 6:57am On Jul 17, 2009 |
Gaggi is right of course. My own advice is to work hard and not get extra years (or it does not happen in your school)? Besides, as you get into your finals, house job, and all that, you will see as the chics will start to chase you. . .especially if you wise up, and know how to make money with your stethoscope. Being in the medi-line sure has its advantages, and it is not to kill yourself over one girl. Anyways, i faced something similar to this way back in my part 1, i am now in my finals, with just less than a year to housejob - even then, marriage is not on my list at the moment, seriously |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by kalabi: 3:22pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
there is nothing bad in both of u waiting for each other, u just have to be sincere with each other, call her talk yr mind to her, whatever her response believe her. but what should be paramount in your life now is yr study, work hard to get a good grade out of school. if she love u, age, graduating before u will not be a barrier for you to get marry in future but dont hurry into marrage out of fear, marraige is more than the two factors u r considering (age and graduation). Open yr eye to watch these, has she been anyway proven to u before that, both of u are of the same age ? has she been anyway be proud, when there is little misuderstanding betwenn both of u what is her reaction?. whatever happen in the future always remmeber that she a human being, is only God that can not dissapont u. if she is yours, even if she goes to another planet she will come back for u. so be coolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lover boy |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by ak21(m): 6:44pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
if you would take my advice, i would rather you concentrate now and finish ur studies and every other things wil be added. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by ohaechesi(m): 7:13pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
dude don't mind those people asking you not to proceed with your intentions. go on marry her and quit your education and in time to come, you will have the best answer, u never hala |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by TheSeeker(m): 1:11am On Jul 18, 2009 |
Seek thou the kingdom of MBBS and marriage title MR & MRS shall be added unto thee |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by esosa4real(m): 5:59pm On Jul 18, 2009 |
hey hey hey, ,,thanks yall for keeping this post serious. I read thru the replies with mixed feelings with my heart pounding faster at some posts e.g(@ nautilus post) and slower on others. well i appreciate 'em a lot. @ nautilus, i understand what u mean, though didnt say i was planning marriage now, but ur sure ryte on observing what happens soon, As a matter of fact there are certain thughts which you guys have reinforced here which are - not getting married cos of just fear n graduation (cos they are more important points 2 marriage than those) - if she's truly understanding, then in the (1/1000 ratio) i could just have the only chance. - i rili v to concentrate on ma studies n finish Med school 1st (thanks "DHTML", yeah ur ryte am n path n pharm now will pm u later, prob in same school). -Time wud tell NOW THIS IS WHAT I STILL THINK- - i dunno if i have a chance, but will strongly keep up with the relationship and not just see but pray it survives the upcoming years, cos time wud surely tell, - we are both matured minds, i admire that in her too, she has a goodwill, good spirit, responsible and full of wonderful and prospectful future ideas, this has influenced me a lot -@congo though she's ma 1st, shes actually ma best, let me tell what happened in the past. I have actually thought about this whole thing , soon i entered the varsity, when it dawned on me that i was in for a 7yrs course n that she might not be able to wait soon after, then it was just puppy luv u know but strong feelings. I kinda just let go, which she really misunderstood as me leaving her for u know chics in skool n all that groove stuff, but guys that wasnt it, but still i tried to keep in contact once in a while, kinda avoided her though but kept thinking about her n tried to move on but just cudnt, if its about the chics, dats neva been a prob 4 me, am not ugly, am pretty kool n the works, no gurl was like her, even the more beautiful ones, i found no luv, u know no connection, JUST FANTASIES, But still i kept some little communication with her for the next four (4) years, saw her like once in 2yrs cos was rili scared about the heart brakes that might occur later on, still had her in mind, always see maself discussing about her esp with some frienfs who meet me 4 advice (kinda love doctor thing, cos i knew what real love should look like, e.g letting them know that u dont rili need 2 have sex with a gurl u truly luv n all dat crap gists), until we met again and i just cudnt hold it, when i saw her i told her everything, though she found it difficult 2 understand why a guy who claims 4 her wud actually let her go, but ma brothers n sisters thats the sincere truth, i thought the earlier the better, yet i cudnt live thru it, so we came along again, better, bigger n stronger, till now that she's done with school, Now you can see that its actually been real the whole time n am so sure its her. -Mind you we have kinda discussed about this a couple of times and anytime i sound pessimistic about the future, she discourages it n assures me it wouldbe fine though the ist time, she was kinda nervous when i told her i was gonna be thru in 2011, so ryte now am scared that her understandings might change gradually now that she's outside n wondering if iwe are still gonna work. MY QUESTIONS -"its up to me" what do u guys really mean by that? -for those who said there's a chance, what are u advises to sail thru? -for those who said it wont? i appreciate alot that ur trying to be relaistic but really whats ur advise then? -I DONT EVEN KNOW BUT PLS MORE COMMENTS!!!! LUV YALL, THANKS, everyone that commented from the 1st by platinumnk to the seeker, U guys @ NL rock. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by TheSeeker(m): 6:08pm On Jul 18, 2009 |
It can never work. When she starts to work, her family puts more pressure on her to get married and when she's being asked to do that, you'll be surprised a man from the blue will come and start marriage talks, then you become this jobless undergraduate. That's how it works, it's happened many times before. The words you hear from her goes like this "I do love you very much but I have to respect my parent's decision" and boy, is there anything you can do to truncate her plans? NO! Not to mention of the new guy has some loaded cash somewhere. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by esosa4real(m): 6:27pm On Jul 18, 2009 |
@the seeker, i really get u, if u were in ma position, what would you do  ?, not saying ur wrong, ok? |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by TheSeeker(m): 6:38pm On Jul 18, 2009 |
If I were you, I'd hang on to the relationship and expect what I said earlier to happen, so when it does, I'll not be bothered. The gospel truth is, no woman waits for a man these days especially when she finishes school before you do. Another popular rant is, women days are like flowers, glows at daytime and loses value at night; meaning that she doesn't have time on her side being a woman. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by spoilt(f): 6:42pm On Jul 18, 2009 |
medicine or no medicine, at 22 you still have a lot of time before thinking marriage. |
| Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by na2day2(m): 6:51pm On Jul 18, 2009 |
esosa4real: bros, this is gonna be a tough one, u love the girl, the girl loves u but time dont seem to love any of u. the fact of the matter is, it will take a ton of patience and serious understanding on the part of both of u (u understanding that her biological clock is ticking fast and she understanding this is not happening anytime soon, marriage that is). my point is based on these facts, u are yet to graduate, looking at 2011 all things being equal, then u both are 24 (most nigerian girls in nigeria get anxious at this age) then u have to go to medical school, so we are looking at at least 2012 (both of u will be 25, her parents by this time will be trying to knock some sense into her) then u will be off for NYSC, that makes it 2013, u guys will be 26 yrs old (she will be super anxious at this time because her friends now have kids and lots of men who have made it are throwing proposals and gifts at her beck and call), then God forbid u want to specialize, that will take u at least a year or more, so that is 2014 (u guys will be 27, for u it is ok, not so much for her) or say 2015 (u will be 28 yrs old, still young and confident about life and settling down, she will be 28 yrs old, confused and insecure that one day u will leave her for a younger chicken, can't blame her. at this time her parents are carrying her pictures to pastors, imams, babalawos etc for deliverance) and in all this, we are only hoping that u get a job in a timely fashion and ur parents wont be complaining that she is too old for u; i tell u it is a vicious circle. if u wanna be honest set the girl free, let her try her prospects and if her heart runs back to u everytime, she is urs for life to keep, u only have to defend her from ur own family(which should be a small task compared with what she will have had to go through). GOOD LUCK! u will need plenty of it and dont forget to pray about all these to the one that holds our future, God! FYI: for more advise, i need to see the color of ur $$$ and by the way, NYSC is a good test for ur relationship, trust me i know |
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