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How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter - Religion - Nairaland

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How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 5:38pm On Mar 14, 2016
"Daddy"
"Yes, Son. What can I do for you?"
"I'm tired of heaven. I want to go to Earth"

Jesus and Yahweh were walking through the Garden of Nede, on the south side of Apostle's Gate, Heaven. Like everyday in eternity, nothing had changed. Jesus and his Father continued to look ageless. Angel Gabriel and Michael were dutifully attending to the lawns while Angel Pako swept the streets of gold.

"I have told you before, Son. They broke my heart. Why would you want to go there?", Yahweh asked his Son, who was a carbon copy of himself.

From the air came a third voice, the Holy Spirit. He was formless and had no shape.

"I have a suggestion, Sirs", he said, a slight breeze blowing past as he spoke.

A look of curiosity spread across Yahweh's face. After a pause(which is like a miniminiminiminiminiminipause in eternity),he spoke..
"Tell us, we're all ears"

"Well, remember the promises you gave to your Son David, father of Solomon, the Wisest. I think it's time you kept it."

"But how, HS, how? It's impossible for me to forgive them. They will have to slaughter goats and cows for the rest of their life if they do not want my anger to rise against them. I gave that promise to men who loved me, and cherished me. Men who were ready to slaughter on my behalf. Men who kept my commands and made sure everyone followed them. You remember Moses? He bleeped up. I made sure He didn't make the Promised Land. David went and slept with that other woman, what's her name, that one he saw bathing, yes, BATHsheba.. From bathroom to bedroom, imagine, I had to kill his Son to teach him a lesson. Humans aren't worth it, they are waste of time. I regret making them.."

A tense silence enveloped them.

"There's a way to fix this, Lord." the Holy Spirit whispers...

"How?", Yahweh and Jesus turn to him, eyes opening in shock.

"One of us Has to die. One has to be The Sacrifice"

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Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 5:44pm On Mar 14, 2016
grin grin grin grin grin

You are truly talented. Why not write a kind of book

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by menesheh(m): 5:47pm On Mar 14, 2016
cheesy cheesy cheesy


I couldn't understand why whenever one start doubting stories in all these varieties of religious believes, there is no place to hold hand in the process of falling off their tracks. The more you investigate every of those stories and claims, the more they look weird, crazy, absurd, stupid, and ridiculous.

Somebody out there maybe reading through the story and feel inside his/her inner intuition that the OP is crazy, don't know and understand the bible. Basically, this is the kind of scenario when one quit recharging a delusional believe that exist within one's immediate altruistic peer.

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Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by CoolUsername: 6:01pm On Mar 14, 2016
LoJ:
grin grin grin grin grin

You are truly talented. Why not write a kind of book

Yeah, I'll almost pay money to read a book from this guy.

The only problem is that I don't know if he has the massive dedication it takes to write one. I can see that he has lots of unfinished stories.

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Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 6:05pm On Mar 14, 2016
CoolUsername:


Yeah, I'll almost pay money to read a book from this guy.

The only problem is that I don't know if he has the massive dedication it takes to write one. I can see that he has lots of unfinished stories.
As for me, I would indeed pay, to read a good book from him. He's got the talent.

But yeah, it takes time, discipline and dedication to finish a book.

2 Likes

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by CoolUsername: 6:11pm On Mar 14, 2016
LoJ:

As for me, I would indeed pay, to read a good book from him. He's got the talent.

But yeah, it takes time, discipline and dedication to finish a book.

Maybe he can make a collection of some of his short stories instead of one long one?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by johnydon22(m): 8:17pm On Mar 14, 2016
Hahahahahahaha grin Grabs a seat cheesy
Please continue this story abeg .... Don't keep us waiting naaa!!!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 8:19pm On Mar 14, 2016
Lol! Action film. Please continue.

1 Like

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by taurus25(m): 8:30pm On Mar 14, 2016
gringringrin......*dies with laughter*

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 8:57pm On Mar 14, 2016
Sonoflucifer abeg continue... You go kill person for laughter grin grin grin
Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 9:15pm On Mar 14, 2016
"Hmm, good idea, good thinking" Yahweh noted, Jesus nodding his head in agreement.

"But, eh, one very important thing, you missed.. how can WE die? Mortality is not a trait of the divine."

"Well, don't worry. I have a virgin ready." the HS replied in a nonchalant manner, like he was saying something obvious.

"What do you mean virgin?", Jesus asked, the look of incredulity on his face spreading further..

"Well, it's easy. I found one of David's descendants in a little town called Nazareth. His name is Joseph and he recently got betrothed to a young fine damsel. Her name is Mary, and she's yet to sleep with any of the village boys, unlike Sharon and Rosalyn "

Here he took a pause and watched as Yahweh and Jesus slowly digested his information.

"So this is the plan. Yahweh, you need sheep and goats to be sacrificed to satiate your anger. Unfortunately, they will never satisfy you, because they are common livestock made from earth. Earth is filthy, earth is disgusting, earth stains. We are Spirit and made of Spirit, the purest form of light. A pure sacrifice will placate you forever. "

Silence.




more silence.



lol, i don high tongue



back to story..


"A pure sacrifice must be made of Spirit, and born of Spirit. This is where Jesus comes in."

"Jesus, you'll be the sacrifice."

"Hol up hol up hol up hol up man, hol up shiiiii, you say? let me tell you sometin cos u dont know notin. Me no be no sacrifice. What is this men? Papa, what are you saying? "

The Most High looked upon himself. He saw the wisdom in the words of the Holy Spirit. He knew what must be done to save the world he now hated. He must sacrifice his Son to himself. Only then, could Earth be saved from the forces of Lucifer.

He looked with sadness upon His Son's face, cleared his throat, then spoke

"Jesus, we will do as the Holy Spirit has spoken. He will use our secret divine process(aka mystery) to send you to Earth through Mary. Upon getting to Earth, your mission would be to get to Golgotha. There a cross shall await you. Mission is scheduled to last 33 years, further information will be communicated through the HS. Be assured, on this mission you will not be going alone. I have fitted you with a few magic powers to entertain the Earth People, you will be able to heal lepers, raise the dead, multiply bread and fish, other fun stuff, i think our in-house technician Angel Micah even fit you up with WineMaker somewhere, all you need is water.."

"But Baba.."


"Say nothing Son. I'll be with you the whole journey. When you complete your mission, I'll give you a Name above all Names, a Name to which all of our enemies will bow, and you'll sit at my right side, the most comfy of places in heaven."

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Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by johnydon22(m): 9:41pm On Mar 14, 2016
Hahahahahahaha it's getting hotter ...

I could pay anything to see Jesus' face when the Holy spirit suggested he pull the sacrifice stunt.. grin

Aaaaaah Mary never knew the HS was eyeing her ooo ... Poor girl embarassed

Abeg contunu ...**Sips orijin**

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by OgundeleT(m): 11:23pm On Mar 14, 2016
sonoflucifer. ur room in hell fire has been reserved, the kind torture wey dem go give u go be like why me. just kontinu Jesus is watching you

6 Likes

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by johnydon22(m): 11:25pm On Mar 14, 2016
OgundeleT:
sonoflucifer. ur room in hell fire has been reserved, the kind torture wey dem go give u go be like why me. just kontinu Jesus is watching you

grin grin grin

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by texanomaly(f): 5:11am On Mar 15, 2016
Hmmm...
Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by ichommy(m): 6:17am On Mar 15, 2016
OgundeleT:
sonoflucifer. ur room in hell fire has been reserved, the kind torture wey dem go give u go be like why me. just kontinu Jesus is watching you

grin

1 Like

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Krystalzkris(f): 7:01am On Mar 15, 2016
lol.. Its getting sweeeter,buh we girls eyaf suffer sha... See how Mary dey her own nd dem boys (HS nd jesus nd him papa) don dey plan for her.. Oya sonoflucifer,come nd continue...

6 Likes

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by CltrAltDelicious(m): 7:27am On Mar 15, 2016
grin grin grin
Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by stonemasonn: 8:15am On Mar 15, 2016
I have fitted you with a few magic powers to entertain the Earth People, you will be able to heal lepers, raise the dead, multiply bread and fish, other fun stuff, i think our in-house technician Angel Micah even fit you up with WineMaker somewhere, all you need is water.."



Lol another title for Jesus, "Jesus the entertainer".

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 2:00pm On Mar 15, 2016
LoJ:
grin grin grin grin grin
You are truly talented. Why not write a kind of book

CoolUsername:

The only problem is that I don't know if he has the massive dedication it takes to write one. I can see that he has lots of unfinished stories.
embarassed
Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by johnydon22(m): 2:43pm On Mar 15, 2016
sonOfLucifer:


embarassed
Continue Joooooooooor angry

1 Like

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by HCpaul(m): 3:42pm On Mar 15, 2016
The bible is a mere story to those that are unsaved, but the holy bible is hidden from the ordinary eyes.


Atheist have access to bible but not to holy bible.
Holy bible are not sold in the market, not available in the bookstore, but resides in the heart of saints and in the lips of the believers.


The story above is an expression of the bible and not holy bible.

I am not decieved and not ignorant of satanic devices.



Eternity will judge.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 5:27pm On Mar 15, 2016
It was night time in Bethlehem and all were asleep. Or, maybe not all.

Across the field located on the outskirts of the village strode two figures. One looked masculine and seemed to be very agitated. The other was feminine... and seemed to be following the other quickly behind..

"Go home, Mary. GO home and tell your parents what you have done", the man said, the anger in his voice palpable.

"But baby, I'm telling you the truth. I didn't sleep with any one, I never slept with anyone", the girl replied, her voice sounding weak and laden with pain.

"Do you take me for a fool? I treated you like a gentleman. I might be man of little means, but I did my best to give you a good life. I paid your bride price just two weeks ago, and this is how you repay me?"..

"Booboo, it's not like that.. let me explain, please", Mary cried out...

"Mary, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. Go home to your parents, I'm not ready to take care of a baby now, find whoever is responsible for that pregnancy. It's over, go home. "

And Mary watched as her fiance mounted his donkey and rode off into the darkness..

-------------------------------------------- back in heaven ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Phew, that was some intense shit", Angel Micah said to Vice-Angel Arrow as they watched everything from Heaven's Earth Observatory.
"Yeah, we need to report to HS before things go out of control. It's very important for the mission that Joseph and Mary remain a couple. Sharon and Rosaly no dey dull o.."

A few minutes later, Angel Micah was heading towards earth at full speed. He had to deliver a message to Joseph quickly, before daybreak.



"Where am I?", Joseph asked.
"This is a vision, Joseph", Angel Micah replied. They were in Joseph's dream and, well, Micah was a little disappointed. Joseph's dream world was made of wood and carpentry tools. He obviously took his profession quite seriously.

"I'm here to deliver a message from the Most High, he who made a promise to your ancestor David. Fear not, your woman Mary has been faithful to you. The Holy Spirit CAME upon her, and deposited within her a seed. You will call him Jesus, keep that in mind. Take care of him as you would take care of your own Son"

"Aaah, but you should have told me first now..", Joseph said, overcoming his initial fears.

"Sorry,was a little mix-up, please make up with Mary as soon as possible. She needs your love and support through this trying times. Besides, you two make a really happy couple. Take care of Baby Jesus, He's the hope of the World, the new Covenant. "

"I will Lord, I will..." Joseph repeated as the dream slowly faded and reality came into focus....

15 Likes 6 Shares

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by UncleSnr(m): 5:31pm On Mar 15, 2016
HCpaul:
The bible is a mere story to those that are unsaved, but the holy bible is hidden from the ordinary eyes.


Atheist have access to bible but not to holy bible.
Holy bible are not sold in the market, not available in the bookstore, but resides in the heart of saints and in the lips of the believers.


The story above is an expression of the bible and not holy bible.

I am not decieved and not ignorant of satanic devices.



Eternity will judge.
Congrats, clap for yourself.

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 5:39pm On Mar 15, 2016
sonOfLucifer:
...
grin grin grin

Oya Johnydon22 give me some of your Orijin grin Let me sit down and read.

Sukkot, did you read tongue

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Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by sukkot: 6:01pm On Mar 15, 2016
LoJ:

grin grin grin

Oya Johnydon22 give me some of your Orijin grin Let me sit down and read.

Sukkot, did you read tongue
quite an enthralling read cry





































NOT grin

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Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 6:06pm On Mar 15, 2016
sukkot:
...
Brah, which picture is it naa in your dp What does it represent? Care to explain?

Why did you stop opening those your informative threads like in the buzugee days? You are now going to and fro abusing ndigbo angry

Hey How did it finish with SirShymexx grin grin grin
Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by sukkot: 6:21pm On Mar 15, 2016
LoJ:

Brah, which picture is it naa in your dp What does it represent? Care to explain?

Why did you stop opening those your informative threads like in the buzugee days? You are now going to and fro abusing ndigbo angry

Hey How did it finish with SirShymexx grin grin grin

The picture represents the mazzaroth aka the zodiac

JOB 38 VS 32 Canst thou bring forth Mazzaroth in his season? or canst thou guide Arcturus with his sons?

Gods time clock is the zodiac. the prophets were skilled astro-theologists cuz in the stars and nebulas and black holes and asterixes and comets and asteroids and galaxies and planets and centaurs and the sun and moon and luna and solar eclipses and the zodiac are all the answers to whats happening down below. as above so below. the mazzaroth is being brought forth.


why i stopped opening threads ? kinda got tired of opening threads cuz then you have to deal with too many naysayers and haters and scoffers etc etc lol. i rather troll on someone elses thread now as opposed to entertain trolls on my thread. keep in my my trolling is never opposing the thread starter cuz you know the saying ' do unto others what you will like them do to you '


with Sirshymexx, lol i thought my nigga was a real gangsta who can give and receive jokes like i can. see i like to dish out and receive jokes- like you can joke about anything with me and i will take it as a joke - you can talk about my parents or whatever and i will take it as a joke. thats just my nature. i am happy go lucky. thought the nigga was the same, turns out the nigga is as sensitive as a female. now i gotta walk on eggshells around this nigga so his feelings dont get hurt lol so i reckon hey, rather than offend the nigga let me reduce the number of posts i make to him cuz i may say something that offends him and i aint tryna offend nobody. he already said i offended him 3 times. so he has a tab on my offence to him grin grin

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Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 6:27pm On Mar 15, 2016
sukkot:

with Sirshymexx, lol i thought my nigga was a real gangsta who can give and receive jokes like i can. see i like to dish out and receive jokes- like you can joke about anything with me and i will take it as a joke - you can talk about my parents or whatever and i will take it as a joke. thats just my nature. i am happy go lucky. thought the nigga was the same, turns out the nigga is as sensitive as a female. now i gotta walk on eggshells around this nigga so his feelings dont get hurt lol so i reckon hey, rather than offend the nigga let me reduce the number of posts i make to him cuz i may say something that offends him and i aint tryna offend nobody. he already said i offended him 3 times. so he has a tab on my offence to him grin grin
Bro, you need Satan in your life.. grin grin

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Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by sukkot: 6:32pm On Mar 15, 2016
sonOfLucifer:

Bro, you need Satan in your life.. grin grin
i already have satan in my life. i am tryna suppress him with Jesus. everybody got satan in their life. even peter the apostle was told ' get behind me satan '. so satan is no stranger here. he always in my ear whispering nonsense but the Christ on the other shoulder is always tryna counter him. in fact i believe Christ is winning the battle as we speak undecided grin
Re: How Jesus Died For Our Sins : The Road To Easter by Nobody: 6:34pm On Mar 15, 2016
sukkot:
i already have satan in my life. i am tryna suppress him with Jesus. everybody got satan in their life. even peter the apostle was told ' get behind me satan '. so satan is no stranger here. he always in my ear whispering nonsense but the Christ on the other shoulder is always tryna counter him. in fact i believe Christ is winning the battle as we speak undecided grin
Analice, your Aristotle says you have some Satan in you. grin

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