Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,759,468 members, 6,560,345 topics. Date: Thursday, 28 October 2021 at 12:43 PM

Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! (41231 Views)

Michael Jackson Fathers Nani Of Manchester United. / Michael Jackson Look-alike Spotted In Akwa Ibom / Dirty Jokes: The Bride Tells Her Husband (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (Reply) (Go Down)

Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 9:36am On Jul 21, 2009
There is always humour, even in death and since I do not want to break with tradition here are a collection of MJ Jokes as found across the Internet.

Enjoy or be angry, whatever grin grin grin



Since Michael Jackson's death hundreds of children have gathered at the gates of Neverland. Police have said that they will let them out once they find a locksmith.  grin

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave little boys' bedrooms with empty sacks.  grin grin

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What with Lewis Hamilton winning the F1 world championship, Barack Obama being president of the USA, Will Smith being the world's highest paid actor and Tiger Woods being the world's best golfer, it has never been cooler to be black.

Poor old Michael Jackson must be kicking himself.  grin grin grin

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What's got 8 legs and doesn't rape children?

The Jackson 4.   grin grin

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Upon hearing the news of Michael Jackson's death, mourning fans released a white dove in his honour. Well, it was actually a blackbird, but with a rare skin condition,    grin grin grin

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

How do you know when it's bedtime in Michael Jackson's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.  grin grin

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Michael Jackson has died ladies and gentlemen.
I don't know who or what you all blame for this, his doctor or stress maybe,

All I can say is…

Don't blame it on sunshine
Don't blame it on moonlight
Don't blame it on good times
Blame it on the boogie.

☻/
/▌
/
THANKS BOOGIE!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Michael Jackson meets a young boy while walking around Neverland Ranch.

"Would you like to see some magic?" asks Michael.

"Sure" says the lad.

"Well for this trick you need to turn around, drop your pants and bend over." says Michael.

So the lad turns around, drops his pants and bends over. Michael stands behind him and asks, "Can you feel my finger going up your ass?"

"I can." replies the lad.

Michael then waves both hands in front of the lad and shouts, "MAGIC!"  grin grin grin

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A little boy came home from school and said, "Dad, is God a man or a woman?"
"He is both son, male and female," he replied.
"Is he black or white?" he asked.
"Again, he is both black and white," the father replied.
"Well, is he gay or straight then?" asked the kid.
"Again, God is both gay and straight," he said.
"Dad, is God, Michael Jackson?"  grin grin grin

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Michael Jackson, may he rest in peace, he touched generations,  It's a shame that they were underage and this was done against their will.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PlayStation PS3?

Nothing; they're both plastic, they both come in black and white, and they both get turned on by kids.
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 9:44am On Jul 21, 2009
For Sale; single white glove , slightly soiled index finger grin grin

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon; Michael Jackson raped children.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Michael Jackson, the Pope and a bunch of kids are on a plane.

Suddenly the plane becomes out of control and is on course to crash.

"Here, there are two parachutes," said the Pope.

"What about the kids?" replied Jacko.

"Bleep the kids," said the Pope.

To this, Jacko said, "Have we got time?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You know that Michael really is dead, when your 5-year-old son wakes you up at night claiming that he just got 'touched by an angel'. grin grin

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I got upset when Janet Jackson finished speaking at Michael Jackson's Tribute.
I thought she was going to get her breasts out again. grin grin grin

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

After learning of the possible closure of his Neverland Ranch, Michael Jackson has told of his intention to build a brand new dinosaur theme park. He's promised that every kid who visits will leave with a megasoreass.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's official that Bubbles is now the second richest monkey in the world,

, second only to Didier Drogba grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 10:00am On Jul 21, 2009
My friend is so ugly that when he got the chance to go to Neverland as a kid, Michael Jackson made him sleep in his own bed! grin grin grin grin
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 10:03am On Jul 21, 2009
What has the Chelsea goalkeeper and Michael Jackson got in common?

They both wear gloves for no apparent reason. grin grin grin
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by romsky: 10:06am On Jul 21, 2009
sick indeed
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by clemcykul(f): 10:23am On Jul 21, 2009
why michael!

bloodie hater!

sick joke from a hatred incensed poster
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 11:21am On Jul 21, 2009
What are Michael Jackson and Farah Faucet getting for Christmas?

PATRICK SWAYZE grin grin

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Alex Ferguson?

Alex Ferguson will still be playing Giggs in August!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What does Michael Jackson have in common with caviar? ,

They both cum on little white crackers.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What's the difference between Janet jackson and the England cricket team?

England will never get a hold of The Ashes grin grin grin

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Micheal jackson died of a broken heart when he found out BOYS TO MEN were a band not a delivery service grin grin

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

McDonalds came out with a new sandwich to pay tribute to the king of pop, the McJackson, Its 50 year old meat in between 10 year old buns!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A Powerful Message from Stevie Wonder On Michael Jackson’s Death… , , … … , …, , . . … . . . . . , . , …. , , . … , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . , . . … , . . . , , . , , , , , , , , , , , , , . . , , . , . . , . . . , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . , , . , , , . . . . . , , … , , , , , , , , , Deep stuff, eh? I nearly cried when he said “. , . . . , , … , , . , , ”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

There are reports now that blanket is the only child of Michael Jackson's that has his DNA in him. the reason being blanket was the only one that would swallow.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The fact that the president wasn't at Michael Jacksons funural proves once and for all that Obama does not care about white people. grin grin grin
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 11:25am On Jul 21, 2009
Michael Jackson's Last Words: "Take me to the children's hospital!" grin grin
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 11:30am On Jul 21, 2009
Proof that Michael Jackson was a Nigerian!

He took everyone's money and disapeared! grin grin grin
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 11:31am On Jul 21, 2009
Micheal Jackson hasn't been this stiff since high school musical came out grin grin grin
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 11:36am On Jul 21, 2009
What's this?: _________________________________________________________________




Michael Jackson's EKG. grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by blissieng(f): 11:37am On Jul 21, 2009
Thor

U must think u r absolutely funny.

I wonder why someone with common sense would think its a joke to make jest of a dead person(n died recentlt too!). I guess that sense is not so common after all!

Whether or not the joke was inspired/written by someone else, we shouldnt promote it.
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by clemcykul(f): 12:05pm On Jul 21, 2009
opens tho's head to check if there exist common sense therein but to my utter most shock it was filled wit sawdust!
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by blissieng(f): 12:21pm On Jul 21, 2009
bingo!

that's y he's been misbehaving.
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by romsky: 2:11pm On Jul 21, 2009
even the gods will reject such a sacrifice that has sawdust as sense organ
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by busybody20: 2:29pm On Jul 21, 2009
@ thor,

All ya jokes doesnt make sense! tongue tongue

I used to respect u until i saw dis. . . May God have mercy on u . .

Sick Thor Jokes
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by busybody20: 2:31pm On Jul 21, 2009
blissieng:

Thor

U must think u r absolutely funny.

I wonder why someone with common sense would think its a joke to make jest of a dead person(n died recentlt too!). I guess that sense is not so common after all!

Whether or not the joke was inspired/written by someone else, we shouldnt promote it.


GBAM!!!!!!!!! I wonder also oooo.
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by SeanT21(f): 1:25am On Jul 22, 2009
Its so sad to see that a man in his 30's can stoop so LOOOOOWWW!~~!!SAD INDEED!!
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by dani1luv: 7:17am On Jul 22, 2009
angry
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by blissieng(f): 12:20pm On Jul 22, 2009
na only frown u fit frown?
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by clemcykul(f): 12:26pm On Jul 22, 2009
he is speechless.

how are u bliss?
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by blissieng(f): 12:27pm On Jul 22, 2009
I'm great oh apart from the late nights. . . which will cont. thru the week.

God dey sha.
grin

How body?
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 4:09pm On Jul 22, 2009
Q: What was the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Q: How could you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date?
A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.

Q: Who did Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″?
A: Two 5 year olds.

Q: How did Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.

Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.

Q: What’s brown and was often found in a baby’s nappy?
A: Michael Jackson’s hand.

Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. – you know in a few years they’ll probably change his name to: The Child Formerly Known as Michael Jackson’s Baby.
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by romsky: 4:13pm On Jul 22, 2009
from replies here d little sense u av ought to xplain wat pipul will say about u once u die

u'll be remembered as being a nuisance & an accuser of the brethren dat has no conscience
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 4:18pm On Jul 22, 2009
Q: What's was white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand !!

Q: Why were Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

Q: What's was the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?
A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson got burnt on Pepsi!

Q:What did Michael Jackson & Michael Jordan have in common?
A:They both play ball in the Minor League.
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by blissieng(f): 4:21pm On Jul 22, 2009
If to say Dani dey do him work, all this nonsense for no dey happen.

Matter of fact, I think dis guy should be ignored! seeing that he has used his brain to wipe his arse. It's no wonder acts like he's metally handicapped,


more so, he'll prove it by coming back n posting same rubbish. from what I heard only dogs do that.
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 4:24pm On Jul 22, 2009
Q. What's the hardest stain to get out of little boy's underpants?
A. MJ's make-up

Q. How did we know MJ was guilty?
A. Because he's been fingered by several children.

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?
A: "Don't let your son go down on me."

Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by busybody20: 4:25pm On Jul 22, 2009
Where is seun and dani1luv d moderators when u need them?
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 4:30pm On Jul 22, 2009
grin After Michael Jacksons sudden death Gary Glitter has offered to cover some of his dates, Henry aged 10, William aged 12 and Joel aged 13,   

grin Just read his funeral arrangements, he’ll be melted down & made into plastic toys. That way kids will play with him for a change

grin I genuinely feel sorry for Michael Jackson ’s family. The decision to bury, cremate or recycle cannot be an easy choice to make

grin There was news that doctor’s were taking bets on what colour MJ’s rooster is. All bets are now off as pediatrician’s have been reported to have inside information

grin I heard they are having to double the seating at Micheal’s funerals because children under 12 have to be accompanied by an adult 

grin Condolences to the Jackson family, but could i also remind you that collection day for recyclable plastics is Monday.

grin Michael Jacksons last wish was to be cremated and his ashes put into an etch-a-sketch so kids could still play with him.

grin Conformation just came through that Michael Jackson died of food poisoning. Apparently he ate some 12 year old nuts.


grin Reports that Michael Jackson died of a heart attack are incorrect.In fact he went to the childrens hospital and had a stroke.

grin When ambulance officers arrived at MJ’s home they found class A drugs in the kitchen, and Class 4B in his bedroom.

grin Madonna has paid her respects to the jackson family and wants to know how much they want for the kids.

grin All MJ’s upcoming dates are now cancelled, including John aged 5, and Ryan aged 9.

grin What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett?……about 3 hours.

Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by blissieng(f): 4:38pm On Jul 22, 2009
Thor,

I wonder how did u get that bruise on ya lips?
Musta hurt, watch ya back though. . . make u no go loose teeth during the next one.

I no blame u sha, na Dani wey dey get belle n deliver every 4 days.
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by busybody20: 4:45pm On Jul 22, 2009
i doubt if the reply to moderator button is working? undecided undecided
Re: Michael Jackson Jokes :-) The Ultimate Edition! - Sick Warning!!!! by Thor(m): 5:04pm On Jul 22, 2009
grin New just in, paramedics did manage to revive Michael Jackson on the hospital trolley, untill he was wheeled past the childrens ward the he went stiff again.

grin Gary Glitter has just made a world record Ebay bid for Michael Jackson's computer!


grin doctors said that time of death , due to facial decomposing, must have been 6 months ago.

grin I just bought a new car stereo, When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "fucking kids!", and it played Michael Jackson.

(1) (2) (Reply)

Applying For Lai Mohammed's Masquerade Job (Pics) / Two Abuja High Class Chicks Fighting In Public / Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 118
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.