.:
1... Many people are not there to bag just one degree but two. A degree in their respective discipline and secondly but most importantly, the main degree that brought them to school -- BSC BG which stands for "Bachelor of Beg Beg".

That was how one strange guy ive never met in my entire life before trekked almost 50km all the way from( i suspect Hall 3) to ask for the crayfish he gave me to keep for him in hall 4.
I just saw somebody with an agbada abi na singlet sef barge into our room and went straight to the point without much ado "I dey look for crayfish". I didn't answer him, I continued with what I was doing.
He now tapped me, "Bros, abeg you get crayfish wey you no dey use again"?

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell him that the last time I saw Crayfish was in a Nollywood movie but behaved myself and calmly told him no.
Or is it the day one guy saw me frying egg while passing the hall way and went to buy bread on me and my egg's behalf.
I was about bringing down my carefully fried one-quater egg from the fire when I saw somebody at the door with fresh bread smiling.
Him: "Chairmoooo" raising both hands up, "I hail oh. How E wan be na"?
Me: Frowning my face "How wetin wan be"?
Him: Pointing at my egg and waiving his bread "I just say make we align"
Me: "Bros, abeg no vex. No be me get am. Na my roommate I help fry the egg.

He had this disappointed look on his face like I betrayed him or something, stared at the egg with this lustfull passionate gaze that at a point, I had to check if he had already mentally eaten my egg and left an illusion in the fry pan for me cos things dey happen these days.I was relieved when I scanned his lips and found no oil. He finished God knows what he was doing and left.

2... You ll learn how to cook pretty much everything with anything so far you have these three ingredients--kerosene, water, and hunger.

I came-in one day only to find my roommate preparing what he called "Water soup" and its really very simple to prepare. Put water on fire, allow it to boil, add salt, maggi, pepper and red oil shikena. I thought he was joking not until I saw him making eba for his alleged "water-soup" I knew he was really serious. I thought I had seen it all not until i went to visit my friend and saw his roomate eating Eba with what appeared to be "Beans porridge". I shock.

3... You ll learn that Nigerians are very very co-operative in times of need. It is only in the hostel you ll see somebody cooking one cup of rice, just one cup of rice and you ll be like

"My guy how far! that thing gggg" and just before you add "go reach me"?, he reads your mind and replies

"Guy, na 50 people contribute for this rice. The first 20 people bring ninety seed of rice each, 5 bring one-one teaspoon of red oil each, another 10 people bring 0.05 micro-grams of salt which in total weighed 0.5micro milligrams collectively, 8 people join had bring one cube of maggi, 6 people bring kerosene and na my stove we dey use.

4... You ll learn to be stingy. When I started my undergraduate journey, I was very benevolent. I was giving out things, food stuffs, provision and everything to friends and my roomates not until my village people decided to leave me alone for a while and my eyes became open like Adam and eve.

How many times I don make Eba wey my Garri wey remain small pass sachet cowbell? How many time I don drink tea wey milk wey remain no plenty pass the one wey dey old woman br.east?

Ladies and gentlemen, that was when I realised that to survive in the hostel, one has to be skinflint. Nowadays, even if you catch me dey fetch rice from my cupboard, I go tell you say na chinese beans and if the person say "but no be rice I dey see oh"? . I go reply"Guy, you get eye problem".

When you got to Rome, behave like the romans. If you cant beat them, joim them.

5... You ll learn that the normal way to use the the toilet is the abnormal way to use the toilet. I remember the first time I set foot inside the Hostel toilet, I ran out like a demon chased by the holy ghost. I see shit, the shit wey been dey worry me run leave me. lol .

Na only hostel you go see shiit wey only water no fit flush except you mix am with gravel. shuoo.
It is only in the hostel person go use shiit take write "Jasper was here" for toilet bowl & still wonder why things are not working well in his life.

So when i asked my roomates if it was ok to use the bowl the normal way by sitting on it since the cleaners just washed it, they looked at me like an alien that just landed from Mars and burst out laughing. I later figured how to use it "safely" without putting my bum bum at the risk of contacting God knows what virus.

Some people do what we call " stand,drop and dodge" cos you dont want that water to touch ya... No need to explain this one, its self explanatory.

Some do what we call "Spider man". Where you literally climb in-between two walls with both hands and legs then deposit from a safe distance.. Just picture how Perter Parker will climb in between two narrow walls without his web. Lmao

Some do the "Yoga style". Only difference is you are not actually sitting on the bowl but standing on it with both hands stretched forward and you can close ur eyes if you be mumu. But Pps and pls be very careful cos this style is extremely dangerous and requires alot of stamina cos if your village people distract you a lil bit & you loose balance you ll be in deep shiit, literally.

6... You ll learn how to tolerate people. I had a room all to myself at home but things changed the day I stepped foot into hall 4. You just came back from night class all tired and want to sleep but you cant cos your roomate thinks 2am is the right time to cook beans & kill everybody with heat. Adekunle, my God will judge you.

It is when you want to read that your roomate suddenly feels the urge to test how loud his phone's speakers are. You no fit talk cos afterall, na im space he dey.

Somebody will pollute the air while you're eating and if you complain they'll say "if you no wan see bad thing, close your eyes". "If you no wan hear gossip, close your ear". "If you no wan smell my mess, close your nose" lwkmd...

7... You ll learn how to Aersene Wenger money, food stuff, everything. For those of you who don't watch football, Arsene wenger means "manage" or better still, "economise". When I first gained admission, I was a big boy. I was eating GT foods anyhow, buying meat pie of 250 everyday with soft drinks to wash it down just for lunch. Na when one day hungry nearly make me use Ebelebo leaf (Umbrella fruit aka Almond) take cook soup na im i realise say boys gats adjust or na die .

Na for only hostel you go see where person dey use 50naira take cook soup with meat. Yes, with meat. Dont ask me how.

Do you know you can drink 2 tea-spoons of garri and be satisfied so far you have the patience to allow it rise to its full potential after soaking?

8... You ll learn that despite the fact that the hostel has its challenges,up & downs,its a once in a lifetime experience that teaches alot of invaluable life lessons that will no doubt come in handy in the nearest future. Plus you get to meet very interesting people and funny characters.

)

Source:Ksslib .. Repping the greatest #Uniben#

Hahaha ha... This got me laughing in my room like an alien!

Noteded

ify2nyce:
Noteded

Chai, oga fear God na, because of Fp u quickly invent the word "noteded"

RobinHez:
Hahaha ha... This got me laughing in my room like an alien!

Lol. Na hostel life be that oh.

Oya make una come... na here e dey happen!

Cc Barnacle, Fabzgrace, Venus007 (Nddc babe... ) SwagkingDope, Yonddaime, Nolio, Imdharay / dharay99, Roastedcorn, Ebayray

And the boss himself Lalasticlala

Ksslib:

Lol. Na hostel life be that oh.

Thank God for keeping me at Uselu

this tin two funny abeg

Hall 4 boys ever representing! who remembers this
"Who get bread? I get beans!" Naijaboiy, Sylvalord Oliviaarims Carlson001 Blueto et al.

MosquitoLaps:
Hall 4 boys ever representing!
who remembers this

"Who get bread? I get beans!"
Naijaboiy, Sylvalord Oliviaarims Carlson001 Blueto et al.

Lol. I'm not a guy o. But,yea...everybody knows the reputation of Hall 4 boys

ImDharay:

who get beans, i get plate....

Hehheheh

Lmao .
MrWhaley, I've seen ur handiwork in hall 4...

Thank God I'm coming from home.

so i am here



ksslib is on frontpage. i knew it was coming

Ebayray:
Lmao .

MrWhaley, I've seen ur handiwork in hall 4...


Thank God I'm coming from home.

Lols! Thank God there's a place like Hall 4 in Uniben. Else,I wouldn't have learnt the financial and nutritional values of Beans!
#IAmAHallFourBrethren.

MrWhaley:

Lols! Thank God there's a place like Hall 4 in Uniben. Else,I wouldn't have learnt the financial and nutritional values of Beans!
#IAmAHallFourBrethren.

Lolz, u're crazy, I swear

Very true and funny

True but funny!

Op, i acknowledge your creativity. But the whole of this boils down to poverty, bad governance and indisciple among the students. I still cant figure out why a student should make use of the toilet without flushing even though there is water in excess. is that wickedness or part of the fun?
lol.. I had this guy in my room back then who will always be like 'can you please borrow me some soup?' i wonder when soup turned an object to be borrowed. The guy actually succeeded in stopping me from cooking as I'm not the type to say 'no' to people's demand
The hostel is just another world on its own

in my hostel then.,you have to take your shoe to the bathroom,else someone will wear it to lectures before you come out of the bathroom.

using your trouser as pillow,else money fit miss for your pocket.

I rep Hall 4 from my 100lvl till date, so many experiences....the one that irks me most is "who get garri I get sugar" and some peeps will reply by saying them lock Anao toilet ni? (LMAO)

N.B - Prof. Anao was Uniben V.C sometimes ago.

Above all Hall 4 thought me how to cook and how to tolerate people.

"Hall4lawbasement"......

RobinHez:
Oya make una come... na here e dey happen!

Cc Barn acle, Fab zgrace, Venus007 (Nddc babe... ) Swagking Dope, Yon ddaime, N olio, Imd haray / dharay 99, Roas tedcorn, E bayray

And the boss himself Lal asticlala

Yomieluv:
in my hostel then.,you have to take your shoe to the bathroom,else someone will wear it to lectures before you come out of the bathroom.

using your trouser as pillow,else money fit miss for your pocket.

.... *dies*

So Funny

who said I won't go to school

lol funny...
very funny
too "funnied"
lol..

Lolzzzz.....so so so true. Girls hostel hmmmm I no fit shout

Na Hostel sure pass oo.

one wey dey tire me pass na the morning criers.... veeeerryy early in the morning U go dey hear"wake up wake up, wake up for morning devotion"

buhahaha, this shit really got me rolling on the floor. School life.
Love the way you write too...nice one.

buhahaha, this sh¡t really got me rolling on the floor. School life.

Love the way you write too...nice one.