Oyin93:
yes,y?

Sugarhugs:

Try to add up weight for your own sake, you don't look good at all.

Oyin93:
yes,y?

Hurklan:
And u think say, na update u drop abi...

emyblinkx:


OK I get it now,,u are waiting for the real writer to update so you will copy and paste

liljboy:
I talk am..... mtchew, girls ehhhhh nonchenche people, must she intrude?... always forming 'woman of the house'. Two grown asss men go dey talk and you no go wait make them finish before you chook mouth...... #she get luck say barca later win this night, I for rain better abuse on top her head

hfinest1:
following


Hurklan eniqurl dalyjay pinkycute Ritababe cherrybrown evathyst tunery004 yinks89 liljboy call others

kennosklint:
Rubbish.

class captain:
Mainland/iphekitan
i am seriously enjoying your story.. See as u dey carry people along ...
I don follow u for back....we gats work on sumfin together boss..
Nice one so far

Oyin93:

n u think u are in d right position to tell me that?

Sugarhugs:


Take it or leave it.

Sugarhugs:
You are too slim like you don't eat at all!

Sugarhugs:


God. Are you the one on your dp?

Sugarhugs:


Take it or leave it.

DrTims:
Sugar hug, are u in Lagos??

chijioke17:
class captain off comment..... it is a ghen ghen smtn o

Ollyfad:
uhmmm....... frank comment bro....dis is one of d worst story presentation av had d misfortune of reading and i only took d pains to read tru bcus u gave me a mention and i will tell u y i said dat.
first, d work is totally not edited. u don't type widout editing ur typed work...no one does dat.
second, m avin a hard tym dcidin if its prose or drama.
third, ur use of d pidgin english does not even as much as portray a good grab of d language. bliv dat bcus i spend 90% of my talking tym speaking pidgin....in fact except m angry, i dont seem to be able to communicate in english.
at d beginning of ur work u gave d excuse of being a science student and to me dats no excuse. let me limit dis to nairaland....av read really great stories written by science students. bcus u av made ur passion for writing known by not jst taking d big step of putting pen to paper (sumtin av neva done) and going fuda to update regularly, i wuld give u dis piece of advise..... u cant b a writer if u are not a reader. u can only write after u must av read and even done sum research on wat u want to write and how u want to ryt. i wuld suggest sum authors wit peculiar rytin style on nairaland especially those dat ryt from d first person point of view. read authors lyk larrysun, princesa, kayemjay, frank317, repogirl, mazi omenuko and most especially, d author of african nerd....redmosquito. he also wrote in pidgin and english and he is a trained doctor in case u r wondering how he culd b so gud. u can also read flow stories too especially ibo boy wey like yoruba. it will really hlp u in improving ur writing skill i.e if u r serious abt writing. i hope ur next update will be beta constructed and articulate bcus i cwiuzly bliv ryt now, all u r doing is murdering wat suld av been a really great and adventurous story wit bad presentation.
N.B: i hope u will take dis criticism as fair enof and improve on ur writing skill for ur own gud, ur story's gud and d gud of ur audience. especially if u want literature lovers and not story by d moonlight lovers to take u cwiuzly. keep up d courage bro.....every wole soyinka or chinua achebe have a beginning story to tell