Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. - Family - Nairaland
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| Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by icedfire(m): 11:43am On Mar 30, 2016 |
I will try as much as possible to abridge this story. We (father, mother and two siblings) moved to our own house in 2008. And the alhaja in the next compound who sells water from her borehole decided to give us water for free . Everything has been going on smoothly until last week when my sister came back from Canada and said she want us to have our own borehole in the compound. But that wasn't all, she also want to open the water to the public for free, she said water should not be sold . Now the problem is, my mum doesn't support that because it will mean alhaja will be out of business and she has given us water for free for the past 8years. Mum doesn't even want a borehole altogether. She is very close to alhaja. Dad on the other hand wants the borehole but he doesn't want the water to be open to the public. He feels my sister might have a political ambition (which I doubt! and he is not comfortable with that. My younger brother is on my sisters side, he feels people around will be happy to fetch water for free My sister is adamant, she said she doesn't mind buying a land close to our house if my parents refuses. According to her, people around are really suffering.. My opinion, am on the fence, I would love the borehole in our compound though. Nairalanders, I need your opinion on this. No insult please. Cc royalroy, lalasticla, seun.. password: snake, adejumoke tonto, p square, 1 Like |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by biodunpro(m): 12:03pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
if I wir you...ild go wit ur dad also. |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by Cholls(m): 12:05pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
[quote author=icedfire post=44245700]"My sister is adamant, she said she doesn't mind buying a land close to our house if my parents refuses. According to her, people around are really suffering.." [quote] my sister she's an inconsiderate fool.........let her get her own land to do whatever she wishes........ah! ah!!. 1 Like |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by whitecloth: 12:13pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
.. am coming |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by greatgod2012(f): 12:21pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
I'm this age and era, people still buy water? Well, @op, I can do what your sister want to do. People are suffering and your sister want to alleviate their sufferings, and you're here sitting on the fence. The only thing is that, the public will have access to it maybe once or twice in a week to give room for the alhaja to do as she likes. 4 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by Nobody: 12:37pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
Ok  |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by Kosigift(f): 12:47pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
The circumstance get as e be especially if the said borehole is the only/major source of income Alhaja has. Well, to avoid her goodness turning sour.. Why don't she discuss her intentions with the Alhaja.. She fit even use d money wey she wan take dig borehole give Alhaja make she start another business and then make Alhaja's borehole water, free for all  . If the woman no like the idea, she can go ahead and do exactly what she has in mind. By doing this, nobody will read her actions as being ungrateful!12 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by bukatyne(f): 1:36pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
What are her plans for Alhaja as she wants to close down her business? 6 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by yetseyi(f): 5:01pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
Theres nothing wrong having the bore hole and giving people for free in an ideal situation but because of the circumstances surrounding this your dads option will be better. Alajas business will be closed down and considering the fact that she has saved your family water costs for some years its better to just do the borehole alone. Its because that your sister is not staying in Nigeria that's why she's thinking that way. Make her understand that this is naija. Wisdom is needed, no need to create avoidable friend-enemies. 9 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by crackhaus: 5:43pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
I guess your sister is one of those people with this personality type - doing something for someone automatically makes her feel she can dictate how the person uses it. Let me tell you a personal story: Having a source of water (borehole in this case) in one's compound and opting to let anyone who wishes to fetch it go ahead and do that when they want, is a very good gesture...very very good gesture. However there are two problems that can arise with this; 1. Placing the control valve inside the compound while the outlet remains outside means that everytime someone needs to get some little water, they will have to ring/knock and notify someone from within the premises to open it. This can become very disturbing, intrusive, and tiring with time. 2. Placing the control valve on the outside with no controls within the premises means that everyone will have access to the water at all times. This also means that you will have to continuously pump water into your tanks because humans will always be humans... Once people know they can get the water anytime they feel like, they will get it whenever they feel like at any damn time....some miscreants might even outrightly forget to turn it off when they're done or simply just let their cans overfill and spill everywhere, effectively messing up the surrounding with water. Your sister really should just do the borehole and not be stuck on letting everyone get it for free... If she's feeling very charitable, she could as well dig boreholes for all the residents so everybody can mind their business. Leave Alhaja to her water business along with the problems associated with it. 8 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by oluafam: 10:15pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
op, u guys should just save urselves the stress. U will continuously change the water valve. Ungrateful and careless people are everywhere, they'll so much frustrate you that u will forget the word kindness. Tell your sister not to bother. This is naija, many of us are ungrateful. Speaking from experience 4 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by Swissheart(f): 10:36pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
Hmmn.... . I agree with your Dad. Provide water for yourself. Let your neighbor continue with her business. Wisdom is profitable to man. 11 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by jabojafa(m): 2:56am On Mar 31, 2016 |
bukatyne:she is nt closing down alhaja business ooh. Hv u nt seen 5ppl selling d same tin on d same street? 2 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by jabojafa(m): 3:17am On Mar 31, 2016 |
your sister plan is golden and d reason why God blesses us primarily is to to help others. Providing free water for d neighbour wud nt make d Alhaja go out of business. Ask my ibo bros dt sell in d market dem go tell u. You ppl can decide to use one GP tank to feed d neighbour once a day either morning or evening. Onces d water in dt tank meant to feed d public finishes u guys maynt pump it for dt dat till d next day, dt way Alhaja can still sell. Also ur parents shd also thank Alhaja for her kindness to ur family and even bless her with some money. Not everybody wud hv d patient to wait on d long queue in other to fetch free water others wud opt to still buy. Finally any good we do shd be done as to unto God. 3 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by Nobody: 3:46am On Mar 31, 2016 |
i will go with your dad on this. let her provide the water for home use only. 3 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by Winneygirl(f): 5:13am On Mar 31, 2016 |
Let d borehole be for the house alone. . Even the free water will not be appreciated. That is when you will see the same people fetch water from morning till night everyday as if they need to fill up a 6000ltrs GP tank in their houses, even bring their clothes to wash at your frontage. You will be the ones fully responsible for fixing all d multiple faults that will occur, increased maintenance cost due to the frequent non-stop usage as well as having to cope with and maintain the always wet and dirty frontage to your house. . People value more the things that cost them money. The day you guys are unable to continue supplying 'free' water, you will become the evil people that deliberately denied the entire neighborhood water. 12 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by k4kenny(f): 2:45pm On Mar 31, 2016 |
OP while it's charitable to assist people in their times of need, lets not forget that this is Naija. Let me share some personal stories with you. When we first moved to our place in 1995, my parents saw a similar situation and an opportunity to assist the community so they placed a tap outside of the compound and opened it for public use for just one hour in a day(between 5 and 6pm daily). During that period omo see crowd. Queues would have started forming by 4pm. By 6pm when the tap was shut, the entire area will be filled with messy foot prints, water everywhere, but that wasn't the problem. The major problem was that we were creating big losses for the water sellers in the neighbourhood. They came to threaten my mum on several occasions to beware cos she doesn't want them to have money like her abi? One even threatened that we should face whatever consequences that befell us cos of our charitable act. Let me remind you that the water was only on for one hour daily. Although my mum was a bit worried of all these threats, my dad continued with the water charity. Suddenly our pumping machine started to mal function  . There was no week that we weren't repairing it. Even a brand new one malfunctioned after a few weeks, that was when they finally put a stop to this water charity o, not knowing that one sef would cause another gbege. Suddenly we were public enemy number 1 , my mum would want to buy things from the neighbourhood and people would be hissing and eyeing see wahala o! . A neighbour that also opened his water for the community in spite of the threats from the water sellers had his pumping machine stolen on several occasions till he too had to succumb. Another more recent story. My in laws also decided to open their compound for the neighbours to come get water. their gate was always opened for people to come in. This paved way for petty thieves to have access into their home to steal things lying around in the compound. from generator battery to spare tyres to even the kids' toys. When it was too much to bear, they also had to stop the water supply making them instant neighbourhood enemies. So OP, my point is this: Don't start something you can't see through properly. Let your sister know the inherent disadvantage of what she wants to do. Your dad's idea to me is the best. The Alhaja has been very charitable to your folks please don't repay her with this. 9 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by raumdeuter: 5:16pm On Mar 31, 2016 |
When Alhaja begin jazz you, Your sister go dey Canada with her own life If she insist let her dig your own borehole for you then go ahead buy another land and give water for free on the land Anything that comes from it she should take it that way 1 Like |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by mekzyjoe(m): 5:22pm On Mar 31, 2016 |
icedfire: |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by honeymills(f): 6:51pm On Mar 31, 2016 |
Personal advice!! Let ur sister find a way to compensate alhaja BUT she should go ahead and dig the borehole.. indeed Nigerians are suffering.. |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by bukatyne(f): 7:16pm On Mar 31, 2016 |
jabojafa: The sister wants to make free something Alhaja sells to earn a living. Ti isu eni ba funfun, won man fowo bo je. Pardon my French. 2 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by ifyalways(f): 6:31am On Apr 01, 2016 |
No amount of wealth, exposure or education is equal to or greater than wisdom. Your father is wise. Your sister wants to create problems for y'all back here and run back to Canada. She should listen to your dad , the voice of wisdom. God forbid she from digging boreholes start digging graves, all just cos common water! |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by oweniwe(m): 8:56am On Apr 01, 2016 |
.. |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by oweniwe(m): 9:21am On Apr 01, 2016 |
No give water for free o Church ppl who used to come do crusade in the village would call my dad to let their "visitors" lodge in our House .... My dad would say "okay "... The first time, the crusade ppl staying in our huz pumped water till d tank overflowed for over 30mins... D tank burst as a result.... The host pastor washed his hand off the matter... He refused to repair or replace the tank... 3 days ago, we hosted another crusade ppl.... They just left this morning.... With the main bathroom tap spoilt .... who will repair the tap now? If church ppl can do these... You can imagine what street people will do 1 Like |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by Flexherbal(m): 2:30pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
You should have your own borehole. You can't continue to be fetching water from someone's house. How long will you do that? |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by 400billionman: 11:13pm On Aug 15, 2017 |
This thread is meaningless. Your sister wants to show that she has made money. She is naive. Let me stop here... 1 Like |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by 400billionman: 11:16pm On Aug 15, 2017 |
ifyalways: Experience is the best teacher... |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by 400billionman: 11:25pm On Aug 15, 2017 |
jabojafa: If they ever sell or give water for free, they have become Alhajas number one enemy. Alhaja will see her good works as stupidity to them. Most people commenting here lack life experiences. They should never do anything that looks like or tampers with Alhaja's business. It could lead to decades of enemity. Thanks.. 1 Like |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by BagsJewlery(f): 2:03am On Aug 16, 2017 |
Op, kindly refer your sister to this thread. You can copy the link and foward her 1 Like |
| Re: Advice Needed: is she being ungrateful, or she is too kind. by marcopollo(m): 9:36am On Jun 21, 2022 |
crackhaus: Op, listen to this advice. |
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