itstpia8:
^ have you married or dated yet?

No keeping myself for you Tope. lets make this happen

jadelyn007:
Shymexx tell me if you had a choice between a pretty low born ijebu girl and dangote's daughter, which would you choose?
Everyone wants to marry up, because it affords you better opportunities in life and it puts you on a higher pedestal.
Another thing you should consider is that men usually go for younger girls who are yet to establish themselves financially.
A 35yr old spinster or bachelor will most likely marry down.
I had men coming for me since I was 19. Financially established men, would you have expected me to have anything apart from my educational certificate then?

When men start going for their mates age wise then people are more likely to marry within their ranks

I'd go for my pretty low born Ijebu chic I can relate to easily, than go tag myself with folks that will control me. If you know, you'd know that I'm independent minded and I like being in control all the time, and I've been like that since my teenage years - hence I moved out of my parents' house quite early. I don't care about people's money. I stay grafting getting my own money, like I've been doing all my life. I prefer chics that will let me be in control and take charge, that's why I'd rather remain single and do my own thing than marry up.

Err, those men coming for you at 19 are the typical men who're looking to marry down cos they believe you'd let them take charge and be in control. That's just how men are wired.

SirShymexx:
Celestial PSA (Courtesy sukkot):

This is a message to all the uncouth, bitter, insolent, and illiterate overgrown village kids with daddy issues in this section (you know yourselves, even under ya alternate handles): you can rant all you want, abuse ya mums, cry as much tears as you can, and throw all kinds of hissy fit on the thread – but please don’t quote me. I’m not responsible for ya bitterness and daddy issues and, I’m not ready to baby-sit overgrown kids. I’m not ya dad. If you’ve any issues, go look for ya dad and straighten things out with him. Quote me and you won’t get a reply.

As for the sensible ones – you can shoot. I’m here to have fun and read interesting inputs for comic relief.

Are you still having issues with momma?

modath:

I believe everything boils down to biology, conscious awareness is what separates man from lower animals, man and animals both submit to primal instincts...

Money comes with Power which attracts women like moth to a flame..

Man-Woman relationship is actually a trade off situation...society then proceed to place boundaries & expectations on them...

It's beauty /+ gorgeous body for money, anyone who goes against this unspoken rule will find him/herself at the butt end of many unsavoury jokes..

Men are "expected" when they have a bit of money to go for only the cream of the crop & at the same time will be given a pass when they step out of the relationship..

I look at flavour, he has 2 beauty queens baby mama that he keeps dangling like puppets, they both get ridiculed on social media incessantly but it's sure that neither will leave until a better catch comes along..

Women are expected to seek out males that can fulfill the basics , wants & lavishness on top of it.. . Melania Trump isn't red faced, rug head Donald because he is the best thing since sliced bread...

It is what it is...Trade by barter..

You would see that everything you listed shows that the women are mostly attracted to men who’re “superior” (I’m putting this quote so as not to sound like men in general are superior to women), or in a space of superiority, to them. So why do women who end up with “superior” other halves have a fundamental problem with them playing the natural role (the head/authority) they’re predisposed to play, as the ones, with superior qualities? Why do they want them to take the back seat, in relationships, when such women could’ve easily gone for men they possess more superior qualities than and can easily impose their will on? I believe if women can start looking at it from this perspective and start making logical/rational decisions, without letting their emotions, get the best of them – we can actually solve a lot of problems in broken families. You can’t go into a competition with a superior opponent and believe you can impose ya will, that’s just being delusional.

Let me expand on ya points and inject other points. When it comes to physical qualities, most women are naturally attracted to imposing male figures: tall, ripped/athletic, and a figure that can take charge/control and protect them - except in isolated cases. And even in those isolated cases, the male figures have to possess qualities that show they can take charge and be in control – financially, cerebrally, etc. That’s the caricature of the “real man” they always allude to. However, conversely, there aren’t too many guys out there who want women that can impose themselves on them, in any way, shape, or form – apart from perhaps lazy ones who use women.

raumdeuter:


WHen you were 19 would you date another 19yr old boy?

Girls normally pride themselves in saying they can never date their mates and brag about dating older men

Its a natural instinct for female to desire a partner older, richer, taller, stronger and better educated than them

Of course.

I don't know why anyone would argue against this.

If we can check the statistics, we would see that divorces occur most frequently among couples that have little or no age gaps.

The reason is simple, nature is violated when there is little or no age gap between a man and his wife.

Pls quote me on this anytime.

modath:

I believe everything boils down to biology, conscious awareness is what separates man from lower animals, man and animals both submit to primal instincts...

Money comes with Power which attracts women like moth to a flame..

Man-Woman relationship is actually a trade off situation...society then proceed to place boundaries & expectations on them...

It's beauty /+ gorgeous body for money, anyone who goes against this unspoken rule will find him/herself at the butt end of many unsavoury jokes..

Men are "expected" when they have a bit of money to go for only the cream of the crop & at the same time will be given a pass when they step out of the relationship..

I look at flavour, he has 2 beauty queens baby mama that he keeps dangling like puppets, they both get ridiculed on social media incessantly but it's sure that neither will leave until a better catch comes along..

Women are expected to seek out males that can fulfill the basics , wants & lavishness on top of it.. . Melania Trump isn't red faced, rug head Donald because he is the best thing since sliced bread...

It is what it is...Trade by barter..

Perfect.

Suigeneris93:




.... I still stand by what I said, goodbye

Bingo!!

And that is the denial that the OP talks about.

KanwuliaExtra:
Sexist thread "ALAT"!
Some "OPs" are soooooooooooooo PREDICTABLE!
The reason NL died a timely death ages ago!

Mu ha ha ha ha ha

Political correctness is what slowly kills society

Mindfulness:


I think you are the one living in denial. A handsome guy will attract many chics.



What kind of guys are not attracted to successful women?



So if a woman desires an ambitious and successful man then in your mind it means that it is mutually exclusive to having a man who treats her like a partner and not like a subordinate?


Back to topic,

it is not your business if people choose to live in denial. Tend to your own denial.

Are you my psychic twin?

Another stvpid and emotional thread

Money is power. Women are smart, they are attracted to power. I think that is quite smart and logical .

The men that run away from rich women know that what makes a man a man is earning more than his wife . That is the only thing their 'masculinity' have to offer . These men find it hard to respect women on a general level, earning more than their wives give them the opportunity to still treat her less. . Some of these men simply do not want to be treated the same way they treat women who earn less. .

plaetton:
Of course.

I don't know why anyone would argue against this.

If we can check the statistics, we would see that divorces occur most frequently among couples that have little or no age gaps.

The reason is simple, nature is violated when there is little or no age gap between a man and his wife.

Pls quote me on this anytime.

I agree with what you posted I am just trying to ask Jadelyn007 why she would like every other woman out there seek men who are older, bigger, taller, richer stronger and possibly more educated and succesful than her

raumdeuter:


WHen you were 19 would you date another 19yr old boy?

Girls normally pride themselves in saying they can never date their mates and brag about dating older men

Its a natural instinct for female to desire a partner older, richer, taller, stronger and better educated than them

when I was 19, marriage was the last thing on my mind. Trust me all those requirements you listed don't mean nothing to me, I just want to be with someone who loves me and loves God, we'll maybe a little richer too (we could use some extra dough around here . But I don't really care about those stuff. I pay my bills and I do my things my self,maybe I'm not wired like the average female then. Girls at 19 brag that they can't date their mates because their mates at that age are very immature, not because of finances. nobody wants to babysit nobody. I have never seen a 30yr old lady who would not want to be with a fellow 30yr old man

SirShymexx:


You would see that everything you listed shows that the women are mostly attracted to men who’re “superior”

Shy, 2 things..

1. I ain't no feminist, i totally am on the side of clear definition of gender roles;..... A man not doing household chores is not a sacrilege in my book, neither do not i see anything wrong in buying a pack of boxer in exchange for an high end phone as anniversary gifts...

2. Most people are full of crap, they say lot of inane things & do the opposite.....

There is a difference between making a choice & settling,most settle for the available & still want to foist what they'd want from what is desirable,which they weren't fortunate enough to have....

The day i see a beauty queen with a laborer is the day i change my stance, till then, money makes the world go round..

raumdeuter:


I agree with what you posted I am just trying to ask Jadelyn007 why she would like every other woman out there seek men who are older, bigger, taller, richer stronger and possibly more educated and succesful than her

you should understand that being older, taller, richer, stronger or better educated doesn't make you a better man. Trust me, anyone can be all of that and even more, so?
It's not always about the package, The content is more important.
You should be able to love me more than anyone else, that's one of the 2 things I consider paramount.

SirShymexx:


I'd go for my pretty low born Ijebu chic I can relate to easily, than go tag myself with folks that will control me. If you know, you'd know that I'm independent minded and I like being in control all the time, and I've been like that since my teenage years - hence I moved out of my parents' house quite early. I don't care about people's money. I stay grafting getting my own money, like I've been doing all my life. I prefer chics that will let me be in control and take charge, that's why I'd rather remain single and do my own thing than marry up.

Err, those men coming for you at 19 are the typical men who're looking to marry down cos they believe you'd let them take charge and be in control. That's just how men are wired.

what if dangote's daughter would allow you be in control while the ijebu girl eventually turns out a monster?
Maybe women chose to marry up because that is what the men want in the actual sense even when you complain about.
I know this question might be a little off topic but Why do you feel the need to be in control all the time?

jadelyn007:
you should understand that being older, taller, richer, stronger or better educated doesn't make you a better man. Trust me, anyone can be all of that and even more, so?
It's not always about the package, The content is more important.
You should be able to love me more than anyone else, that's one of the 2 things I consider paramount.

If I ask you to describe your ideal man, I am sure most of what I said would check your boxes, richer, taller, older, stronger, better educated etc

jadelyn007:
when I was 19, marriage was the last thing on my mind. Trust me all those requirements you listed don't mean nothing to me, I just want to be with someone who loves me and loves God, we'll maybe a little richer too (we could use some extra dough around here . But I don't really care about those stuff. I pay my bills and I do my things my self,maybe I'm not wired like the average female then. Girls at 19 brag that they can't date their mates because their mates at that age are very immature, not because of finances. nobody wants to babysit nobody. I have never seen a 30yr old lady who would not want to be with a fellow 30yr old man

What do you mean by the 19yr old boys were not mature, were you mature at 19?

hm!

See what our fellow women are doing in the meantime while we debate this matter:

https://www.nairaland.com/3048964/aregbesola-resuscitates-ede-cocoa-processing

modath:


Shy, 2 things..

1. I ain't no feminist, i totally am on the side of clear definition of gender roles;..... A man not doing household chores is not a sacrilege in my book, neither do not i see anything wrong in buying a pack of boxer in exchange for an high end phone as anniversary gifts...

2. Most people are full of crap, they say lot of inane things & do the opposite.....

There is a difference between making a choice & settling,most settle for the available & still want to foist what they'd want from what is desirable which they weren't fortunate enough to have...

The day i see a beauty queen with a laborer is the day i change my stance, till then, money makes the world go round..

*Clapping*

You're a realist and the quintessential woman I can sit down all day with to discuss relationships, interactions between men and women, and perhaps try to understand outlook to life from a female perspective. This is what maturity is about: the ability to understand the harsh realities of life, the society, and how to exist and make the best out of that framework - rather than go about trying to build castles in the air.

I doff my hat to you.

jadelyn007:
what if dangote's daughter would allow you be in control while the ijebu girl eventually turns out a monster?
Maybe women chose to marry up because that is what the men want in the actual sense even when you complain about.
I know this question might be a little off topic but Why do you feel the need to be in control all the time?

Loool.

I guess you've never had a partner higher than you.

A chic with power is a control freak and any time you get into any tiff, she's going to remind you of everything wrong with you and ya life.

My Ijebu chic won't turn into that type of monster cos we're from the same background, and I would've vetted her properly before getting involved with her. Yes, folks do change but she definitely won't change into a control freak.

daretodiffer:

Are you my psychic twin?

Another stvpid and emotional thread

Money is power. Women are smart, they are attracted to power. I think that is quite smart and logical .

Whatever rocks their boat. If they desire a rich man, then so be it.
I wasn't looking for money when I was single.

I wanted a man who would respect and understand me, someone who respects himself, someone who tries to be the best he can be, someone who would be a caring father, someone who is smart and with whom I can have interesting and inspiring conversations, someone who is independent, someone who is honest and trustworthy, someone who values family, someone who is relaxed and enjoys life as much as I do, someone who appreciates art and literature, someone who is interested in politics, economics, traveling and foreign cultures, someone who is fun and has a good sense of humor, someone who likes to socialize but also lets me have time on my own, someone I can cook with together, someone who is open-minded, someone who loves to develop, someone who is not only into my appearance but who wants to know my soul and connect on a deeper level and OF COURSE someone who is handsome and attractive.

I didn't want a jobless and lazy man but money was not what I needed either. I have my own.

The men that run away from rich women know that what makes a man a man is earning more than his wife . That is the only thing their 'masculinity' have to offer . These men find it hard to respect women on a general level, earning more than their wives give them the opportunity to still treat her less. . Some of these men simply do not want to be treated the same way they treat women who earn less. .

I am yet to meet a man who runs from a rich woman. I have never met such a man.

A home with the woman earning more or spending more time at work would still require her to do almost all chores to prove that she is a good wife and mother. If she acts contrary to that, she must be arrogant and her husband must be a houseboy/woman wrapper.

Not my business. As you make your bed ...

Mindfulness:


Whatever rocks their boat. If they desire a rich man, then so be it.
I wasn't looking for money when I was single.

I wanted a man who would respect and understand me, someone who respects himself, someone who tries to be the best he can be, someone who would be a caring father, someone who is smart and with whom I can have interesting and inspiring conversations, someone who is independent, someone who is honest and trustworthy, someone who values family, someone who is relaxed and enjoys life as much as I do, someone who appreciates art and literature, someone who is interested in politics, economics, traveling and foreign cultures, someone who is fun and has a good sense of humor, someone who likes to socialize but also lets me have time on my own, someone I can cook with together, someone who is open-minded, someone who loves to develop, someone who is not only into my appearance but who wants to know my soul and connect on a deeper level and OF COURSE someone who is handsome and attractive.

I didn't want a jobless and lazy man but money was not what I needed either. I have my own.

I am with you. There are women out there who will never settle for rich men at the detriment of their happiness. However it is also true that women are attracted to money. I don't think that is bad either.

I am yet to meet a man who runs from a rich woman. I have never met such a man.



Not my business. As you make your bed ...

True, I am yet to meet such men but I do hear of them . They are scared of being controlled however do you know that men who earn higher or less than their partners are often very abusive, in fact they are responsible for the most severe types of abuse.

daretodiffer:



I am with you. There are women out there who will never settle for rich men at the detriment of their happiness. However it is also true that women are attracted to money. I don't think that is bad either.

How many people - men or women - do you know who are NOT attracted to money?

True, I am yet to meet such men but I do hear of them . They are scared of being controlled however do you know that men who earn higher or less than their partners are often very abusive, in fact they are responsible for the most severe types of abuse.

I don't see the correlation.

modath:


Shy, 2 things..

1. I ain't no feminist, i totally am on the side of clear definition of gender roles;..... A man not doing household chores is not a sacrilege in my book, neither do not i see anything wrong in buying a pack of boxer in exchange for an high end phone as anniversary gifts...

2. Most people are full of crap, they say lot of inane things & do the opposite.....

There is a difference between making a choice & settling,most settle for the available & still want to foist what they'd want from what is desirable,which they weren't fortunate enough to have....

The day i see a beauty queen with a laborer is the day i change my stance, till then, money makes the world go round..

Sensible. Very sensible post from a reasonable woman.

Mindfulness:


How many people - men or women - do you know who are NOT attracted to money?





I don't see the correlation.

I know three women including me.

I thought it was worth a mention as a consequence of marrying either too rich or too poor

daretodiffer:
I know three women including me.

I thought it was worth a mention as a consequence of marrying either too rich or too poor

You don't like money?

SirShymexx:


*Clapping*

You're a realist and the quintessential woman I can sit down all day with to discuss relationships, interactions between men and women, and perhaps try to understand outlook to life from a female perspective. This is what maturity is about: the ability to understand the harsh realities of life, the society, and how to exist and make the best out of that framework - rather than go about trying to build castles in the air.

I doff my hat to you.

Shy came bearing compliments, imma bookmark this or better still, print & frame!

On Topic; Real life experience...

I have a group of friends (about 5 women) who when we initially became close used to be standoffish cos they believed I wasn't sympathetic enough to their causes!!

They said I missed gender, that I should have come as a man!!! but how can I be sympathetic when someone informs me about a cold war with her hubby stemming from "He left dirty plates in the sink for me"... my advice of "wash it & KIM or throw it away & not make it an issue" seems to set them off.

One was having cable TV remote control supremacy with her husband & it was almost tearing her home apart, till I sat her down one day & asked her to get a dual view decoder because her man would only capitulate if he is only a doormat!!

She loves the usual female thingies, her husband is into the usual male, No meeting point, after she got it, she told me that the man would leave his own programme, join her in order "to spend time doing what she enjoys" which was never the case before...
Now I'm one of the "loves" of her life!

I've always been aware of life since I was a little child,Maybe cos I've always had a mind of my own, I don't get swayed by false appearances people put up!!

From childhood I've always known that to bring out the best in a man, You have to "allow him" take his role!! Nature designed women to be nurturers, going against that never ends well!!

SirShymexx:
Celestial PSA (Courtesy sukkot):

This is a message to all the uncouth, bitter, insolent, and illiterate overgrown village kids with daddy issues in this section (you know yourselves, even under ya alternate handles): you can rant all you want, abuse ya mums, cry as much tears as you can, and throw all kinds of hissy fit on the thread – but please don’t quote me. I’m not responsible for ya bitterness and daddy issues and, I’m not ready to baby-sit overgrown kids. I’m not ya dad. If you’ve any issues, go look for ya dad and straighten things out with him. Quote me and you won’t get a reply.

As for the sensible ones – you can shoot. I’m here to have fun and read interesting inputs for comic relief.

What a rant! Is Shymexx being emotional??

You can't call for objectivity if you, the thread starter is anything but. You're also adopting a hardline stance here and being quite antagonistic to those whose views differ from yours, Shymexx. Tut...tut.

Anyway, back to topic - I kind of get where you're coming from but like all things in life, it's never pure black or white. Plus, the social economic situation of an environment plays a huge part in shaping the opinions of those who live within it. Take Nigeria for example. We all know that the economy is tough. Has been for decades now but it's gotten worse with each passing year. So the natural instinct of those who've only ever known / lived a hard life, would be to look for a means of escapism. That's normal and applies to both sexes. That's why it seems ladies living there wouldn't give prospective suitors a second glance unless they're convinced such men have enough earning power to get them out of poverty, to live at the very least, some semblance of a comfortable life. There are also men over there who would not want to get involved, much less marry a woman who they feel will be over dependent on them financially. At the extreme end of the spectrum, you do have young men willing to marry much older ladies as long as they're guaranteed to live a comfortable life from the union (Abuja runz boys perhaps?). So you see, the point I'm making here alludes to my earlier assertion of life having shades of greys and not strict, clearly defined borders as you put it in your opening post.

Secondly, there are women out there who are willing to marry a man with nothing to his name, so long as he's got prospects. These women marry for love (I remember you once mentioned you don't believe in love beyond that shown within your immediate family), and are willing to start from 'scratch' with their spouses to build a good life with, together. You'll find that such women look beyond the exterior / book covering e.g physical attributes such as height, colour, looks, etc and focus on the actual 'content' as someone on here rightly mentioned.

Mindfulness:


You don't like money?

Not really, I don't. I give money out like an idi.ot. I am just learning how to be stingy after a bitter experience

I don't mind either but I don't think I can ever sacrifice my freedom or goals for it.

SirShymexx:


Loool.

I guess you've never had a partner higher than you.

A chic with power is a control freak and any time you get into any tiff, she's going to remind you of everything wrong with you and ya life.

My Ijebu chic won't turn into that type of monster cos we're from the same background, and I would've vetted her properly before getting involved with her. Yes, folks do change but she definitely won't change into a control freak.

Meaning you do have issues with successful women with higher earning power than yours.

A self-confident man who truly believes in himself won't be fazed by a woman's wealth. There is a lot you don't understand about women.

A man who truly loves and understands his woman would know the right buttons to push to "bend her to his will". I'm not referring to emotional abuse / exhibition of controlling tendencies from such a man, but rather, a man who absolutely connects with her. His soul mate. If the connection, feelings, mutual understanding, and love are reciprocal, you'll find that it works both ways between such a couple - i.e the woman also knowing and understanding what make her man tick.

Mindfulness:


Whatever rocks their boat. If they desire a rich man, then so be it.
I wasn't looking for money when I was single.

I wanted a man who would respect and understand me, someone who respects himself, someone who tries to be the best he can be, someone who would be a caring father, someone who is smart and with whom I can have interesting and inspiring conversations, someone who is independent, someone who is honest and trustworthy, someone who values family, someone who is relaxed and enjoys life as much as I do, someone who appreciates art and literature, someone who is interested in politics, economics, traveling and foreign cultures, someone who is fun and has a good sense of humor, someone who likes to socialize but also lets me have time on my own, someone I can cook with together, someone who is open-minded, someone who loves to develop, someone who is not only into my appearance but who wants to know my soul and connect on a deeper level and OF COURSE someone who is handsome and attractive.

I didn't want a jobless and lazy man but money was not what I needed either. I have my own.




I am yet to meet a man who runs from a rich woman. I have never met such a man.



Not my business. As you make your bed ...

I absolutely, absolutely, love this woman!

EfemenaXY:


I absolutely, absolutely, love this woman!

Awwwwww, thank you. I hope you know that I love you too ... plenty.

I have had a very nice day but you have just made it so much better.

modath:


Shy, 2 things..

1. I ain't no feminist, i totally am on the side of clear definition of gender roles;..... A man not doing household chores is not a sacrilege in my book, neither do not i see anything wrong in buying a pack of boxer in exchange for an high end phone as anniversary gifts...

2. Most people are full of crap, they say lot of inane things & do the opposite.....

There is a difference between making a choice & settling,most settle for the available & still want to foist what they'd want from what is desirable,which they weren't fortunate enough to have....

The day i see a beauty queen with a laborer is the day i change my stance, till then, money makes the world go round..

I couldn't help it. Beautiful submission

edwife:


I couldn't help it. Beautiful submission

C'mon take a stand and let's read your views.

What do you really think of SirShymexx's assertions about women?