1.Boss- So tell me young man,on what all occasion have you realized that you have importance in company and it cannot function without you?

Employee- " Sir, whenever i asked for a leave.."

2.Boss- You have taken 4 leaves by saying that your grandfather is dead.What excuse you have now?

Employee- Sir,It's my grandmother's marriage.

3.Boss- "We need to talk"
Employee- Can't talk, Whatsapp only

4.Boss- "Where were you?"
Employee- "I went to get a haircut."
Boss-" In office hours? "
Employee- "They grew during office hours."
Boss- "Don't they grow at home?"
Employee-" Yes that's why I am not Bald.Only cut which grew during office hours.

5.Boss- "I saw you in office yesterday morning,Then you disappeared?"
Employee-" I went home.
Boss- "Why?"
Employee-" You sad me " Have a Good Day".
Boss- O.o

Source: My Quora