Yankelaptops:
Empire sounds like a fool that is happy about wife beating. Why are you calling women a bi-tch, is it that men don't sin every day against Allah, so will you call yourself a Bi-tch for sinning against Allah or are you claiming to be Sin Free?

Any man that goes beyond what Allah has prescribed for beating, will account for it and may end up giving the "said bi-tch wife" some of his good deeds on the day of judgement.

tintingz:
The question is does wife-beating resolve marital conflict?

Ssthorm:

Empiree:
You are right. Unless there is a very strong and justice system in place, it is forever gonna be like this. Me personally, i still dont know what's gonna make me beat my wife really. I feel uncomfortable with it. When it comes to men abusing women, it is universal thing. Not only in nija. It is just the way it is. Truly, it is supposed to be about the deen but a lot of men today would beat their women for anything.

You can't blame that on text. Blame the man.

Ssthorm:




Wasnt blamn d text,was jst highlightn practical facts,d truth is :d same physical strength God gav men so as to protect women is d same one ironicaly dt men use to batter women up
lets face d fact,giving a human,n i mean any human,male or female, giving any human a sense of power or authority over anoda kindles pride psychologicaly by 5% in some sort,n dts a FACT! It definitely alters ur psyche. N with pride cums a couple behavioral msconducts.
All am sayn is advocatn dese tns shud b done wt exteme care,leave d buks,how has it helped?it hasnt bn helpn n wudnt help,esp. D female folks.
For a woman 2 b insecured wt som1, being conscious of d fact dt if she does rong hes goin hit ha
cuz hes strnger dn ha is enuf mental torture,n idealy ds is sm1 she shud feel utter safety wt.
N to start wt if shes truly rebellious beatngs wud hardly help cuz dose ones tend to retaliate ,call dt *armagedon series* in ur home, sadly d meek ones suffer d same fate...jst b careful wat u spread

Empiree:
it doesn't.

And the "beating" as described is exergerated. According to Quran, to beat your wife has nothing to do with doing household shores. It has to do with the deen. Like if she is lazy to pray, not knowing her whereabout when she goes out, promiscuous etc.


Fact is, obedient wife won't even go close to these things. That's why the verse goes further to describe good wife. A wife has to be thug and heedless to go through beating.

Remember same goes around. There are bad niggas

lexiconkabir:


You said "leave the books" if I may ask what books? Because in this context its the Qur'an and sunnah we talking about.

Ssthorm:


O yes i meant the books,n nt in any derogatory way man
D "books" were to emphasize d laws n rulings in theory compared to how tns r done practically

lexiconkabir:


These rulings are in the ahadith(with proper explanations), so we can't leave the books.

This is the ruling from past to present and it is a consensus, the prophet informed us that the ummah is infallible on consensus, because Allaah will not allow the ummah agree on misguidance.

When I opened this thread I wasn't aware of the proper ruling.

Like the brother said, blame the man not the text, things are being malpracticed in all aspects not only in this case, theory says this, people practice that, anyone that does anything contra to the sharee'ah ruling is on is own, that's the point.

Which is why sisters are adviced to marry someone knowledgeable or someone willing to learn, don't marry primarily for looks, money or fame, all those are secondary.

Ssthorm:



Hmnn..kabeer,mayb u dnt get my point.leme gv analogous example. I understnd a husbnd shud takia of hs wife financialy acordin to sharee'ah n shud incase "life" happens n hes bankrupt or dsabled,n cnt nymre meet ha needs,she has accordn to shareeah rite to leave hm based on dt sole reason. Nw i knw of a practical e.g in life wia my lovn uncle tuk kia of hs wife untl an automoble axidnt hapnd wia he broke hs leg,ds same wife showed in al ramificatns hw bad she wnted to leave hm,my uncle was tortured mentaly evn mre dn d trauma hs axidnt causd hm...fo ova yr! tho she was wt hm,he was appalled by her,Alhamdulilah hes gud now n she got in ha senses ryt bfre tym.
If she had left cuz she cudnt cope,its no sin accordn to d books,bt u&i knw say woman wey go do dah kind tn no try ooo.
Ds is wia instinctual abilities cum to play,we r "higher animals " n best of Allah's creatures...it boils down to:Is it right to do so? *instnct*...n WaLlaHi bro so long as nt doin wat d books hav axd u to du at such situatns wudnt cause u to SIN..den its betr fo u Maa sha Allah esp. Wen dealing in kindness to others
Marry a learned persn or sm1 wilin 2learn? It dusnt evn cum to play,dey r d suposedly ones usin d hadeeths n verse to back up wt dey du.
Leave d books n i dnt mean it derogatory,Allah knows

lexiconkabir:


I get what you are trying to say, believe me i do, but our intellect can never supersede that of Allaah, he knows why he gave those steps, Allaah is Al-Azeez wal Hakeem.

And knowledge comes to play because for us to curb malpractices of the theory, people have to be enlightened.

Ssthorm:



Subhanallah,laa hawla walaa kuwwata!!!
Bro kabeer i was in no way n wud neva in any way compare mere human intellect wt Allah's . I urge u nt to compromise d msg im tryn to pas acrox...we hav brains to use evn wen d laws r dere so long as deviatn frm d laws wudnt throw u in HELL like i said earlier.
Wen d sahabas in d battle of uhud left dier suposedly posts wich caused d breech dt made dem lose d battle Allah told dem clearly dt it was cause of dier "WILL" dt such tn hapnd(i.e dsobedience) ds clearly points out dt Allah,d most Wise gave us "brains"n "will" dt He is aware of n is expectn us to use in d ryt manner
Pls dnt twist my words

tintingz:
Good.

So a situation where the husband possess bad behavior, he's the one causing marital conflict, what should the wife do according to Sharee'a ruling?

Empiree:
Obviously women are weak physical vs men. It is fool!sh of a woman to engage with him physical as she can badly get hurt.

She can simply go to court (get authority involved) to address the issue. Please understand the verse of Qur'an in wide context. Qur'an simply puts men ahead base on their physical and social responsibilities placed on them and are expected to live up to that. (4:34) It is not saying it is a MUST to beat women.

Fact is, if you live in a country where hitting your wife is considered "domestic violence" and punishable offence, it is not mandatory to hit or beat your wife in that case. Either side can simply consult marriage counselor. And as I said earlier, the condition for beating women has nothing to do with doing household things or mere worldly matters. It is about the deen. If you take her to court for not praying in Western world, you have no case. They can simply tell you it is her freedom if she choose not to. Husband may simply divorce her if her situation doesnt change rather than beating cus it wont change anything. In Africa today, it is definitely not about deen anymore. They beat for whatever reason. That's not what Qur'an is saying.

I think I see this issue different from how you see it.

Ssthorm:




Wasnt blamn d text,was jst highlightn practical facts,d truth is :d same physical strength God gav men so as to protect women is d same one ironicaly dt men use to batter women up
lets face d fact,giving a human,n i mean any human,male or female, giving any human a sense of power or authority over anoda kindles pride psychologicaly by 5% in some sort,n dts a FACT! It definitely alters ur psyche. N with pride cums a couple behavioral msconducts.
All am sayn is advocatn dese tns shud b done wt exteme care,leave d buks,how has it helped?it hasnt bn helpn n wudnt help,esp. D female folks.
For a woman 2 b insecured wt som1, being conscious of d fact dt if she does rong hes goin hit ha
cuz hes strnger dn ha is enuf mental torture,n idealy ds is sm1 she shud feel utter safety wt.
N to start wt if shes truly rebellious beatngs wud hardly help cuz dose ones tend to retaliate ,call dt *armagedon series* in ur home, sadly d meek ones suffer d same fate...jst b careful wat u spread

Contact17:


Sister I think you should give him the benefit of doubt. I don't think he was trying to twist your words. What I understood from what he posted was that we shouldn't be blaming the Qur'an when it's people who aren't following it properly.Yes, there are men who try to use the Qur'an to justify domestic violence but it is a misinterpretation from their side. Striking the wife shouldn't be done harshly or cause harm, rather it should be as light as striking with a siwak.

tintingz:
Sorry I disagree here.

There are cases where the wife beat up the husband and even kill the man. I use to believe all women are weak but from the news and reports I read lately some women are like John Cena.

@bolded, can the husband also involve court(authorities) if vice versa is the case?

I understand you clearly here.

Contact17:


Sister I think you should give him the benefit of doubt. I don't think he was trying to twist your words. What I understood from what he posted was that we shouldn't be blaming the Qur'an when it's people who aren't following it properly.Yes, there are men who try to use the Qur'an to justify domestic violence but it is a misinterpretation from their side. Striking the wife shouldn't be done harshly or cause harm, rather it should be as light as striking with a siwak.

Ssthorm:


"Our intellect can never supersed dat of Allah"...in hs words
N wat i neva did was make a comparison

Ssthorm:


"Our intellect can never supersed dat of Allah"...in hs words
N wat i neva did was make a comparison

lexiconkabir:


jazaka Allaah! hope you are fasting?

demmzy15 you nko?

lexiconkabir:


jazaka Allaah! hope you are fasting?

demmzy15 you nko?

Empiree:
Lol...dont let Cena see this. Yea, truly their are now masculine women. But we have to ignore that and base this subject on verse of Qur'an. I read lately how women beat up their husbands. Just read one yesterday. But we cant deny that naturally men are stronger than women. If you go into medical field, they will tell you this as well.

Absolutely! we have men with chicken bones. They dont have the strength. We also have men who simply dont want to get in trouble with the Law so they rather go to court than touch her.


Good

Demmzy15:
نعم، but the awe don dey hold me o!

tintingz:
Good.

The reason I asked does questions is for non-muslims who are reading or will come across this thread beacuse they wont understand, this thread will give their references on tagging Islam a sexism religion and support domestic violence on women.

I think the OP post is even better as some scholars have that same interpretation of the verse.