i wish i never had to write this

When I see you, I want my fistful of tears back
Cos this was not how we planned it years back
Wondering when we grow old, we’l still listen to rap music
Now all is left is an empty room and sad music
I missed your wake cos I cant survive your mother’s face
Engulfed in sadness, no mother should have to bury her kids.
Called Vinnie when I heard, could hear life leave his voice
Though I was live with his boys, you weren’t just vinnie’s mate
You were one of us, a young man trying to win in this indecent race
It makes me not want to run anymore, the mere thought that
I could leave in a whisper, and leave behind nothing but memories and memorials
nothing but conversation and tributes in facebook statuses.
i have a 25 year plan to be top 10 on your rich list
but i could die poor and u'l never hear my name.
that's my reality, it could be me next.
it could have been me there.
life's short, so why we wait this long to live,
they will remember this year cos M. J died
Grey skies shed tears till late night,
i'l fistfight the angel on guard when kay died
when a young star fell off the sky just before his turn to shine.