saaedlee:


Quarrels doesnt mean she isn't special. It is healthy, trust me when I say that...
Imagine you raising a hand to slap the face you usually kiss?

What about in the line of quarrel she called you names like you're a coward, useless and stupid. In that fit of anger she also called your mother a harlot and your family a no good family. As a gentleman, you stood up from the couch and made move to get out cos you can no longer stand her ranting anymore but she seized your car keys, block your way and call you a coward for not being a man to stand and fight. You ignore still and she grabbed your colar and dare you to do the worst... Brother, what will you do?

Never once laid a hand on her during courtship but little things to watch out for.

He was always annoyed over one thing or other. Everything has to be the way he wants it. So many times he will call from usa west coast to canada in the middle of the night when we have gone to bed and think nothing of waking me up and still be raving about not having a fully alert fiance to talk to.

Very personable when you meet him but quite a bully in private.

What I learnt through the process is that family members need to speak up when they notice important things. Its your child, brother, sister so it is your business. When they are loving and blinding please throw water for their face.

vicstar:
• • • • • Here in d states u raise a finger and u lose the house.

stop deceiving yourself

robonski15:


What About signing a prenup before marriage! Better that way

It's not as iron-clad as you might think.

Courts routinely throw them out on a whim.

freshvine:


What about in the line of quarrel she called you names like you're a coward, useless and stupid. In that fit of anger she also called your mother a harlot and your family a no good family. As a gentleman, you stood up from the couch and made move to get out cos you can no longer stand her ranting anymore but she seized your car keys, block your way and call you a coward for not being a man to stand and fight. You ignore still and she grabbed your colar and dare you to do the worst... Brother, what will you do?

Except she's your source of air, that's it.

HateU2:
will u keep kwayet

u and hu dey folo play if I shoot u ehn. .

Let me first quote myself

Woman beaters never on any circumstance beat their wives in the presence of their brothers or other male relatives. They are cowards inside who are'nt sure of another male's physical prowess so hardly provoke them. Even men who were good fighters in their days automatically become cowards once they beat wives, I don't know why it happens so but it does

Having done so the answer is no, they can not. The problem is deep. Many wife beaters become so from multiple ways; one is from upbringing. You can not expect a household where the man always beats his wife to bring up docile males can you? Happened to Chris Brown, much as he claimed he would never act like his dad he ended up beating the famous 'work, work, work, work, work' singer to a pulp.

Domestic violence-ladden households also affect females because it makes them believe a man's greatest show of love is a brutal beatdown. Females from this type of home learn to provoke even the most docile of males into bloodlust.

The third option but the only one curable to some extent are males who stumble into beatings as a form of control. These men have their heads on straight, were brought up in good homes but one thing lead to another and they hit their wife - it felt bad the first, not so bad the second, good on the third and mighty empowering overtime.

YES!!! it is possible.....I'm a typical example. Before i got married, i used to beat my babes....until one day i met one, we dated for months, and she used to misbehave back then. I used to slap her several times, not punches or belt...only slap... but that one didn't make her stop misbehaving until i got tired of slapping or scolding her. It later turned to any time she misbehaves, i wont talk, i will stop talking to her and abandon her till she will come for forgiveness. That was how i stopped misbehaving too and got used to chilling out for women...because laying ur hands on ladies or women is bad..but sometimes they drives men nuts. We just have to learn how to overcome it. Now i'm married to another different woman, had it mean i crippled someone before i got married to another woman, she will be there living a crippled life with another man while me that i put her in that condition will be chilling with my hot, sexy and fresh wife..LOL.

Ladies please!!!!!!! any man that lays his hands on you doesn't love you, i will advise you to leave the relationship. Don't be greedy maybe he has money, cars or levels, your life should be more important to you than money!!! God forbid, if he injures,kills or blind your eye balls with punches, you are on your own, he will move on with his life..and you will remain blind for ever!

My advise!

Its possible.. With God

Domestic abuse is not a case of conflict

Bollinger:


You just said it. The law. Which doesn't exist in Nigeria. Every country has wife beaters but what constrains these people is the law. The only reason we are talking about it here is because Nigeria is lawless. Come and do that shiit here and you will lose your house, if you have one, your money, and your time.

Their law, their life, their business

freshvine:


What about in the line of quarrel she called you names like you're a coward, useless and stupid. In that fit of anger she also called your mother a harlot and your family a no good family. As a gentleman, you stood up from the couch and made move to get out cos you can no longer stand her ranting anymore but she seized your car keys, block your way and call you a coward for not being a man to stand and fight. You ignore still and she grabbed your colar and dare you to do the worst... Brother, what will you do?

Firstly, my pregnant girlfriend/fiancée cannot go to that length.
Anyway lets assume that she does that, seizing my car keys and holding my collar. I will move closer to her stare her in the face and tell her "I love you" with all sincerity. My "berry" as I call her will melt, and that day will be like a honeymoon for us after resolving the issue and finding out how it got to that point. Trust me, I have diffused more threatening confrontations than this. She once woke me up around 2:00am to ask for strawberry flavoured custard, almost shouting down the roof... (wont tell you what happend).
Once you are in love with your bestfriend, honestly you will never raise a hand to slap him/her.

Some of the Kids blabbing on here have never been in marriage before yet they think they have it all figured out.

Sometimes it is the woman abusing the man and insulting him, especially if there is no money. When the woman continuously flips her mouth at the man, even the guys mouthing off on here against wife beaters will flip their hands against her. Feminists are trying to demonise wife beaters and turn the world in favour of women, I wish they will exert half as much energy telling their folk to be nice to their man, but no...

firstking01:
Their law, their life, their business

The Nigerian mindset. Truly phuckeduplly amazing.

I am not married to such a man but even if I am (God forbid), he can't beat me. I am strong too.

zicky:

Sister mi na mouth you dey make, when the guy begin nack you na you go say leave him its love play

kaboninc:


If everybody starts running away from their problems they'll end up postponing the evil day.

My point is that most women beater or men who have ever laid their hands on their wife or gf didn't just do so because they feel like or its a passion or they derive pleasure in it. But in most cases, their women instigated it

How do you know what happens in "most" cases? You're not every man and you don't know what's going on in their head. Some people are just plain crazy and its better to run and save your life. I don't care what a woman has done or said, he has no right to beat her up for it. she is not a child. same applies the other way around. once a relationship degrades to the point of physical abuse from either party, then it is toxic and headed for disaster. Run away from such a relationship.

KevinDein:
what do you have to say about verbally abusive women? We should pray for them? Fast for them to change?
Sheesh! its a two way thing. You ladies have done more harm with your mouths but I guess we should all keep shut and overlook it.

why should you retaliate with physical abuse? If she used her mouth to abuse you, you also have a mouth that you can retaliate with. if you can't deal with her mouth, walk out. You have no right to beat up a woman. I repeat, walk away before you kill someone and become a murderer just because you can't control your temper

A woman beater can never change, even after he kills his wife, he will continue beating the next woman he marries.

They change only when the woman involved have been sent to an early grave. It then becomes devil's handwork.

amtaken:
I am not married to such a man but even if I am (God forbid), he can't beat me. I am strong too.

You dey gym ?

colossus2:
Lately, I have read stories and comments here on nairaland about husbands or boyfriends beating their spouse.
All comments have been on the defensive of the receiver of the abusive relationship.
I know it is a wrong thing to be in a abusive relationship especially for a lady.
A man could beat up a woman lets say once, twice, thrice etc, for some maybe, a time comes when they realize their mistakes and decide to make amends, while some go all brutal by the day and never make amends or show remorse.
Now, is it possible for a woman beater to possibly amend his ways?
Are we saying no such person has ever changed his ways and loved his spouse more than before?

cc: mhizeva

Dominique; Lalasticlala


In what ways can a wife beater change?
As posited by nairalanders on this thread.....
1. Knowing God: Total submission and acceptance of the heavenly father through fervent prayers and the will to change is the first step to be taken in order to put a stop to such act.

2. Understanding the purpose of marriage: Marriage is the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (Webster Dictionary).
Before marriage or relationship, we all go through the wooing stage or courtship. During this time, we had a focus of being the best and not having the mindset of beating or humiliating our spouses. It is expedient that we realise the true purpose of our union and delve out of the beating process.

3. Self Realisation: By self realisation, I believe our spouse must have set a certain condition for us to realise the mistake we made down the lane of the abusive relationship. But we should try not to let it go to a limit which is off the edge before we realise. Sometimes it could be too late, but nothing is impossible. You must be willing to take full ownership of the choices you made. Enough pleas must be added also.

4. Self value: We should know our usefulness or importance in a relationship.

5. Conflict Resolution: There are better ways to resolve disputes with our spouses. Some persons are temperamental and don't know how to control it. Finding alternate means is the best way out rather than hitting. Best way is to walk away when angry or when offended. By this, your spouse will know she hit a nerve when you ignore her or decide not to eat her food.


A wife beater can surely change his ways. It all depends on his will and determination. Don't take your spouse for granted. Let's also learn to forgive and forget.
Thank you.

knowing that the wife has brothers or wherewithal to have him beaten as well

If lie Mohammed can change...

[quote author=colossus2 post=45529574]Lately, I have read stories and comments here on nairaland about husbands or boyfriends beating their spouse.
All comments have been on the defensive of the receiver of the abusive relationship.
I know it is a wrong thing to be in a abusive relationship especially for a lady.
A man could beat up a woman lets say once, twice, thrice etc, for some maybe, a time comes when they realize their mistakes and decide to make amends, while some go all brutal by the day and never make amends or show remorse.
Now, is it possible for a woman beater to possibly amend his ways?
Are we saying no such person has ever changed his ways and loved his spouse more than before?

cc: mhizeva

Dominique; Lalasticlala


In what ways can a wife beater change?
As posited by nairalanders on this thread.....
1. Knowing God: Total submission and acceptance of the heavenly father through fervent prayers and the will to change is the first step to be taken in order to put a stop to such act.

2. Understanding the purpose of marriage: Marriage is the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (Webster Dictionary).
Before marriage or relationship, we all go through the wooing stage or courtship. During this time, we had a focus of being the best and not having the mindset of beating or humiliating our spouses. It is expedient that we realise the true purpose of our union and delve out of the beating process.

3. Self Realisation: By self realisation, I believe our spouse must have set a certain condition for us to realise the mistake we made down the lane of the abusive relationship. But we should try not to let it go to a limit which is off the edge before we realise. Sometimes it could be too late, but nothing is impossible. You must be willing to take full ownership of the choices you made. Enough pleas must be added also.

4. Self value: We should know our usefulness or importance in a relationship.

5. Conflict Resolution: There are better ways to resolve disputes with our spouses. Some persons are temperamental and don't know how to control it. Finding alternate means is the best way out rather than hitting. Best way is to walk away when angry or when offended. By this, your spouse will know she hit a nerve when you ignore her or decide not to eat her food.


A wife beater can surely change his ways. It all depends on his will and determination. Don't take your spouse for granted. Let's also learn to forgive and forget.
Thank you.[/quote



@Op....dis one u are asking, hope u are not guilty of dis?

Back to your question....NO, i dont think so! cos once a wife beater will always be a wife beater because since he couldnt control his anger dat once, he will keep on losing it at any slightest provocation especially if he is a hot tempered person. So, its better u dont try it at all than regretting ur action later.

banme1:
what of ewure.

Same same

I strength-train (but I am on break now till September) . No man can over power me. Dem never born him grand papa.

zicky:

You dey gym ?

amtaken:
I strength-train (but I am on break now till September) . No man can over power me. Dem never born him grand papa.

You sound so confident, huh!

Bollinger:


The Nigerian mindset. Truly phuckeduplly amazing.

We do not give a hoot...a man is supposed to be the head, and women are supposed to be submissive and learn in silence.

firstking01:
We do not give a hoot...a man is supposed to be the head, and women are supposed to be submissive and learn in silence.

Which farm are you from again?

the truth is that any body can change jst like (Nigeria) is undergoing change ryt now either good or bad. ;Dthe truth is that any body can change jst like (Nigeria) is undergoing change ryt now either good or bad. The wonen are always too competitive to equating themself to men and that is problem. I am not suporting beating ur partner from either side, but we learn to understand our position in a relationship and respect for one another. I dn't think any responsible man or woman will choose fighting as means to resolving issues.

Of course they will all change with time. U don't expect gran pa to be beating gran ma

Bollinger:

Which farm are you from again?

I know you dnt know the scriptures

Domestic violence is just getting on high side of late, my Client just got seriously beaten early this morning by her husband, thank God I got her distress call timeously, the monster is cooling off at the moment in Police detention.