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Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? - Romance - Nairaland

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Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 8:06am On May 16, 2016
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

6 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by emeraldknytt(m): 8:13am On May 16, 2016
It is no new thing that to-be marriages are put on hold temporarily or permanently, and yours is no strange case either. First and foremost, You should be thankful for coming across a truth that might hurt so bad yet transform your would-be moments of agony into pure tranquility and sheer bliss. That 'sly fox' took you for a 'dumb bunny', which evidently you aren't (based on the next course of action you're going to take), he toyed with you, took. you for granted and wishes to put a ring of doom in your finger. What nonsense! If you dont want to look silly, confront him like you'd if you caught them in the act. Let him know literally, there are millions of elligible suitors out there. Technically, such a weirdo has nothing really concrete and palpable to offer speaking of nuptial happiness. Unless you want to get wedded to Bill Cosby Jr, dont rethink and walk down the aisle........... of regret.

166 Likes 14 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 8:17am On May 16, 2016
He's gonna cheat on you when you get married, that's for sure. The question is can you settle for it? Can you overlook it all to get the ring now you're still 27?

I can't tell you what to do because you'd do whatever you want irrespective of my advice.


So happy married life in advance undecided

116 Likes 10 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Ahmed0336(m): 8:17am On May 16, 2016
Some niggas aint loyal cry

26 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by gabinogem(m): 8:18am On May 16, 2016
It's very obvious ur bf(fiance) is sexually attracted to that ur friendly neighbour, though he may not take her as his 'wife material' but I think he's enjoying her sex.

154 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by JustOzito(f): 8:23am On May 16, 2016
do you love him?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Greenbullet(m): 8:23am On May 16, 2016
relax she is the Nokia torch light,u are the I phone6.u are wife material she is for banging purpose

212 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by olac21(m): 8:23am On May 16, 2016
You can't just cancel everything like that!screen garb the message then confront him and hear him out first!then pls take it easy with him no matter the reply he gives!btw-how are you to that woman in question?one thing is he won't tell you the truth but take things easy with yourself and him...thanks!

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Rexhenrex(m): 8:27am On May 16, 2016
Which gentle God fearing guy does that? He loves and care for you and yet he didn't think twice breaking ur heart and shattering it to shreads what kinda love is that? I know nothing about marriage but am quite certain of a fact it doesn't have a time duration its something of a life time so pray and guide ur decision properly because i he can cheat on u after just proposing he can do worst after marriage...God has given us a head so we can let him rest.

**My advice**
gather enough evidence show it to him tell him the hurt you feel if he apologises and you still love him that you can't let go,forgive him then watch him i he repeats his action or still flirts dump his ass he don't deserve you as or the lady express your disappointment to her..you deserve better.never stay where u will be tolerated but where u will be celebrated...my opinion tho:

A real man doesn't chase a million ladies but rather loves a lady a million ways.


Vote mimzy for miss NL

37 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by queenoflafia(f): 8:28am On May 16, 2016
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I said it was in their DNA,they called for my head

110 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Laveda(f): 8:33am On May 16, 2016
skarlett:
He's gonna cheat on you when you get married, that's for sure. The question is can you settle for it? Can you overlook it all and get the ring now you're still 27?

I can't tell you what to do because you'd do whatever you want irrespective of my advice.


So happy married life in advance undecided

My thought too.
Whatever we advise her ain't gonn' do nothing it's still up to her, she's the one wearing the shoe so she knows where it hurts...

I pray she makes a better choice though.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by danduchi(m): 8:34am On May 16, 2016
Married life can as well change him.. Confront him and talk to him how you feel... Better marry him ooo, Linda Ikeji wish she has your opportunity.

14 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by dyadeleye(m): 8:37am On May 16, 2016
You don't need to back out of the wedding sis, tactically turn the lady(old gf) to your friend and let her know you got wind of all the sexual relationship she is having with your husband to be...make her see reasons to leave your man to you.
Then that same night, give the blockhead some great sex...Bleep his Brain out like a porn star...afterward, discuss the issue of the girl with him....trust me, he's gonna change after that.

NB: and if he doesn't, you know what to do ..... grin grin grin

28 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by rheether(f): 8:45am On May 16, 2016
You see husband and you're complaining. Babe go ahead and marry him jhoor. He will still cheat on you anyway so it's a no win situation.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 8:53am On May 16, 2016
danduchi:
Married life can as well change him.. Confront him and talk to him how you feel... Better marry him ooo, Linda Ikeji wish she has your opportunity.


I know this advice sounds really sincere to you but how do you know the bolded undecided

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Mologi(m): 8:53am On May 16, 2016
Eni lori o ni fila... ..

Dnt marry him because u will see another man that doesnt sleep around.. ..

Because Na only u be the woman God created with punna...



Mo n wa iyawo ooo

12 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by danduchi(m): 8:57am On May 16, 2016
skarlett:



I know this advice sounds really sincere to you but how do you know the bolded undecided
If Linda is planning for traditional wedding in July, who wouldn't know since January? Hope I have answered ur question

17 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by falseman(m): 9:07am On May 16, 2016
Op would you marry Dangote even if you are aware he cheats?
Would you marry a poor faithful man?

Find honest answers to these questions then compare it to your situation the rest is up to you.

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 9:08am On May 16, 2016
emeraldknytt:
It is no new thing that to-be marriages are put on hold temporarily or permanently, and yours is no strange case either. First and foremost, You should be thankful for coming across a truth that might hurt so bad yet transform your would-be moments of agony into pure tranquility and sheer bliss. That 'sly fox' took you for a 'dumb bunny', which evidently you aren't (based on the next course of action you're going to take), he toyed with you, took. you for granted and wishes to put a ring of doom in your finger. What nonsense! If you dont want to look silly, confront him like you'd if you caught them in the act. Let him know literally, there are millions of elligible suitors out there. Technically, such a weirdo has nothing really concrete and palpable to offer speaking of nuptial happiness. Unless you want to get wedded to Bill Cosby Jr, dont rethink and walk down the aisle........... of regret.
Thanks so much for this piece of advice, am sure gonna confront him just that I needed to think it through and by then know my next line of actions
As for putting the wedding on hold temporary, that idea has been running through my head too

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 9:13am On May 16, 2016
skarlett:
He's gonna cheat on you when you get married, that's for sure. The question is can you settle for it? Can you overlook it all and get the ring now you're still 27?

I can't tell you what to do because you'd do whatever you want irrespective of my advice.


So happy married life in advance undecided
My problem isn't about him cheating on me but doing it with a girl I have known a my life, we grew up together although we don't talk to each other, to me that's disrespecting me after giving me his word that he isn't gonna have anything to do with her again
Do think that's the kinda of man I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I am 27yrs yes but marriage doesn't define me. Thanks anyway

8 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by olac21(m): 9:13am On May 16, 2016
Sis-pls what do you do a living?I read where you said you won't be a poor wife!

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 9:21am On May 16, 2016
Rexhenrex:
Which gentle God fearing guy does that? He loves and care for you and yet he didn't think twice breaking ur heart and shattering it to shreads what kinda love is that? I know nothing about marriage but am quite certain of a fact it doesn't have a time duration its something of a life time so pray and guide ur decision properly because i he can cheat on u after just proposing he can do worst after marriage...God has given us a head so we can let him rest.

**My advice**
gather enough evidence show it to him tell him the hurt you feel if he apologises and you still love him that you can't let go,forgive him then watch him i he repeats his action or still flirts dump his ass he don't deserve you as or the lady express your disappointment to her..you deserve better.never stay where u will be tolerated but where u will be celebrated...my opinion tho:

A real man doesn't chase a million ladies but rather loves a lady a million ways.


Vote mimzy for miss NL
Thanks you, tears rolled down my eyes as I read this price, do you know the only person am really considering is my mum, how is she gonna take this if I tell her am not going to go ahead with this, we have gone deep into the preparation and so many things has been bought and paid for. I have never been this hurt my whole life

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by mrkay101(m): 9:21am On May 16, 2016
1st of all let me say this, it baffles me that marriage has been seen as a sign of success in the life of a lady.

That being said.. Aunty op the truth is it all depends on u. If u feel u can't cope with him then leave. Becos marriage is a lifetime thing.

But on the other hand if u leave him wats to say that the next relationship would be different. Just talk to him

7 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 9:21am On May 16, 2016
olac21:
Sis-pls what do you do a living?I read where you said you won't be a poor wife!
I am into makeover and I work with the state government

1 Like

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 9:23am On May 16, 2016
Mologi:
Eni lori o ni fila... ..

Dnt marry him because u will see another man that doesnt sleep around.. ..

Because Na only u be the woman God created with punna...



Mo n wa iyawo ooo
Is not about sleeping around, is about doing it with someone I have known all my life
If am to be ur younger sis what will you advice me to do.

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 9:26am On May 16, 2016
queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I saw it was in their DNA,they called for my head
I am not looking for a perfect man my dear
Just a man that will respect me
Sleeping with her shows he doesn't have a single respect for me. Many many factors is what am really considering and my mum is num one of them

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by Nobody: 9:29am On May 16, 2016
hmmm rex , let's be careful.

Most guys cheat and it's not cos they do not love their spouse/girlfriend.

OP honestly, trust me , the grass is NOT greener on the other side. Water your own well and see how well it flourishes.

Cheating is not enough to cancel the plans if you truly love him and vice versa.

Aint saying she shouldn't express her hurts but cancellation of the wedding just seems too extreme a measure for me.



Rexhenrex:
Which gentle God fearing guy does that? He loves and care for you and yet he didn't think twice breaking ur heart and shattering it to shreads what kinda love is that? I know nothing about marriage but am quite certain of a fact it doesn't have a time duration its something of a life time so pray and guide ur decision properly because i he can cheat on u after just proposing he can do worst after marriage...God has given us a head so we can let him rest.

**My advice**
gather enough evidence show it to him tell him the hurt you feel if he apologises and you still love him that you can't let go,forgive him then watch him i he repeats his action or still flirts dump his ass he don't deserve you as or the lady express your disappointment to her..you deserve better.never stay where u will be tolerated but where u will be celebrated...my opinion tho:

A real man doesn't chase a million ladies but rather loves a lady a million ways.


Vote mimzy for miss NL

27 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by olac21(m): 9:38am On May 16, 2016
ilovemylife:

I am into makeover and I work with the state government
Good but pls dnt cancel the wedding plans!hope he works too cos I can assure you nearly all men are cheats(that's the truth)take care ma!

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 9:47am On May 16, 2016
mimzy:
hmmm rex , let's be careful.

Most guys cheat and it's not cos they do not love their spouse/girlfriend.

OP honestly, trust me , the grass is NOT greener on the other side. Water your own well and see how it well it flourishes.

Cheating is not enough to cancel the plans if you truly love him and vice versa.

Aint saying she shouldn't express her hurts but cancellation of the wedding just seems too extreme a measure for me.



Is not like he cheated my dear, he did it with someone I have know all my life, someone he promised not to contact again, someone who was there when he asked me to married him, someone I haven't talked to all my life till she came for his birthday party February this year.
I am hurting and I feel so ashamed that my husband to be can stoop this low.
But all the same thanks for you advice

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by firstking01(m): 9:59am On May 16, 2016
You dnt wanna be a poor wife...that part got me thinkingembarassed
Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by bryan360: 10:07am On May 16, 2016
i dnt kw y u still tinkin sha..sucha man doesn't deserve yu..marriage no be by force..dump his sorry godforsaken AsS

3 Likes

Re: Should I Cancel My Marriage Plans? by ilovemylife: 10:10am On May 16, 2016
firstking01:
You dnt wanna be a poor wife...that part got me thinkingembarassed
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