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|Waiting For ' Up Nepa' and other short stories by Divepen1(m): 6:25pm On May 16, 2016|
There was no noise anywhere for the first time in a long time as I moved to urinate in the toilet. The silence was extremely unbearable.
Did I sleep till the next day? I rushed to the parlour and went outside. The sky was dark and there was light in the different houses of our street. There was an unusual silence.
Oh I lie! There was the regular noise of Tunde and Segun, my playful four-year-old friends (they were actually twins); there was the noise of our neighbour Mr. George and Aunty Grace another neighbour whose moan and cry of ‘oh more!’ never ceased to filter to my ear, my mum had told me to always leave that side of the house whenever I heard that noise that it would corrupt my heart, and I believed her.
But I still searched for that humming, buzzing, head-pounding noise which was not there again. I hurriedly ran inside, to the kitchen and tugged my mum’s wrapper, not minding that she was still shouting instructions to my elder siblings- Segun and Tofunmi- to put water in the fridge and to dust the pepper-blender we had never cause to use in a long time.
‘Mummy, everybody have buy big generator.
They have off their generator and we also have light’, I said half delighted, half surprised that we who couldn’t afford generator, whose father still returned home with his dusty, tattered shoes, distraughted after searching for jobs, whose mother was the bread winner would be
able to get a generator.
She smiled brightly at me and shook my head playfully, ‘no honey. PHCN has restored our
I nodded and the light went off and returned again then I learnt a new sentence, ‘ Up NEPA’. Then, the light went off again. And the generators resumed their duties.
Seeing the need to take count, I began to watch out for the day people would cry the sentence again, but it came only twice in March- once on a Sunday and the second time on Friday for five minutes.
It came again last month, but nobody put off their generator for two hours. But the light remained, till 5 a.m and went off. This is May.
We are still expecting the shout of ‘Up Nepa’.
|Re: Waiting For ' Up Nepa' and other short stories by Divepen1(m): 6:36pm On May 16, 2016|
The sweetest Maggi
Ibidun was just like every woman, she wanted to be the first to use the best or something new. So, it wasn't a wonder when she scurried about to look for something to break that hard-as-stone maggi that refused to break.
But the idiot wouldn't bulge and she couldn't use stone to break it, so she was compelled to throw it into the boiling red soup like that with no fear. It would melt by itself.
When her daughter, and luckily for her, her friend arrived, she was beaming and ready to show them the soup, the grand soup she had just made and the wonderful taste it would have. She, like her friend, was a good cook who cooked and didn't need to taste it for salt or other things because with instinct of a master, they knew their soup was good.
' Whoa', she said rejoicing, 'I just got a maggi that you've never tasted in your life. You people will be the first to taste from the master's soup'.
So, when she dished it for them and they frowned, she recoiled.
' What's wrong with it?'
' Ibidun, did you use sugar to cook?'
' Sugar? May God not let us see fire in a well. When Maggi have not finish in the world'.
' That's imposible', she said and tasted it for the first time and dropped the spoon as though it had become fire,' my head oooo'.
' Where's the maggi you use. I mean where are the wrappers?'
' No need for wrappers, I still have more'.
She hurried inside and rushed back, staring at it.
' It's milo Maggi'.
' Ah mummy that's not maggi. That's choco milo. It's a sweet', her daughter said and gave her friend a side-glance and they buckled in laughter, while she stood staring at them, calculating how much she spent on the soup.
* Dedicated to everyone having a ceremony today. From Nigerianwriters'hub we say your money will not be a waste. This shall be a step into greatness forever.
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|Re: Waiting For ' Up Nepa' and other short stories by Divepen1(m): 6:37pm On May 16, 2016|
His Neighbour's Window.
Tunde stood at his window that day like he did everyday and watched Shade's window.
Every morning, it was blurry because of the mosquito net, and whenever the afternoon sun decide to show off its glory, he would only see the ray bouncing off the net again and even in the evening it was always so, but at night he had deviced a means to watch her.
Whenever, he was at home, his light was sure to be on and with that he noticed her curtain would be down. But whenever, he refused to put on the light- candle, lamp, or the bulb- her curtain was always rolled up.
Plump and beautiful, her stature always attracted his eyes to hover around her body. He always stared at her, and that went on for long and became a habit.
So, it wasn't surprising when he entered his room that friday night and went straight to the window to watch her UnCloth
' Ah! God', he moaned as she swirl her hair.
As if the whole house fell on him, a slap landed on his cheek. He screamed.
' Idiot! You are staring at a woman's unclothedness', his girlfriend, who planned to give him a surprise visit, shouted.
' When? Where?' He said and looked at the door. He had left it ajar.
He looked back at the window, the lady had covered it and she never opened it ever since.
|Re: Waiting For ' Up Nepa' and other short stories by Divepen1(m): 6:39pm On May 16, 2016|
Tolu, my friend, was from a wealthy home. Now that we're on strike, I think she's the only I would visit especially now that she just posted a pix on Facebook. The food was tantalising-Indomie garnished with great spices and she posted 'Morning food'.
Hurriedly, I sent her Bbm 'Bae, I'm coming to your place....'
She replied that she would be expecting me.
I did my work and rushed to her place, imagining the indomie and everything that I would eat since UI had restricted me to Agbowo and lot of Garri. I met her outside, bent and looking morose.
Whatever was wrong with her, she would be fine.
'Why you kon bendown for there? Abeg wey dat indomie?'
I said and ran into the house with joy.
The moment, I got to her pot I discovered two things- the pot was washed and Tolu was vomitting.
' Tolu....'I screamed in anger and fear. ' What's wrong with you?'
I said as I got out as against where's the remaining indomie I wanted to say.
But I had to stop as I saw her vomitting pelted Eba.
' What...What.. What is this?'
Tolu had always boasted of never taking swallow.
' I don't know?'
' But this is Eba'
' I don't take swallow'
' I don't take swallow... I ate indomie this morning..Didn't you see the pics on Fb'.
' I did but this is Eba'.
'I don't take...'
At that instant, an old neighbour of Tolu passed.
' Aunty Tolu, the Eba you poured in the gutter has blocked it o..Oya go and wash it with water'.
Tolu stared at me. I stared at her, and at Mama Agba with my mouth opened. I wheeled around and returned to her room, frustrated as the hungry worms in my stomach kept rumbling for Indomie.
|Re: Waiting For ' Up Nepa' and other short stories by Divepen1(m): 6:39pm On May 16, 2016|
Every man's Hatred.
I woke to the complaint of a loud old generator, to a devilish long tongued heat, to the funny harmony of mosquitoes, to the killing pang of hunger and I knew I was done for.
Why did I wake again? Why did I not just pass from sleep to death and from death to the grave and from grave to God, to whom my complaint would go blaring siren and using the loudest honks to deliver the message of my woe, my pain, and my anger at what this world was.
At least, it would take me far away from my wife's incessant complaints and nagging, from the sharp, tiny, painful cry of my darling little three day old baby and would make me face heaven.
But I'm sure none of them woke me, I'm sure it was the noise of angry Mathew, my neighbour and his heavy knock on my door. I should have expected the knock, but I had thought otherwise.
' Yes... Who's there?'
' It's the police', a rough, cold voice shouted from outside.
Oh blood of zechariah! This idiot had gone to call police over the small issue that ensued that afternoon.
I felt my wife stir, lift her head, and probably stare at me but the choky darkness was sure to take away her worried look. And my little girl winced in her sleep, snoozing and waking up in bits.
I went out of the room and faced the doom at my door. 'Yes, what do you want?'
I knew but with Nigeria police, one must always be alert.
' You are under arrest for breaking three teeth of your neighbour'.
' Where's your warrant?'
' Wetin you dey talk?'
' I said where's your warrant?'
' You dey crase', someone shouted from the shadow. Ray of light from the other house poked into the house and I saw it was another uniformed man.
My baby cried from within the house and I thought of running and the consequences, following them and the consequences, so I chose following them and I'm sure those idiots that refused to borrow me money to start business would now be interested in bailing me.
I looked at my lanky, dry-bone-like-buhari neighbour and moved in front of the police as if they were my guards.
' Simple sorry you no fit take', I said as I wheeled towards him and back to the front.
' You wan beat am again'.
' Oga you noba hear my story you don do kerekere wan carry me go tation. Na like dat real officer suppose dey do'.
' You don get loosed button for your brain. Who no be real officer? Na me?'
I wanted to see their face but I knew that the only thing sure about Nigerian Light was that it will never come and when it does, it's for show,to make people have hope that vision 2020 would bring hope, for the sake of preparing a way for those that would be involved in disconnecting the light from it's source, the pole if one had not pay his PHCN due.
My problem also started with PHCN, I was seated outside, waiting for my wife to cool down her rants, and my baby, her cry, hoping that the breeze from outside would seethe my pain, and the light from the sun would dry my unshed tears, hoping PHCN would restore our light when Matthew, the Lanky neighbour joined me.
We started from complaining about Nigeria and discussed generally even as the day began to go dim like a theartrical art. Then, our arguements went to family planning, which I supported vehemently. But the dry bone refused. He believed we should get as many children God wanted to give but I told him to forget it while I played with a padlock I brought out. And I even told him that if God want to give me baby let him send money to take care of them first.
As though I was hit by lightening, I saw Matthew hand connect to my face, boring pain into the pores of my skin, into my veins and in my brain. I yelled. He opened his hand and opened it.
' Mosquito', he groaned and smiled as though he was a hunter who had just had a great kill.
I pounced on him, forgetting that I held the padlock, forgetting that I was as fat as an elephant, hoping to finish him before he could escape. By the time people dragged me off him, I had removed the three front upper teeth.
' Idiot' I said as the police man pushed me away. Now, I'm suffering because a man hated mosquito and I hated unbalanced judgement.
|Re: Waiting For ' Up Nepa' and other short stories by joanee20(f): 3:29pm On May 29, 2016|
|Re: Waiting For ' Up Nepa' and other short stories by Divepen1(m): 7:22pm On May 29, 2016|
|Re: Waiting For ' Up Nepa' and other short stories by Champion001: 9:20am On Jun 15, 2016|
funny ones.. lol
|Re: Waiting For ' Up Nepa' and other short stories by Divepen1(m): 10:39am On Jun 15, 2016|
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