Human interactions just like our needs are infinite. And so in the course of our interactions, so many things are bound to happen such as falling in love, falling mugu, falling down, hammering dollars, getting married, etc. Another thing we may encounter in our journey through life, is getting into trouble and by investing in trouble, reaping the accrued dividends in the form of slaps.

There are various types of slaps we may encounter, some of which are listed below:

- The Time-lapse slap: This form of slap induces a temporary period of time-lapse in activity on the slapee - a temporary 'hanging' of the brain. So the brain in its infinite wisdom, has to reboot, hence the break in transmission experienced by the slapee. In most cases, the slapper gets bored of the wait and walks away leaving the slapee in a confounded state of ignominious quagmire like the Bush baby in the attached pic. In this state, one eye may be looking towards Jerusalem in the East, while the other eye may be searching for Niger Delta in the South South. Other cruel slappers utilize the opportunity to further dash more categories of slaps on the hapless slapee. Like when Lalasticlala refused to send one of Tonto's thread like that to FP.
Some people just don't gat no chill.

Recovery is usually a slow process and victims of such slaps may display symptoms of malaria, such as sleepiness and general body weakness, cos the slap infection is gradually spreading around the body.

1) Faxing slap - makes you recount all that has and has not happened. Usually executed by soldiers; usually accompanied by a ringtone
2) Reset - the kind your mother will give you to restore you back to lineage setting
3) Launching - The kind of slap that takes you into time travel. You only come around to say "what happened"
4) Login - The kind of slap your teacher gives you in order to gain access into your brain
5)ifoju/ifomu/igbaju - The kind of slap an agbero administers on you in a fight
6) Moro - coded slap from a cultist; usually involving both hands; it is accompanied by instant teardrops

Haha! Almost forgot one more...

7) Lighting - this kind of slap comes as a first attack in a fight. Its is accompanied by lightning sparks and clouded vision. You may stagger after receiving such so its advisable to seat on the floor first

waiting

Following

GlorifiedTunde:

Chill. Lemme finish. I cannot goan on gen and come and finish my post?

No 2.
- The slap of life: Very simple. It could be the ginger slaps delivered by a midwife on a newborn, or it could also mean an epiphanous slap delivered by a Battalion commander on a Boko member. Such slaps can induce visions of the early days of creation (as in you'll see visions of Adam sleeping, a surgery being performed on him, or you'll see a naked couple being fed apples by a snake - the slap is that powerful) or you might even have flashback memories of the day you were born.

NO 3

- The Anniversary slap: Survivors of this category of slap go home to mark the date of receipt in their calendars. And so at that appointed time every year, they mark a minute of silence for the moment when they could have passed away to the life-changing slap.

Like in the pic below, every year on the 34th of July at exactly 11:55pm, after the Cockrell has crowed 5 times, Obama will gather his in-laws at that exact spot to mark the moment that Donald Trump slapped him 13 years ago. So unforgettable.

Only 3 people in recorded history have been known to deliver such slaps - Mohammed Ali, Mike Tyson and Tiwa Savage (if you doubt me ask that publicity-seeking, baby-mama-anywhere-he-sleeps yeyebrity whose name sounds like a certain chronic lung infection). The slap is currently being developed in the lab for commercial applications.

A dude trying to mark the anniversary of a slap he received in the toilet.

No 4

- The Wake up slap: Don't let the name fool you. This isn't the slap used to wake someone up. It is the slap someone wakes up from. As in the slapee is slapped with such intensity that instant sleep remains the only option. In 9 out of 10 instances, the slapee upon waking up, demonstrates instant interest in Geography by asking one simple question: "where am I?".

I believe there are sooo many other types of slaps out there that require investigating. So volunteers are actively encouraged to go out, socialize, experiment and come back to give us their findings.

Thanks.

See ya!

GlorifiedTunde:


1) Faxing slap - makes you recount all that has and has not happened. Usually executed by soldiers; usually accompanied by a ringtone
2) Reset - the kind your mother will give you to restore you back to lineage setting
3) Launching - The kind of slap that takes you into time travel. You only come around to say "what happened"
4) Login - The kind of slap your teacher gives you in order to gain access into your brain
5)ifoju/ifomu/igbaju - The kind of slap an agbero administers on you in a fight
6) Moro - coded slap from a cultist; usually involving both hands; it is accompanied by instant teardrops

Haha! Almost forgot one more...

7) Lighting - this kind of slap comes as a first attack in a fight. Its is accompanied by lightning sparks and clouded vision. You may stagger after receiving such so its advisable to seat on the floor first

LOL. That Ifoju type, is it the type that those women playfully slapped Abacha and made him cross over to the great beyond?

I heard that there is the slap-and-die type.

lol

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