I did not come to England to take pictures of Big Ben or tour London Bridge. I just wanted to get paid and get even with those colonials. With a name like Ogundele Kayode Omobrukutu, I could not even buy a bus pass let alone open a bank account. This is my story,

It took me 6 months to study the system, but I still could not figure out my squares and circus's. I could not travel from Leicester Circus to Oxford Square without getting lost. I was a YMCA (Young Money Chasing African) when I joined the FRAUD (Fine Rich Africans United in Deals). It took me 3 months to attain my ACCA (Advanced Certificate for Criminal Africans) and I needed an MBA (Major Bank Account) to do my first HND (Heavy Nigerian Deal).

I arranged to meet this guy at Animal and Something, I mean Elephant and Castle. We were supposed to meet at 10:00am. I got there at 11:30am and he turned up at 1:30pm. He pulled up in a Mercedes 500SL with a private number plate - 419 ADE. He was a definite Nigerian, he had it all - leather jacket in summer, air condition on full blast with his roof and windows down whilst smoking a cigar and choking on his smoke just to impress me. Being a fellow Nigerian I was more than impressed. He introduced himself as Adepujo Kunle Babatunde and asked me to call him Ade or Babs. He spoke with a strong Nigerian accent but he messed the whole language up by slanging - he sounded like a Canadian born Chinese living in Germany and studying French. I had not been in the country for long but I could tell that Omo (my man) was trying hard to be British. After hanging with Ade for about 2 months I became an OBE (Opportunist Bank Employee) and specialised in BBC (Breaking Bank Codes).

Money was flowing and I wanted more so I did my PhD (Passport Handling Degree) and became an FBI (Fraudster Bringing Immigrants). My status changed drastically, , I had a BMW 328is convertible and a Porsche 911 with a private plate - 911 OMO and living in a council flat and signing on.

I went to Moonlighting every Friday and drank champagne and danced to music supplied by DJ Pace and Skills. I became foolish - I remember one night I spent over 1000 pounds on just champagne at the club and had no money for petrol so I walked home. My downfall, Greed and selfishness inevitably led to my downfall -

I got involved with a CIA (Cash Investing Agent) and we did a couple of GMTs (Good Money Transfers) but he later turned out to be a CID (Cop in Disguise). I was under surveillance and I did not even know. I left the NHS (Nigerian Housing Scheme) early that morning with about 12 different cheque books to go and do my business. They followed me onto the high road and it was then it hit me that something was wrong. I could not leave all that evidence in my car so I started chewing my cheque books. I ate 8 before they pulled me over. They read me my rights and all that crap and all I could say was "OGA, water please!"

Sunny_bobo:


he sounded like a Canadian born Chinese living in Germany and studying French.

so I started chewing my cheque books. I ate 8 before they pulled me over. They read me my rights and all that crap and all I could say was "OGA, water please!"

lmao, very funny, you should write a book titled "the life and times of a Nigerian hustler in the UK"

btw, what happened after the arrest, did they deport you? did you cry on the plane? lol, please conclude this super-story I'm so loving it!

Sunny_bobo:



I got involved with a CIA (Cash Investing Agent) and we did a couple of GMTs (Good Money Transfers) but he later turned out to be a CID (Cop in Disguise). I was under surveillance and I did not even know. I left the NHS (Nigerian Housing Scheme) early that morning with about 12 different cheque books to go and do my business. They followed me onto the high road and it was then it hit me that something was wrong. I could not leave all that evidence in my car so I started chewing my cheque books. I ate 8 before they pulled me over. They read me my rights and all that crap and all I could say was "OGA, water please!"

lwkmd this one dey crack my ribs>

Yur story ehy?!

Sunny_bobo:

He spoke with a strong Nigerian accent but he messed the whole language up by slanging - he sounded like a Canadian born Chinese living in Germany and studying French. I had not been in the country for long but I could tell that Omo (my man) was trying hard to be British.

Heheh!

Shouldnt dhiz b in da joke sekshun?

Funny one,nice script

You missed out mama calabar joint or club afrigue in canning town.Typical

Extremely not funny but extremely very foolish - fu ck you writer.

not funny. you insinuating the real u.k fraudsters are yorubas?

the poster is obviously making up stories and I don't think he intended to direct the joke at yorubas. loosen up and have a little fun!

ALL NA JOKE, 9JA FLAVOUR.

Comingo:

not funny. you insinuating the real u.k fraudsters are yorubas?

can't you guys take a damn joke?

vikiviko:

ALL NA JOKE, 9JA FLAVOUR.

You call this real show of cowardice a joke. 9ja don suffer.

AjaraEwuro:

Extremely not funny but extremely very foolish - fu ck you writer.

U r annoyed because I dedfied ur pleas and went ahead to tell ur story here.

IDIOT!!

Sunny_bobo:

U r annoyed because I dedfied your pleas and went ahead to tell your story here.
IDIOT!!

okay now its okay no quarreling, they didn't know it was a joke. where's the rest of the story?

@AjaraEwuro

Which ones now - he don te wey u log on

u dey jail?

hala at your boy.

blacksta: @AjaraEwuro

Which ones now - he don te wey u log on

u dey jail?

hala at your boy.

My brother abeg help me ask am.

O M G