WHAT IS PHLEGMATIC
The phlegmatic temperament is traditionally associated with water. People with this temperament may be inward and private, thoughtful, reasonable, calm, patient, caring and tolerant. They tend to have a rich inner life, seek a quiet peaceful atmosphere and be content with themselves.

Below are the list of what to do if you are married to a phlegmatic husband/wife.

1. Give him peace, his primary motivation in life is to avoid conflict and chaos. If he comes home to meet children screeming, kitchen torn apart or a wife who is "ready to kill someone" he will immediately retreat to the settee, TV, or fall asleep quickly. It is his way of "escaping the madness", make your home a refuge from the storm.

2. Create a peaceful atmosphere with music, candlelight and good scheduling of domestic events.

3. Give the phlegmatic spouse plenty of advance notice about upcoming events, if there is one thing they cannot stand, it is a sudden change of plans. For example he/she may set his/her heart set on watching TV and suddenly you spring a dinner party at the joneses. They are generally slow to warm up to an idea, and need to prepare themselves ahead of time.

4. Allow him to relax and don't see the relaxation as laziness. It is an emotional need.

5. Praise them, this is the key that can really turn your relationship. Start noticing thier fine qualities and begin expressing sincere praise and honest appreciation for them. As you do they will eventually begin to rest more sincerely in your relationship and believe that you are serious about your words.

6. If you are married to a phlegmatic, remember to build up thier self-worth and calm thier fears and give them the peaceful moments they need. They need you to build thier self worth with loving re-assurance instead of criticising and belittling them.

7. Re-assure them that they are valuable human being even if they do not accomplished anything of great value according to the world's standard. Your easy-going spouse may never achieve the sort of success the world applauds. That is why they need your applause so much.

8. Frequently remind them of thier wonderful qualities, that people love them, that they are loyal and hardworking.

9. Ask God to really help you believing in your phlegmatic husband or wife, if you are married to one because they may not seem big on the accomplishments, but they will have substance.

10. As you genuinely show that you believe in phlegmatics, they will come to believe in themselves and others will believe in them too.

11. Give loving motivation, don't nag at them.

Nice one

COOLU

laurel03:
Nice one

thanks

2sizzlin:
COOLU

I appreciate.

i think i am phlegmatic.

crotonite:
i think i am phlegmatic.

really are you sure, have you accessed it, because am going to write a post on others, they are majorly four, so that you can really access yourself and also your woman.

This is definitely me

Aremu01:
This is definitely me

really!

Phlegmatic me..

misreal:
Phlegmatic me..

phlegmatic you? Why not wait till I give you the remaining three, so that you can fully access yourself, although you know yourself better than me.

op, thanks for this.

I am married to a phlegmatic and I'm so enjoying the peace breezing out of him and our relationship. My husband is 60% phlegmatic and 40% melancholy. One major thing about phlegmatic person is that they treasure peace and peaceful coexistence so much, and they can only enjoy their relationship with a peaceful person. A troublesome person is a no-no for them.


I am 60% melancholy and 40% sanguine.


With that combination, we are perfect match........ since we've both decided to work on our weaknesses.



Over 10 years and just starting!

greatgod2012:
op, thanks for this.

I am married to a phlegmatic and I'm so enjoying the peace breezing out of him and our relationship. My husband is 60% phlegmatic and 40% melancholy. One major thing about phlegmatic person is that they treasure peace and peaceful coexistence so much, and they can only enjoy their relationship with a peaceful person. A troublesome person is a no-no for them.


I am 60% melancholy and 40% sanguine.


With that combination, we are perfect match........ since we've both decided to work on our weaknesses.



Over 10 years and just starting!

God bless your marriage.

Nutase:

hmmmm

greatgod2012:
op, thanks for this.

I am married to a phlegmatic and I'm so enjoying the peace breezing out of him and our relationship. My husband is 60% phlegmatic and 40% melancholy. One major thing about phlegmatic person is that they treasure peace and peaceful coexistence so much, and they can only enjoy their relationship with a peaceful person. A troublesome person is a no-no for them.


I am 60% melancholy and 40% sanguine.


With that combination, we are perfect match........ since we've both decided to work on our weaknesses.



Over 10 years and just starting!

I wish you the best of luck and love in your marriage. I love peaceful homes.

luciouscookie:

I wish you the best of luck and love in your marriage. I love peaceful homes.

Amen

Lovely writeup. Thanks op. I used to think my hubby's primary temperament was melancholy till I read this. Now I see he's even 95% phleg and 5% san. I'm a cholphleg and u can imagine the combination . Its been 4years of peaceful loving life. I thank God and I av no complaints. The essence of this temperament differences has helped me learnt to love and understand people for their uniqueness and help encourage them overcome their weaknesses where necessary. More ink to ur pen op.

chriskosherbal:
phlegmatic you? Why not wait till I give you the remaining three, so that you can fully access yourself, although you know yourself better than me.

I already know the characters of phlegmatic person.I am one..

misreal:
I already know the characters of phlegmatic person.I am one..

is ok

Good job, @op. I would add that every young couple and intending couple should take the time to study temperaments. This will help in understanding the person you married/plan to marry and also foster tolerance among you. To this end, my pick for a few books to read will be, The Spirit Controlled Temperament, by Tim LaHaye and Why You Act The Way You Do, which I am not sure of the author now.

Op weldone.Nice piece

chriskosherbal:
WHAT IS PHLEGMATIC
The phlegmatic temperament is traditionally associated with water. People with this temperament may be inward and private, thoughtful, reasonable, calm, patient, caring and tolerant. They tend to have a rich inner life, seek a quiet peaceful atmosphere and be content with themselves.

Below are the list of what to do if you are married to a phlegmatic husband/wife.

1. Give him peace, his primary motivation in life is to avoid conflict and chaos. If he comes home to meet children screeming, kitchen torn apart or a wife who is "ready to kill someone" he will immediately retreat to the settee, TV, or fall asleep quickly. It is his way of "escaping the madness", make your home a refuge from the storm.

2. Create a peaceful atmosphere with music, candlelight and good scheduling of domestic events.

3. Give the phlegmatic spouse plenty of advance notice about upcoming events, if there is one thing they cannot stand, it is a sudden change of plans. For example he/she may set his/her heart set on watching TV and suddenly you spring a dinner party at the joneses. They are generally slow to warm up to an idea, and need to prepare themselves ahead of time.

4. Allow him to relax and don't see the relaxation as laziness. It is an emotional need.

5. Praise them, this is the key that can really turn your relationship. Start noticing thier fine qualities and begin expressing sincere praise and honest appreciation for them. As you do they will eventually begin to rest more sincerely in your relationship and believe that you are serious about your words.

6. If you are married to a phlegmatic, remember to build up thier self-worth and calm thier fears and give them the peaceful moments they need. They need you to build thier self worth with loving re-assurance instead of criticising and belittling them.

7. Re-assure them that they are valuable human being even if they do not accomplished anything of great value according to the world's standard. Your easy-going spouse may never achieve the sort of success the world applauds. That is why they need your applause so much.

8. Frequently remind them of thier wonderful qualities, that people love them, that they are loyal and hardworking.

9. Ask God to really help you believing in your phlegmatic husband or wife, if you are married to one because they may not seem big on the accomplishments, but they will have substance.

10. As you genuinely show that you believe in phlegmatics, they will come to believe in themselves and others will believe in them too.

11. Give loving motivation, don't nag at them.

op,please if you are an expert in personality development,help me cos im a melancholic and my life is very uneasy.i get blue very often n i feel worthless now.friends who come my way dont understand me and hurt me so i distant myself from them.im over sensitive and emotional and sometimes i wish i had someone who understands me to talk to.please advise me and give me tips if you can op.my life is very uninteresting and crying has become a normal thing to me although im a guy of 22 .you can imagine how embarrased i would feel letting myself be known that im 22 and still a cry baby.i need help,advice,and tips to help me develop myself.thanks for such a thread op.

JonTal:
Good job, @op. I would add that every young couple and intending couple should take the time to study temperaments. This will help in understanding the person you married/plan to marry and also foster tolerance among you. To this end, my pick for a few books to read will be, The Spirit Controlled Temperament, by Tim LaHaye and Why You Act The Way You Do, which I am not sure of the author now.

thanks I appreciate

JonTal:
Good job, @op. I would add that every young couple and intending couple should take the time to study temperaments. This will help in understanding the person you married/plan to marry and also foster tolerance among you. To this end, my pick for a few books to read will be, The Spirit Controlled Temperament, by Tim LaHaye and Why You Act The Way You Do, which I am not sure of the author now.

Do you have the pdf file of both recommended books.

OP: You have done well.
I always appreciate those who contribute to people's lives especially on Nairaland.
We should all play our part to make the world a better place.

JonTal:
Good job, @op. I would add that every young couple and intending couple should take the time to study temperaments. This will help in understanding the person you married/plan to marry and also foster tolerance among you. To this end, my pick for a few books to read will be, The Spirit Controlled Temperament, by Tim LaHaye and Why You Act The Way You Do, which I am not sure of the author now.

1. Why you act the way you do.
2. Spirit controlled temperaments.
3. Opposite attracts.


They are all written by Tim Lahaye.


The books were recommended to us by our marriage counselor when we were dating. And they're all inspired by God. They are wonderful piece. I also support that every intending couples should read these books, it goes a long way in knowing oneself and the intending partner better. You both know each other's strengths and weaknesses when it comes to temperaments. It also assist in strengthening each other's weaknesses.


They could be found on Amazon. com
and other Christian bookshops.


Peace!

chriskosherbal:
God bless your marriage.

Amen, thanks. And you too.

luciouscookie:

I wish you the best of luck and love in your marriage. I love peaceful homes.

Thanks.
God bless your home too.

Israel43:
op,please if you are an expert in personality development,help me cos im a melancholic and my life is very uneasy.i get blue very often n i feel worthless now.friends who come my way dont understand me and hurt me so i distant myself from them.im over sensitive and emotional and sometimes i wish i had someone who understands me to talk to.please advise me and give me tips if you can op.my life is very uninteresting and crying has become a normal thing to me although im a guy of 22 .you can imagine how embarrased i would feel letting myself be known that im 22 and still a cry baby.i need help,advice,and tips to help me develop myself.thanks for such a thread op.

I am not an expert in personality development, but I will suggest you get the book.........Why you act the way you do" by Tim Lahaye. It will help you to know yourself better, your strengths and weaknesses and how to work on your temperamental weaknesses.


Then, if you're a Christian who believes in the Holy spirit, invite Holy spirit into your life to assist you in controlling your temperaments.


You can also get the book.....spirit controlled temperaments by the same author.

greatgod2012:




I am not an expert in personality development, but I will suggest you get the book.........Why you act the way you do" by Tim Lahaye. It will help you to know yourself better, your strengths and weaknesses and how to work on your temperamental weaknesses.


Then, if you're a Christian who believes in the Holy spirit, invite Holy spirit into your life to assist you in controlling your temperaments.


You can also get the book.....spirit controlled temperaments by the same author.

God bless and keep you op

W

greatgod2012:





1. Why you act the way you do.
2. Spirit controlled temperaments.
3. Opposite attracts.


They are all written by Tim Lahaye.


The books were recommended to us by our marriage counselor when we were dating. And they're all inspired by God. They are wonderful piece. I also support that every intending couples should read these books, it goes a long way in knowing oneself and the intending partner better. You both know each other's strengths and weaknesses when it comes to temperaments. It also assist in strengthening each other's weaknesses.


They could be found on Amazon. com
and other Christian bookshops.


Peace!

Thanks very much, @Big . It's been a long time I actually read them last, but the knowledge gained from them never leaves me.

Well done all. This thread is proving to be a very educative and interesting one.