Kobojunkie:
Abroad is littered with so many of such former marriages that started out "culturally compatible" and ended up not so much.

What you call "Cultural compatibility" does not make a marriage. It only gives the illusion of one.

And using a woman for papers, not a marriage either.

There is cultural compatibility, It is difficult for a Nigerian raised in a conservative environment(I am not talking of lagos style of raising) to fully assimilate into the fast/liberal life of the west.
Also many of these women are advanced in age, cos in the west women play away their 20s and start looking for a guy to tie down when they are close to 40 years old.

oldienavie:

There is cultural compatibility, It is difficult for a Nigerian raised in a conservative environment(I am not talking of lagos style of raising) to fully assimilate into the fast/liberal life of the west.
Also many of these women are advanced in age, cos in the west women play away their 20s and start looking for a guy to tie down when they are close to 40 years old.

Can you shed more light on what you mean raised in a "conservative environment"?

Advanced in age? There are women in their 40s also seeking mates, so I am not certain what you are trying to get at there.

Kobojunkie:
Can you shed more light on what you mean raised in a "conservative environment"?

Advanced in age? There are women in their 40s also seeking mates, so I am not certain what you are trying to get at there.

In the west, smoking is considered acceptable, divorce is not a big deal even in the church, it is okay to drink alcohol etc.
My upbringing, same as many people raised in my environment sees smoking as a terrible sin, divorce abomination , drinking alcohol is also not an acceptable thing where I was raised, infact I have never tasted alcohol nor smoked in more than 30 years of my life.
I cannot even enter a club, and here in the west, that is where most people relax and network.
Compare that with the western lifestyle ?
Also, I am referring to men in their 30s who are planning to settle down.

oldienavie:

In the west, smoking is considered acceptable, divorce is not a big deal even in the church, it is okay to drink alcohol etc.
My upbringing, same as many people raised in my environment sees smoking as a terrible sin, divorce abomination , drinking alcohol is also not an acceptable thing where I was raised, infact I have never tasted alcohol nor smoked in more than 30 years of my life.
I cannot even enter a club, and here in the west, that is where most people relax and network.
Compare that with the western lifestyle ?
Also, I am referring to men in their 30s who are planning to settle down.

So in the "west" where you live, everyone smokes, drinks, clubs and gets divorced?

Even Jesus Christ did not preach the kind of holy standards you were raised by for sure. Jesus Christ never said smoking, drinking and all divorce is sin. Jesus Christ drank with sinners and He enter their party sef. Even Jesus Christ talk say divorce is allowed in the case of fornication but I see say your own standard high pass even for that one.

Seems your mind is made up as far as what you want the west to look like. All I can say is goodluck!

Kobojunkie:
So in the "west" where you live, everyone smokes, drinks, clubs and gets divorced?

Even Jesus Christ did not preach the kind of holy standards you were raised by for sure. Jesus Christ never said smoking, drinking and all divorce is sin. Jesus Christ drank with sinners and He enter their party sef. Even Jesus Christ talk say divorce is allowed in the case of fornication but I see say your own standard high pass even for that one.

Seems your mind is made up as far as what you want the west to look like. All I can say is goodluck!

Your response is unbelievable, so it is a crime for a man to avoid drinking alcohol, smoking and clubbing ?
Did I tell you it was a sin ? I only told you I was raised to avoid it and while as a grown man I do have a choice to do these things I choose not to .

What exactly have I said that should prompt such an aggressive response from you ?

oldienavie:

Your response is unbelievable, so it is a crime for a man to avoid drinking alcohol, smoking and clubbing ?
Did I tell you it was a sin ? I only told you I was raised to avoid it and while as a grown man I do have a choice to do these things I choose not to .

What exactly have I said that should prompt such an aggressive response from you ?

I didn't say it is a crime. You mentioned the church and earlier you had indicated a Christian background as well. So I assumed that your reason, you somehow link to Christianity and I felt I needed to make it clear that your upbringing is not on par with Christianity either.

I didn't give you an aggressive response, just that I also live in the west and I don't condemn folks put here for choices different from mine in the way you do.

Kobojunkie:
I didn't say it is a crime. You mentioned the church and earlier you had indicated a Christian background as well. So I assumed that your reason, you somehow link to Christianity and I felt I needed to make it clear that your upbringing is not on par with Christianity either.

I didn't give you an aggressive response, just that I also live in the west and I don't condemn folks put here for choices different from mine in the way you do .

Again, how/where did I condemn people with different opinion from mine. I only said, cultural compatibility is important and went on to provide examples of how differences in orientation can be brought on by our environment.
I never said my own way of life was the best, I only stated that it was different from what is largely obtainable in the west largely due to being raised in a different cultural setting....
So tell me, how did you infere the bolded ?

oldienavie:

Again, how/where did I condemn people with different opinion from mine. I only said, cultural compatibility is important and went on to provide examples of how differences in orientation can be brought on by our environment.
I never said my own way of life was the best, I only stated that it was different from what is largely obtainable in the west largely due to being raised in a different cultural setting....
So tell me, how did you infere the bolded ?

You live in the west but you claim you are culturally incompatible with those who live in the west with you,
and you go ahead to list reasons that make no sense considering not everyone in the west smokes, drinks, clubs, or even considers divorce a habit. What do you think you do by that, you condemn them all as being unworthy.

Kobojunkie:
You live in the west but you claim you are culturally incompatible with those who live in the west with you,
and you go ahead to list reasons that make no sense considering not everyone in the west smokes, drinks, clubs, or even considers divorce a habit. What do you think you do by that, you condemn them all as being unworthy.

I get it now, you are projecting your own impression of what I said and responding to that, not that you are responding to what I wrote. I think it makes sense why you would come off the way you did.
However, you have to understand that people are different, for example, your aggressive reaction to what I wrote(which was just stating my opinion) does not respect my right to have an opinion.
Isn't that ironic ? You consider my opinion as making no sense , you are unable to respect that someone would have a different perspective from you.
All through my write up I never said people who smoked, or drank or clubbed were bad, I only pointed out that I didnt find them compatible yet you are unable to process the possibility that someone could have such an opinion...

You see the irony here ?

oldienavie:
1. I get it now, you are projecting your own impression of what I said and responding to that, not that you are responding to what I wrote. I think it makes sense why you would come off the way you did.

2. However, you have to understand that people are different, for example, your aggressive reaction to what I wrote(which was just stating my opinion) does not respect my right to have an opinion.
Isn't that ironic ?

3. You consider my opinion as making no sense , you are unable to respect that someone would have a different perspective from you.
All through my write up I never said people who smoked, or drank or clubbed were bad, I only pointed out that I didnt find them compatible yet you are unable to process the possibility that someone could have such an opinion...

You see the irony here ?

1. I wouldn't go as far as to claim I am projecting. I am allowed to have an opinion, am I not, since all you put forth are your opinions, right?

2. Again, your perception has no bearing on my reality. There is no aggression here. Simply stated my opinion of what you post is all. And I am well aware that my opinion changes nothing in the end.

3. Well, you have an opinion which you stated, and I reacted to let you see what I also see from my end of things is all.

I didn't say you said people were bad... only pointed out that you condemned all those in the west for the habits you found unworthy in the few. Do you deny this too? .

oldienavie:

I get it now, you are projecting your own impression of what I said and responding to that, not that you are responding to what I wrote. I think it makes sense why you would come off the way you did.
However, you have to understand that people are different, for example, your aggressive reaction to what I wrote(which was just stating my opinion) does not respect my right to have an opinion.
Isn't that ironic ? You consider my opinion as making no sense , you are unable to respect that someone would have a different perspective from you.
All through my write up I never said people who smoked, or drank or clubbed were bad, I only pointed out that I didnt find them compatible yet you are unable to process the possibility that someone could have such an opinion...

You see the irony here ?

Please you owe no one, I mean, absolutely no one, any explanation for your choice and your way of life. Ignore anyone who has no original opinion but feels cool attacking the opinion of others. You have every right to express yourself

irijuola:


Please you owe no one, I mean, absolutely no one, any explanation for your choice and your way of life. Ignore anyone who has no original opinion but feels cool attacking the opinion of others. You have every right to express yourself

Exactly. That kobo whatever just dy talk rubbish here

okgerald:
Hello,

I am getting married to an American citizen of Nigerian parent. I have a lot to benefit like becoming a citizen myself, leaving Nigeria for good, papers . The thing is i don't feel a thing for her. We were introduced to each other and am not feeling a thing. Is it a good idea to go into this and feign happiness for the rest of my life.

You are heading into hell on earth bro. You just don't know it yet. If she is a great wife you will always loathe her and will one day seek out a replacement that you truly love. And when you do this she will be so heart broken and life threatening events may follow. If she is a bad wife wow, you will be passing through another NYSC (Now Your Suffering Continues) and after she finishes with you you will do another NYSC (Now Your Sapa Continues)...whoever advised you to take this road does not love you at all ohh. It is the road to self destruction oh...

okgerald:
Hello,

I am getting married to an American citizen of Nigerian parent. I have a lot to benefit like becoming a citizen myself, leaving Nigeria for good, papers . The thing is i don't feel a thing for her. We were introduced to each other and am not feeling a thing. Is it a good idea to go into this and feign happiness for the rest of my life.

If you could tolerate her excessess, then go ahead, even the one u love, u still have to tolerate her

okgerald:
Hello,

I am getting married to an American citizen of Nigerian parent. I have a lot to benefit like becoming a citizen myself, leaving Nigeria for good, papers . The thing is i don't feel a thing for her. We were introduced to each other and am not feeling a thing. Is it a good idea to go into this and feign happiness for the rest of my life.

Its called marriage with benefit.
How many people do you think are happy with their marriage? Maybe 25%
Bro, marriage is all about tolerance and care. Unless she's very ugly and her looks will keep reminding you of how much you don't want the marriage in the first place.
Just give it a trial and see how things will turnout.

okgerald:
Hello,

I am getting married to an American citizen of Nigerian parent. I have a lot to benefit like becoming a citizen myself, leaving Nigeria for good, papers . The thing is i don't feel a thing for her. We were introduced to each other and am not feeling a thing. Is it a good idea to go into this and feign happiness for the rest of my life.

I love whom I want to love and unlove whom I want to unlove. This thing called love is not rigid

efficiencie:


You are heading into hell on earth bro. You just don't know it yet. If she is a great wife you will always loathe her and will one day seek out a replacement that you truly love. And when you do this she will be so heart broken and life threatening events may follow. If she is a bad wife wow, you will be passing through another NYSC (Now Your Suffering Continues) and after she finishes with you you will do another NYSC (Now Your Sapa Continues)...whoever advised you to take this road does not love you at all ohh. It is the road to self destruction oh...

The gold digger married the American girl finally. But he is very unhappy now according to him and wants out.