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8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers - Family - Nairaland

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8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by anetuno(m): 12:37pm On Jul 02, 2016


For the best relationship insight and advice, turn to a divorce attorney. After all, every day they have a front-row seat to the kinds of petty drama and missteps that lead couples to split up. 

With that in mind, we asked family law attorneys from across the country to share some of the most obvious signs that a couple is likely to divorce. 

1. They give each other the silent treatment.

“It’s a bad sign if a couple bickers and it results in the silent treatment. Sure, fighting is healthy in a relationship but when it turns from playful to serious on a regular basis — and it ends in stonewalling — that doesn’t bode well for long-term success.” — Jason Levoy, an attorney and divorce coach in New York City

2. Their sex life is lackluster.

“This seems obvious and it is. People can go without sex, but the bottom line is that we are living creatures and sex is a natural desire. Yes, there are relationships that endure without sex, but as a divorce lawyer, it’s not a shock when a client tells me they have gone years without having sex with their partner.” — Randall M. Kessler, an attorney in Atlanta, Georgia

3. They have very little in common. 

“While it’s true that opposites attract, don’t assume that the qualities you fell in love with are going to keep a marriage together. For example, if someone is an extrovert and loves going out until the wee morning hours and the other spouse likes a warm bath at 7 p.m. followed by a glass of milk and a good book, there is no way the couple can sustain this lifestyle distance.” — Lisa Helfend Meyer, a divorce attorney in Los Angeles, California 

4. Their careers always come before the family.  

“It can be a problem when a partner always puts his or her career above everything else, including the relationship. This tends to be true, regardless of the agreement the couple has come to during the marriage. For example, my firm has represented laser-focused military members, whose partners initially agreed to take a backseat and raise the family so the military member could advance. But over the years, the stay-at-home spouse begins to resent the situation. Even the strongest relationships decay over time when one person puts their career aspirations ahead of the relationship.” — Christian Denmon, a divorce attorney in Tampa, Florida 

5. They have contempt for one another. 

“Eye-rolling, belittling and treating each other with disdain are key indicators that a relationship will eventually disintegrate. While spouses don’t have to always see eye-to-eye to have a happy marriage, they do have to respect each other and appreciate their differences, rather than viewing those differences as being signs that the other spouse is stupid or wrong.” — Karen Covy, an attorney and divorce coach in Chicago, Illinois 

6. They don’t respect each other’s love language. 

“Knowing your partner’s love language — being aware of how he or she feels appreciated — is crucial for long-term success in marriage. Although spouses may love each other, they may not feel loved if they have different love languages. For instance, if one spouse shows love by doing helpful things or by buying gifts, but the other receives love through verbal affirmations, loving touch or quality time together, the love may not really be received.” — Dennis A. Cohen, an attorney and mediator in Marina del Rey, California 

7. They’re not honest about their spending. 

“A marriage is a partnership and each person should be accountable to the other for their family’s finances. When the finances are split, it’s easy for both partners to overspend. A couple can keep separate or joint bank accounts, but when there is no transparency on how money is being spent and saved, it’s nearly impossible to set and reach financial goals like buying a home or planning for retirement. It becomes a growing frustration.” — Puja A. Sachdev, a divorce attorney in San Diego, California 

8. They never fight.

“Many spouses tend to avoid awkward situations and problems by either ‘shading the truth’ or ignoring something that has been on their mind. This leads to resentment. This person is your best friend, confidante and lover. You should be able to say anything to them. You should be able to to accept one another’s comments without destroying the bonds of matrimony.” — Douglas S. Kepanis, a divorce attorney in New York City.

© HUFFPOST.COM

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Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by Mskrisx(f): 1:58pm On Jul 02, 2016
Marriage!

13 Likes

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by NifemiOlu(m): 2:29pm On Jul 02, 2016
Waiting...
Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by SWITANN(f): 3:05pm On Jul 02, 2016
HMMM.
Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by Greatzeus(m): 3:38pm On Jul 02, 2016
Posts like these is another opportunity for bachelors and spinsters to learn and prepare and make necessary adjustments.
No.8 though must couples fight ?

33 Likes 3 Shares

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by ancashy(f): 12:15am On Jul 03, 2016
Greatzeus:
Posts like these is another opportunity for bachelors and spinsters to learn and prepare and make necessary adjustments.
No.8 though must couples fight ?
An opportunity they are usually too busy to use.and couples do not literally have to fight just build positive mechanisms for resolving issues and reconciling differences.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by 9Too: 1:11am On Jul 03, 2016
Mskrisx:
.
nwa ebagokwa nuclear. black Friday on point, hope we're save?

1 Like

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by EfemenaXY: 9:27am On Jul 03, 2016
ancashy:
An opportunity they are usually too busy to use.and couples do not literally have to fight just build positive mechanisms for resolving issues and reconciling differences.

Yes, they do.

Not necessarily degrade to physical fighting mind you, but they must at some point have conflict. Without it, they'll never learn how to handle conflict resolution and will be living a pretentious life, which isn't sustainable.

28 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by Drabeey(m): 11:40am On Jul 03, 2016
Number 9:
watching TELEMUNDO ..
As funny as this is... Its the truth



Anyways

DrabeeyWasHere

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by Nobody: 11:41am On Jul 03, 2016
Let me add mine. grin

9) keeping vendetta. When spouses have misunderstanding, no matter what it may be, they should make out time to discuss their differences and come to an agreement, is wrong planning retribution on ur spouse, and it destroys marriages.

10 Likes

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by priscaoge(f): 11:41am On Jul 03, 2016
9. They have Edible Catering outside their marriage

57 Likes 3 Shares

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by Dottore: 11:42am On Jul 03, 2016
Chai
Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by zealz4u(m): 11:42am On Jul 03, 2016
I wonder wat married men do when konjI show up & d number 1 sign Is already existing. how do u make d move, wat response do u get? grin

2 Likes

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by missKiffy(f): 11:42am On Jul 03, 2016
I agree with the points, opposites do attract but when the difference is too much and they seem to have nothing in common, it can spell doom for the marriage

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Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by larion: 11:43am On Jul 03, 2016
Rubbish!

Unacceptable crap.

Just look at d post, California, Florida, New York, Illinois.... Bla bla.

One reason why Nigerians marriages don't last is because they use oyinbo man template.

This is why I call the above rubbish.

Example, even in south Africa here, the rule is wife brings 50%, husband brings 50%, either for rent, or food or children's school fees.

But in Nigeria, Husband brings 100%, its when the wife balance well that she can contribute her own, max 30% in most cases. Now imagine a naija man vexing for his naija wife because she didn't drop 50% for the money to buy milk and junior's school fees......is that marriage not destined to fail.

Nonsense! In oyinbo man land, some wife are permitted to have s*x with other men as long as she informs her husband before the did is done nd so also the husband ca romance other women as long as he informs the wife....Point number 6 above, maybe this can be called respecting each others love language.... But a wife expecting to be screwed by another man while telling his husband in naija is destined to see trouble.

Career before family..... Crap! If that is what is gonna put food on the table and everybody in the house understands then so be it.....mark my words every body in the house understands...this should be the key to marriage survival....Understanding!

Annie idibia and Lola okoye understands the kind of husband they have , to God be the glory...their marriages are still waxing strong. Tiwa savage refused to understand that she will keep working and Teebillz will keep spending and not contributing, she refused to understand that Teebillz will still be chasing others, I'm not saying it's good, but she should have known before locking the marriage .....what has happened today, the marriage is out of the window.

Are you telling me Peter okoye or 2 face has not done some on the silly things Teebillz did? Did we hear noise outside? There was a picture of Tuface kissing Pero after his wedding with Annie, bloggers so much posted that pixs, but did there marriage fail? NO!

I can go on and on....but bottom line is let's try to sieve wat we consume, every marriage is unique, what works in jacks marriage might not work in Ade's marriage.

But wen Ade is trying to use jacks own template as his own, then Ade is looking for trouble. Most marriages crash because some couples have been painting this idea from what they read in novels and watch on TV, paloma and Diego, gardeners daughter and telemundo.

After painting this sweet picture in their heads, they go into their weddings looking for the "happily ever after" which in most cases is not existing.....and once dey go through episode 3 season 5 of their marriages, they start thinking divorce.......

At OP, una nor fit just come dey copy everything for internet dump for nairaland.... Imagine California, Illinois and Florida in your post, to people in Lagos, Enugu and kano reading on Nairaland..... No be trouble una dey find.

Some stupid girls and boys who are married and have been coping with their spouse's tight schedule at work will read point 4 and wires will spark and start thinking of how to fight their spouse for putting career before family....forgetting that in this unique naija economy that might be the only way to put good food on the table. Whereas, the oyinbo man in Florida has most things done well by the govt already and doesn't need to overwork.

Just use your head and think ahead....each marriage is peculiar ......

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Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by Nobody: 11:45am On Jul 03, 2016
Marriage is not for everybody, end of story.

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Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by manuel80(m): 11:45am On Jul 03, 2016
Hmm. True
Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by JoeCutie(m): 11:45am On Jul 03, 2016
To those who put all their hopes in marriage, thinking that marriage is the ultimate source of happiness, you might wanna have a rethink. If you always want and wait for someone to come and make you happy, then you're really not living...just existing. Find what makes you happy and do it to the letter. Be happy, that's the ultimate thing you owe yourself. And for the records, marriage hasn't always brought about that happiness. Going into marriage is like admitting to yourself that "Yes, I'm now ready to compromise (everything)". If you're not ready for marriage, do not get married. Do not get married because "all my mates are married". And for what's worth, love isn't the most ideal reason to get married. I, for one, will never marry for love. Why? Love alone is not enough.

In an era where divorce is the order of the day, a couple - a very old one - are seen here doing their thing: married, living and loving. If you really wanna get married, stay married and happy, and grow old with your partner, be ready to tolerate and compromise. Imagine a divorce free generation...it begins with you (not your partner)
.

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Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by DJHANDSOME(m): 11:45am On Jul 03, 2016
Nice!
Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by missKiffy(f): 11:46am On Jul 03, 2016
larion:
Rubbish
What is rubbish there now

2 Likes

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by McBrooklyn(m): 11:46am On Jul 03, 2016
Well, since am single and dating and I ain't even marrying anytime sooner . . . Ion give a flying f**k but who knows someone might does angry

2 Likes

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by accountbalance: 11:46am On Jul 03, 2016
Make money first jor.

At least you would have solved 80% of your problem before marriage starts bringing it's own palava.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by Clone2020(m): 11:47am On Jul 03, 2016
Number 8 and number 1 contradict each other. How can you say it's bad to give silent treatment and bickering then you say it's also good to fight??

2 Likes

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by kareem492(m): 11:47am On Jul 03, 2016
Ok
Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by darlenese(f): 11:47am On Jul 03, 2016
grin
Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by Odunharry(m): 11:48am On Jul 03, 2016
Hmmm..




Vote Fynestboi as Mr Nairaland

3 Likes

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by vickylincon(m): 11:50am On Jul 03, 2016
Are they God?
Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by loadedvibes: 11:50am On Jul 03, 2016
Lie
Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by tammie24: 11:50am On Jul 03, 2016
I agree with some of these points



Especially when couples never fight


It good to air your differences once in a while

1 Like

Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by helphelp: 11:50am On Jul 03, 2016
Lies
Re: 8 Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Divorce Lawyers by MrObontami: 11:52am On Jul 03, 2016
2. Their sex life is lackluster.


“This seems obvious and it is. People can go
without sex, but the bottom line is that we
are living creatures and sex is a natural
desire. Yes, there are relationships that
endure without sex, but as a divorce lawyer,
it’s not a shock when a client tells me they
have gone years without having sex with



true cool

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