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I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) - Romance - Nairaland

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I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by engrjoseph208: 5:28pm On Jul 05, 2016
I have been a guest on nairaland for 4 years. This is my first topic here. PLEASE DO NOT READ WITHOUT GIVING YOUR COMMENT, THANKS.

In December 2014, I met this beautiful woman while I was enjoying the xmas and new year festivals with my parents in Ibadan. She is schooling here but lives in Ogun state. I never thought we could go far, so I wanted to chop and clean mouth. I was serving at the time and I told her I was serving at Abuja instead of Kwara state. After my NYSC I told her I have settled down in Abuja instead of Oyo state. I have a well-paid job and live comfortably but everything is in Oyo state and not FCT. I didn’t want her to know I am living nearby because I didn’t see a future with her at the time. She didn’t appear to me as a good girl when we met, I thought she was a runs girl but now I know I was wrong, she is even more innocent than me and she gets all I crave for in a lady. Well, I picked her up by the roadside but I didn’t get to sleep with her but we became friends and she still thinks I served, live and work in FCT. We usually see when there is a festivity or holiday like easter, xmas etc. under the pretext that I came to celebrate with my parents. Anyways, I want to propose to her now. I don’t know how to tell her the truth because we are now in love and I do not want to lose her. PLEASE NAIRALANDERS HOW DO I GO ABOUT THIS WITHOUT LOSING HER.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Nobody: 5:29pm On Jul 05, 2016
What makes you think she's not forming in d 1st place. Girl see you carry car to pick her up, nysc level for that matter. Which gal no go think say opportunity for marriage don show so make I behave like wify material? Guy do more testing

However if ur testing don sure, then its simple. Plan a time out with her as in take her out. When u come back, start d talk gradually till all her attention is gotten

Go like .."When I met u and picked you up what did u think I had in mind?" Or what kinda man dyu think would pick you up at such a nite time?" You'll be suprised at d response. She probably might know u have such in mind but taking time to also watch you closely.

And if she dosent, just confess to her that u had a playboy intension but she made u fall in love like d-banj

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by sexxydiva(f): 5:30pm On Jul 05, 2016
A liar will always be a liar! grin

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by engrjoseph208: 5:32pm On Jul 05, 2016
sexxydiva:
A liar will always be a liar! grin
sis pls save a bro. if u were in her shoe how would u feel?
Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Nobody: 5:34pm On Jul 05, 2016
If the love isn't one sided believe me you have nothing to be afraid of. Tell her the truth, if she leaves she doesn't deserve you! She feels nothing!

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Nobody: 5:35pm On Jul 05, 2016
U can either continue lying, tell her You got transferred back to Your present location grin or You man up & tell her the truth & why You had to lie in the first place shocked

I don't think it's good starting a serious relationship based on lies anyway...because surely one day she will find out.

Good luck.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Holywizard: 5:36pm On Jul 05, 2016
Just take her to a romantic place & start begging b4 telling her de truth. If u can shed tears, better.

SHE WILL BE UPSET bt due to say marriage is involved, she wont act stupid.

Do it now b4 she finds out by herself

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by engrjoseph208: 5:38pm On Jul 05, 2016
Vikings007:
U can either continue lying, tell her You got transferred back to Your present location grin or You man up & tell her the truth & why You had to lie in the first place shocked

I don't think it's good starting a serious relationship based on lies anyway...because surely one day she will find out.

Good luck.
bros i have thought about this too but nothing to back the NYSC issue up. My NYSC was at Kwara state not FCT. She had no idea I was in Kwara all the time I was serving and our communication was great.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Chrisrare: 5:40pm On Jul 05, 2016
Marriage is just overrated, just tell her u've been transfered, simple. Some peeps go just dey sweat over nothing. If u get over this, dont lie to her again since ur serious about her.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by 0ubenji(m): 5:45pm On Jul 05, 2016
Bro..Man up nd spill it..
Mk her undastand u had the option to lie buh u chose not to..dat virtue serves enuf as a convincin. Statement that u mean well..
She asks Y u lied?..
Simple..
That u actuali dint see a future init initially..but she has proven to u indeed THE BEST THING juz apund to u; meeting her..

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by njiasi30(f): 5:48pm On Jul 05, 2016
Toor, grin d foundation was built on lies. It's always gd 2 b transparent no matter what. It's nt a must dat every relationship ends in marriage Na. U see were ur chop and clean mouth ve landed u grin .Honestly, if I advice u, I will b lying 2. cheesy

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by IRserveMyComent(f): 5:49pm On Jul 05, 2016
Yes tell her you lied all along. Make sure you tell her the reason you lied, and also the reason you are opening up which is that she has proven she deserves your respect and sincerity. Choose your words well. Then propose to her. Never propose without telling her the whole truth.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by engrjoseph208: 5:50pm On Jul 05, 2016
1) I don’t know whether to tell her that I lied to her because I didn’t see us together at first (THIS IS THE TRUTH). Will she still love me like before knowing fully well this will break her heart? More worrisome is the fact that I do tell her that I have loved her since the first time we met.

2) Or maybe I should tell her that I intentionally lied because that was the only way I could date a girl in the past. That I preferred a long distance relationship while growing up. This would still hurt her when she thought about many of our gists where I pretended I was at Abuja and not Kwara state/Oyo state as the case may be.

3) I was also considering lying to her that I relocated from ABJ but my NYSC was at Kwara not FCT. No explanation to justify withholding that information for more than a year.

GUYS AND LADIES PLS HELP A BROTHER OUT. MY MIND IS IN TROUBLE AND SHE THINKS I AM FINE.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Nobody: 5:52pm On Jul 05, 2016
engrjoseph208:
bros i have thought about this too but nothing to back the NYSC issue up. My NYSC was at Kwara state not FCT. She had no idea I was in Kwara all the time I was serving and our communication was great.
LOL, You want to continue lying abi?

Telling her the truth is the best option, if You really care bout her. That's the ONLY solution.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Ahmed0336(m): 5:53pm On Jul 05, 2016
I don't see a big deal in telling her the TRUTH. No need to continue lying bro

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by KRISTON(m): 5:55pm On Jul 05, 2016
your lust for good girls....ruined everything. . .i wish i could help

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Nobody: 5:59pm On Jul 05, 2016
engrjoseph208:
1) I don’t know whether to tell her that I lied to her because I didn’t see us together at first (THIS IS THE TRUTH). Will she still love me like before knowing fully well this will break her heart? More worrisome is the fact that I do tell her that I have loved her since the first time we met. MY MIND IS IN TROUBLE AND SHE THINKS I AM FINE.
The truth shallwill set You free. What will be will be, You don't have to lie to make someone love You.

If after telling her the truth she still decides to end everything, then maybe You guys were never meant to be together in the first place.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by krak101(m): 6:00pm On Jul 05, 2016
First things first. Clear the backlog of lies cause she'll definitely find out that's if she doesn't know already. Then you can start fresh by explaining yourself and initial intentions which led to the lies. BTW... You just got caught in your own Web grin

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by schumastic(m): 6:00pm On Jul 05, 2016
engrjoseph208:
1) I don’t know whether to tell her that I lied to her because I didn’t see us together at first (THIS IS THE TRUTH). Will she still love me like before knowing fully well this will break her heart? More worrisome is the fact that I do tell her that I have loved her since the first time we met.

2) Or maybe I should tell her that I intentionally lied because that was the only way I could date a girl in the past. That I preferred a long distance relationship while growing up. This would still hurt her when she thought about many of our gists where I pretended I was at Abuja and not Kwara state/Oyo state as the case may be.

3) I was also considering lying to her that I relocated from ABJ but my NYSC was at Kwara not FCT. No explanation to justify withholding that information for more than a year.

GUYS AND LADIES PLS HELP A BROTHER OUT. MY MIND IS IN TROUBLE AND SHE THINKS I AM FINE.

YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS

1.END THE LIE WITH THE ULTIMATE LIE, JUST TELL HER YOU GOT RELOCATED TO A BRANCH IN OYO AND THAT WILL SETTLE IT..

2.IF YOU INSIST ON TELLING HER THE TRUTH, THEN YOU MUST MAKE SURE SHE IS IN A VERY GOOD MOOD BEFORE YOU TELL HER AND IF SHE ASK YOU WHY YOU LIED, LET HER KNOW YOU DID IT CUS YOU WERE SCARED SHE WILL LEAVE YOU ONCE SHE IS DONE SCHOOLING.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by MzzTega(f): 6:11pm On Jul 05, 2016
You've gotten all the advice you seek. smiley

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by saintdennis(m): 6:20pm On Jul 05, 2016
You met her in Dec. '14 and till today July 5 2016 she hasn't been able to figure out u ain't in fct? Haba

Bro why do u wanna marry a dummy?

Anyway no need telling her the truth since she's either too dvll to figure it out or actually playing dvll to deceive you.

In either case just inform her you've been transferred to ibadan or just got a job in i.b so you moving back fully.
That will do the trick.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by ebbybest(f): 6:21pm On Jul 05, 2016
This is how it should Go....
Take her out with the ring in ur pockets, have fun eat, drink and laugh together.
Then you start this way-----
Baby there is sumtine i have been meaning to tell you. I have been keeping it away from you but i think its the right time to tell you. But what ever it is that am gonna tell you, please find a place in your heart to forgive me. I love you and i mean it each and every time i tell you i love you.
I have always lied to you about my self. The truth is i never served in abuja, was never living in abuja and am nt working in abuja. I work in Uyo no abuja. I lied to you because i never knew we are gonna be this close to each other. I lied to you because i thought our relationship was gonna lead to no where. But i was wrong. Now i have realized that am wrong, i have realized that i you are my source of joy.
Then you kneel and say Please my Love am sorry. You are my perfect half.
Then you bring out the ring and propose to her.....



Thank me letter.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Nobody: 6:30pm On Jul 05, 2016
Trust her with the truth and own up to your faults and failings.

Who knows, it May deepen your love for each other.

And who knows, she May already be aware and just waiting to see if you love her enough to respect her with the truth.

Ask yourself if you are in her shoes, would you want her to tell you the truth or not.

Don't start a lifelong commitment based on a foundation of lies. It never ends well cos one day she will get to know accidentally, and she will forever wonder what else you are keeping from her.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by engrjoseph208: 6:43pm On Jul 05, 2016
Ioannes:
Trust her with the truth and own up to your faults and failings.

Who knows, it May deepen your love for each other.

And who knows, she May already be aware and just waiting to see if you love her enough to respect her with the truth.

Ask yourself if you are in her shoes, would you want her to tell you the truth or not.

Don't start a lifelong commitment based on a foundation of lies. It never ends well cos one day she will get to know accidentally, and she will forever wonder what else you are keeping from her.
thanks boss
Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by engrjoseph208: 6:47pm On Jul 05, 2016
Ioannes:
Trust her with the truth and own up to your faults and failings.

Who knows, it May deepen your love for each other.

And who knows, she May already be aware and just waiting to see if you love her enough to respect her with the truth.

Ask yourself if you are in her shoes, would you want her to tell you the truth or not.

Don't start a lifelong commitment based on a foundation of lies. It never ends well cos one day she will get to know accidentally, and she will forever wonder what else you are keeping from her.
thanks sister, but what about her friends and others she might have told about us, how would they handle it? if u were her friend and she has told u a different story before, how would u relate to the truth now? thanks.
Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Nobody: 6:51pm On Jul 05, 2016
The lie isn't much of a bad lie so its forgivable.

1 Like

Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Nobody: 6:52pm On Jul 05, 2016
engrjoseph208:
thanks sister, but what about her friends and others she might have told about us, how would they handle it? if u were her friend and she has told u a different story before, how would u relate to the truth now? thanks.

Lol. I'm a guy.

Anyway, trust her with the truth and also trust her to handle her friends.

Friends don't need to know every nitty gritty detail about what goes on between you two.

Any nosy friend can be told you got a transfer to be close to your sweetheart.

If they aren't satisfied let them go to your place of work and enquire.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by engrjoseph208: 6:53pm On Jul 05, 2016
I will tell her the plain truth and hope she forgives me and put the past behind us. May God help me. I am not sure if she has found out because there was a time she ask for the pictures I took at service all I showed her were camp's pictures and I said I do not take pictures. But she has not confronted me if she already knew.

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Nobody: 6:56pm On Jul 05, 2016
Just lie to her again that you will be relocating Oyo. You seem to be good at that already lipsrsealed

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Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by Filmewell(f): 7:08pm On Jul 05, 2016
Bet me she already knew. If she has a good heart like you said this is no big deal.
Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by mrowen279(m): 7:24pm On Jul 05, 2016
hmmmm...the truth os bitter buh that z d only good option you have...tell her and accept whatever d outcome that awaits you
Re: I Lied To Her And Now I Want To Marry Her (please Advise Me) by OLUJOSHINS(m): 7:24pm On Jul 05, 2016
hmmmmm.




The truth shall set U free.




Lying again will only worsen the situation

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