The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will not be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

And Congratulations you have learnt German within minutes.

Noooo!
I can't imagine myself speaking English like an Abok!
Europeans can quarrel and divide all they can, I no send them.

Wow... very creative.

prof800:
Wow... very creative.

Thank you

Kudoz man! Kretivity at it's pek

What a waste of time. The Brexit thing will have little or no effect on the popularity of the english language.

prof800:
Wow... very creative.

Very creative. I was just smiling throughout.

jagugu88li, nice one. Pity the only German sentence I can construct and say is "ich bin est mann!"

Freiburger:
What a waste of time. The Brexit thing will have little or no effect on the popularity of the english language.

Sorry if you took offence, this was all meant as a joke ( I see your moniker and location). Thanx pappy4real......I cant speak one word of German Feraz, better you than me.

jagugu88li:


Sorry if you took offence, this was all meant as a joke ( I see your moniker and location). Thanx pappy4real......I cant speak one word of German Feraz, better you than me.

Oh no offence at all. Your ideal is a very creative one I'll say. But I still think that after the whole negotiation process, the union between the Eu and the Uk will still be stronger than that of the Eu and Norway. Hope you get it. Bist du aus deutschland oder was?

Freiburger:

Oh no offence at all. Your ideal is a very creative one I'll say. But I still think that after the whole negotiation process, the union between the Eu and the Uk will still be stronger than that of the Eu and Norway. Hope you get it. Bist du aus deutschland oder was?

Mm...mm...mm *shaking my head*

recycled. . .

blackberlin:
recycled. . .

Sommer help me with the source please. recycled for where ?

Eist lav ze Inglish

jagugu88li:

Sommer help me with the source please

Was? what do u mean?

Germannnnn

Feed me more

jagugu88li:


Thank you

Why are you taking credit for this when it's a really old joke?

Its quite dishonest especially as it long predates Brexit.

jayriginal:


Why are you taking credit for this when it's a really old joke?

Its quite dishonest especially as it long predates Brexit.

Sir please, ask before making assumptions.

Do you know who came up with this OR better yet, do you know me?

jagugu88li:
Sir please, ask before making assumptions.

Do you know who came up with this OR better yet, do you know me?

Whenever you put up something you didn't create, you ought to cite it's source. Knowing you is not relevant to this situation. This is a very old joke that has been passed around numerous jokes on social media.

Someone even commended you and you tool credit for it. That's just wrong.

jayriginal:


Whenever you put up something you didn't create, you ought to cite it's source. Knowing you is not relevant to this situation. This is a very old joke that has been passed around numerous jokes on social media.

Someone even commended you and you tool credit for it. That's just wrong.

Exactly my point, its wrong because YOU don't know who came up with it. I did no mistake by taking credit, trust me

jagugu88li:
Exactly my point, its wrong because you don't know who came up with it. I did no mistake by taking credit.

Insinuating that you came up with it?

Spare me. That has been around long before Brexit.

jayriginal:


Insinuating that you came up with it?

Spare me. That has been around long before Brexit.

Now we are moving forward. It wasn't shared here because of brexit....it was just relevant that's all.

Lets do this......can you find out who came up with this and get back to me.

jagugu88li:
Now we are moving forward. It wasn't shared here because of brexit....it was just relevant that's all.

Lets do this......can you find out who came up with this and get back to me.

I'd have better luck finding a needle in a haystack.

If I claimed I'm the one who came up with this, how would you be able to prove me wrong?

jayriginal:


I'd have better luck finding a needle in a haystack.

If I claimed I'm the one who came up with this, how would you be able to prove me wrong?

Fortunately you wouldn't. Sir please, if you're looking for a person to pick on today, I'm the wrong person.

Wanna talk agriculture?

jagugu88li:
Fortunately you wouldn't. Sir please, if you're looking for a person to pick on today, I'm the wrong person.

Wanna talk agriculture?

LOL. No need. I'm off to play football.

Take care.

jayriginal:


LOL. No need. I'm off to play football.

Take care.

Enjoy!

jagugu88li:
Enjoy!

I'm back. Sore shoulder but good workout.


So you know anything about snail rearing?

jayriginal:

I'm back. Sore shoulder but good workout.

Stop it. You were the chicken......workout, this guy

jayriginal:

So you know anything about snail rearing?

Citrus, Grapes, Refinement

jagugu88li:
Stop it. You were the chicken......workout, this guy

I'm trying. You won't understand. It's been a while.

Citrus, Grapes, Refinement

Are we talking snails? What of feed formular and avoiding ants and stuff like that.

jayriginal:

Are we talking snails? What of feed formular and avoiding ants and stuff like that.

No bro, I'm saying I know nothing about snails. Those I mentioned are what I know.

jayriginal:


I'm trying. You won't understand. It's been a while.

Tell me you're not trying to be a chicken

jagugu88li:
No bro, I'm saying I know nothing about snails. Those I mentioned are what I know.

Tell me you're not trying to be a chicken

Ok, no snails then.

I'm not chicken. In fact I'm pretty brave. Lucky I have ibuprofen in the house. It's not easy to be running around with young sprouts. Trying to regain the old me.

jayriginal:


Ok, no snails then.

I'm not chicken. In fact I'm pretty brave. Lucky I have ibuprofen in the house. It's not easy to be running around with young sprouts. Trying to regain the old me.

Go to the gym tomorrow and tell me how you feel.....it'll still be the same OR you'll get immune to that ibuprofen before the old you kicks in......

Naa, don't mind me.