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Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) - TV/Movies - Nairaland

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Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by severee(m): 11:26am On Jul 11, 2016
narrator
the movie kicks off with the deleted avengers montage showing chris evans struggle to adjust to the modern world without his war buddies or hayley atwell who just kicked the bucket
russo brothers
Hmmmm that will certainly put people in chris evans shoes and understand why he does "certain things" in the movie.............that's why we shall cancel that
narrator
instead the russos opt for an unintentionally funny opening where sebastian stan is been brain washed in a hydra branch office
sebastian stan
Raaaaaaagh!
gene farber
Dude I bet you 20 bucks I can make you do anything
sebastian stan
Raaaagh!
gene farber
Alrightie(opens a red book) when I call the following words you shall become a soldier for hydra
sebastian stan
Seriously! I'm brainwashed by a book man that's bullsh*t Raaaaaaaagh

gene farber
Okay here I go: sh*t stain, p*nis sandwich,dong ice cream,c*m mouthwash
sebastian stan
Ok ok jesus what do you want?
gene farber
A certain superhero needs a tragic backstory grin
audience
Wait just like dawn of justice? Is there gonna be a Maaaaaaaaartha twist in this one too?
[B]russo brothers[/b]
What? Er No of course not(runs to go change script)
narrator
then we see the avengers 'suck-d*ck division' on another unsanctioned mission in los angelesLagos to defy the Laws of Nigeria Norm
elizabeth olsen
Hey look at me I'm drinking coffee at one of Nigeria's many coffee shops
scarlett johansson
And I'm wearing a leather jacket and leather boots when it is as hot as p*nis
During summer in Nigeria
chris evans
And I totally just slept in this room with no mosquito nets
anthony mackie
grin sh*t I'm standing at the top of one of Nigeria's many sky scrappers with my fully charged jetpack and mini drone undecided despite Nigeria's epileptic power situation
Nigeria
And we totally have a disease research center that foreign terrorists are attacking..........wait what?
narrator
the avengers strike at the right moment when the bad guys have already trashed the gates, made passersby sh*t their pants and flat out murdered everyone
frank grimlo
MuaHahahaha go go gagdet hammer go go gadget knife man I'm invincible..........wait a minute? I'm an opening sequence baddie? Aw c'mon I'm more bad*ss than this I mean I killed captain america in the comics
And sh*t ugh!
chris evans
Sky dive kick b*tches
terrorist
That's weird did you totally just jump out of your hotel room or something?
chris evans
Shut up and get decapitated( kills a ton of dudes graphically)
anthony mackie
Pffft! That's nothing watch me point blank shoot this dude in the head(does so)
chris evans
elizabeth take out the knock out gas in the lab and launch it into the sky don't worry it's nigeria so no one cares about air pollution
elizabeth olsen
Or we could wait and ambush the terrorists when they get outta the building
scarlet johansson
Or we could just rig their suvs with explosives and wait for them to get in
anthony mackie
Or better still we could just send paul betany to handle everything I mean that's why robert created him right?
chris evans
angry and not get to risk innocent lives and property destruction? Screw that
scarlett johansson
Wait a minute I haven't kicked a*ss in this scene got to fix that, and remember to wait for your turn guys while I kick the sh*t outta your friends
terrorists
And we will also choose to hand combat you despite our tight schedule
scarlett johansson
Aw thanks sweety(tries to kick frank's teeth in)
frank grimlo
MuaHaha I'm another super soldier in a movie filled with super soldiers so
Your r*pe prevention gadgets don't work on me.........anyway instead of totally snapping your neck like a freaking fish stick, I shall go all james bond villain on you and toss you into this SUV with a grenade and two 'dumbass henchmen who don't know what a grenade is' for company(does so)
narrator
luckily for scarlett the russo brothers don't know what a grenade is or what an explosion looks like so scarlet walks away from an explosion without going deaf or freaking losing a limb and sh*t
frank grimlo
Hey chris you dropped a building on my face and now I want.........REVENGE
chris evans
O_o any reason why you are being dramatic and sh*t?
russo brothers
Oh we're just getting started there's more where that came from
narrator
chris makes frank his b*tch despite frank being a hybrid of superman and inspector gadget
frank grimlo
*singing* when I say sebastian you stand still oya sebastian
chris evans
What's this mortal kombat? Why should I stand still just because you are dressed as sub-zero and you called sebastians name?
frank grimlo
angry Sebastian
chris evans
*rolling eyes* ok I mean *gasp* angry WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!!! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!!! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!!!
frank grimlo
Oh good you are distracted time to make a slip or shove a wrist buzz saw down your throat or something EAT GRENADE YOU QUERE!!!! Go go gadget hand grenade
elizabeth olsen
Not so fast frank(does whatever the f*ck she does which contains frank just at the right moment........undecided that is when the grenade already went off)
chris evans
Quick shove him in the ground
elizabeth olsen
cool No I've got a better idea(tosses frank into a building) oops sad
anthony mackie
sad I guess your "bad ideas" followed you from the last avengers huh?
chris evans
Oh sh*t Quick! we've gotta hide elizabeth from a Nigerian lynch mob........... wait you mean nigerians who lynch innocent people in suspicion of witch craft will totally sit out on lynching elizabeth right now? Man I call bullsh*t on this one

narrator
next we see robert downey jr sending relief materials to sokovian refugees giving a talk to some undergrads brought to you courtesy of M.I. m*therfucking T
robert downey
My parents were murdered in a "make it look like an accident" assassination plot and because my head is full of saw dust I totally didn't investigate the finger prints around my mothers neck or my fathers punched in face or the totally robbed trunk of their car instead I built this implausible device which CGIs you to death to make you creepy younger.............now on a non related note, I'VE FUNDED YOUR SCHOOL PROJECTS
students
Jesus! you called us to the auditorium for this? Couldn't you like send a newsletter to our college accounts or sms our phones or something?
school lecturer
Hey robert I've got this idea you'll love
robert downey jr
Eat a d*ck nerd wow obviously I didn't learn my anything from iron man three whatever, I'll just hop into this unsecured elevator in this creepy hallway I just hope I don't come across an ironman hater right now or I'm toast
william sharpe
robert I've been waiting at this elevator for you this whole time cause I totally knew you would ditch everyone and take this particular elevator alone and without your iron suit
robert downey jr
Yea that's kinda st*pid but you're a black welfare queen so my paranoid senses are tingling like crazy
william sharpe
angry n*gga I'm no welfare queen I'm just a single parent and civil servant whose son was killed in sokovia leaving me with his college loans and sh*t oh wait I'm a welfare queen sad wow did tyler perry write this?
robert downey jr
Oh right! This is definitely the first troll I've seen since the avengers kicked off now I'm sad hence growing a conscience for the gazillionth time
william hurt
Luckily for you the world hates you guys so now will be the time to exercise your guilt and act like a d*ck

Hey guys so you know how you go round the world trashing things
killing people and leaving without cleaning up?
(Shows a montage of MCU movie climaxes for continuity sake)
chris evans
Wow who got all that footage from those dangerous positions? The Suicide squad? grin see? I made a modern culture joke oh right I'm not adjusting to modern culture anymore that's good carry on willie

To be continued....

Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by kay9(m): 12:34pm On Jul 11, 2016
double post.

P.S: Seun, please when can we expect the "delete post" button?
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by kay9(m): 12:34pm On Jul 11, 2016
Dude grin grin grin you just had to spoof this one too, didnt you?

But i'll admit, the movie's premise and the opening scenes does require some suspension of common sense. smiley
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by vickers95(m): 6:38pm On Jul 11, 2016
Lol. MOREEEE!
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by severee(m): 7:04pm On Jul 11, 2016
kay9:
Dude grin grin grin you just had to spoof this one too, didnt you?

But i'll admit, the movie's premise and the opening scenes does require some suspension of common sense. smiley

grin I couldn't help myself, make I no lie them try for civil war I'm rly impressed almost like they listened to my age of ultron complaints and its waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than BvS
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by severee(m): 7:40pm On Jul 12, 2016
william hurt
Well we've decided (after 8 years) that it's not right and so we are accord slapping your a*sses instead of you know........just asking y'all to retire and surrender your weapons or just killing you all to save us the headache
chris evans
Hmmm retire just like that? So we killed all those people and get away with a slap on the wrist?
william hurt
sad Accelerating a plot here people get your mind outta logic lane, just hurry up and pick sides before it begins to sink into the audience head
chris evans
Well you can't tell us what to do
robert downey jr
Well tough sh*t I just got grieve slapped by a black widow grin get it? Black widow?
audience
Ugh!
anthony mackie
I'm with chris because it's one black sidekick to a white lead
don cheadle
Then I'm with robert
scarlet johansson
I'm with robert but also with chris because women can't make up their minds in the MCU
elizabeth olsen
At least you're not forced to be on chris side and held by robert against your will to be uggled by a creepy robot....... Add that to murdering my parents and brother and you'll get a mystery as to why I haven't totally killed robert by now
chris evans
Hayleys dead oh sh*t my MILF I never got to score with her oh sh*t
emily vancamp
Its alright love
chris evans
You? Why are you in this movie?
emily vancamp
it was either me or maria hill
chris evans
As what?
emily vancamp
Your enabler
chris evans
Isn't that scarlet's job?
russo brothers
We haven't yet gotten a handle on your love life so I think we should just throw every female character into the franchise and see which sticks kinda like speed dating it will be fun
audience
More like gross and unnecessary
russo brothers
Let's skip to the next scene shall we
narrator
next we see gene farber a war criminal hiding out in a canadian outskirts sub urban america of all places
[b]daniel bruhl

Hey dude I crashed into your car you wanna let me in so we can talk?
gene farber
Ok one second let me just get my gun incase you aren't whom you say you are
daniel bruhl
Or maybe we could settle this with the police?
gene farber
Hmmm police that certainly makes you the real deal tell you what I'm not gonna pick up my gun and I definitely won't just ask you to leave since its my car and all, I will totally let you in
daniel bruhl
tongue sucker(clubs farber on da head)
narrator
by the time farber comes to he's hanging upside down over a bathtub filling with water
gene farber
What do you want?
daniel bruhl
The fall of an empire
gene farber

daniel bruhl
*rolling eyes* I wanna kill the avengers
gene farber
Uh shouldn't you be meeting with samuel jackson for that? Or probably teaming up with me I mean they are the reason why I'm out of a job and sh*t
daniel bruhl
Oh look your red book is not tattered and torn after over 20 years why didn't you burn this sh*t?
gene farber
Yea I just kept that I mean you never know when you'll want a hydra super soldier to do your laundry or clean your house and sh*t, anyway if I helpe answered your questions right now this movie will be 15minutes total so I'm not helping you destroy the avengers and save my life sad wait that came out wrong
daniel bruhl
Very well I guess I'll go the over the top MCU route(murders farber bada*ssly)
narrator
scarlet is at a conference in vienna surprisingly not in handcuffs, she introduces herself to john kani and american chadwick boseman whose pretending to be african by being totally cliched
scarlet johansson
Rather than just casting regular african actors right?
russo brothers
We only cast indigenous dudes when we want to suck its countrys d*ck but africa is not really on our radar right now
chadwick boseman
Besides who can play this role better than me?
scarlet johansson
Uh chiwetel ejiofor,triple A,that razak azeez dude from doom, david oyelowo
chadwick boseman
Oh yea? well I happen to be here and you happen to be giving me f*ck me eyes and apparently I abandoned my security post........... sad hey wait a minute
narrator
boom! The conference is attacked in order to frame sebastian
audience
Hey dawn of justice called they said stop stealing their sh*t
chadwick boseman
Hmmm perhaps we should totally arrest and investigate the avengers as only they stand to gain from this
scarlet johansson
Uh this totally doctored and convenient camera footage shows that sebastian stan did it
chadwick boseman
And what would a hydra operative and enemy of the avengers gain from this? Its not like robert can't move sh*t around to make sebastian take the fall for all I know robert probably fired an invisible tank missile at this place
scarlet johansson
sad n*gga you are african act the part
chadwick boseman
Well in that case.......raaaagh sebstian killed my wierdly old a*ss father and I want............revenge
chris evans
Hmmm I feel I should be doing something since this is my movie what to do what to do
scarlet johansson
The cops are unto your friend whom we are not sure we can trust but help him resist arrest anyway?
chris evans
Oh thanks now how do I find him what to do what to do
emily vancamp
Lucky you have me, sebastian stan has been located "hiding" in the city of romanian capital bucharest and by hiding I mean not making any effort to change his appearance, renting a posh condo and waltzing about the market place during the day to buy fruits
chris evans
Yes in my movie am letting two chicks to spoon feed me instructions and information this should definitely make fans to root for me against robert
anthony mackie
If we are to visit your friend we must rely on stealth
chris evans
That's right buddie
narrator
chris meets with sebastian in sebastians porche apartment totally geared to the teeth to "avoid" suspicion
chris evans
How can you afford this on a fugitive salary?
sebastian stan
Hydra still pays me pension and sh*t what do you want
chris evans
There are romanian cops on their way to kill you so we took the first 2 minute flight from america to show up in your apartment and look concerned seriously I'm actually here to ask you to surrender and get killed

romanian cops
This is the romanian police we are here to kill you that's why we are announcing our arrival
sebastian stan
Winter soldier no dey carry last(hops out window)
chris evans
No sebastian you have to surrender to police(kicks romanian police in the head and a*ss)cause we are the good guys(kicks romanian police teeth in) if you run you'll look guilty(kicks romanina police in the nuts)


To be continued.........
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by iheanyi4u(m): 5:22am On Jul 13, 2016
More more more!!!
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by severee(m): 3:16pm On Jul 13, 2016
chadwick boseman
Haha I bet everyone is excited to see my alter ego just a few seconds after declaring fukushu on sebastians a*ss
russo brothers
Yea its only a test run to see if you're cool so screw mystery cause it's overrated
sebastian stan
*rolling eyes* undecided Are you a super soldier too?
chadwick boseman
Uh I'm not sure I mean they hardly say jack about me in this movie except that I can fight and jump really far I don't even think they mention my name black panther
lyndon b johnson
angry Black panther? Where?
chadwick boseman
Anyway I'm here to avenge my baba's murder that's why I brought no weapons and I am fist fighting and playing with you my prey cause I'm a panther get it? grin
audience
Ugh!
narrator
so they fight in their typical marvel choreographed fashion then chris joins but he's totally ignored because black panther kicks a*ss then a romanian army chopper gunship fires at them and probably kill a ton of occupants in the apartment beneath them
sebastian stan
Not that this isn't fun but I'm totally checking out
chad boswick
angry the hell you are(chases after sebastian)
narrator
then we are subjected to a silly foot chase scene where a grown a*ss dude with a tin foil wrapped arm is chased by grown a*ss dude running like an actual panther who in turn is chased by another grown a*ss dude wearing a costume and carrying a pot cover
sebastian stan
F*ck this I'm tired of running faster than cars I think I should go Grand Theft Auto and steal a bike
chadwick boseman
tongue Sucker(slashes tyres cause you know.... he's faster than a bike remember?)
chris evans
This road is too neat and full of living people I'm an avenger must..... destroy..... Road
sebastian stan
Right on it buddie wink(blows bridge)
don cheadle
Alright stop the audience are obviously bored and since it's your movie you're under arrest chris and you too anthony
anthony mackie
Hey why do they keep roping me along during an arrest it's cause I'm black right?
narrator
then chadwick takes off his helmet in front of everyone even though he's a political figure and his arrest can further desecrate his fathers legacy
don cheadle
Yea you're his black side kick so go figure speaking of black welcome onboard the MCU express chadwick I wonder why you wore a helmet in the first place when you are just gonna take it off anyway

anthony mackie
angry hey how come he doesn't go to jail?
don cheadle
Cause this is the first black MCU character who doesn't suck donkey balls now get in the black maria
narrator
they haul chris and anthony to prison an office on the valley and totally ignore them cause they are boring
robert downey
Waddup chris! grin seriously that's my first response upon spotting the dude who betrayed the avengers and gave superheroes a bad name just so he can help his hydra buddie
chris evans
sad so there aint gonna be 'major consequences' like you barked at william on the phone?
robert downey
Nah buddie kick your feet relax grab a granola bar or something hey guys get my man here a shirt and jacket, jarvis cancel all security protocol and pray a boring as f*ck villain doesn't waltz in and burst sebastian out
emily vancamp
Need a massage?
chris evans
You're still here
emily vancamp
Yea I work for the CIA now despite my previous employment being at a hydra safe house
chris evans
No I mean you are still in this franchise despite being just as boring as maria hills character why?
russo brothers
Good question perhaps we need to find her a job(Looking under their chairs) when we find how she can be useful we'll let you know
narrator
daniel sneaks in
daniel bruhl
I've totally sneaked into the buildingbecause I'm as boring as f*ck and no one notices me under the guise of a UN official and I've sneaked an EMP into the country under the guise of a water heater? Wait hol'up I know I'm bada*ss and all but how did I know sebastian will be in romania? and how did I know they will send a UN official to interrogate him? And how did I know they won't bother checking me out at the gate to make sure I'm the real deal? And how did I know where exactly they will imprison sebastian? And how did I know when they will capture sebastian?
russo brothers
Yea we thought about that too that's why we shall shove martin freeman as a pointless comic
Relief which fails to hit its mark carry on
narrator
meanwhile daniel has an accomplice deliver an EMP device to the power plant that controls all of romania's power supply because............coincidence
accomplice
Uh pizza delivery for electric company guys(avoids suspicion by running like hell)
electric company guy
An EMP quick turn it off or load it in the truck and drive it in a lake or(flips through script) oh my bad I mean *singing* stop and stare
narrator
the EMP goes off and hits the facility where sebastian is held
martin freeman
Quick turn on the reserve generators........wait we don't have those? sh*t hey where is chris and anthony? Aren't they prisoners anymore? WTF?
daniel bruhl
So tell me about your mission at the start of this movie
sebastian stan
No
daniel bruhl
*dramatically* sh*t stain, p*nis sandwich,dong ice cream,c*m mouthwash
sebastian stan
Ew alright what do you want?
daniel bruhl
Tell me about your mission in 1991 you do remember right?
sebastian stan
Of course I do it's only 20years ago and one of my dozen other missions it's only humanly possible for me to remember Just like how the audience remember the plot from captain america first avenger
chris evans
Aha! I've gotcha sucker why did you frame my friend?
daniel bruhl
Cause I wanna see the fall of an empire
chris evans
shocked Holysh*t guys ultron is back
daniel bruhl
What? I'm not ultron i'm just a blander weaker MCU villain with a hybrid of ultron and lokis objective
chris evans
sad so in that case you have a cliched/silly objective, care to share or is it too early on in the movie?
daniel bruhl
Yea according to the laws of hollywood I can't disclose my plans till the end of the movie besides we've had just 2 action scenes in this movie we need at least 2 necessary action scenes, 2 filler action scenes, 1 useless action scene and the climax
sebastian stan
Speaking of useless action scenes, I just ripped off my restraints like a couple of bandaids (kicks the sh*t outta anthony and chris using MCUs signature bad editing)
martin freeman
Armed guards take out sebastian
narrator
a couple of mall cops show up withassault rifles whips and consequently gets their a*sses kicked then robert downey junior attacks withhis battle suit some electric wrist band(which somehow still works despite the EMP attack) so he also gets tossed like a rag doll then it gets hilarious when powerless emily vancamp takes a swing at sebastian and ends up being used as a coffee table hammer then things get kinky when scarlet tries to force sebastian into giving her head but fails, then it gets racist when they make chadwick fight , jump and chant like a monkey just cause he's from africa, finally it dawns on sebastian to use his super speed to escape
chris evans
What a coincidence I happen to be the only one who isn't passed out right now so I will stop sebastian
audience
Oh God not another crappy shaky cam fight scene like from winter soldier
russo brothers
Nah! We are all about laughs in this movie that's why chris shall be performing an unintentionally funny stunt chris take the floor
narrator
sebastian tries to escape with a chopper but chris foils him by holding down a 6000 pound chopper and supporting himself with a 100 pound railing? Which actually works rather than rip chris in half , after the audience have a good laugh the scene ends with chris saving sebastian from drowning which somehow is the antidote to sebastians trance
william hurt
Yell yell yell yell national security yell yell yell protocol yell yell yell
robert downey jr
don't worry we will get chris back
william hurt
Fine I'll send a bunch of police officers to surround them afterall it worked well the first time
robert downey jr
Nah that won't be necessary just send chris friends accompanied by other super civilians to wreck sh*t and keep insurance companies busy
william hurt
So in other words reinstate the avengers that we just signed an accord to indirectly disband?
robert downey jr
Disband?
william hurt
Yea cause y'all didn't sign the accord and the consequence for that is retirement I mentioned that earlier
russo brothers
O yea we will find a place to squeeze in information that robert and don actually signed the accord rather than just show y'all when they did it
To be continued....
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by Eapps(f): 4:14pm On Jul 13, 2016
severee:


grin I couldn't help myself, make I no lie them try for civil war I'm rly impressed almost like they listened to my age of ultron complaints and its waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than BvS

Good idea to add a retract to your dizz thread or we would have had a civil war of our own
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by thenairama(m): 9:30pm On Jul 13, 2016
Stupidity is when you classify a movie rated 93% with over a billion dollars in turnover as a dud
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by severee(m): 5:06am On Aug 27, 2016
@eapps, @ thenairama sad for una mind una don yan abi?
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by severee(m): 5:06am On Aug 27, 2016
robert downey jr
Anyway this is more like an avengers basketball match I've got don
chris evans
I've got anthony
scarlet johansson
I've got chad
anthony mackie
I've got jeremy
jeremy renner
Uh I'm retired and totally stand to gain or lose nothing from this
keving feige
angry except a paycheck you dumbf*ck
jeremy renner
Fine! I've got paul rudd
chris evans
I've got my untrained and traumatized elizabeth and sebastian don't worry he's cool now I know that because he remembers my mothers name
robert downey jr
sad Aw that makes us uneven
audience
How about your manually controlled robots from age of ultron
robert downey jr
angry Goddamit would you quit it with the common sense
audience
cry I'm just trying to help
robert downey jr
Mtchew!
narrator
robert travels to newyork to f*ck marisa tomei(the most cheerful and sexy widow in the world) and risk the life of her "son" despite being grieved stricken by a single parent who lost her son meanwhile chris and sebastian sneak out of the country by suiting up and using the totally public airport like a couple of geniuses grin
emily vancamp
Yay I'm still alive despite smashing a cocobolo desk and I'm totally cool with your sebastian friend chilling like nothing happened infact I'm committing treason for him.............oh all these st*pidity makes me h*rny can we f*ck on the hood of your car?
chris evans
Nah it's a pg-rated movie so let's settle for disturbing the audience by making out
audience
undecided with the niece of your girlfriend few scenes after her death? #Classy
chris evans
F*ck you
narrator
meanwhile back at the avengers mansion elizabeth isn't done annoying us with her irritatingly fake accent
paul betany
Hey I cooked you dinner and wore a sweater and khaki pants for swag purposes
elizabeth olsen
Why? sad Oh God please don't tell me I'm gonna f*ck a robot in this movie come on
paul betany
But according to the comics we've got the hots for each other
elizabeth olsen
*sigh*
paul betany
I'll be back I've got to go change into something comfortable (gets zapped by jeremy and then force field into the ground by elizabeth like she should have done to frank grillo)
elizabeth olsen
Phew!Thank you
narrator
and so the avengers battle olympics begins as iron man kicks off by destroying a helicopter in typical avengers fashion
tom holland
Time for the big reveal.......spiderman is in this movie
audience
Um yay? I mean we totally saw this part in the trailer and what's with peter parker always being a high school student in the movies? come on he's graduated twice already perhaps y'all should find a story in a timeline in college or working photographer jeez
paul rudd
Grrr! I'm a douchebag so I'll pick on the minor
marvel
The moral of the story is bullying and picking on minors is adorable

Signed
Marvel team
tom holland
Hmmm ant man spiderman so many insect men up in here anyone got a bug spray? Get it? Spiderman humor(gets kicked in the teeth for his bad joke)
chris evans
Thanks paul hey robert it's time to......
robert downey jr
No not yet I wanna fight jeremy renner first
elizabeth olsen
angry ahem!
robert downey jr
shocked Oh sh*t who set elizabeth free?
elizabeth olsen
You locked me in my room
robert downey jr
Say what you will but at least I'm not using you as a divertion so I can slip off. With my boyfriend and risk having you captured or killed
elizabeth olsen
Good point but not good enough because I'm mad angry
robert downey jr
Wait I killed your family and you've finally decided to kill me cause I grounded you? And is anyone else not buying that you aren't a teenager? For the love of God you look 30
elizabeth olsen
*gasp* why you angry (drops a bunch of cars on robert)
robert downey jr
undecided seriously that didn't kill me? Even though my suit scatters like lego toys in iron man 3? Okay
narrator
meanwhile sebastian and anthony re-enact a tom and jerry cartoon scene by getting their a*sses kicked by tom holland
sebastian stan
Wait am I seriously losing to a teenager? Especially when I just bashed everyone in the previous scene?
anthony mackie
Grrrr I'm gonna aggressively beat this kid cause that's what we black people do right?
paul rudd
Hey scarlet wanna flirt fight?
scarlet johansson
*rolling eyes* this will be embarassing (and it is especially when she flips on her own like a freaking looney)
scarlet johansson
angry eat buzz for making me look like a crazy person (zaps paul)
paul rudd
angry Hey that nearly killed me you c*nt I thought this was a friendly match(endagers roberts life by messing with roberts wiring) sad hmmm its weird just how many attempted murders have been committed in this friendly match(tossing fuel car at roberts avengers) sad
don cheadle
*in southern slave accent*Em who do I battles sirs
robert downey jr
Go crazy take on chris
don cheadle
Ooo yes masser I'm ons its masser(chris makes him his b*tch)
angry really guys?
chad boswick
I'm on it (is made a b*tch too) angry I don't need this mess I should be looking for sebastian
narrator
scarlett and jeremy have a rematch
scarlett jeremy
Hey so how is retirement? having fun with no neighbours?
jeremy renner
angry Having fun with no man in your life?
scarlett johansson
angry hey I'm playing catch up not spit roast choke on my crotch mr bland
jeremy renner
I'm not mr bland I just happen to play leading roles in failed franchises and side kicks in successful ones (choking)
Guys.... Little help?
elizabeth olsen
(Tosses scarlett with her force field) no means no go get a vibrator instead of rubbing on every guy you see
scarlett johansson
Oh Gawd I need to go to a hospital
robert downey jr
Psst suck that up b*tch everyone form brave heart formation I've got scarlet,tommy,don,chadwick and paul my hommie
paul betany
angry elizabeth left me with blue balls and I want................revenge
chris evans
And I've got anthony,elizabeth,jeremy,paul and sebastian
robert downey jr
In other words the tacky team grin
chris evans
angry no its not
robert downey jr
grin admit it my team sh*ts on your team.......aiit now seriously chris stand down I don't want to kill you
chris evans
That's why you fired countless tank missiles at us
robert downey jr
angry Hey elizabeth dropped cars on me
Okay now I'm pissed stand down or we'll make your gritty franchise campy and silly
chris evans
robert, look sebastian is been framed by a dude in siberia let's go hunt him down you can keep sebastian prisoner as a sign of goodwill ATTACK!!!!
tom holland
They are not stopping mr downey
robert downey jr
Very well,Let's camp the f*ck outta this movie
chris evans
angry the hell you are (picks on tom holland) you should have more respect for your elders grin get it? Cause I'm over a hundred years old and......
audience
Zzzzzzzzzz
chris evans
angry A*ss
sebastian stan
c'mon this scene is taking forever let's go clear my name already
chris evans
Haha like taking down daniel will suddenly make the world forget all the other people you killed..... sad oh you aint kidding okay let's "clear your name" I guess
paul rudd
I'll cover you so you can run(grows big)
robert downey jr
Seriously, you know we can totally run around you
paul rudd
angry no you can't... see? don just flew right into my grasp
robert downey jr
That's doesn't count don's an *diot
don cheadle
angry hey!
chadwick boseman
I mean we could also trip him with a stair car or something
robert downey jr
Or I can fire a rocket at him
paul rudd
Would you stop talking about how this is a bad idea c'mon the fan b*ners are to the roof don't ruin it
(Paul flies through him). angry Goddammit what did I just say?(Destroys a plane for no reason)
narrator
chris and sebastien bump into scarlett
scarlett johansson
I'm taking you guys in
sebastien stan
wink c'mon we had choke sex in the last scene doesn't that count
scarlett johansson
Alright you may pass
chris evans
And we played tongue hockey in the last movie
scarlett johansson
Aii that's a pass too
chad boswick
Grrrrr you aint leaving till I kill your a*ss
scarlett johansson
Yea I'm definitely gonna have fun stunning your uppity a*ss
chad boswick
Hey buh we........oh sh*t(gets stunned to sh*t)
narrator
meanwhile paul mind r*pes elizabeth is about to go 2nd base with her
robert downey jr
Hey paul shoot down sebastien and chris anthony in honor of the black men police shooters of America
paul bettany
AMERICA!!! (Shoots down don instead) oops wait that still counts right?
robert downey jr
angry fine I'll complete the racist cycle myself(blasts anthony to kingdom come) anyone gonna chase chris oh forget it

To be continued.....
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by kay9(m): 9:06am On Aug 27, 2016
Umm... elizabeth didn't drop the cars on tony, jeremy did.
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by severee(m): 9:38am On Aug 27, 2016
kay9:
Umm... elizabeth didn't drop the cars on tony, jeremy did.


Jeremy how? IM destroyed the arrow he fired and elizabeth was waving her hands around, it's a confusing scene sha perhaps I no look am well
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by ades0la(f): 4:27pm On Apr 05, 2017
severee:


Jeremy how? IM destroyed the arrow he fired and elizabeth was waving her hands around, it's a confusing scene sha perhaps I no look am well


When will you complete this please?
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by Colleverage: 8:38am On Jan 31, 2018
[img]q=white+woman+feeding+an+african+starving+kid&client=ms-android-asus&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiS1dvK2IHZAhUO66QKHRO3CIcQ_AUICigB&biw=320&bih=488#imgrc=3CaUpmf_9UzbMM: [/img]
Re: Swing And A Miss: Captain America(civil War) by Forreellinc: 2:25pm On May 08, 2019
08123751498, 08084641767

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