pat358:
This is not a relationship I will encourage you to go into. Run for your life. Marriage is full of ups and downs, as long as your girl's parents are still living together, there is what you call "forgiveness".
If your girl can not forgive her father for his misdeeds, then, heavens help you in a relationship with her.

harsysky:
[b]Dear Op,
My comment may not actually make sense to anyone, but I don't care. I'm writing directly to you Op because you've come here for a solution. I've also read a lot of people's comments, especially the " run for your life!"

I would have easily said you should run, but come to think of it, "No one is perfect".
You ain't, Op, no matter how sympathetic and sensitive you may think you are. That girl of yours may have undergone series of assaults or brain-wiring that most or some of us have also undergone, Only that hers might have gotten into her so , so much. It may not be her fault actually. Be rest assured she can come of it and love like never before.

I like you a lot Op. Your sense of care and observation, I respect so much. You never can tell if you would have acted more than your wife-to-be if you were in her shoes. Leaving her and not picking her calls means one thing to me. You wana be those kind of people who know how to deal with a problem but leave it because they respect people's say more than theirs.
Talk to your girl. Atleast, there is something you've seen in her that has attracted you to her. Assuming you didn't see her Dad, you wouldn't be here complaining, right? Don't think the next person you will meet will be that saint. You could save that family. The head of that family might have done something anyone could even kill him for ,but I believe they still feed him atleast. It means there is still 1% love for the old man. They can still love him to the fullest but need to be convinced that one does not pay evil with evil otherwise evil will be in circulation.

I can never forget the advice my aunt gave me one precious day. I was having a problem with my Dad. I was thinking he never loved me. Then , the auto-correct advice came and it goes thus: " the only man who hates you is one who shuts you out all round. Does your Dad shut you out?". " No" I replied
"Then he loves you more than anything" she concluded

I believed her whole-heartedly. she is now my mentor.
[/b]

Deepfreezer:
God so love OP that he gave you a revelation like this. And ur still asking questions.

sammily:
Please I want people to help me out here. I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 months last 2 week ago and we agreed to visit her home last Sunday. I have always dropped her off around the place but I have never entered the house because I wasn't yet ready to meet the parent because we were just dating then and I wasn't yet sure that she was the one for me. Meanwhile all these while, My girl was only referring to her mum so I subconsciously concluded that the father is late. So last Sunday, I got to their house at Agege pen Cinema and what I saw was very sad. I saw a man looking so haggard in the sitting room and I greeted him, He answered in a very low tone and welcomed me. My girls mum soon came out to the sitting room and also greeted me. We exchanged pleasantries before my girl came out to join us in the discuss. At a point my girls mum brought out money and asked the haggard man to go and buy fuel to power the generator for me so that Heat will not disturb me.

We discussed at length after the man left. To cut the long story short, After the meeting we fixed another date for the second meeting that I was supposed to attend with a family member. When I was about leaving, I gave them some money and some to the man and he fell on his knees thanking me as if he has never owned N1000 in his entire life. When my girl was seeing me off, I asked her who the man was and lo and behold, it was her father. I couldn't believe my ears. it was like a rude joke. it was unbelievable. She must has sensed my confusion before she started telling me stories of how the man maltreated her mum when he had money, how he married another wife who squandered all his money and left them in penury. She said he used to beat her mum and all sorts which I cannot write here.

Since that Sunday till now, I've had no peace of mind, I've been thinking and imagining how a right thinking woman and her daughter can comfortably relegate the man of the house to a mere houseboy. That Sunday, the man was wearing a torn knicker and a white singlet that I won't even use to clean my car. Even my wife to be hushed him down when he came back and wanted to keep the fuel change to himself. Something is wrong somewhere, a woman who could treat her husband like this no matter what he did in the past is scary. I have not even picked her calls since that Sunday evening. I am scared and I don't know what to do next.

chiefolododo:
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

sammily:
Please I want people to help me out here. I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 months last 2 week ago and we agreed to visit her home last Sunday. I have always dropped her off around the place but I have never entered the house because I wasn't yet ready to meet the parent because we were just dating then and I wasn't yet sure that she was the one for me. Meanwhile all these while, My girl was only referring to her mum so I subconsciously concluded that the father is late. So last Sunday, I got to their house at Agege pen Cinema and what I saw was very sad. I saw a man looking so haggard in the sitting room and I greeted him, He answered in a very low tone and welcomed me. My girls mum soon came out to the sitting room and also greeted me. We exchanged pleasantries before my girl came out to join us in the discuss. At a point my girls mum brought out money and asked the haggard man to go and buy fuel to power the generator for me so that Heat will not disturb me.

We discussed at length after the man left. To cut the long story short, After the meeting we fixed another date for the second meeting that I was supposed to attend with a family member. When I was about leaving, I gave them some money and some to the man and he fell on his knees thanking me as if he has never owned N1000 in his entire life. When my girl was seeing me off, I asked her who the man was and lo and behold, it was her father. I couldn't believe my ears. it was like a rude joke. it was unbelievable. She must has sensed my confusion before she started telling me stories of how the man maltreated her mum when he had money, how he married another wife who squandered all his money and left them in penury. She said he used to beat her mum and all sorts which I cannot write here.

Since that Sunday till now, I've had no peace of mind, I've been thinking and imagining how a right thinking woman and her daughter can comfortably relegate the man of the house to a mere houseboy. That Sunday, the man was wearing a torn knicker and a white singlet that I won't even use to clean my car. Even my wife to be hushed him down when he came back and wanted to keep the fuel change to himself. Something is wrong somewhere, a woman who could treat her husband like this no matter what he did in the past is scary. I have not even picked her calls since that Sunday evening. I am scared and I don't know what to do next.

obiak4:
FIND a way to have a one on one chat with the father to lay all speculation to rest
But will not ADVICE you to continue or show much interest until you FIND out who your inlaws are
Or better still ask people AROUND THE street how thier family members behave or treat people
Blessed be

sammily:
Please I want people to help me out here. I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 months last 2 week ago and we agreed to visit her home last Sunday. I have always dropped her off around the place but I have never entered the house because I wasn't yet ready to meet the parent because we were just dating then and I wasn't yet sure that she was the one for me. Meanwhile all these while, My girl was only referring to her mum so I subconsciously concluded that the father is late. So last Sunday, I got to their house at Agege pen Cinema and what I saw was very sad. I saw a man looking so haggard in the sitting room and I greeted him, He answered in a very low tone and welcomed me. My girls mum soon came out to the sitting room and also greeted me. We exchanged pleasantries before my girl came out to join us in the discuss. At a point my girls mum brought out money and asked the haggard man to go and buy fuel to power the generator for me so that Heat will not disturb me.

We discussed at length after the man left. To cut the long story short, After the meeting we fixed another date for the second meeting that I was supposed to attend with a family member. When I was about leaving, I gave them some money and some to the man and he fell on his knees thanking me as if he has never owned N1000 in his entire life. When my girl was seeing me off, I asked her who the man was and lo and behold, it was her father. I couldn't believe my ears. it was like a rude joke. it was unbelievable. She must has sensed my confusion before she started telling me stories of how the man maltreated her mum when he had money, how he married another wife who squandered all his money and left them in penury. She said he used to beat her mum and all sorts which I cannot write here.

Since that Sunday till now, I've had no peace of mind, I've been thinking and imagining how a right thinking woman and her daughter can comfortably relegate the man of the house to a mere houseboy. That Sunday, the man was wearing a torn knicker and a white singlet that I won't even use to clean my car. Even my wife to be hushed him down when he came back and wanted to keep the fuel change to himself. Something is wrong somewhere, a woman who could treat her husband like this no matter what he did in the past is scary. I have not even picked her calls since that Sunday evening. I am scared and I don't know what to do next.

histemple:


Marriage is different from dating my dear. Some warning signs can't be ignored. Like you said, the lady has grown with a certain mindset and nothing on earth can change that permanently. It's just unfortunate.

But then, there is a very salient point you made and that is, the OP should stop avoiding the lady's calls. I will advice the Op to sit the lady down and tell her why he is breaking up the relationship.

I believe that will go along way towards restructuring the lady's evil attitude towards the man.

sammily:
Please I want people to help me out here. I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 months last 2 week ago and we agreed to visit her home last Sunday. I have always dropped her off around the place but I have never entered the house because I wasn't yet ready to meet the parent because we were just dating then and I wasn't yet sure that she was the one for me. Meanwhile all these while, My girl was only referring to her mum so I subconsciously concluded that the father is late. So last Sunday, I got to their house at Agege pen Cinema and what I saw was very sad. I saw a man looking so haggard in the sitting room and I greeted him, He answered in a very low tone and welcomed me. My girls mum soon came out to the sitting room and also greeted me. We exchanged pleasantries before my girl came out to join us in the discuss. At a point my girls mum brought out money and asked the haggard man to go and buy fuel to power the generator for me so that Heat will not disturb me.

We discussed at length after the man left. To cut the long story short, After the meeting we fixed another date for the second meeting that I was supposed to attend with a family member. When I was about leaving, I gave them some money and some to the man and he fell on his knees thanking me as if he has never owned N1000 in his entire life. When my girl was seeing me off, I asked her who the man was and lo and behold, it was her father. I couldn't believe my ears. it was like a rude joke. it was unbelievable. She must has sensed my confusion before she started telling me stories of how the man maltreated her mum when he had money, how he married another wife who squandered all his money and left them in penury. She said he used to beat her mum and all sorts which I cannot write here.

Since that Sunday till now, I've had no peace of mind, I've been thinking and imagining how a right thinking woman and her daughter can comfortably relegate the man of the house to a mere houseboy. That Sunday, the man was wearing a torn knicker and a white singlet that I won't even use to clean my car. Even my wife to be hushed him down when he came back and wanted to keep the fuel change to himself. Something is wrong somewhere, a woman who could treat her husband like this no matter what he did in the past is scary. I have not even picked her calls since that Sunday evening. I am scared and I don't know what to do next.

400billionman:


Give her time

Once she shows signs of controlling you, then quit.

I have seen something similar. When women are in control of money nah so e dey be.

dayowunmi:

My broda I tire for the OP o, dunno what question he's still asking again, except he wants God to come down and warn him personally, even at that, he may still come and post it on Nairaland asking for what to do.

baby124:

Look, no man can mistreat me and my children and even find my address when he is desperate ok? Her mother even tried giving him shelter. So after he must have abandoned them for ashawo and the mother did anything to raise her kids, she should now accept the cursed being into her life to keep eating her food and living from her sweat so he can resume carrying ashawo. Such things can never even happen in my home because my husband after messing up knows he cannot come back to tell me any story.

Don't change your ways, continue... The one wey go meet you for front de wait you? Small mistake you say? You call abandoning your family for another woman a small mistake Why did he go back to who he treated badly? Are his girlfriends all dead?

Some of you talk of conscience but do things to other's you cannot take. This man is reaping the fruits of his wickedness and you are talking to me about someone's conscience being dead? Is it not your conscience that is dead? For you to call such a big issue a mistake? Women should fear you! Leave your name, date of birth, photo and address so women can run from you!

E no go beta for the man we go do me or my daughters this kind thing. Thunder, lightening, brimstone! Sangoooo!!!

leahcimzil:

yur comment is like the ueue in Queue. IRRELEVANT. sometimes it is better to be quiet and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt that you are one

sammily:
Please I want people to help me out here. I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 months last 2 week ago and we agreed to visit her home last Sunday. I have always dropped her off around the place but I have never entered the house because I wasn't yet ready to meet the parent because we were just dating then and I wasn't yet sure that she was the one for me. Meanwhile all these while, My girl was only referring to her mum so I subconsciously concluded that the father is late. So last Sunday, I got to their house at Agege pen Cinema and what I saw was very sad. I saw a man looking so haggard in the sitting room and I greeted him, He answered in a very low tone and welcomed me. My girls mum soon came out to the sitting room and also greeted me. We exchanged pleasantries before my girl came out to join us in the discuss. At a point my girls mum brought out money and asked the haggard man to go and buy fuel to power the generator for me so that Heat will not disturb me.

We discussed at length after the man left. To cut the long story short, After the meeting we fixed another date for the second meeting that I was supposed to attend with a family member. When I was about leaving, I gave them some money and some to the man and he fell on his knees thanking me as if he has never owned N1000 in his entire life. When my girl was seeing me off, I asked her who the man was and lo and behold, it was her father. I couldn't believe my ears. it was like a rude joke. it was unbelievable. She must has sensed my confusion before she started telling me stories of how the man maltreated her mum when he had money, how he married another wife who squandered all his money and left them in penury. She said he used to beat her mum and all sorts which I cannot write here.

Since that Sunday till now, I've had no peace of mind, I've been thinking and imagining how a right thinking woman and her daughter can comfortably relegate the man of the house to a mere houseboy. That Sunday, the man was wearing a torn knicker and a white singlet that I won't even use to clean my car. Even my wife to be hushed him down when he came back and wanted to keep the fuel change to himself. Something is wrong somewhere, a woman who could treat her husband like this no matter what he did in the past is scary. I have not even picked her calls since that Sunday evening. I am scared and I don't know what to do next.