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I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' - Family (4) - Nairaland

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My Fiance Has A Child Out Of Wedlock. But Kept It A Secret From Me. / I Am Beginning To Despise My Parents... Am I Overreacting? / I Am Beginning To Hate My Mother!!! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Orikinla(m): 4:00pm On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by passionate88: 4:02pm On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do



Liar, you said that he's always around you, was he around you when you composed this message?
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by SaintUlot: 4:03pm On Jul 21, 2016
Make money daily directly into your bank account. Check my signature to get started
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by iamNotAlone(f): 4:04pm On Jul 21, 2016
passionate88:




Liar, you said that he's always around you, was he around you when you composed this message?
Must you joke about everything?
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by crackhaus: 4:04pm On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do
Every thing he does borders on a possessive attitude.

I'm interested in knowing what exactly you did to make him start suspecting you.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by rosco20(m): 4:04pm On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do
don't Try to leave him If you do at d end you would regret d action because he love you dat is y he jealousy I cannot lie to you if I am in d position I wil do more dan dat
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by Semper247(m): 4:07pm On Jul 21, 2016
mimzy:


He is possessive, doesn't necessarily mean he does not love you.



The fact that he is a jealous and possessive lover does not mean he is not capable of treating you right in public or in private.


Please explain what you mean by the emboldened, is it that you have painted him to be who he is not to the members of your family or what?


All these are signs of insecurity, while i am not in support of his attitudes, have you also taken your time to have a tête-à-tête with him, have you tried to understand your man's love language? Men can be really funny at times and you will be surprised at your findings when you have a heart-to-heart convo with him.



You are the one in the relationship, you know where the shoe pinches, you are the one that will say "I do forever" to the guy in question, so put aside what your family members will think or say. But, trust me my dear, the grass is not always greener on the other side, your relationship with him still has a very good chance of survival.


After all said and done, we can only but proffer advise, the final decision lies in your hands, BE WISE MY SISTER!!!




My Dear sister, u will make a good career in counselling and a good wife too.

While other pained female folks are shouting "red alert, leave him" , u came up with this deep and thoughtful advice. U did well my sister...

The unfortunate thing is, she won't listen to this cos she got her mind made up already to jump the ship. I have been in this situation before and girls of this nature are hard to convince to stay cos they have their eyes on the other side already.

I only pity the poor guy cos he is dumped already... better for him in the long run.

She should pack her luggage and leave already, the longer she is advised to stay, the greater the extent of the yet-to-happen heartbreak the guy will suffer

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Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by passionate88: 4:07pm On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:

Must you joke about everything?
wasn't joking, you said he is always with you.
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by iamNotAlone(f): 4:07pm On Jul 21, 2016
crackhaus:

Every thing he does borders on a possessive attitude.

I'm interested in knowing what exactly you did to make him start suspecting you.
I did nothing, he always bring his past experiences into our relationship.....I tire sef
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by baby124: 4:07pm On Jul 21, 2016
Your guy must have mental health problems. Tell him to get help, paranoia is not healthy or a good sign. Do not enter that marriage if he lacks trust and is paranoid. He will destroy your life.
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by ayodeji200: 4:08pm On Jul 21, 2016
NigAmbassador:
To be candid, u are just being selfish in trying to paint him black. You never pointed out his great and awesome attitude towards to you.

This happens when a woman got too much of attention from other "hit&run” guys, who just reAlly want to bed her @ all cost.

Go ahead and leave him, go meet ur back up plans..... You will really desire him back, then it will be fucking late for you dear

Wolfe

You nailed it Bro, that's how they hoes are.
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by cogwuche(m): 4:09pm On Jul 21, 2016
Babe if you are not happy please walk away without turning back, is all about you and not your family. marriage is suppose to be enjoyed and not to be endure. if he has not married u yet and u feel he is chocking u, after ur wedding he will suffocate ur life.i think his major problem is insecurity. shine ur eyes. any marriage that is build on fake impression will not last.its ur God giving right to be happi.
wishing u all the best
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by aristosoft(m): 4:09pm On Jul 21, 2016
This is close to what's happening to a friend. What made him feel so insecure? The friend has a dirty past. The guy always check to know if she has completely dumped the past or still peeps at it.

Whichever way, a guy can be jealous. Discuss it with him. But ask yourself or tell NL peeps what made him suspicious of you.
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by QueenEKAMMA(f): 4:13pm On Jul 21, 2016
My dear all i can see there is 'LOVE'. when a man is intoxicated in love with you, you better let him remain like that, because when he recovers, that means you are out of the picture. But also call him and have a tete-a-tete with him, there you can tell him things you don't like about his attitude. If he truely loves you, he will make amends. One more thing, give him your word that you won't cheat on him and that love is all about trust. Make him have that trust for you. Good luck.

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by crackhaus: 4:14pm On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:

I did nothing, he always bring his past experiences into our relationship.....I tire sef
I believe this only because I don't want to cast aspersions on your person.
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by SexyStrawberry(f): 4:17pm On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do

That drum that somebody is beating for u outside that u are dancing to, u will soon get the reward of it. The grass is always greener on the other person's field, continue finding faults u hear?

5 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by jidxin(m): 4:23pm On Jul 21, 2016
mimzy:

Thanks a lot. lolz, you are funny smiley
how I'm i funny ooo biko
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by maxxy22: 4:24pm On Jul 21, 2016
When someone loves you too much there is this fear not to lose you, he becomes so jealous, and he begins to do some crazy things thinking by so doing he will keep you in the relationship. He may not know he is chocking you or making you uncomfortable. I advise you have one on one discussion with him over the issue, let him know that you have nothing to hide and that you are not really comfortable with some of his behavior. Give him some time after that but if he continue with the attitude you may take your decision.
I wish you the best.

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by maxxy22: 4:25pm On Jul 21, 2016
When someone loves you too much there is this fear not to lose you, he becomes so jealous, and he begins to do some crazy things thinking by so doing he will keep you in the relationship. He may not know he is chocking you or making you uncomfortable. I advise you have one on one discussion with him over the issue, let him know that you have nothing to hide and that you are not really comfortable with some of his behavior. Give him some time after that but if he continue with the attitude you may take your decision.
I wish you the best.
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by SpeedndAccuracy(m): 4:26pm On Jul 21, 2016
I dunno much, but i do know that no-one is perfect.

Talk to him.

Make him understand u chose him...not like u were forced into it.

Make him feel secure...help him fight his insecurities

Pray for him

Be patient.

At d end of d day, fiance ≠ husband.

If he doesnt change, walk away.

You owe urself what u think is best for ur future.

Godspeed.
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by ginia1(f): 4:30pm On Jul 21, 2016
For me I have not taken him home yet but he just does not forgive,what we ahoukd not fight about he makes hell out of it. He even go as far as making comparisons,with his ex and I,i really dont know what to do,if I try to point his wrongs all he says is because am out of the country that's why am behaving this way.i love him but am also having a second thought,life is too short.
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by BlackMbakara1(m): 4:31pm On Jul 21, 2016
Depends on how far u guys have bin together. Walking out seems an option, is it the best? I'll suggest on a scale of 1-10 the good times u guys had together and weigh with his current behaviour...

If the good out-weighs the bad, stick!!!!! Else starting singing Craig David...
#justmylilcent.

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by cherry007(f): 4:33pm On Jul 21, 2016
Dexema post
Cherry, the lady is tired of it (dunno if its for the wrong or right reasons) she's just looking for a rock to cling on to make the decision. Reminds me of R.kelly's " when a woman's fed up "[/quote]

Dear, am a woman, I understand her better than you do, except the love is no longer there and she felt like switching over of wish is not easy. Heartbreak is equal to High BP if you are not careful.Let her not just take decision, sit him up and talk to him see his reactions before u take action.
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by buoye1(m): 4:33pm On Jul 21, 2016
mimzy:


BE WISE MY SISTER!!!

May God Almighty bless you more with wisdom... I'm so relieved after reading some disturbing advises some women gave !

Well....

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by daclemx: 4:34pm On Jul 21, 2016
NigAmbassador:
To be candid, u are just being selfish in trying to paint him black. You never pointed out his great and awesome attitude towards to you.

This happens when a woman got too much of attention from other "hit&run” guys, who just reAlly want to bed her @ all cost.

Go ahead and leave him, go meet ur back up plans..... You will really desire him back, then it will be fucking late for you dear

Wolfe

Guy, you hit the nail at the head...madam, the only thing you need to do is try to make that guy trust you completely...he has been hurt before that is why he is doing like this...he really likes you....

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by baeboo: 4:36pm On Jul 21, 2016
iamNotAlone:
He talks like a woman when he's angry. Overtly jealous , reads meaning to every of my moves.
If you see us on the street, you will think we are a perfect couple because of the way he treats me in public.
This is someone I tried so hard to make my family accept and right now my family likes him a lot because he has managed to put up a good image with them.

This guy is frustrating me a lot,suspects every move I make,quarrels like a woman, always going through my phone like I am hiding something in d phone. I am not happy most times and thinking of leaving but I don't know how to go about it..........I don't know what and how to tell my people cos they will start shouting on me and saying all sorts.
Again, he's always around me, wouldn't give me space. People think it's love but he's choking me.
I can't deal no more..... Pls, Fam.....what do I do
you sure say no be my ex fiance you dey talk about? My dear run oooo
The experience was not sweet
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by ofemigeorge(m): 4:37pm On Jul 21, 2016
Dont walk away. He is madly in love wit you. Someone like that ......(not that wat he is doing good,its bad)....will not play wit your matter at all,.but try to make him see reason to trust. Let any admirers of yours know our relationship status so they won't begin calling you at unnessary time of the day. That would create a scene. When he's angry ...you calm down and wit a matured voice tell him repeatedly to watch how he talks,he would reset. I want to beleiev you are very attractive....and all men are not the same. You can also help him wit this problem. Men are like a gift pack wat you see is wat you win. No man is perfect. This issue is mendable

1 Like

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by pek(m): 4:39pm On Jul 21, 2016
I honestly think you know the answer to the problem.
Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by mradjoy(m): 4:39pm On Jul 21, 2016
mimzy:


He is possessive, doesn't necessarily mean he does not love you.



The fact that he is a jealous and possessive lover does not mean he is not capable of treating you right in public or in private.


Please explain what you mean by the emboldened, is it that you have painted him to be who he is not to the members of your family or what?


All these are signs of insecurity, while i am not in support of his attitudes, have you also taken your time to have a tête-à-tête with him, have you tried to understand your man's love language? Men can be really funny at times and you will be surprised at your findings when you have a heart-to-heart convo with him.



You are the one in the relationship, you know where the shoe pinches, you are the one that will say "I do forever" to the guy in question, so put aside what your family members will think or say. But, trust me my dear, the grass is not always greener on the other side, your relationship with him still has a very good chance of survival.


After all said and done, we can only but proffer advise, the final decision lies in your hands, BE WISE MY SISTER!!!




My heart melts whenever I see a Lady who think differently, I mean a lady who think logically and not the ones who think through their anuses, those who think everything revolves around them only, trust me dear, that's who you are mimzy, you think like TRUE men thinks.

You have done a great job by bringing out those points mentioned up there, now it's left to her to decide which way to go, after all, it is possible to force a horse to the river, but the horse can not forced to drink water from the river!

I have been married for 7 good years, my wife has never given me any reason not to trust her, so why will I be possessive of her unnecessarily. I work overnight sometimes due to the nature of my work, so why will I be overtly jealous and possessive unnecessarily when she hasn't given a reason to do so?

@OP Best of advices has been given to you here, it is in ur best interest to sift through and choose the good ones and keep them close to ur heart if you don't want to BeAlone ok?

Modified: @iamNotAlone You need to watch this video now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF628DbcJbA

4 Likes

Re: I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' by streetzdreamz(m): 4:41pm On Jul 21, 2016
Evacroft:
Well, As for me I will say call a spade a spade, leave him and don't try working on the relationship. I was once in ur shoes. Pple wouldn't even believe he is bad untill I made them to start seeing the real him.
He will drain u of all ur inner securities, and they never change. Once u see a lousy man or an overly quiet one double check before going neck deep.
The truth is he loves u,but in a very wrong way,and mark my words he will abuse u both physically and emotionally with time cos he himself is not stable emotionally. Has he started been manipulative? He will and will also blackmail u emotionally. Talk to friends and family 'bout him they will help u thru it. Best of luck.
you might be right,but you are wrong with your assumption bout extremely quiet Guys@topic the points you mentioned are bad but i see it as a way of getting moral justifications, a man doesnt dote on a woman that much unless he feels he is threatened by another,you prolly built the relationship on something other than trust,you didnt earn his trust and that fueled his insecurities, truth is if you dont sit down and think things through and work on yourself, he is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode,cuz we all have our limits,he is extremely jealous,goes tru ur phones always,nags definitely you doing something wrong to warrant all this,if you cant work on ursef take a walk,no one was born perfect,you'd meet a guy who wouldnt give two hot fudge sundaes about all you are confused abt,then you start asking yourself if he really loves you at all,someone said you aint ready for marriage,the fellow might be right afterall.

1 Like

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