Never develop the habit of spending on a guy you're dating, there's no harm in helping them when they're in need, What real men want is a faithful lady, not one that spends on them.

To some spending on them reduces their self worth, even in marriages when a lady is the bread winner of the family, the men are not so happy, so why should your boyfriend be happy when you're the one doing virtually everything for him?, when such a relationship crashes, he has nothing to lose but you.

Imagine if all you do is:pay his school fees, pay rents, cook for him with your money whenever you visit, change his wardrobe, when there's no guarantee he will even marry you, neither are you his sugar mummy, is he handicap?. He will take all these and still cheat on you, and dump you when the need arise.

We ladies are naturally emotional, while the male counterparts are naturally logical, when he dumps you suicide is inevitable, he's likely to move on sooner that you.

He asked you out, you didn't ask him, why should you two go on a date, and you're the one buying everything, while he's collecting?.

Spending on a guy is not healthy, even your parents will frown at it.

Expecting the ladies you date to spend on you is like patronising a prostitute and asking her to pay you.

We're not in India where women marry men.

Yup if she loves him

Nothing bad

if there is a plan besides changing wardrobes and feeding him

if u can empower your man , either advancing his career , or setting him up.. thats a great idea


note the word ''Your Man''.

A very foolish act from the female folks

If she can afford it, it's better to be mutual than one-sided. Above all, be humble and don't compete.

i wouldnt want a lady to spend on me so i can call it offs easily without too much sermon should the relationship not fly on the high i expeted of it.i dnt even collect a sweet from a lady unless i'm close to been sure every gift a woman gives is a trap.

I dont understand, so because he asked you out you should just be collecting? You won't surprise him with gifts or pay for dinner once in a while? This is why guys keep shading ladies on this forum, you present yourselves as leeches.

it depends on the relationship... but normally yes she should

halfricanadian:
Yup if she loves him

Nothing bad

When he dumps you, you can go extra miles to harm him, because of all you gave.

Halfricanadian please there is a difference between being in love and being stvpid.



@op


You are right. Though a lady can support her guy when in need, dah doesn't mean she should become his mugu. Personally I won't tolerate a girlfrnd cooking feeding and paying my bills, so that when things go awry, she'll start saying crap like, after all i've done for him. I just don't Wana hear Dat statement!

Benita27:
When he dumps you, you can go extra miles to harm him, because of all you gave.

@Benita ask halfricanadian well o... she's making it sound too easy.

Benita27:
When he dumps you, you can go extra miles to harm him, because of all you gave.

Na i av helped guys in d past

Givin out my money for investment to get him fone nd wears nd i never harmed him cos of d fact i spent

Wen i do anytin i put God into it cos he sees even in d hidden nd pays every man according to his or her deeds

Why Nt.. it makez real sense, bt naija girlz wud neva agree!

You can as a woman "support" your guy financially etc. But at your own risk. Same with men who financially support women. No guarantees she will stay after you done sent finish.

Go DUTCH ideally.

Both party should contribute equall and bring something to the table. That way, if you dont end up together long term, none the looser.

Instead find love! If you are lucky to find love and support, only a fool will bypass it.


People are evil and will deceive you and lead you on until they use you up then flee at will.

Benita27:
When he dumps you, you can go extra miles to harm him, because of all you gave.

yes, she does that. You aren't far from the truth.

Cutehector:
Halfricanadian please there is a difference between being in love and being stvpid.



@op


You are right. Though a lady can support her guy when in need, dah doesn't mean she should become his mugu. Personally I won't tolerate a girlfrnd cooking feeding and paying my bills, so that when things go awry, she'll start saying crap like, after all i've done for him. I just don't Wana hear Dat statement!

Ok

supersystems:
i wouldnt want a lady to spend on me so i can call it offs easily without too much sermon should the relationship not fly on the high i expeted of it.i dnt even collect a sweet from a lady unless i'm close to been sure every gift a woman gives is a trap.

So your own reason for spending on a lady is so that when she breaks up you can come here and brag about how you spent on her.
Now I get why Nairaland guys keep using the phrase "after all I have spent on her" it boosts your ego and make you claim ownership. Smh

To be sincere I will be proud if I do all those things for my guy, that's why I can't date talkless of love someone I'm richer than but that doesn't mean I won't surprise him once in a while

Cutehector:
Halfricanadian please there is a difference between being in love and being stvpid.



@op


You are right. Though a lady can support her guy when in need, dah doesn't mean she should become his mugu. Personally I won't tolerate a girlfrnd cooking feeding and paying my bills, so that when things go awry, she'll start saying crap like, after all i've done for him. I just don't Wana hear Dat statement!

But you guys say that all the time. Even the ones that bought 200 naira recharge cards.

Only "few" naija babe will spend on a guy..
They have that dull mentality that their bf must spend and must alws be the one to spend.

halfricanadian:


Na i av helped guys in d past

Givin out my money for investment to get him fone nd wears nd i never harmed him cos of d fact i spent

Wen i do anytin i put God into it cos he sees even in d hidden nd pays every man according to his or her deeds

Wow how admirable dear,i get it now you're a purist at heart God Bless you.you'll get to find the right one who would love and value you the same time.But there's somethin i belive many men share,if they dont thrust to earn and if it appears too easily they begin to question themselves internally and ask externally why they're in the relationship,been unable to find the answers from within they embark on a journey and never return back..i've watched this particular episode over a hundred times to mention the least

halfricanadian:


Na i av helped guys in d past

Givin out my money for investment to get him fone nd wears nd i never harmed him cos of d fact i spent

Wen i do anytin i put God into it cos he sees even in d hidden nd pays every man according to his or her deeds

Stop preaching halfricanadian, women are too mean, only few will let go.

A guy has been spiritually crippled, because he dumped a girl that cared for him for years and married a newbie.

So where's the equality you guys ain't ready yet


See people looking for equality

JustHere2Observ:


But you guys say that all the time. Even the ones that bought 200 naira recharge cards.

I don't count whatever material things i've spent on a lady who didn't love me bak as "regret"



I've shunned a lot of money to borrowers in my life compared to that which i"ve spent on ladies so I don't even make such statements.


I had an ex who scammed me of 10k, I never had sex with her, nothing. Not for a day I mentioned abt it in my break up text. Ah mean, what d fvck is material things? People lose money everyday, banks go bankrupt, then it is because of 200nair card Dat I will now go and tell my babe, "after all Dat I have spent on you"

Dats nonsense. I don't do Dat.

There is no single route in achieving a smooth relationship my dear, different tricks works for different folks that's why I really do not fancy relationship advice, what works for Mr. A might just be what killed Mr. B relationship

Cutehector:
I don't count whatever material things i've spent on a lady who didn't love me bak as "regret"



I've shunned a lot of money to borrowers in my life compared to that which i"ve spent on ladies so I don't even make such statements.


I had an ex who scammed me of 10k, I never had sex with her, nothing. Not for a day I mentioned abt it in my break up text. Ah mean, what d fvck is material things? People lose money everyday, banks go bankrupt, then it is because of 200nair card Dat I will now go and tell my babe, "after all Dat I have spent on you"

Dats nonsense. I don't do Dat.

You might be the exception but a lot of the guys here post break up stories with that line.

mizzbouqui:
To be sincere I will be proud if I do all those things for my guy, that's why I can't date talkless of love someone I'm richer than but that doesn't mean I won't surprise him once in a while

By surprise do you mean the regular boxers and singlet?

JustHere2Observ:


So your own reason for spending on a lady is so that when she breaks up you can come here and brag about how you spent on her.
Now I get why Nairaland guys keep using the phrase "after all I have spent on her" it boosts your ego and make you claim ownership. Smh

JustHere2Observ:


So your own reason for spending on a lady is so that when she breaks up you can come here and brag about how you spent on her.
Now I get why Nairaland guys keep using the phrase "after all I have spent on her" it boosts your ego and make you claim ownership. Smh

Lol take it easy bae i'm not use ex-...

Anyways power is easier to control by men not women.Not a single person i helped in the past ten years called me to say thanks or dropped me an email,wat do i care ? Nothin.The tins we see and hear ladies and the extent to punish guys for tins they say without them.Off some friends tried to have me killed for similar reasons recently,i escaped because the Lord saves His beloved but not without deep consequences.We are all on the same page but alot of people can't manage hurt adequately when Obi doesn't come to school..and what they become is what's scary...do u know how many times as a man i weep remembering meeting these my friends or what i lost...no let me talk jare...u geff d point

Benita27:
Stop preaching halfricanadian, women are too mean, only few will let go.

A guy has been spiritually crippled, because he dumped a girl that cared for him for years and married a newbie.

Lol at ha;fricanada is preaching okay let me add my personal experience but this time btw childhood friends.i slumped from a guy raking in serious cash to less than thousands cos my friends couldnt handle my departure,they tried to kill me over 5years and have me stripped spiritually..these are childhood buddies not just friends o.

Dont collect things from people u dnt trust with 99% of ur heart words on marble

JustHere2Observ:


You might be the exception but a lot of the guys here post break up stories with that line.

and a lot of ladies too! I have a lot of female friends who bore me with such stories and I just feel like givn dem a hard konk. Well, even after people go through this thread, many will still complain abt their investments in their complicated relationships.

baseless argument!!