In recent times, the bride price has come under much controversy. As man evolves and education spreads, societal convention and age-long traditions are being called to question. As the economy dwindles and cost of living rises, the bride price is becoming a difficult hurdle for many. Others feel it's an archaic practice, one synonymous with the enslavement of the women folk. Others still hold fast to the traditions of their forefathers as one of nobility and sacredness; and they'll readily tell you that even Adam paid with his rib to get Eve.


Concisely, women can be grouped into 4 Categories based on their views on bride price. Each category offers a window view into her mindset and her general outlook on the world and on marriage.


Category 1

THE HARD HAT:
The keys of her father's tradition is firmly tucked in her brassiere. She's fully in touch with her feminity and she sees bride price as an honour to her. She knows her worth and dignity and is full of self-belief. Her man must prove himself not just before her but before her kindred. She knows she's worthy to be earned. While she may habour some issues with tradition, she'd stand faithful and let tradition lead the way. She would most probably make a good, understanding wife even in rough times. On the downside, her loyalty to her father may supersede that of her husband.



Category 2

AMBIVALENT JANE:

She's caught in the crossfire of love and traditional obligation. She feels genuine concern and pity for her man when she stares at the huge demand list of bridal requirements. Yet she can't turn her back on tradition. She wouldn't be the first amongst her people to begin this "shameful practice", she tells herself. She would like her own wedding ceremony to be written on the village folklore too. Afterall, "what woman is there who doesn't desire to be fought for and earned by a man", she consoles her flabby conscience.

But still, her heart beats in sympathy for her man. She can be persuaded.


Category 3

THE RATIONALIST:

A free thinker rather than a feminist, or a passive feminist if you may. Her little mind is her god and she will bow to no other. Her motive and view on bride price is without malice but she is ignorant. She believes man is a free being and bound to no tradition or religious dictates. Her moral conduct too is subject to what she "feels". Consequently, she sees bride price as unnecessary, even fraudulent.

Expect her to walk out of your marriage when she "feels" she's no longer in love.


Category 4

THE REBEL:

She's a feminist! An active one in her own right and She's full of malice. Her heart and mindset is a brewing tempest of anger -- anger towards the world and what it stands for.

Her views on bride price is distorted by her ego and rebellious heart. She believes the world is anti-women and she points readily at bride price as proof. She's yet to accept her identity as a woman. She's of the view that life is not fair to her and that the world is indebted to her.

"I am not for sale and would definitely not be bought", she retorts! That's her view on bride price. She won't readily tell her man thus, but she'd oppose the idea of bride price vehemently, not out of love or pity, but out of a fragile ego. She's full of insecurity.

Life being married to her is beyond the scope of this topic.

Oboy this plane must surely land for front page airport oh...anyhow sha I carry bomb enter,if e no land I bomb the thread.lol

---

So which one are Igbo girls

Very funny...

I need a rationalist in my life...

So which of them should we go for?

Hmmm, this your list is inconclusive.

Our so-called Nigerian feminists still dey give list and collect brideprice before person fit marry dem na...why the confusion?

Your Category 5 should be:

[size=18pt]THE POST-MODERN CONFUSIONIST[/size]

crackhaus:
Hmmm, this your list is inconclusive.

Our so-called Nigerian feminists still dey give list and collect brideprice before person fit marry dem na...why the confusion?

Your Category 5 should be:

[size=18pt]THE POST-MODERN CONFUSIONIST[/size]

Thanks for the complement -- a very crucial and factual one!

postmann:


Thanks for the complement -- a very crucial and factual one!

You're welcome boss.

Any married REBEL who once had lists and brideprice or any unmarried REBEL that still intends to have lists and brideprice, has VVIP access and reservations for the special & distinguished Category 5.

I don't see how giving out a list and a few farm animals = honour for any woman . I really do hate the concept of bride price, a tradition that neither had usefulness nor purpose .

byvan03:
I don't see how giving out a list and a few farm animals = honour for any woman . I really do hate the concept of bride price, a tradition that neither had usefulness nor purpose .

To each his own, but perhaps your tenet on marriage would shed more light to understanding your views on bride price.

postmann:



To each his own, but perhaps your tenet on marriage would shed more light to understanding your views on bride price.

People get hitched because they want to forge a life with the one they love . It's not a favour to either party, so I can never understand the purpose of the list. It makes it look more of a commercial activity , where the buyer expects to derive maximum utility from goods purchased .

Culture is dynamic, and the tradition of bride price did not fall down like manna from heaven, it was institutionalized by humans—our ancestors if you may.

So, since culture is an invention of man that is dynamic, its relevancy should be gauged from time to time to determine if it still has value and worthy of practicing, or if it is just an anachronism constituting a nuisance.

I hold no briefs for the concept of bride price—never did and never will. It is an unnecessary practice and a nuisance with little to zero symbolic import.

And not just because I see it as women being bought or any of that kind of stuff, but because I refuse to let my ancestors think for me, because I refuse to follow rules mapped out centuries ago by people whose intentions during the process of conceiving these rules remain unclear.

This generation must begin to think for itself rather than harking back to the past and letting our ancestors think for us.

Lalasticlala come and see oh, there's a snake here.

darkenedrebel:
Culture is dynamic, and the tradition of bride price did not fall down like manna from heaven, it was institutionalized by humans—our ancestors if you may.

So, since culture is an invention of man that is dynamic, its relevancy should be gauged from time to time to determine if it still has value and worthy of practicing, or if it is just an anachronism constituting a nuisance.

I hold no briefs for the concept of bride price—never did and never will. It is an unnecessary practice and a nuisance with little to zero symbolic import.

And not just because I see it as women being bought or any of that kind of stuff, but because I refuse to let my ancestors think for me, because I refuse to follow rules mapped out centuries ago by people whose intentions during the process of conceiving these rules remain unclear.

This generation must begin to think for itself rather than harking back to the past and letting our ancestors think for us.

And this is the opinion is a 19 year old? Who still doesn't know that our tradition and culture is what separates us from the West.

Marvelous.

byvan03:




People get hitched because they want to forge a life with the one they love . It's not a favour to either party, so I can never understand purpose of the list. It makes it look more of a commercial activity , where the buyer expects to derive maximum utility from goods purchased .

Irrespective of what various tribes or ethnicities might have conjure up on bribe price, it remains a very symbolic aspect of the great transition called marriage. If marrying a woman required no "manly ritual" such as bride price, I tell you, the institution of marriage would have suffered a total collapse and loss of value. It would be as simple as walking into a bathroom and working out.

Bride price protects the sanctity of marriage, making it dear and symbolic. It also has a spiritual signifance -- where man and spirits are appeased. True there are marital problems even with bride price, but without it, it would be worse..

I don't know your religious tenets but mind you, marriage was never initiated by man. It's not the property of our ancestors.

But then, a woman who wants to give herself to her man without bridal requirements is free to do so if she will.

SalomonKane:
And this is the opinion is a 19 year old? Who still doesn't know that our tradition and culture is what separates us from the West.
Marvelous.

How many accounts do you own? And who told you that I'm 19? I know I fuckëd your mother senseless, but I don't recall ever telling her my age. Well, if that would make you sleep better then run along with it. Clueless ninja(s).

No one is talking about the West here, and yes, our culture and traditions are what distinct us from the West and the rest of the world, so also are their culture and tradition the distinctive lines between them and us. Who doesn't know this?

My point is that not all practices have logical symmetry to them or any significant value(some did ab initio, but it pined away overtime)—that something has been done since 30 BC doesn't mean it should continue even if it loses its relevance. That was why I started out by saying: Culture is dynamic. Only staunch traditionalists would disagree.

Twins were seen as evil in Calabar, and according to customs and traditions they were either to be killed or left to die in the evil forest. The foregoing is an example that shores up the claim that not all cultural practices are right. Before you misunderstand me, I'm not saying 'bride-price' is wrong, I'm only saying it's unnecessary and a nuisance.

And I believe everyone's is entitled to his/her opinion. If you do not agree with a person's view or cannot counter his/her point without bringing your immaturity to the fore, then it's best to seal your lips and move on to the next topic.

postmann:


Irrespective of what various tribes or ethnicities might have conjure up on bribe price, it remains a very symbolic aspect of the great transition called marriage. If marrying a woman required no "manly ritual" such as bride price, I tell you, the institution of marriage would have suffered a total collapse and loss of value. It would be as simple as walking into a bathroom and working out.

Bride price protects the sanctity of marriage, making it dear and symbolic. It also has a spiritual signifance -- where man and spirits are appeased. True there are marital problems even with bride price, but without it, it would be worse..

I don't know your religious tenets but mind you, marriage was never initiated by man. It's not the property of our ancestors.

Okay ooo, to each his own. A symbolic item like calabash, cowries e.t.c will serve as better price. I don't see anything symbolic about goat, yams, kolanuts and a few change. The term " price " is even worrying, very commercial . One will have to stick it out for this life time,i guess some things never change.

darkenedrebel:
Culture is dynamic, and the tradition of bride price did not fall down like manna from heaven, it was institutionalized by humans—our ancestors if you may.

So, since culture is an invention of man that is dynamic, its relevancy should be gauged from time to time to determine if it still has value and worthy of practicing, or if it is just an anachronism constituting a nuisance.

I hold no briefs for the concept of bride price—never did and never will. It is an unnecessary practice and a nuisance with little to zero symbolic import.

And not just because I see it as women being bought or any of that kind of stuff, but because I refuse to let my ancestors think for me, because I refuse to follow rules mapped out centuries ago by people whose intentions during the process of conceiving these rules remain unclear.

This generation must begin to think for itself rather than harking back to the past and letting our ancestors think for us.

Thank you! I couldn't have said it better.

darkenedrebel:


How many accounts do you own? And who told you that I'm 19? I know I fuckëd your mother senseless, but I don't recall ever telling her my age. Well, if that would make you sleep better then run along with it. Clueless ninjas.


I shouldn't even be replying this inane comment.
No one is talking about the West here, and yes, our culture and traditions are what distinct us from the West and the rest of the world, so also are their culture and tradition the distinctive lines between them and us. Who doesn't know this?

My point is that not all practices have logical symmetry to them, or even any significant value—that something has been done since 30BC doesn't mean it should continue even if it loses its relevance. That was why I started out by saying: Culture is dynamic.

Twins were seen as evil in Calabar, and according to customs and traditions they were either killed or left to die in the evil forest. The foregoing is an example that shores up the claim that not all cultural practices are right. Before you misunderstand me, I'm not saying 'bride-price' is wrong, I'm only saying it's unnecessary and a nuisance.

And I believe everyone's is entitled to his/her opinion. If you do not agree with a person's view or cannot counter his/her point without bringing your immaturity to the fore, then it's best to seal your lips and move on to the next thread.

And this is coming from a raped son of a LovePeddler, who begs women for money for his day to day life?

A loose cannon who go about the internet seeking for unsuspecting married women to scam and shame? Truly teenager Haim Saban made no mistake in making you a loose ass Power Ranger reject.

To think you'd ask how many accounts I own when indeed, you're the owner of accounts because your very existence depends on the internet for without it, you still will be a loose drop dead God forsaken teenager who was mentally, spiritually, psychologically and morally raped by his father.

If you truly know our culture and tradition distinct us from the West, then why in Hell did you post that nonsense up there, oh... I see, you must be looking for unsuspecting married women to scam once again with your Google up vocab that can't even make you pass Jamb.

I never for once expect a sh1t head teenager to know the ways of our tradition due to the fact that his father was busy fucking_ and manhandling other women, when he should be instilling traditional values in his pathological son who transgender to be a Google loose brain.

Yes! Twins were once killed in Nigeria, but that was because people didn't know any better. So, simpleton, as much as you want to say the issue of bride price is a thing of personal opinion, you should remember the elders in the village who wouldn't waste any time In taking your depraved and self seeking begging ass back in the days, when men where men.

So you see, as much as people tend to want to see the issue of bride as a matter of personal opinion, they should remember their custom and traditions for that, is more potent that the superfluous modes of modernization which have cause teenagers like you, to believe they can meddle in the affairs of men.

Run to your father you darkened pretentious baboon and ask him if he didn't collect bride price from your wretched sister, when that looser of a man she called a husband came calling for her hand in marriage.

In as much as opinion is something everybody is entitled to, that doesn't make it right for people to believe opinion can overtake tradition. Not that I expect you a simpleton to understand this.

So flee and be free from the ways of begging.

byvan03:




Okay ooo, to each his own. A symbolic item like calabash, cowries e.t.c will serve as better price. I don't see anything symbolic about goat, yams, kolanuts and a few change. The term " price " is even worrying, very commercial . One will have to stick it out for this life time,i guess some things never change.

It all makes one big, symbolic, never-to-forget ceremony. And It means a lot to men too.

Don't see "price" from a monetary point of view. See it as "requirement".

A woman who belongs to nobody is an outcast. And she is vulnerable and without defence. A woman belongs to her father, and her father belongs to his kindred. The bride price is symbolic; an act of honour and respect that a woman has been well and honourably given out in marriage.

There's this brashness and arrogance with this generation and they assume a lot. Part of that assumption is that they know better than their forefather and yet to live out a hundred years is beyond their grasp.

postmann:


It all makes one big, symbolic, never-to-forget ceremony. And It means a lot to men too.

Don't see "price" from a monetary point of view. See it as "requirement".

A woman who belongs to nobody is an outcast. And she is vulnerable and without defence. A woman belongs to her father, and her father belongs to his kindred. The bride price is symbolic; an act of honour and respect that a woman has been well and honourably given out in marriage.

There's this brashness and arrogance with this generation and they assume a lot. Part of that assumption is that they know better than their forefather and yet to live out a hundred years is beyond their grasp.

The assertion that the ancestors are full of wisdom is only for those that refused to think beyond norms and chose not to question conventions . You said it means a lot to men, I suppose the same feeling you get when you buy an expensive car. The matter at hand has nothing to do with a woman's placement , whether out caste or free born, as a matter of fact totally unrelated.

There is nothing honourable about being priced, a woman's true worth should be priceless. A symbolic item would have made more sense than the long list and a few coin. Do you know that bride price is haggled? What's respectful about being priced like a commodity?

Being a requirement doesn't change the fact that it is monetary , humans should be priceless. It's hardly different from being sold.

Why is it that your threads never escape a showdown? People end up cursing out themselves .

byvan03:
Why is it that your threads never escape a showdown? People end up cursing out themselves .

It's the spur of the moment. It happens and there isn't anything one can do about it. That's why we go with the flow.

However, I will not look the other way if and when lobotomize and depraved massa damnata purile individuals feel the need to insult my parents just because there is no age in the internet.

Least I say if this were to be real life, that purus idiota of a failed experiment born out of a test tube, will be running errands for me.

So, we should be careful who and whose opinion we support or adhere to because I still will never believe a teenager should meddle in the affairs of men, be it in the internet or real life, after all, this is the family section.

byvan03:



The assertion that the ancestors are full of wisdom is only for those that refused to think beyond norms and chose not to question conventions .

The ancestors are full of wisdom no doubt. Theirs was pure, naked wisdom. They walked closer with the gods and learned firsthand.All the best books on wisdom were written by them. Theirs was an imperfect world too. But if we allowed most of their values to prevail, we would be safer.

byvan03:

You said it means a lot to men, I suppose the same feeling you get when you buy an expensive car. The matter at hand has nothing to do with a woman's placement , whether out caste or free born, as a matter of fact totally unrelated.

That comparison is most unfortunate. And it must have been birthed from a mind conditioned to think negatively by prevailing circumstances.

It is manly to fight and earn a woman. Not as a property but as an act of being able to take care of her.

And yes, a woman belongs to her father. In marriage contraction, bride price is a form of gratitude or appeasement to her father and her father's people.

byvan03:


There is nothing honourable about being priced, a woman's true worth should be priceless. A symbolic item would have made more sense than the long list and a few coin. Do you know that bride price is haggled? What's respectful about being priced like a commodity?

There's honour when a man recognises the fact that his woman is priceless and that if she actually was to be sold, she definitely couldn't be bought. The bridal list of requirements and process may be flawed in some climes, but then again, men who know how valuable their women are will go for it bringing honour to their women, she's worth it and more.

byvan03:

Being a requirement doesn't change the fact that it is monetary , humans should be priceless. It's hardly different from being sold.

Even after the bride price is paid, even after several years, the process can still be reversed with the bride price returned. It was never a matter of buying and selling as the antagonists would like everyone to believe.

It is simply a matter of symbolic traditional requirements for man and spirit.

byvan03:
Why is it that your threads never escape a showdown? People end up cursing out themselves .

It's not restricted to my threads and I can't control what anyone types. So far, I'm still trying to maintain the route of civility.

byvan03:


Thank you! I couldn't have said it better.

Sante Sana. That's Swahili for 'Thank You'.

SalomonKane:
And this is coming from a raped son of a LovePeddler, who begs women for money for his day to day life?

Did your mother tell you that I begged her for money after she sucked my cöck with her Amy Winehouse teeth? See me see wahala ooo.

A loose cannon who go about the internet seeking for unsuspecting married women to scam and shame? Truly teenager Haim Saban made no mistake in making you a loose ass Power Ranger reject

Delusions of a sociopathic maniac with identity crisis. You even had to log into your pseudo-account just to quote me. Ain't I your god?

To think you'd ask how many accounts I own when indeed, you're the owner of accounts because [s]your very existence depends on the internet for without it[/s] you still will be a loose drop dead God forsaken teenager who was mentally, spiritually, psychologically and morally raped by his father

You sound like a brain-damaged gnat. You can't even diss well. How can I even grace this cobblers with a diss? It's so so pitiful.

I haven't even been active on this forum for weeks!

You keep tabs on all my activities, and quote me every chance you get(You keep coming with different accounts and you keep getting ignored). It is no secret that people tend to accuse other people of what they are guilty of—it's called projection of insecurity.

You operate a passel of accounts, you have no substantive social life outside this forum(an inexorable Nairaland addict)—also judging from the time you spend on here and the time you use in alternating between your numerous accounts it's also highly unlikely that you have a girlfriend or that you're sexually active, plus I live rent free in your little head(I don't even give a tuppence about NL shenanigans)

If you and your goons put the time you use in having delusions over me to productive work, Nigeria would be a better place.

So, basically you're a social recluse, and the only thing you have that's close to being a life is Nairaland and Nairaland alone. This is a new account and yet it's amassed so many posts in just a few days—you need to get off Nairaland, son. Face reality, go to a club house. You are stuck on the internet —so stuck you don't even know what is real anymore. What a pity!

And just because you cannot do without logging in on NL for a day doesn't mean other people don't have great things going on in their lives that's keeping them busy.

Like I said, get a LIFE, phony-āss jabberwocky.

[s]you truly know our culture and tradition distinct us from the West, then why in Hell did you post that nonsense up there, oh... I see, you must be looking for unsuspecting married women to scam once again with your Google up vocab that can't even make you pass Jamb.
I never for once expect a sh1t head teenager to know the ways of our tradition due to the fact that his father was busy fucking_ and manhandling other women, when he should be instilling traditional values in his pathological son who transgender to be a Google loose brain.
Yes! Twins were once killed in Nigeria, but that was because people didn't know any better. So, simpleton, as much as you want to say the issue of bride price is a thing of personal opinion, you should remember the elders in the village who wouldn't waste any time In taking your depraved and self seeking begging ass back in the days, when men where men.
So you see, as much as people tend to want to see the issue of bride as a matter of personal opinion, they should remember their custom and traditions for that, is more potent that the superfluous modes of modernization which have cause teenagers like you, to believe they can meddle in the affairs of men.
Run to your father you darkened pretentious baboon and ask him if he didn't collect bride price from your wretched sister, when that looser of a man she called a husband came calling for her hand in marriage.
In as much as opinion is something everybody is entitled to, that doesn't make it right for people to believe opinion can overtake tradition. Not that I expect you a simpleton to understand this.
So flee and be free from the ways of begging[/s]

Words of wisdom: "Never argue with a fool, he will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience "

You should face your studies, kid. Your thinking is so basic, perhaps if you read more you would be more sensible.

Google my vocab? How old are you, son?

And talking about JAMB, shouldn't you be focused on passing that?. A university graduate surely cannot ptyalize something this stûpid.

My regards to your mother, though—tell her that I'm bringing two of my friends to her apartment on Tuesday—one would take her up front, the other in her mouth, while I make myself comfortable in her booty hole. I promise to go easy in her rectum.

I'm outta here.

darkenedrebel:


Did your mother tell you that I begged her for money after she sucked my cöck with her Amy Winehouse teeth? See me see wahala ooo.

Oh Wahala you will see because like you, your mother is a loose blue faced b1tch who begged niggers for money just so she can ease her loose vagina. Isn't that the reason she abandoned you with an abusive father who abused you beyond recognition to the point you now seek relevance in an online faceless forum?

Delusions of a sociopathic maniac with identity crisis. You even had to log into your pseudo-account just to quote me. Ain't I your god?

Like I quoted you first with my pseudo account you piss poor bastard. I believe you now revel in spewing hogwash out from your dirty 32 that hasn't seen the joy of a tooth paste, talkless of Sodium Chloride. Look fool, you're an idiot_ with no sense of shame and time.

You sound like a brain-damaged gnat. You can't even diss well. How can even grace this cobblers with a diss? It's so so

Oh I believe you know how to diss then because Coogar, Lezz, Postmann, TheSonOfMack and even Muva have so dissed your loose and abhorrent ass to the point of no return that's why you now know who can diss, and who can't diss? No wonder you're brain dead.

I

haven't even been active on this forum for weeks!

Who cares where you've been you darkened overbloated baboon? You can take a trip to Hell for all I care.

You keep tabs on all my activities, and quote me every chance you get(You keep coming with different accounts and you keep getting ignored). It is no secret that people tend to accuse other people of what they are guilty of—it's called projection of insecurity.

I curse the day I keep tabs on your activity. Like you didn't come here meddling in things that concerns you not, hoping to find unsuspecting married women who you can confuse with your piss poor logic that still can't even make you pass Jamb. Here you talk of 'projection of insecurity' when the only thing you project is your insecure wasteless life that has rendered you a worthless wastrel. Isn't that why you go from website to website seeking for women to deceive? You foolish and disgraced child from Hades himself?.

You operate a passel of accounts, you have no substantive social life outside this forum(an inexorable Nairaland addict)—also judging from the time you spend on here and the time you use in alternating between your numerous accounts it's also highly unlikely that you have a girlfriend or that you're sexually active, plus I live rent free in your little head(I don't even give a tuppence about NL shenanigans)

Like you don't operate different account, you the one who opened a female moniker account just to woo himself because life has made you a sour loser. Here you talk about me not having a girlfriend when like I said, you sordidly and shamelessly wooed yourself just to make you believe your life isn't miserable. Tell me, just how miserable and wretched are you Gbadebo? Did social media not avail you with the opportunity to deceive and scam women that you stoop to the bottom of wooing yourself? The day you decide to live in my head rent free, is the day you decide to take your own miserable life.

If you and your goons put the time you use in having delusions over me to productive work, Nigeria would be a better place.

Where in Lagos do you stay lemme invite you and give you the life your shameless father and whore_ of a mother couldn't give you? Just so you know that even in real life, you will never measure or amount to anything. Even my faeces have more value than you Gbedebo.

So, basically you're a social recluse, and the only thing you have that's close to being a life is Nairaland and Nairaland alone. This is a new account and yet it's amassed so many posts in just a few days—you need to get off Nairaland, son. Face reality, go to a club house. You are stuck on the internet —so stuck you don't even know what is real anymore. What a pity![/quote|Like I said, lemme know where you stay so I can give you a thorough trip down the aisle of Lagos, then after i'll beat tha Hell outta you so next time, you won't go meddle in what doesn't concern you, especially when adults are concern. You thin and skinny child. I'm sure those poverty stricken kids in Somalia are well fed than you.

And just because you cannot do without logging in on NL for a day doesn't mean other people don't have great things going on in their lives that's keeping them busy.

[quote]Like I said, get a LIFE

Like I told you, I already have a life, and it's tenn times better than anything your loser of a father can ever give a tormented boy like you.

"Never argue with a fool, he will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience "

Oh Google forgot to tell you to add the name of the person you quote right? No wonder you're a thief and a blunt face loser. Next time, read hard copy books so you're know how to make appropriate reference.

You should face your studies, kid. Your thinking is so basic, perhaps if you read more you would be more sensible.

You should learn how to follow your own advice you twisted bastard and worthless son of an archaic gun. You who couldn't even pass Jamb is here talking about thinking, like I told you boy, flee from the affairs of me, lest you be stripe naked_ and flogged like a thief.

Google my vocab? How old are you, son?

Old enough to drink with your father and let him know he bore a loser for a son.

And talking about JAMB, shouldn't you be focused on passing that?. A university graduate surely cannot ptyalize something this stûpid.

And only a Jamb repeated failure can surely write this mundane nonsense. Please read your books and think about how you will make your mother stop crying just because you continue to embarrass her by failing Jamb repeatedly.

My regards to your mother, though—tell her that I'm bringing two of my friends to her apartment on Tuesday—one would take her up front, the other in her mouth, while I make myself comfortable in her booty hole. I promise to go easy in her rectum.

And my regards to that loser of a father who rejected and molested you and left you a failed blunt face baboon. Let him know I'll be bringing members of the National Orientation Agency to his shindig, just to re-orientate his dilapidated brain so when next he bears a child, he won't make the mistake he made with you.

I'm outta here.

Run with your tail behind your legs, and tell your mum she was never a good Bleep because she was no better than a log of wood when I rammed into her from behind. Funny she kept mentioning my name and singing to me that your dad was weak in making a woman feel like a woman.

Gbadebo! Curse be the day your father entered your mother and deposited that watery liquid that transformed into the misformed nonentity that is you!.