cococandy:
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across in this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.

byvan03:



You and physical /spiritual realm are like 5 n 6 . In that case, the biblical method of serving the girl's father for a few years will suffice, am sure there won't be any cow required afterwards.

LadyOfgrace:
I love the idea of my husband being flogged a hundred strokes though, makes a lot of sense

byvan03:


It's not really my job to convince you. Its ok to disregard my so called "shallow " opinion and move on.

SalomonKane:
Perhaps you will also like the idea of your husband ruling and lording over you, after being flogged 100 stroke of the cane.

I'm sure you know the wife of a Fulani man doesn't have the luxury of airing her opinion(s) Which means all your education will be as silent as the 'W' in wrestling.

cococandy:
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across in this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.

byvan03:



I can't wait for every damn thing to be scrapped, let's see what is there to hold onto. You totally got the drift. The koboko method should be the bride price, since they need something to win money is too disposable . I doubt any man will subject himself to that without being blind,deaf and crippled in love. This method certainly will be more preserving for the institution. When you want behave like the devil's sanitary pad and remember how many strokes you endured to win her, you comport yourself.

Mindfulness:




And the funny thing is that any cultural practice MUST differ from any Western cultural practices, which makes Western cultural practices the yardstick after all.

What a paradox!

I want to see an American or a European say: "We have to do this and that so that we differ from Africans."

Mental slavery!

And the funniest thing of all is that Christianity was brought to these people by Westerners along with the gender roles and steeotypes which they are still clinging to.

byvan03:




Okay ooo, to each his own. A symbolic item like calabash, cowries e.t.c will serve as better price. I don't see anything symbolic about goat, yams, kolanuts and a few change. The term " price " is even worrying, very commercial . One will have to stick it out for this life time,i guess some things never change.

postmann:


The ancestors are full of wisdom no doubt. Theirs was pure, naked wisdom. They walked closer with the gods and learned firsthand.All the best books on wisdom were written by them. Theirs was an imperfect world too. But if we allowed most of their values to prevail, we would be safer.




That comparison is most unfortunate. And it must have been birthed from a mind conditioned to think negatively by prevailing circumstances.

It is manly to fight and earn a woman. Not as a property but as an act of being able to take care of her.

And yes, a woman belongs to her father. In marriage contraction, bride price is a form of gratitude or appeasement to her father and her father's people.



There's honour when a man recognises the fact that his woman is priceless and that if she actually was to be sold, she definitely couldn't be bought. The bridal list of requirements and process may be flawed in some climes, but then again, men who know how valuable their women are will go for it bringing honour to their women, she's worth it and more.






Even after the bride price is paid, even after several years, the process can still be reversed with the bride price returned. It was never a matter of buying and selling as the antagonists would like everyone to believe.

It is simply a matter of symbolic traditional requirements for man and spirit.

LadyOfgrace:
I love the idea of my husband being flogged a hundred strokes though, makes a lot of sense

SalomonKane:
Says who, ma'am? I'll have you know right from the time the Portugese visited the Bini empire, our cultural practices differ from that of the west. The concept of 'marriage' or what have you did not stem from the West. It was something that was widely accepted before Mungo Park discovered River Niger.

Oh they've longed been doing and saying this ma'am, that's why they tried eroding our culture and replacing it with theirs (christianity). The Europeans so much wanted to differ from us, that's why they decided to make us like them. I'm sure you've heard of the Policy of Assimilation in French west Africa colonies?.

Gender role(s) wasn't brought by the West ma'am. The only thing the West Brought was mental slavery by virtue of their greatest tool, christianity. I'll have you know that before the coming of the Europeans, gender role(s) were clearly spelt and known by almost all African cultures. So the West have absolutely nothing to do with that.

In other words, A real African man doesn't need a dick to know he has to provide for his woman, neither does a real African women need a vagina to know she has to support her man. (sorry for being graphic).

cococandy:
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across in this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.

lezz:
Another taradiddle from no one else but Coco herself.

It's a waste of digital ink reasserting you have always been pro-divorce and the institution of marriage means little to you.

Men are the founders and custodians of culture and tradition and it's our prerogative to change and alter it while you opt for triffle claptrap and blackmail.

You have never seen life beyond your feminist-binoculars. So you advocate that marriage be actualised by fücking and kissing?

Even in courtship men have always brought gifts as a symbolic gesture for the women they love. And most families, spearheaded by the fathers have always returned the bride price taking only a pinch of it as a mark of good will.

Coco, Men have always frowned at usurious and expensive marital requirements, but advocating that bride price be abolished, when we all know majority of families demand only a token only bears credence that you're uncomfortable with yourself.

Real women are comfortable with reasonable bride price, women like you who are covered with false airs and postiche are always without any sense of culture and tradition.

If your community (hello Byvan03) demand for keke napep and sewing machines and all the wrappers assorted for the women in your village, mine don't .

SalomonKane:
So you're telling us your husband did not pay your bride price when he came asking for your hand in marriage?

I want to believe you stood firm and look your father in th eyes and tell him your husband won't pay a dime on your head, neither will he bring the traditional gifts ascribe when he declared his intent to marry you?

Mindfulness:


Did I say that Africans didn'T have their own culture before the British, Portuguese or French came? No!
But I find it funny when people defend cultural practices in order to differ from others because in this way they make other cultures their yardstick.

That was a 100 years ago and more. European Empires considered Africans barbaric. This mentality has changed. And they did not only try to conquer Africans but other European nations as well.

And yet millions of Africans embrace this religion today. If you want to differ from the West so much, why not return to African traditions all together?

Are you even aware that this is the how it's done in the West too MOST OF THE TIME?
As soon as children are born, it's women who stay at home with their babies in more than 90% of all families across Europe.

5minsmadness:

Yes she did!
She's a progressive woman
What, u think she only started behaving like this after she was ferried to the west? Coco's been a feminist from time immemorial

SalomonKane:
Understood.

Yes. It's a pity that a people who enslaved their fellow man, will openly come out and call the same people they enslave 'barbarians'.

That's the irony of it all. To think a people will embrace a religion that is alien and used as a mean of subtle subjugation beats my imagination.

Truly, I don't religion to differ from the West, my thoughts and actions show that I'm very different as I don't conform to religious nonsense. I'm an African, as well as a Bini man. So I live my life according to how my conscience allow it, in accordance to my country. Simple.

The only thing I can tell you as regard this is "Civilization started from Africa"

Mindfulness:


Slavery is not a European invention. Slavery existed in Africa long before any Europeans arrived.
And today children in European schools of high quality teach their students to respect other cultures. There is even a fascination and glorification of purely indigenous people.

I am human in the first place and so is everyone else. I feel at home in many places and I have come to realize that the similarities that people of different origin share are more than their differences. I wish we would focus more on what unites us.

True!

SalomonKane:
Even when the Koboko method was still used by the Fulani's, i'm sure you know there were men who stood and took that 100 stroke of cane, and later claim their bride and tamed them making them the loyal house wife.

I tell you this, should Nigeria as a whole adopt this Koboko method, women like you will find yourself at the mercy of drop dead nincompoops, who will endure 100 stroke of the cane, so they have you and yours as wives for comfort. Then I'm sure you'll live happily ever after.

SalomonKane:
Of course. We know how the Egyptians enslaved the Israelites in the Bible. But the West gave slavery a whole knew meaning and definition. Not to talk of how they turned it into a million dollar venture.

Aye!. This all bother on acceptance and tolerance. In as much as I understand that i'm different from another man, I still know I'm similar to him, but still our differences complement our similarities.

5minsmadness:


[size=18pt]No. 2[/size]

Dheartless:

This one is truly sweet to be noted

SalomonKane:
So you're telling us your husband did not pay your bride price when he came asking for your hand in marriage?

I want to believe you stood firm and look your father in th eyes and tell him your husband won't pay a dime on your head, neither will he bring the traditional gifts ascribe when he declared his intent to marry you?

byvan03:

No need consoling yourself, women like me are never at anyone 's mercy. Certainly men like you will go for what they will tame, it's good to cut your coat according to your size .

5minsmadness:

Passive aggressive.

Mindfulness:


The Egyptian Empire was built with the blood of slaves so there is no justifying one evil with another.

It's not about acceptance and tolerance, it goes beyond that.

@bold
I like this thought.

5minsmadness:

954likes

byvan03:



No 2 really? you have no idea. I will walk out on all traditions and the ancestors can roll over in their graves for all I care. You only consider your loved ones and sacrifice just a bit of yourself not to hurt them.

5minsmadness:


What's taradiddle

SalomonKane:
No doubt. Evil is evil (to a lesser mind) but i'll have you know evil is not evil as there are different shades of evil.

I bet you'll liken a man who murder another man to a man who murder an entire family, talkless a whole tribe or community. Isn't that why our Justice system have different punitive measure for different crime? After all, they can say "crime is crime" and let a rapist serve 25 years to life, with a pick pocket.

Really? Care to shed a lil light?

It's all good.

Mindfulness:




And the funny thing is that any cultural practice MUST differ from any Western cultural practices, which makes Western cultural practices the yardstick after all.

What a paradox!

I want to see an American or a European say: "We have to do this and that so that we differ from Africans."

Mental slavery!


And the funniest thing of all is that Christianity was brought to these people by Westerners along with the gender roles and steeotypes which they are still clinging to.