13 Things Guys Think About Their Peni$.


1. Thank you for being there when I have idle
hands. Sometimes, messing around with our penis isn't even sexual. We just like doing it because
we're bored. It's like having a built-in pen to twirl


2. It's our best friend. We've known our penis our whole life. It's been there for us through thick
and thin, and we really bonded during puberty.
Most of us would rather lose an arm or a leg before
losing our penis.




3. HOW BIG IS OUR PENIS, REALLY? Every man has had at least one penis-related moment of self-
doubt. A genital crisis. Is our penis too small? Too
big? Too fat or thin? Does it curve too much to the
left or right? Do we have a great penis? Please tell
us. We need to know.



4. WHY DO YOU BETRAY ME? I'm still getting boners at in opportune times. Your penis is like that
friend who is generally pretty cool but then you
take him to a party, and he gets too drunk and gets
you kicked out.



5. You've got too much influence on my
brain. I need to think less about making you happy and more about doing things that don't involve you.
I would probably be a millionaire right now if I
spent less time masturbating and played the stock
market instead.

6. Oh, shit. I have two holes. There comes a time in every man's life when he stumbles upon the
fact that he has a hole for urine and one for semen.
His life is never the same after that.

7. Don't tell the balls, but I like you better. I mean, come on, they're alright, but they don't bring
as much to table.

8. You need to learn to deal in the heat, man. If a penis has one glaring weakness, it's hot, humid
weather. I don't think I need to tell you why.


9. Why is there so much hair? Once you combine that fact with the above point, it's really
unfair.



10. You are so full of mystery. It is incredible just how versatile and malleable you are. You can
be soft and hard, change size and shape. You are a
series of beautiful contradictions, penis.

11. I'm sorry I sit on you. There are few things worse than sitting on your own junk, especially if
you just let yourself free fall onto the seat hard, not
realizing your about to land on your own manhood.
I'm pretty sure this is where the phrase "hoisted by
his own petard" comes from (but maybe I'm wrong).





12. Please try your best not to touch the
toilet seat. This is absolutely terrible, especially if it's a public bathroom. Feeling the cold kiss of
porcelain while knowing that lots of other strange
joysticks probably pressed up against that same
spot sparks a deep fear in a man's heart. A primal
fear, like hearing the howl of a nearby wolf.



13. Why do you insist on getting tangled up in
my boxers? This is just not good for anyone. Please stay put, instead of twisting yourself in there
like a cat getting stuck in yarn.

Disgusting

Hmmm.

Hadez:
Disgusting

I hate what u just wrote.... Pls change it!

Mtcheeewwww

.....

pennis story but why not viginal story

Hadez:
Disgusting

I think u like it big

ok

Lol. Nice write up.

Haha val in the air

Aaahh