it advisable to continue staying in a marriage where there is no love because wife disrespected me and my parents and if i am too part with her how do i do it that she wont be hurt too much because the love is no longer there and I pity her.

Wa alaikumn Salam Yah Ikhwani fi deen.

Like I always tell people, higher percent of problems we face as human being is what we might have seen but we ignore it or at times being beclouded all the name of love. I'm double sure your wife don't just change over night. Well, I advise you discuss this with your IMAM and let him help you out in accordance with Shuruti-l-Islam.

Allah Alam.

Pls give us full details, what exactly did she do? No more love you say? Did the love just disappeared overnight?

Although if you are not comfortable giving us full details, then the only thing I'll advice you to do is THREATEN HER WITH 2ND MARRIAGE OR DIVORCE and see the reaction maybe this injection will open her mind to realities of life and she will mend her ways.

What did she do that was disrespectful? Why is the love no longer there? Do you mean the love in no longer there from your side or her side? or both ways? Have you tried talking to her?

Try talk to her in d mid night, if it doesn't work try yr imam (if he is a decent &God fearing) if no changes call onto her parents

DIVORCE HER, NEVER LOVE COS OF PITY.

just dont quote me, yep am thunda

op, I hope you are not staying in the same house/place as your parents. if yes, look for an alternative, because there is no way conflict can be avoided. 2. try and be sincere, are your parents blameless in this issue? 3. if you feel pity now, that means there's still a trace of love. for the sake of your children, or child, give her a second chance. call her, have a heart to heart talk, involve her parents, or close relatives. make her apologize to your parents. Hidina siratal mustakim. don't forget prayer

thundabot:
DIVORCE HER, NEVER LOVE COS OF PITY.

just dont quote me, yep am thunda

sister, thunder ke? take it easy o. and you asked to be followed on ...where?

Happy Muslim couples strive to be the comfort of each other’s eyes. They seek to be the answer to the dua that Allah has taught us to make @Op Please do!! And secondly, Seek counseling, preferably from a Muslim counselor May Allah Guide us (Amin)

Are you sure you didn't do anything to her first? Or maybe you are just the type that take offence at every little thing ? Or maybe you asked for too much and she wasn't willing to give and now you are angry

You can't come here to tell us a one-sided story and expect us to feel bad for you. It is left for you to call on her family, yours and your Imam to fix your problems.

So little information.
Dear brother please read the holy Quran on the rights of a wife. Manage your home according to this and you will thrive.

Let your wife read on the rights of a husband. Go for counselling with good Muslims and imam.


Many of us know our rights by heart but do not know the rights you owe others.


Even A smile is charity because when you smile the work smiles back at you.

What did you do to her that made her change?

Invite trusted members from both sides of the family and try to work things out.

Bear sabr.

Dullahi:
What did you do to her that made her change?

Invite trusted members from both sides of the family and try to work things out.

Bear sabr.

The two families(parents/siblings) are at loggerhead.

Goroz:
Beat her

Quran

Quran (4:34) - "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great." Contemporary translations sometimes water down the word 'beat', but it is the same one used in verse 8:12 and clearly means 'to strike'.

Quran (38:44) - "And take in your hand a green branch and beat her with it, and do not break your oath..." Allah telling Job to beat his wife (Tafsir).

Misinterpreting verses to demonize another person is not healthy at all...i got one advise for you;

BE ENLIGHTENED

abuashe:
The two families(parents/siblings) are at loggerhead.

So sorry to hear. Divorce should only be the last resort. I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with wife because you're in this together. Keep issues with your marriage out of the public eye.

abuashe:
The two families(parents/siblings) are at loggerhead.

Trust me, you do not have a marriage

Once the parents/family are not intrested in a union

That union is as good as dead

.

The earlier the better

lexiconkabir:


Misinterpreting verses to demonize another person is not healthy at all...i got one advise for you;

BE ENLIGHTENED

You do not need to advise him

Since he knows what he‘s up to

Only looking for attention/trouble

Once you ignore him & he‘s not getting what he wants

He‘ll leave the thread and go look for another prey

abuashe:
it advisable to continue staying in a marriage where there is no love because wife disrespected me and my parents and if i am too part with her how do i do it that she wont be hurt too much because the love is no longer there and I pity her.

What attracted you to her before you married her?
Why do you pity someone you claimed disrespects you and your parents?
Tell us the truth who is the new lady you are blindly in love with?
Just tell us the whole truth, remember the devil you know is ..

Mttcheew.

Salam, although in yoruba proverbs. ."agbo ejo enikan da,agba osika ni".... maybe you're even at fault,or you added to the issues...or you're both at fault.... but let me just play along and just talk based on your post.

Do you know that there's nothing like "irreconcilable difference" IMHO. ... If both parties are willing to compromise and make it work...like sincerely.
The moment you think it's the responsibility of the woman or man only to make it work...then you're brewing discontent already.

Back to the matter,I deduced that "maybe" the relationship between you both is influenced by your families. ..and trust me that can only end in a disaster. You have to build your home. ,.both of you... decide what's best for you and (your kids).... set the rules,boundaries and keep to it together and the relationship will thrive.
Love is transient, and subjective, and you need to learn to love...you can. You build your own world.....you both need to show yourselves love and respect. .

Leave your extended families out of it unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary. Talk to her,sit down and decide how you both want it to work out and stick to it, please I know it's not easy as a man to compromise but try to. If that doesn't work, withdraw from her deliberately and see if she feels the effects and ask what she did wrong.... (that's a good sign) so use that avenue to communicate with her again.... If this doesn't work.... One of you is SELFISH and INSINCERE! And that will not work!

Marriage is a beautiful thing, it's like a new bud that has just 2 or 3 leaves, you need to care for it,keep predators aways and nuture it.

If these doesn't work, then you can consider divorcing her,be very compassionate in doing that give her her rights,belongings and peacefully separate from her. ... no one knows tomorrow.

May Allah rectify your affairs and grant you goodness! Amin

I hope this helps!

greetings:
Salam, although in yoruba proverbs. ."agbo ejo enikan da,agba osika ni".... maybe you're even at fault,or you added to the issues...or you're both at fault.... but let me just play along and just talk based on your post.

Do you know that there's nothing like "irreconcilable difference" IMHO. ... If both parties are willing to compromise and make it work...like sincerely.
The moment you think it's the responsibility of the woman or man only to make it work...then you're brewing discontent already.

Back to the matter,I deduced that "maybe" the relationship between you both is influenced by your families. ..and trust me that can only end in a disaster. You have to build your home. ,.both of you... decide what's best for you and (your kids).... set the rules,boundaries and keep to it together and the relationship will thrive.
Love is transient, and subjective, and you need to learn to love...you can. You build your own world.....you both need to show yourselves love and respect. .

Leave your extended families out of it unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary. Talk to her,sit down and decide how you both want it to work out and stick to it, please I know it's not easy as a man to compromise but try to. If that doesn't work, withdraw from her deliberately and see if she feels the effects and ask what she did wrong.... (that's a good sign) so use that avenue to communicate with her again.... If this doesn't work.... One of you is SELFISH and INSINCERE! And that will not work!

Marriage is a beautiful thing, it's like a new bud that has just 2 or 3 leaves, you need to care for it,keep predators aways and nuture it.

If these doesn't work, then you can consider divorcing her,be very compassionate in doing that give her her rights,belongingso and peacefully. ... no one knows tomorrow.

May Allah rectify your affairs and grant you goodness! Amin

I hope this helps!

May Allah bless you and grant you goodness!!
Well said!

Assalamu alykum.
As a Muslim and with my little understanding, there are steps the husband must take before a divorce- which mostly is not advisable except very very necessary. However, for you to get to a stage where there is just pity for her then you need to fast and pray to Allah for guidance.
Now, how did things get to this level? If you are to blame for anything, retrace your steps. A critical mistake we make as Muslims is not being able to identify our individual and collective roles. Mothers inclusive. Don't get me wrong! Our mothers are everything, so also is the wife to her children and husband to a wife and vice versa. We must seek for knowledge to separate these things.
If our mothers are at fault on an issue, we should kindly and privately correct them, and so the wife. We commit the first offense when we take sides.
We also believe that our mothers can NEVER be wrong! Haba, they are humans fa. It will take a while for the two women/families to fully accept themselves except they are really sound Islamically. Now the husband has to be more sound and fair to deal with such issues
Most families have lived closely for decades. Do you think it is easy to bring in a stranger with a different upbringing and values? Be it the man or the woman, your strength and belief in yourselves, the marriage, family values, acceptance and the love you once shared will be tested and you may only pass if we all understand our individual and collective roles.
Please, don't be too blinded by the love you have for your extended family members to now forget your roles to your wife and vice versa. It only take a brave Muslim and a strong man to take responsibilities If you are wrong.
You must now call your wife and have a heart to heart talk with her. You should know her - weaknesses, strengths, likes and dislikes, level of Islamic knowledge, level of commitment to the marriage, family values and so on to know how to bring her to your side. Don't be selfish please.
Most importantly, pray and fast together. Let her hear you pray for all those beautiful things you want from Allah and let her do the same.
And finally, you are the man, make it work. All the best.
Assalamu alykum.

How long are you married. Please understand that most new couples find it hard to get along easily which gets better with time. You have to learn to sacrifice more to appreciate each other. Marriage is half of your faith and i can say it is mostly about compassion and sacrifice.

Patience doesn't enter a matter except that it beautifies it.

greetings:
Salam, although in yoruba proverbs. ."agbo ejo enikan da,agba osika ni".... maybe you're even at fault,or you added to the issues...or you're both at fault.... but let me just play along and just talk based on your post.

Do you know that there's nothing like "irreconcilable difference" IMHO. ... If both parties are willing to compromise and make it work...like sincerely.
The moment you think it's the responsibility of the woman or man only to make it work...then you're brewing discontent already.

Back to the matter,I deduced that "maybe" the relationship between you both is influenced by your families. ..and trust me that can only end in a disaster. You have to build your home. ,.both of you... decide what's best for you and (your kids).... set the rules,boundaries and keep to it together and the relationship will thrive.
Love is transient, and subjective, and you need to learn to love...you can. You build your own world.....you both need to show yourselves love and respect. .

Leave your extended families out of it unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary. Talk to her,sit down and decide how you both want it to work out and stick to it, please I know it's not easy as a man to compromise but try to. If that doesn't work, withdraw from her deliberately and see if she feels the effects and ask what she did wrong.... (that's a good sign) so use that avenue to communicate with her again.... If this doesn't work.... One of you is SELFISH and INSINCERE! And that will not work!

Marriage is a beautiful thing, it's like a new bud that has just 2 or 3 leaves, you need to care for it,keep predators aways and nuture it.

If these doesn't work, then you can consider divorcing her,be very compassionate in doing that give her her rights,belongings and peacefully separate from her. ... no one knows tomorrow.

May Allah rectify your affairs and grant you goodness! Amin

I hope this helps!

jazakallahu khayran for this advice.

abuashe:
jazakallahu khayran for this advice.

Waa yakum!

Contact17:


May Allah bless you and grant you goodness!!
Well said!

Amin fa! Thank you sis.

Assalamu alaikum
Your story is not complete..BT my candid advice is for you to be prayerful..firstly have a heart to heart talk..Your family might be at fault.get to know the problem and a solution to it..
May Allah bring peace to your home..May Allah restore the bond of love you shared with your wife.

Assalamu Alaikum warahmatullah... @OP, Let me respond by telling u dat wat u're experiencing is a dark cloud of ''Shaitan'' dat spells almst every marriage dat lacks Allah's presence. Wit Allah, all d dark cloud will pass. U don't sound like a praying person. Wit dat attribute absence in ur life, u're in a state of Tabula Rasa... A state of void & emptiness...

I'll love to advice you,but i realy get it difficult to picture the problem yet... Plz we need the full gist in order to advice you accordingly!