Rossy99:
An undergraduate of polytechnic staying with us is growing wings.he doesn't help in domestic chores when hubby is away,he does when hubby is around,he wait for u to tell him wat to do b4 he does it nd he is really making me angry which i hate to do.wen i report him to hubby,he wont do anytin or even chastise him instead he complain wenever i give him food dt his food is too small.am not a bad type to giv him little food cos i have conscience nd it disturb me wen i do bad but he is a glutton dt only eat nd sleep without duin anytin even to d plates he use to eat.wat do i do

CrazyQuinn:
cool your temper for how long is he staying?

Rossy99:
he has bin staying for 1 nd half yr nw nd for how long,i dnt knw

jhydebaba:
So after reporting to your hubby, he did nothing. You now reported to nairaland make we beat am abi You must be kidding me.

The time you are wasting here is enough for you to do your chores. Abeg! Enter kitchen go wash your plate.


You called him a glutton, make he no eat again Abeg, free the guy joor. Abi your husband dey complain say he no fit drop money again.


I know if the boy were to be from your family, you won't be here.

CrazyQuinn:
wow, the guy has no right to stay for that long what happened to privacy? Is he leaving soon? If not, complain to your husband and tell him your mind, if he doesn't listen, keep complaining to your husband until he tell the guy to leave. It's not right

donbenedict:
First of all, he is not a full time house help. So you don't expect him to do all the chores alone at home.

You are a woman and you too should participate in the chores as well. He can decide not to eat your food. Because you are feeding him doesn't mean he must turn into ur househelp.


Dats one thing u modern wives just use to put up a fight with relatives.



Now since your husband isn't doing anythn abt it, u should not take laws into your hands.


U should giv him food, and tell him there and then he should wash his plates after eating.


If you are a full time house wife, den u shouldn't balance in d house an expect him to do all ur bidding, just as u pick up a broom and start sweeping the palour, guilty conscience will not allow him also to relax when he sees u doing it, he too will feel somehow and join u as well. That is how to solve such problems.




If I should ask, is he related to your husband?


Everythn shouldn't be by force. There are many ways to make someone do ur bidding

Alexgeneration:
. He has no right abi?Cos he is not from her side of the family abi? If the guy is related to her,will she be here to complain? All these modern wives that can't accommodate their inlaws.

jhydebaba:
So after reporting to your hubby, he did nothing. You now reported to nairaland make we beat am abi You must be kidding me.

The time you are wasting here is enough for you to do your chores. Abeg! Enter kitchen go wash your plate.


You called him a glutton, make he no eat again Abeg, free the guy joor. Abi your husband dey complain say he no fit drop money again.


I know if the boy were to be from your family, you won't be here.

fellis:
Is the boy an id!ot?

How can a jobless person be complaining about the food he is given while living under another persons roof and not even doing anything to assist in the house, my God people like that irritate me. What does he think he is? A king that came to your house to be pampered? At least he should help with something to show you and your husband gratitude for taking care of him instead of just sitting around from morning till evening asking for more food.

What a lousy human being.

OP next time you and he and your husband eat on the same table or in the same room make sure you pile his plate of food very high to like twice or three times the amount you give your husband, if your husband says its too much tell him politely the boy is always complaining that you don't give him enough food so you want to make sure you serve him enough henceforth.

Do it like four times in the presence of your husband and unless he is a millionaire that has money to throw away he will call the boy and caution him on his eating habits.

Ghost21:
Just do all you can, try not to make him understand that you are pissed off over his behaviour! Sometimes people do things like that on purpose, just ignore him.

Rossy99:
i av neva leave my chores for him to do,d only chores i expect him to do is sweep d parlour whr he sleep,wash dishes or fetch water which he hardly does.u said if i sweep he wud feel guilty conscience,this one doesn't,he wud lift his leg for me to sweep nd adjust well,wen i was preg,he wud b watching me fetch water nd d next day he wud use d water to bath not until i warn him lik 3tym b4 he stop using water i fetch to bath

fellis:
Is the boy an id!ot?

How can a jobless person be complaining about the food he is given while living under another persons roof and not even doing anything to assist in the house, my God people like that irritate me. What does he think he is? A king that came to your house to be pampered? At least he should help with something to show you and your husband gratitude for taking care of him instead of just sitting around from morning till evening asking for more food.

What a lousy human being.

OP next time you and he and your husband eat on the same table or in the same room make sure you pile his plate of food very high to like twice or three times the amount you give your husband, if your husband says its too much tell him politely the boy is always complaining that you don't give him enough food so you want to make sure you serve him enough henceforth.

Do it like four times in the presence of your husband and unless he is a millionaire that has money to throw away he will call the boy and caution him on his eating habits.

CrazyQuinn:
how can you allow your in law to stay with you for a year? There will be no privacy and he will be involved into their private affairs. Would you like your in-law to be involved with you and your wife's private affairs. So what's the point of getting married then

CrazyQuinn:
how can you allow your in law to stay with you for a year? There will be no privacy and he will be involved into their private affairs. Would you like your in-law to be involved with you and your wife's private affairs. So what's the point of getting married then

Rossy99:
This is d reason am here,av run out of ideas to deal wit him,av try ds ur idea,my husband face me nd ask to reduce d food only for him to support him after a while again.thr was a tym i even allow him dish food frm d pot by himself

Rossy99:
He is not even an inlaw or relative,hubby nd his father attend dsame church back den

Alexgeneration:
. How does staying with one's in-law connotes "involve into their private affairs? From the OP's complain,the guy is not interfering in their private life.Rather, all I can deduce from her is that she wants to turn the guy to a househelp just because he is "eating her food" and "staying in her house".Will she make such complains if the guy is from her side of the family?

CrazyQuinn:
wow, the guy has no right to stay for that long what happened to privacy? Is he leaving soon? If not, complain to your husband and tell him your mind, if he doesn't listen, keep complaining to your husband until he tell the guy to leave. It's not right

Yomieluv:
Without being told, the guy in question Is related to the hubby.. Woman, and unnecessary complain..

Rossy99:
He is not even an inlaw or relative,hubby nd his father attend dsame church back den

Yomieluv:
Without being told, the guy in question Is related to the hubby.. Woman, and unnecessary complain..

CrazyQuinn:
can you imagine the rubbish if I were you I would make his life miserable until he leaves

greatgod2012:





ko le to yen!
This life is very simple!
And the world is a global village.

He needs your help now doesn't mean you can't need his help in the future.

It may even be your children that he will render help to in the nearest future.

We shouldn't use today to destroy our tomorrow.

Instead of making life miserable to him, speak out your mind to him, ask him if he too can accept what he's doing to you from another person. Not with screaming or cursing or throwing tantrums but maturely and patiently.


Remember, nobody is totally bad!

greatgod2012:
Did your husband inform you before accommodating the guy

If yes, did you approve it

If yes, for how long is he staying

When he came around, were you first friendly with him and him with you


What's likely the age difference between you too



Answering these questions will give more insight to how you can handle his issue.



Accommodating someone shouldn't be a problem, but such a fellow shouldn't turn himself to burdens to me.


Well, personally, I don't like dying in silence, I speak out my mind, especially to the person directly involved, not with raising of voice or screaming but maturely and patiently.