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My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Nobody: 11:33am On Sep 12, 2016
You break my heart: if he hadn't done this to you, someone else would have. Maybe your boyfriend...
You've spoilt him silly and it's going to take a while to undo it!
Never give anything to him without him earning it. He has to do something to be worthy of having 10 naira! Secondly, you shouldn't have bailed him yet. You should have allowed him to serve his time and get rehabilitated in the process buying you time to recover, when he comes out, he'll have a broader pespective to life! No need crying over spilled me sha...

Henceforth, make him work for everything even food and shelter: make him shop, cook, wash your car, sanitize the house and other stuff of his choice, just lay the cards before him to make his pick, then reward him afterwards. As he grows in it, you increase the reward! As he gets deeper into it, he'd known the value of cash, how to eran and spend it!
Also, commit cash to him or send him on errand and make him account for it...
This is your chance to make him a better man before he turns around to be naughty to the point where he can turn around and kidnap your for ransom!
Have a lot to say but my fingers ache!
Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by 2saints: 12:12pm On Sep 12, 2016
End time Brother

1 Like

Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Nobody: 12:38pm On Sep 12, 2016
That's what u get for pampering a man... He needs tough love to set him straight. I detest ungrateful self centered siblings.. Op please you only one life to live, don't allow any devil incarnate in d guise of sibling run your parade for you. Seems you are not yet married self.

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Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Flawlessangel(m): 1:30pm On Sep 12, 2016
robedu:
Thanks for your response, my dad is late, he's been late since i was barely 2 years old, my mom an old woman in the village, she is hypertensive and has issues with bad reports, she will just faint or become sick. have told him this over and over again, even when we were buying the photography stuffs, i said it over and over again, he even came with his friends to beg that once this is done he will be able to stand on his own, after that it was excuse that i keep receiving, i do not know why God will allow me to be stress this way for the life of me, i work hard, too hard for my age to make a living but this people kept on pressing me down like a wild force embarassed embarassed embarassed :- my mates in the office are far better than me, they live a worthy life but here i am always spending money like i uproot them from the farm becaues of family[

i just wanna say, you are such a lovely, hardworking and responsible lady. The world needs more people like you.

You said you graduated at 22, so how old are u now?
Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by nomanicole(f): 2:13pm On Sep 12, 2016
wow I thought I was the only one with sibling issues.. I learnt a big lesson this year and I have promised myself that I will always make myself priority and no. more rubbish in the name of helping ungrateful siblings who feel entitled to your sweat and even try to claim ur property while you are alive. wow! na so we plenty?

1 Like

Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Nobody: 2:57pm On Sep 12, 2016
robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

Gor your own mental health safety and for your cardiovascular health, depart from that grown over grown baby that is your brother before he pulls you down while he's sinking
Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by christphina(f): 2:58pm On Sep 12, 2016
[quote author=taryour post=49208511]SPEECHLESS. what I have in mind to tell you is harsh so make I just sit down dey look before them nairalander label me wicked.


but babe you try oo wahalai. I really commend you. God is your strength. that your elder brother ehen....

Label u wicked ke... me, can't go extra mile to displease myself 4 such an unserious brother.. In this situation, I will simply take my car back, or leave it 4 him nd get another cos obviously in no distant tym, he won't b able 4 afford d maintenance... then, he either leaves my house, or I pack nd leave him... then wen d rent expires, make he call my spirit... some pple will ve honey put right into their mouth, nd will take it 4 granted... nd to think dat he is even a guy nd soon 2 b some1's hubby nd father.. abeg, he doesn't deserve d pampering
Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by LadyGeorge(f): 3:07pm On Sep 12, 2016
Collect your car from him and tell him to go get a life cos if u ask me he doesn't have one

You supported him through school and now u are still supporting him after school ask your self how long will it continue

He wanted the car for weekends from weekends he is now using it daily

How long will it continue?

1 Like

Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by jake2much(m): 7:58pm On Sep 12, 2016
nma24:
That's what u get for pampering a man... He needs tough love to set him straight. I detest ungrateful self centered siblings.. Op please you only one life to live, don't allow any devil incarnate in d guise of sibling run your parade for you. Seems you are not yet married self.
hi
Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Medunah: 10:01pm On Sep 12, 2016
scachy:
Honestly I feel ur pain cos he's not just irresponsible, but also an ingrate. What u would have done from d onset would v been to cut down n get him a small Uber spec for his transportation biz knowing how wayward and irresponsible he's from d photography biz u established for him, and get a personal car for ur self to avoid these drama, if u add little money on d one u planned to buy Lexus 350 u ll get 2 nice cars, instead sharing urs with him. But anyway it's not yet late, I wouldn't advise u to release the car to him anymore cos he's proven to be irresponsible and ungrateful. Let him job hunt or stay idle for a while so that he ll understand that life is hard and money is hard to come by. Damn big brother thing.or better still get him a small Uber spec for his transport biz, if he like let him manage it well or drink himself to stupor with every dime he makes from it. Some people are so mischievous in nature.
Get him which yeye small uber spec?? Abeg, she has tried, let the nigga go fend for himself......she should sell that car after she is done repairing it, keep the money nd get another car for herself when she gets married.

Stup!d old f00l, thats what he is!! I think she is partially at fault anyways

3 Likes

Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by adecares(f): 10:51pm On Sep 12, 2016
Its becos u give him everything he ask for dats y he is behaving DAT way.
Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Qualer: 5:29am On Sep 13, 2016
nomanicole:
wow I thought I was the only one with sibling issues.. I learnt a big lesson this year and I have promised myself that I will always make myself priority and no. more rubbish in the name of helping ungrateful siblings who feel entitled to your sweat and even try to claim ur property while you are alive. wow! na so we plenty?


yes! na so we plenty! cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Qualer: 5:42am On Sep 13, 2016
Stoical:
I am sorry for the "fictitious" lady. I hope not to sound so deviating but I feel the story has a bit of contradiction earlier, which made me discontinue reading the rest...

My hardworking lady in the post once said, she no longer had any savings due to her brother's misbehaviour and later in another rejoinder, that she is saving money for her upcoming wedding/supporting her fiance to rent their house and also to help fix her parent's house...

I found it difficult to marry these two statements...just saying/thinking outta the box.

1 Like

Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Stoical: 10:08am On Sep 13, 2016
[quote author=Qualer post=49311121][/quote]
thanks and take a walk
Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Nobody: 6:51pm On Sep 13, 2016
jake2much:
hi
Hi
Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by jake2much(m): 8:47pm On Sep 13, 2016
nma24:
Hi
how are we today?
Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Nobody: 8:59pm On Sep 13, 2016
jake2much:
how are we today?
Fine.
Re: My brother is driving me nut - How Should I Handle This Family Issue? by Gbengageorge: 4:17am On Feb 02, 2017
I have to be blunt here,
I think the guy added wickedness to the stupidity that is worrying him, if he can not help his blood sister, why are you helping him. It is when brother and sister help themselves that the family will progress as a whole no matter the shortcoming.

Use your head and talk sense into him, if he does not change, sell off those camera equipment to recover your money, make him to sign a written agreement which he will back up with his certificate, or else you will not give him the car again. Let him realize that you are working for that money and it should be spent wisely. He sees that you have a lot of money and thinks it must be wasted.

If he wants to be the black sheep let him use his money and let him see how easy it is to make money.



robedu:
Honestly i was telling someone and they told me he might be under spiritual attack, i dont believe he is though, he is simply being careless, when the car had the accident, i had register the car for a comprehensive insurance with excess buy back, meaning insurance will repair the car or refund all the repair cost, okay i ask my brother to bring money so that we can repair the car and i will pay him back once insurance refund us but he said he has no money that only 80,000 remaining with him, how can 80,000 be remaining when in the uber account he has received over 700,000 naira, he doesnt buy anything in the house and that is inclusive of the table water we drink in the house, i buy food stuff, pay for all bills, so where did all the money go, my junior sister is still serving when Buhari didnt pay their Alawee she purposely refused to call me but called him to send money for her to feed, he refused when my sister was almost fainting, she put a call thru to me that she is empty and has been begging him to send at least 5k to her to feed till govt pays but he refused, i was so shock that he couldnt even afford to bail out his little sister with 5k, i had to send the money to my little sister, he hasnt given anyone in the family any money that we know of, where did all 700,000 go. my other brother which i also sponsor his education has warned that i do not spend a peny on him anymore, i wish he can change and also be like every other boy husstling in the street

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