nameerfhtennek:

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight.

Really Or she wanted to play as a way of demanding your attention and saying she wasn't angry because you didn't follow her for shopping. But you made her lose it.

Miladi:
OP

I'm so sorry for you. However, having dissected your story, I stand bold to say that your prejudice contributed to the ensued fracas.

Iefosa:
This issue is a minor one, but can really mature to stage of causing serious damages:

You're a married man, bros you don't ignore a woman's want or should I say feeling, no matter how silly it might be, just give her the attention, then you will enjoy and do whatever you do in peace. Assuming you went shopping with her, she for even cook better food give you ontop that fifa self. Follow dey shout Goal even when computer score you .

See bros, just go back to her, apologise, let her know that you're sorry for not going shopping with her, that it was not good of you, that nothing can come between you two not even that game self, let her know you paid deaf ear to her feelings, but you have realised now, you're very sorry, it wouldn't happen again. You go see she go just bust cry, then you kiss her, then yanch am, after everything. Tell her say that spit wey she spit for your face you dey forbid am, make she nor ever try am again, she will promise and promise, she wouldn't do it again really.

Biko don't send her home oh, Nigeria this time ehn NA wrong timing, sort things out with your wife brother, e nor easy.

femlex:
I have married for six years now, and just early this week myself and my wife were thinking about our first two years of marriage, hardly will a weekend pass without us having a quarrel, mostly she complains I do not assist her in the house especially in the weekends when I felt too that I should be resting.

Today we hardly quarrel, and she does almost all house chores.

In marriage, you have the forming, storming, norming, performing stage like in a team. At the first to third year, you are majorly part of the storming process and this is likely the things you come across.

Sending her back to Nigeria is not an option at all, how many will you send home?

For you to maintain your cool, it shows a lot of maturity and love from your side, but you self get fault for this matter. The way you are mentioning FIFA in your message shows you give the lady less attention than she expect. This could be part of what is burning her.

Be the man that you are, brace yourself, this will not be last.

Get inside, talk to her, make love to her, and manage this, and next that may be next week until you reach the norming stage.
God bless you.

Miladi:
OP

I'm so sorry for you. However, having dissected your story, I stand bold to say that your prejudice contributed to the ensued fracas.

VolTOxic:
Most men would have given her a beating, but you kept your cool. For that I respect and admire you. Now to the point, Yes. Please send her away. That woman hates you!

How can your own wife say that horrible thing and spat to you face?! She hates you. She have crossed the line.
You said your marriage is a curse. You are not happy at all. Neither is she. You are not making a mistake. Do it.

You are a true gentleman. You deserve better. You'll find someone to heal your wounds. Don't even waste your time for any shìt counselling. She is not the woman you fell for. That woman is gone the moment she spat. Forever.

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

theorist:
Many people missed the details of what happened and gave judgement based on the topic and the concluding part of you story.

nameerfhtennek I don't want to imagine the type of a lady your wife is or how you play and have fun, but I think you missed some details in her actions because you were angry (used to her habits), and the game was more important. What if she wanted your attention?

Let me draw your attention to this part



Bro, I'm not a feminist, I am also a gamer. I think you missed your opportunity to WOW her, apologize, explain, make her feel more important than your game. You missed an opportunity to turn her anger into love and respect and have a nice time yesterday night.

What if she has been trying to change and she is too proud shy to say sorry, or don't know how to start? That "fight" turned into a play/love section would have gone a long way to help your darling wife. Just remember when you started, how you laid down your ego to please your "girlfriend".

From your story, you might be the reason your wife hasn't changed.

Just listen to Nairalanders and let them fuel your ego, and gradually break your lovely home.

Peace!!!

sllay:


Your female relatives would be beaten - including your daughters when you have them - by the men they bond with. This is no curse, it's a foretelling.


If you can't recreate or reignite the fire in your relationship, let the woman go or walk away. Don't be a monster.

soberdrunk:
Bros 'NA MAN YOU BE"!! Chai u deserve 4 bottles of cold gulder!!! See Maturity!! 3 gbosa for you!! Just continue being patient!!!

HornyTiwa:

Another married man with experience

Op take note o,don't allow nairaland lions who are ordinary cats real life, destroy your marriage.

theorist:


I totally agree wit you....

Many people missed the details of what happened and gave judgement based on the topic and the concluding part of you story.

nameerfhtennek I don't want to imagine the type of a lady your wife is or how you play and have fun, but I think you missed some details in her actions because you were angry (used to her habits), and the game was more important. What if she wanted your attention?

Let me draw your attention to this part

nameerfhtennek:

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight.

Really Or she wanted to play as a way of demanding your attention and saying she wasn't angry because you didn't follow her for shopping. But you made her lose it.

Bro, I'm not a feminist, I am also a gamer. I think you missed your opportunity to WOW her, apologize, explain, make her feel more important than your game. You missed an opportunity to turn her anger into love and respect and have a nice time yesterday night.

What if she has been trying to change and she is too proud shy to say sorry, or don't know how to start? That "fight" turned into a play/love section would have gone a long way to help your darling wife. Just remember when you started, how you laid down your ego to please your "girlfriend".

From your story, you might be the reason your wife hasn't changed.

Just listen to Nairalanders and let them fuel your ego, and gradually break your lovely home.

Peace!!!

chuksbogus2001:
I don't know how Saudi deals men beating women .let me tell u when we were small my mum used to be very arrogant and rude to my dad cos he is a quiet man not until my mums mother I mean her own mum told my dad to beat her .After my dad gave her a better beating peace ,love respect came to our house since 1984 till now my mum has never raise her voice against my dad . Am not advocating women battery but a times small spanking does the magic

theorist:
Many people missed the details of what happened and gave judgement based on the topic and the concluding part of you story.

nameerfhtennek I don't want to imagine the type of a lady your wife is or how you play and have fun, but I think you missed some details in her actions because you were angry (used to her habits), and the game was more important. What if she wanted your attention?

Let me draw your attention to this part



Bro, I'm not a feminist, I am also a gamer. I think you missed your opportunity to WOW her, apologize, explain, make her feel more important than your game. You missed an opportunity to turn her anger into love and respect and have a nice time yesterday night.

What if she has been trying to change and she is too proud shy to say sorry, or don't know how to start? That "fight" turned into a play/love section would have gone a long way to help your darling wife. Just remember when you started, how you laid down your ego to please your "girlfriend".

From your story, you might be the reason your wife hasn't changed.

Just listen to Nairalanders and let them fuel your ego, and gradually break your lovely home.

Peace!!!

nsogbuMod:
lol bouy/thot why you getting all burthurt I didn't beat ya siblings gtfoh here with that crying ass.. Who hurt you I didn't

Miladi:



You captured my thought. I love smart people. Redcapchief read and re-read this contributor's post.

So, a woman is lonely and desires her husband's attention. . . she then seizes his property and spits on him
Hiding things in panties is not an indication that a woman wants you to 'touch' her.
If she wanted him to 'touch' her, red wine and lingerie are what she needs; not spitting and fighting

bigtt76, please don't confuse people here.

chuksbogus2001:
I don't know how Saudi deals men beating women .let me tell u when we were small my mum used to be very arrogant and rude to my dad cos he is a quiet man not until my mums mother I mean her own mum told my dad to beat her .After my dad gave her a better beating peace ,love respect came to our house since 1984 till now my mum has never raise her voice against my dad. Am not advocating women battery but a times small spanking does the magic

lakefist:


Matured comment so far!

I will urge you to understand your wife. I was in your shoes sometimes back, u know what i began to study her actions and know what she wanted. Most times when she is angry and started hiding things or even turning down the volume of my car radio while i am driving with her, i knew she wanted my attention. Its either i say sorry or i just give her the silent treatment.