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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Dickson Now Nigeria’s Most Prolific Gov. What He Knows Abt Multiple Baby-making (514 Views)
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Dickson Now Nigeria’s Most Prolific Gov. What He Knows Abt Multiple Baby-making by hellyjay: 8:33am On Sep 26, 2016 |
By Hellyjay S. First off, Bayelsa has got to thank their Gov. Seriake Dickson because he’s such a strong Ijaw man who at 50 still discharges 20 million little swimmers so motile that four recently charged through a 15-year-strong barrier inside First Lady Rachael who gave the state its first quads Sept. 23, just after the Supreme Court gave a verdict that Dickson is always a winner—at the poll and, you bet, in bed. Then, you also know Bayelsa is just about 1.8 million—something of the population of 10 streets in the Alimosho LGA of Lagos. But the oil-rich state got money aplenty. Its monthly allocations in 2013, for instance, added up to N173 billion, including the 13 percent oil boon, according to then Finance Minister Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala. For July alone this year, Bayelsa got N19.2 billion—in spite of recession. That tells you Bayelsa is Nigeria’s Brunei. And its sultan, Elder Dickson, can do no other than multiply. Don’t get your pants twisted, man: the 7-footer wasn’t trying for babies before he got these four on one swoosh. And Rachy, you know, is just one —or the latest—of the breeders in Deacon Dickson’s harem. And the four American kids are just the latest arrivals. According to SaharaReporters: Gov. Dickson has married several wives with numerous children but keeps Rachael as his official wife with him at Bayelsa Government House. The governor’s wife … stepped into Bayelsa Government House in February 2012 during her husband’s first tenure... Many more are coming, we promise you—because Bayelsa needs more people to spend its money. And because the juice is still raging in Dickson’s loins. And because only four of the 400 mature eggs left in Rachael’s egg baskets were just—you know—lucky to have hit it off with four of the millions of Dickson’s slimy head bangers. Get that? Oh, boy! How good is your biology? Or technology? Or biotechnology? Justspreadit knows a thing or two about high-tech bumps. You, too, now can see why only the US has the kind of hospital cool enough for the first lady to push when those tiny feet were coming. You think the US docs knew how the germs got in there? Oh, Smartie! But, frankly, everybody—Patience Jonathan, Niger Delta Avengers, Shell, Chevron—is happy for Dickson and Rachy. We, too. This is particularly good news for the family because this bundle of joy is coming after many years of praying and waiting upon the Lord. I thanks friends, family members and Bayelsans for their prayers and support and enjoin us all to continue to pray. Welcome, kids, to Bayelsa—an oil-rich state crawling with Ijaw militants and man-snatchers—a state polluted by big businesses and crazy Niger Delta Avengers. Believe us: Everybody, except Timi Frank, APC’s opposition loudmouth in Bayelsa, welcomes you to the world. And it’s just so-so the kids will soon know Uncle Frankie is a badass good at bugging their dad with the hardball politics of corruption allegations and transparency. Frank sure has got some talking points in the arrival of Bayelsa’s No. 1 quadruplets. So expect to hear him rap Gov. Dickson for being a patriot—by having the first lady go to the US for delivery. Which is normal. Most of Nigeria’s a flag-wavers have dual citizenship. Frank will also grunt about Bayelsa having to pick up the tab for the upkeep of those four African-Americans Dickson just added to his ban of a first family. But what ya think, peep, about Frank’s whining? Nothing much. The PDP governor doesn’t care a fig, does he? Certainly, not. Read more political satire on http://justspreadit.com/2016/09/26/1340/ |
Re: Dickson Now Nigeria’s Most Prolific Gov. What He Knows Abt Multiple Baby-making by Nobody: 10:13am On Sep 26, 2016 |
Timi Frank |
Re: Dickson Now Nigeria’s Most Prolific Gov. What He Knows Abt Multiple Baby-making by harlee(m): 3:15pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
He's name says it all...DICKson |
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