abimbawealth:

Moz22:
its been a while I got in here..hw ve u been?

purplerain:
Dear OP

Please I beg you, do not marry someone you feel absolutely nothing for. It rarely ends well.
I know what it is like to be married to someone you love and who adores you, it's AMAZING!.
Marriage is to be enjoyed, abeg dont get in to endure Biko.
There are a lot of miserable people out there married to the wrong person, please do not join that list.

Be patient, and have an open mind. Chances are it will happen when you least expect with someone you least expected as well.

In the meantime, abeg enjoy yourself and live your life...

Cheers

olagift:
Dear op,please don't be discouraged because there is nothing abnormal about what you are passing through. It is a normal phase of life that you will overcome with time, talking from experience. All what you need is a little patient and prayer. Somehow and anyhow you and your right man will locate yourselves. Never you bothered yourself with what is happening in the life of your counterparts because we have different life to live. Please, marriage is not the ultimate and all in all achievement in life. Dedicate your time to God,yourself, help and impact others. Enjoy the freedom of singlehood because life won't be the same after marriage. And don't get married to someone you don't have feeling for and the one you cannot cope or bear with his weaknesses. There is a special man out there that is meant for you. Once again use prayer and patience to wait for him.

Dyt:


Kilode?

sexymoma:
Op i must confess as a lady it possible for you not to get married to the person you love

buh the person who loves you....
let me tell you the truth here... person wey we dey always run after nor dey run after us ooo ooo...
leave that lil space for love to exist in your heart..
it happened to me too... i was busy running after lies, nd my boo been begging me for almost a year, i nor gree.

abimbawealth:
Hi you, been good...You?

seizethaBae:
if u guys no d level of my seriousness walah iu wont take it as a joke. shams040 im not here to look for patner/husband but to find experience pple to diagnose what could be wrong with me or if it happens to most ladies before they settle down. Experience pple pls respond plsssss

Nancy2016:


I agree with most of what you said except the part where you say "love is a fleeting sensation". That's not true. True love never dies. Why do you think more and more women are cheating? This is because a lot of them for whatever reasons got married to men they didn't love. Women are emotional beings and are always in search of love. If a woman has no love for her husband she is prone to temptation. A lot of times you hear women cheated with their exes. This is because they still are in love with these men. I will always advise women that if you have no feelings for a man, please do both of you a favour, end the relationship and let that man find his rightful partner.

Chubhie:

You must learn to accept personal responsibilities. This is your call. Stop your framing God up and attempting to use him as insurance just incase it goes south and you got heart broken.

You subconsciously set up walls as defence mechanisms and asking God to show you a miracle while one was starring at your face.

When you meet someone interesting,notice a point of attraction? That attraction/spark can be nurtured into roaring flames.

I tell you now that if a greater guy than your ex shows up you would still encounter same problems until you work on yourself to dismantle those walls you built.

You need to learn how to love and what the term love ultimately entails. I understand your subconscious mind in putting up those walls cos love is too deep and would leave you venerable once opened to the wrong person.

You seem to have a good heart which the subconscious is jealously protecting.

It's also okay to get heart broken so you learn and grow. Only you hold the keys to your missing paradise.

moski5:


Counsellor you spoke of attraction its pretty obvious that she's not attracted to that guy. would love to say more buh...

Chubhie:

A perfect guy and yet no atom of attraction? Please say more....

moski5:


lol there's nothing like a perfect guy, I've had ladies I wanted to 'do' things with, there's no attraction so no Progress

seizethaBae:
Thanks alot

olagift:
Dear op,please don't be discouraged because there is nothing abnormal about what you are passing through. It is a normal phase of life that you will overcome with time, talking from experience. All what you need is a little patient and prayer. Somehow and anyhow you and your right man will locate yourselves. Never you bothered yourself with what is happening in the life of your counterparts because we have different life to live. Please, marriage is not the ultimate and all in all achievement in life. Dedicate your time to God,yourself, help and impact others. Enjoy the freedom of singlehood because life won't be the same after marriage. And don't get married to someone you don't have feeling for and the one you cannot cope or bear with his weaknesses. There is a special man out there that is meant for you. Once again use prayer and patience to wait for him.

Pidggin:


Nice one. The same lady will beg for some free time after marriage

OP, exercise patience and make sure you use your gift of time positively while still single, you will marry a good man IJN

Eseries:
OP relax...... There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong about placing a standard for yourself too. There are things in life I expect providence to take care of....Marriage is one. My Sis who is much more older than you will be wedding next two months. There was a guy that was asking her hand in marriage she refused because he didn't meet up to her standard(has nothing to do with finances). I was a little bit concerned considering her age, I was expecting her to compromise, she did not. Now she has what she wants and am happy for her. OP relax, what you want will come your way! Cheers!


I PM/Dm you, Please reply ( The reason for contacting you has nothing to do with this topic or romance)

Chubhie:

This is not about you.Rather,the op with a perfect guy for three years in the relationship and no attraction?

Now,those ladies you always want to do things to,don't they have attractive Manchester United and arsenal? You are a carnal man and MUST be easily swayed with mundane things as girl on skirt and lipsticks.

moski5:


I think you are swapping love for lust, thrill n adventure ...

seizethaBae:
I dont even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is,hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. Im a 27yrs old lady,finished uni very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life,but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying im too choosy or not serious. Honestly,I AM NOT choosy.When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon,i even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner(i know you can meet ur patner anywhere,but na just to shut up pple wey don tink say i no dey serious),a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business',look for job so i can be leaving d house,and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection(honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it,the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. Im not desperate or something,i just want to reach out if im d only one having dis problem. There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him,i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can atleast like him(even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT,but it dint just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich,tall,handsome like most ladies dream man.He should just be neat,God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys).Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there,has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their patners and they are loved back equally. Married women pls im waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think im looking for a rich guy,believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs,but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head.So my problem is not even money.Im so sick and tired

missjo:

You have an ex who you say is PERFECT,still you could not love him.

My diagnosis is that you operate on a peculiar wavelength that isn't common, trust me I know what I'm saying. Every human has a wavelength they operate on. If you were to put on an eye apparatus that is capable of detecting frequencies and sending the visual to your eye,you will understand what I'm saying.

A lot of people operate on similar wavelengths that may have different frequencies,but the catch is that these frequencies can superimpose on each other and blend. Your case is that you have a totally different frequency as well as wavelength from most normal people. Yes you are not normal!

Don't get mad yet,that you're not normal is not bad,it just means you're part of the less than 5% of people in the entire planet who fall under this category. I've met one other guy like that on this forum,cant mention his moniker so he doesn't bite my head off but I follow him. These group of people actually find it hard picking someone to get married to because there is always a fault to be noticed no matter how PERFECT the person is.

I'm going to guess that you're an ambivert,i.e a combination of introvert and extrovert. Another guess is that u like to read anything and everything, and you find that most people do not really understand you even part of your own family. Another guess is that your close friends are very few,as in VERY few and you haven't made new friends in a while. Most of your friends are old friends.
I also guess that you're someone who can have sex with someone and not add emotions to it,i mean just for the fun of it.

All guesses sha,so correct me on the wrong ones.

The solution is this,you should understand that for people like you, love is not what you need to marry. You only need to marry someone whom you would like enough not to see their faults or someone who is on the exact same frequency and wavelength as you,the latter is harder.

Are you into the science field,or do you just see yourself liking anything that has to do with figuring out how things work?

Mindfulness:


WOW!

Very interesting. Where can I read more about it? You have described me quite precisely even though some terms are open to discussion, e.g. how do you define friendship? I am not looking for a spouse but I am eager to learn something new.

missjo:

It isn't just one source,i mean reading about it. I actually typed that out from a combined residual memory involving many different books I have read over the years and scholarly write-ups I have come across randomly on the internet.

But I'd love to share with you some books that talk on the subject in parts:
Amazing laws of cosmic mind power
Psychic perception - the magic of extrasensory power
The cosmic power within you
Secrets of the I Ching

All of those are authored by Joseph Murphy.

Robert Greene also gives a little insight on human interactions in:
The 48 Laws of Power
The Art of Seduction

The Art of War by Sun Tzu may have added to my memory too I guess,lol. Though it is purely a political book, it sublimely articulates human interactions.
Same with the works of Niccolo Machiavelli.

For specific books on understanding humans based on the frequency they emit and wavelengths, I can't name specific books off the top of my head. I came across the topic by chance on scholarly articles by biological scientists mostly on the internet and on very educative programs on TV.
But reading a combination of those books up there and many more all point to the same fact.

Lahaye's books on temperaments also might be enlightening.

missjo:

You have an ex who you say is PERFECT,still you could not love him.

My diagnosis is that you operate on a peculiar wavelength that isn't common, trust me I know what I'm saying. Every human has a wavelength they operate on. If you were to put on an eye apparatus that is capable of detecting frequencies and sending the visual to your eye,you will understand what I'm saying.

A lot of people operate on similar wavelengths that may have different frequencies,but the catch is that these frequencies can superimpose on each other and blend. Your case is that you have a totally different frequency as well as wavelength from most normal people. Yes you are not normal!

Don't get mad yet,that you're not normal is not bad,it just means you're part of the less than 5% of people in the entire planet who fall under this category. I've met one other guy like that on this forum,cant mention his moniker so he doesn't bite my head off but I follow him. These group of people actually find it hard picking someone to get married to because there is always a fault to be noticed no matter how PERFECT the person is.

I'm going to guess that you're an ambivert,i.e a combination of introvert and extrovert. Another guess is that u like to read anything and everything, and you find that most people do not really understand you even part of your own family. Another guess is that your close friends are very few,as in VERY few and you haven't made new friends in a while. Most of your friends are old friends.
I also guess that you're someone who can have sex with someone and not add emotions to it,i mean just for the fun of it.

All guesses sha,so correct me on the wrong ones.

The solution is this,you should understand that for people like you, love is not what you need to marry. You only need to marry someone whom you would like enough not to see their faults or someone who is on the exact same frequency and wavelength as you,the latter is harder.

Are you into the science field,or do you just see yourself liking anything that has to do with figuring out how things work?

EZEIGBO1OFIMO:

You have a terrible knowledge on theory of wave..... when frequencies superimpose on the same wavelength, there is destructive interference leading to more subharmonics of the obtainable Fourier series, and I don't see how that is a good thing... secondly, I don't see how humans will operate on different wavelength, because if they did, and the sinusoid is a pure one , an infinite series of emotions will then not exist.