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Mistakes Parents Make During Child Upbringing - Family - Nairaland

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Mistakes Parents Make During Child Upbringing by Wicfasho(m): 4:54am On Sep 29, 2016
Child Upbringing is something parents have to face. As the saying goes, “Charity begins at home”, yes! I agree with that. Most parents believe guiding a child in the right path has to be that “right” path their parents followed. My dad will always tell me that every parent have different methods of bringing up their own child, any time he scolds me because I did something wrong. I never totally believed what he said until I found out myself when I saw the way parents relates with their children in real time. “We can’t eat on the same table”, “You have to Kneel (or even Prostrate) while talking to me”, “I will disown you if you do that”, “If you greet me, I will slap you”, those are the word some parents boast of just to draw a margin between them and their children to keep their respect and worth, making sure the child doesn’t do what they are against. While parents are trying to do the right thing by disciplining, caring, advising and monitoring their children, they sometimes make mistakes they themselves don’t notice. I’m not saying children don’t get it wrong but taking the right steps and actions at the right time matters a lot. I will be listing out some of these Mistakes with Prior Ranking.

1. Poor Time Allocation For their Children
Parents having time for children has been one of the greatest weakness parents have today. Many adults (so called parents) think taking care of their children, sending them to school, feeding them, buying up to 70% of what they ask for is enough to satisfy a CHILD, yes! A CHILD. Even Parents also need people to talk to, people to lean on, and people to share their problems with. Children also need that too. When you as a parent is not concerned about “what’s on the mind of a child” from the very beginning, he or she will lose confidence in you and will choose the wrong person. Taking your children as a friend is the best to do as a good parent.

2. Display of Bad Behaviors in Children’s Presence
Children are usually inquisitive. No matter how you try to hide it, they will surely try to find out or have a little idea of it by asking maybe their “knows-all” friend or even the brave ones, walking up to you as a parent to ask what that was. Fighting, Smoking, Using Abusive Words (Either on Children, Partner or even neighbors), Watching Explicit Contents (TV or Magazines) and other bad moral behaviors should not be caught on us by children. It sends a wrong signal to them and make the “little-old-enough” ones sometimes depressed. A father who beats his wife, even in the presence of a child is indirectly destroying the life of that child. Parents should breed good citizens not in that bad way.

3. Threats of parents on Children
I have seen and heard where parents will threaten children. Few of the threats are “I will arrest you”, “You won’t sleep in this house tonight”, “I will disown you”, “Study Accountancy in the University or I won’t sponsor you” and lots more. And when you ask the child, “what did you?” They come up with answers like “I didn’t wash the plates he asked me to wash”, “I will love to study Economics, but he is saying no. He wants Accounting”. Threats like that aren’t important when it comes to correcting to a children wrong action or behavior. I guess the best for settling things like this is DIALOGUE! LOL! Dialogue? Yes! But parent won’t entertain this. “How will I be dragging matters with my own child?” that will be the parent reply. But No, He or She is your child. Understand what they want, and do it in the best and proper way.

4. Comparison of a Child with another child
I can say this again, that No child is better than the other. It’s just how parents look at it. Mr. Dare’s Son got the First Position in the class but because your son got the Tenth Position or even lower, you then compare him with Mr. Dare’s Son who is doing well. That’s a Very wrong attitude and habit parents must stop. Scolding him, telling him to emulate Mr. Dare’s Son or even Disciplining him is not bad but comparison makes it totally bad. Parents should try to understand why their child or ward is not doing as expecting and work towards strengthening their weaknesses.

5. Reporting Child to Family members
Lastly, it’s not bad when parents lets their family members i.e. extended family know little about what is going on in their own family i.e. their nuclear family. Reporting your child to your brother, sister or any member of your extended family, as a parent does not only show your incapability in training your child but also send a wrong signal to your partner. As a mother or a father, he or she may not like it when you say inner-family related things to your outer family. This can also cause trouble in the family. Reporting a child isn’t totally bad, as it’s the last on the list but don’t be too close to do it as a parent.

Thanks for Reading!
Adu Wesley Young
Twitter: @wicfasho
Re: Mistakes Parents Make During Child Upbringing by dfrost: 5:32am On Sep 29, 2016
Nice points OP. There are some reasons albeit whatever reasons parents have should never be an excuse for not taking care of their wards.

Phones, I repeat phones are gradually taking our loved ones away from us.
Re: Mistakes Parents Make During Child Upbringing by ChemicalReaction(f): 6:07am On Sep 29, 2016
Is it OK if I say 97% of Nigerian parents are guilty of all these?
Re: Mistakes Parents Make During Child Upbringing by Cutehector(m): 6:47am On Sep 29, 2016
Comparing ur children to other children..

Dis is totally bad and unnaceptable! You are now telling God he made a mistake by giving you those children and he may take them away from you

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