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I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Deejavuu(f): 12:00am On Oct 04, 2016
Richy4:
Is another girl knocking at the side door OP?

Why is this an issue to you instead of the employers..?

Do you now realize that she was older than you or what?

is she committing adultery?

is she not a good mother to your kids?

Does her n@kedness look different or aged overnight since you Now discovered the age discrepancy ?

What precisely is the problem here? This is something that could be overlooked when there is love....

People are different anyways.. but i can only have trust issue with a lady when I have an evidence that she is "running around" not something as petty as age difference.....If She like let her be 100 and claim 15 for all I care as long as she is a wonderful mother to my children and attend to my needs..

grin grin cheesy the bolded is funny but makes lots of sense.

1 Like

Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Mayflowa(m): 12:02am On Oct 04, 2016
NOC1:
Pls don't divorce forgive her.
but why do ladies lie a lot, my uncle divorced because the wife lied to him that he studied law, while she studied english.

There lies na mumu lie

LoL.

What is the different between English degree and Law degree? Is one better than the other? Something is wrong with her. Something is wrong more with your uncle

1 Like

Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by uckennety(m): 12:04am On Oct 04, 2016
nickxtra:
My marriage to my wife is facing a serious challenge, after I discovered from my wife's WAEC certificate, that the date of her birth on the result is 6 years more than what she told me and what has been in all her non academic documents, including her C.V. Actually, i have seen all her academic certificates, including her NYSC discharge certificate, but never saw her S.S.C.E and FSLC results that normally bear dates of birth. Each time i ask her for them in order to compile all the credentials for job application purposes, she would tell me that her WAEC, NECO and primary school results are in a box, with her mum in thier home town; that she would ask her mum to bring them. I gnomo her mum lager came with them for her.

Eventually, a serious sure job came for which i would need these credentials to forward to the organization. She gave me the WAEC result with the excuse that age forgot the NECO and FSLC in her current office, which she promised to bring. Lol and behold! What i saw on the WAEC result is a date of birth 6 years higher than what she told me and what is in her C.Vs.

I called her attention and she started giving me excuses that hold no water. She is saying that the same DOB were erroneously registerd for her when, perhaps they were registering her for both WAEC and NECO. That when the results came out and she noticed the errors, she complained and applied to correct same, but since then, the exam authorities have not corrected them. I have not come to terms with the this discovery. I think this may cause us peace, thrust and love in pur marriage.

My brothers and sisters, i think am contemplating of what action to take against her and am contemplating a divorce, but our two children are still very small for this. I want to report this issue to her family and mine. Am gradually withdrawing my trust for her.

I need matured advice and suggestions that will see me through this.

It's possible my waec says am 30yrs dts 1987 while am 26yrs old I v my birth certificate to prove dt
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by pussyscrubber: 12:06am On Oct 04, 2016
Young man you are free to divorce her, she is a wicked woman!!!. Even when you caught her red handed, she still continued with her lies, no sign of remorse. Age plays a huge role in decision making, especially in marriage, imagine six years deduction!!! Many people are bashing you because lying has become an integral part of our culture, now, lie means nothing, but a way of survival for an average Nigerian. I can see your love and respect for her have dwindled,because you can never trust her, and you believe she maybe hiding other things from you. On your own part you were careless, you should have done proper investigation on her background before marriage. A lying mother can never raise truthful children, you can't give what you don't have.

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Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Kirinwa: 12:06am On Oct 04, 2016
dollyjoy:
You want to divorce a legally married woman who has risked her life to make you a man because of age issues? Nigga you are bluffing!!

Your stance would have been understandable if the affair is just a b.fr and g.fr thing.

Well seems just everyone is hard on the op.
Why I agree this alone does not call for divorce but from what I read above it seems op has been having issues with the wife which has not been resolved yet.
That's why I discourage walking away from the problem and not talking about it.

The wife did bad by lying and op might be wondering if she lied about this what else could she be lying about.
Well op forgive her and try and forge ahead. She's the mother of your 2 children and has been with you all these while. Nobody is perfect. If you let this go and gain her trust, then and only then will she feel secured having you as a confidant.
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Nobody: 12:06am On Oct 04, 2016
freecocoa:

Btw, was her age reason for the break up? Your ex, that is.

No o, I didn't mind at that point. Cuz I was already in luv with her. But I just had to be sure I was going into a relationship with my 2 eyes open. And that I wasn't deceived into this.
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Mayflowa(m): 12:07am On Oct 04, 2016
ItsQuinn:
Lots of childish Nigerian men everywhere undecided

Go joor. I dey watch you since. You are too bias. You said you will save your child before your husband the other time showing how much you care for your better half but you wouldn't let a man grief over any deception from his spouse. This is double standard! Lol. In fact I want to see you physically

1 Like

Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by docadams: 12:08am On Oct 04, 2016
Hmmmmmmm

This case typifies the fragile foundation on which most marriages are based . Nowadays, courtship has become limited to the intending couples. If permitted, most people will happily discard introduction and traditional wedding as they are are considered unnecessary inconveniences. In time past, marriage was regarded as a union between two families.. While the man and the woman are courting, both families embark on fact check, most times unknown to the two parties involved
Cultural disruption has erased that time-tested checks and balance. Sadly, the only source parents have for obtaining facts about their in-laws to be is through an emotionally compromised ward
.
@OP, I just can't understand how you could date a woman 6years older than what she claimed without knowing she was lying about it. Courtship is a time for exploration of the life of your future partner from childhood to the present. What did you do while dating her?
Well, let us not draw a hasty conclusion yet. You must verify the authenticity of her story from her family. If she is right all well and good. If otherwise, things will no longer be at ease. Nevertheless, you should summon a crunch meeting of both families. Many may disagree with this suggestion but bear in mind that some future events may require you tell the age of your wife. If her true age is actually 6years above what she is claiming, how do you think h
er patents will react to such massive reduction in her age. Your parents will, of course query your sanity. Such meeting will resolve this knotty issue and, also, ferret any other secret that might lay hidden. Blames will be laid, apologies will be tendered, and counselling will be offered. But bear in mind that the final decision is yours to make.
The alternative is to resolve issues with your wife, privately, renew your vows, bury the issue forever, and move on.

This is not the time to consider divorce until all the fact is laid bare. But them it won't be the best solution.

N.B: those saying 6years age difference does not matter are ignorant of the aging process. If the gap turns out to be true, it means when the man is 45years, the woman will be 51years. The contrast physically and physiologically will be enormous. So, OP, the task before you is to always see your wife as the young beau you've always known.
There is a saying of my people that in old age a man keeps his wife because he loves her, or loves the children, or both; any other thing is regarded an unnecessary distraction.

2 Likes

Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by naijafeminist: 12:08am On Oct 04, 2016
Fadamant:


Thanks very much@chuskbogus2001. The op, has an issue and is seeking for advice. Instead of providing advice the alphas and omegas in relationship matters on nairaland are calling the op names for discovering and feeling bad about the lie his wife told him.

Lies on any grounds in marriage are bound to erode trust between couples and eventually destroy any marriage's foundation.

@Op, please forgive your wife. Calm yourself down and have a tete-a-tete with your wife, stating how you feel about it. You cannot throw away a marriage that has been going on fine before the issue of age came up because of age. Moreso, marriage is more than age. So forgive her and shelve the idea of divorce.

I think you're missing the point. People are not insulting the op for feeling bad but for rather considering divorce for a matter so....... Idk, I don't want to call it trivia because it broke the trust in the marriage but still.... What came to my mind first was people would divorce for anything these days. I mean it's not like he just discovered that she had a child before she married him. I know it hurts but please he should calm down small. Marriage comes with its ups and downs, this is one of the downs. This is not a case of the wife assaulting him physically or cheating. This issue can be resolved. He should sleep on it and probably have a sit down chat with his wife. Remember, love covers a multitude of sins.
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Nobody: 12:09am On Oct 04, 2016
pussyscrubber:
[b]Young man

Pvssy scrubber ...Lmao. Pls change your moniker. Abeg.
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by baby124: 12:10am On Oct 04, 2016
Ask her to confess all the lies she has told you. Just to make sure, do DNA test on those kids. If they are yours, just forgive her and move on if she is a good person. Out of desperation sometimes people behave irrationally. For you to not have noticed this is suspicious though. She doesn't have passport or some other document that would have required her birth certificate?

1 Like

Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by naijafeminist: 12:11am On Oct 04, 2016
Ranchhoddas:
Not just in marriage, every aspect of life. It's a pity that the not-yet-fully-evolved beings that I happen to have the cosmic misfortune of sharing nationality/race with cannot grasp something so basic. The donkeys are going as far as blaming the man for even daring to get upset. I regret my nationality.

They're blaming the man for considering divorce not for getting upset. Learn to read between the lines.

1 Like

Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by justmenoni: 12:13am On Oct 04, 2016
Does her n@kedness look different or aged overnight since you Now discovered the age discrepancy ?


I think this is exactly the problem with Op





quote author=Richy4 post=49831864]Is another girl knocking at the side door OP?

Why is this an issue to you instead of the employers..?

Do you now realize that she was older than you or what?

is she committing adultery?

is she not a good mother to your kids?

Does her n@kedness look different or aged overnight since you Now discovered the age discrepancy ?

What precisely is the problem here? This is something that could be overlooked when there is love....

People are different anyways.. but i can only have trust issue with a lady when I have an evidence that she is "running around" not something as petty as age difference.....If She like let her be 100 and claim 15 for all I care as long as she is a wonderful mother to my children and attend to my needs..[/quote]
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Jagabanj(f): 12:13am On Oct 04, 2016
nickxtra:
My marriage to my wife is facing a serious challenge, after I discovered from my wife's WAEC certificate, that the date of her birth on the result is 6 years more than what she told me and what has been in all her non academic documents, including her C.V. Actually, i have seen all her academic certificates, including her NYSC discharge certificate, but never saw her S.S.C.E and FSLC results that normally bear dates of birth. Each time i ask her for them in order to compile all the credentials for job application purposes, she would tell me that her WAEC, NECO and primary school results are in a box, with her mum in thier home town; that she would ask her mum to bring them. I gnomo her mum lager came with them for her.

Eventually, a serious sure job came for which i would need these credentials to forward to the organization. She gave me the WAEC result with the excuse that age forgot the NECO and FSLC in her current office, which she promised to bring. Lol and behold! What i saw on the WAEC result is a date of birth 6 years higher than what she told me and what is in her C.Vs.

I called her attention and she started giving me excuses that hold no water. She is saying that the same DOB were erroneously registerd for her when, perhaps they were registering her for both WAEC and NECO. That when the results came out and she noticed the errors, she complained and applied to correct same, but since then, the exam authorities have not corrected them. I have not come to terms with the this discovery. I think this may cause us peace, thrust and love in pur marriage.

My brothers and sisters, i think am contemplating of what action to take against her and am contemplating a divorce, but our two children are still very small for this. I want to report this issue to her family and mine. Am gradually withdrawing my trust for her.

I need matured advice and suggestions that will see me through this.
How can you divorce your wife cause of ordinary WAEC result... Hmm guess u are just looking for excuse to carry out what has been in your mind since

1 Like

Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Nobody: 12:14am On Oct 04, 2016
grin smiley
Mayflowa:


Go joor. I dey watch you since. You are too bias. You said you will save your child before your husband the other time showing how much you care for your better half but you wouldn't let a man grief over any deception from his spouse. This is double standard! Lol. In fact I want to see you physically
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Habbatically: 12:14am On Oct 04, 2016
dollyjoy:
You want to divorce a legally married woman who has risked her life to make you a man because of age issues? Nigga you are bluffing!!

Your stance would have been understandable if the affair is just a b.fr and g.fr thing.
So many girls are just too dumb. Can you see this one?

3 Likes

Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Nobody: 12:15am On Oct 04, 2016
muller101:
u can never say something sensible. Are u supporting what the lady did or what?
I don't support the lady but the man is just being very unreasonable and childish smiley
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by queencalipso(f): 12:15am On Oct 04, 2016
awelekiti:
It's appalling many people didn't blame the lady for lying, shame! In as much a I'm not in support of what the lady did, I'd just advise you escalate the matter to her family, instead of divorcing her. If she apologises, forgive her for the sake of your little kids. The age difference has nothing to do with your marriage but the greatest mistake she made was hiding it from you fro inception. There's a local adage which says you don't hide your body from the one who will eventually bury you. She ought to have known that someday, you'd get to know about her age. If she had declared her real age to you, that shouldn't mean you'd not marry her if truly you loved her before you guy got married. After all, age is nothing but a number. My mum is 5 years older than my dad and they're happily married. I think this is the trend amongst single women of nowadays. They are always afraid that men would abandon them once they declare their real age. Dare Art Alade is much younger than his wife but they're happily married. There are also many couples with similar instances today. So, forgive her [b]but report her to her family [/b]who can handle the matter better, instead of filing for a divorce.


Why report her to the family over something he can easily handle? Must every simple issue get to the family? This is between them, he should handle it like a man.
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Belmot(m): 12:16am On Oct 04, 2016
Pidggin:
Divorce?! lipsrsealed People shouldn't get married until they understand what they are getting into. This is a trivial issue, OP tell her how you feel about it and you should forgive her.

Lying is trivial? My goodness.
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Ranchhoddas: 12:16am On Oct 04, 2016
naijafeminist:


They're blaming the man for considering divorce not for getting upset. Learn to read between the lines.
Breach of trust is not enough to contemplate divorce? Do you realise that this action will cause hin to second-guess her every action for the rest of their marriage. Who wants to be in that kind of marriage? You?

2 Likes

Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Nobody: 12:17am On Oct 04, 2016
Iykon1313:



Mature girl, let your husband lie to u that he never married b4 and doesn't have kids and u find out 8 years later that you are the third or forth wife. Let me see how mature you will handle it.
lying about marriage is a totally different thing undecided....this is age matter which is very irrelevant and not to be taken personally smiley
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by lawdbreezy: 12:18am On Oct 04, 2016
emeraldknytt:
From my point of view, I foresee no deal breaker in your stale epistle. So far her lie hasn't affected you negatively or potentially, there is no reason to quit your marriage. Truth is, if you cant handle well something as trivial as this, I wonder what you would do if she told you those kids ain't yours.... grin .... Be patient and tolerable
thank you joor! I feel he just lookin for any little excuse to dumb his wife n get anoda babe! Ordinary waec age! U no how many lies u ur self have told... Aw are we sure its not waec dat is lying sef. See in dis change era, every body n any body can lie oh!
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by macminista(m): 12:18am On Oct 04, 2016
[quote author=chuksbogus2001 post=49832287]All those that comment didn't address the issue at hand .you guys are absolving the wife of any wrong doing making it look like the guy I not suppose to feel bad after finding out this.what is there are other things this guy is yet to find out.I expect people to first condemn the wife for lying to the husband .in fact she deceived the guy into the marriage.if the guy is aware of the age then he can make an inform decision .

Now ,op I know u are feeling bad about this but you have to put urself together.has she not been a food wife to u? remember her good attributes and forgive her. I guess she did it cos she doesn't want to loose u.[/quote..Dont mind all this indomie generation dat knows nathin
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by freecocoa(f): 12:18am On Oct 04, 2016
truthsayer007:


No o, I didn't mind at that point. Cuz I was already in luv with her. But I just had to be sure I was going into a relationship with my 2 eyes open. And that I wasn't deceived into this.
Okay, cool. wink
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by sben2308(m): 12:18am On Oct 04, 2016
nickxtra:
My marriage to my wife is facing a serious challenge, after I discovered from my wife's WAEC certificate, that the date of her birth on the result is 6 years more than what she told me and what has been in all her non academic documents, including her C.V. Actually, i have seen all her academic certificates, including her NYSC discharge certificate, but never saw her S.S.C.E and FSLC results that normally bear dates of birth. Each time i ask her for them in order to compile all the credentials for job application purposes, she would tell me that her WAEC, NECO and primary school results are in a box, with her mum in thier home town; that she would ask her mum to bring them. I gnomo her mum lager came with them for her.

Eventually, a serious sure job came for which i would need these credentials to forward to the organization. She gave me the WAEC result with the excuse that age forgot the NECO and FSLC in her current office, which she promised to bring. Lol and behold! What i saw on the WAEC result is a date of birth 6 years higher than what she told me and what is in her C.Vs.

I called her attention and she started giving me excuses that hold no water. She is saying that the same DOB were erroneously registerd for her when, perhaps they were registering her for both WAEC and NECO. That when the results came out and she noticed the errors, she complained and applied to correct same, but since then, the exam authorities have not corrected them. I have not come to terms with the this discovery. I think this may cause us peace, thrust and love in pur marriage.

My brothers and sisters, i think am contemplating of what action to take against her and am contemplating a divorce, but our two children are still very small for this. I want to report this issue to her family and mine. Am gradually withdrawing my trust for her.

I need matured advice and suggestions that will see me through this.








Dear wonderful OP u contemplating a divorce because of age difference. My dad do say dt part of wat defines a man is how d handles his family in time of storm.
maturity is about age but mind and I can gladly say dis dt u r not mature enof to steer ur family in this little storm and I wonder wat u will do if ur wife was accuse of adultery wen it's obviously a lie .
Open ur eye dear frnd n do right by ur family
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Nobody: 12:19am On Oct 04, 2016
That one is their own cup of tea smiley
luminouz:

Quinn..Quinn...Quinn.. How many times I call u so? No blame d guy too much ooo.... It was on d same nairaland that a bride cancelled her wedding because d hubby lied say him dey work for chevron.....on her wedding day!.... DAT one nko?
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by NEROSKY(m): 12:20am On Oct 04, 2016
muller101:
Comments from nairaland ladies on this thread shows that 99.9% of ladies on this forum are highly 5tupid.

Gbam!!
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by chijike(m): 12:22am On Oct 04, 2016
One thing is certain,this marriage can never remain the same. @OP It is up to you to decide whether to continue or not. It all depends on your level of tolerance. To continue first find out the truth,then make sure she is remorseful. But just so you know everything changes from here. Please be wise.
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Nobody: 12:22am On Oct 04, 2016
Mayflowa:


LoL.

What is the different between English degree and Law degree? Is one better than the other? Something is wrong with her. Something is wrong more with your uncle

hahhahah..
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Youngzedd(m): 12:23am On Oct 04, 2016
werthy:
Op, you have been enjoying a woman who is older than you for about five years and yet you arw conplaining about age wahala,


Its not even about the most important thing which is her respect for you


Bro.... you are still a boy...

Tired of seeing babies with grown fallangies inbetween their legs getting married because the feel they have aged enough
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by Bushdiri(m): 12:25am On Oct 04, 2016
Are you blaming the the man?
Re: I Discovered My Wife Lied About Her Age After 3 Years Of Our Marriage. Help! by luminouz(m): 12:26am On Oct 04, 2016
ItsQuinn:
That one is their own cup of tea smiley
Oh really? Cos DAT was way more epic than this o!

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