mira4u:


the most stu..pid post ever. You just narrated the lifestyle of your family, unfortunately, you think all men are like men in your family including you, who has no regard for women, hence, made your women lose their dignity. Sorry to burst your burble okemkpi

mrk74:

Thanks

BuddhaPalm:


Imagine if every time someone arrives late to work, the boss ONLY says some words (with no implied consequence behind them), and asks for an apology

...order will break down...

Productivity will suffer as people will get to work, everyday, by 3:59 PM - or not all.

If your wife's boss tells her, once, never to smoke in the office again, he will only need to say it that one time, and she would never repeat it.

Why?

Because there will be a swift and unforgiving consequence...

Consequences keep civilization in orbit.

Remove it and people will behead their neighbours, torch others properties and loot markets...


Although both relationships are different, the dynamic behind why your wife will comply with her boss' request command and not yours is the same...

Motivation 101: People take action that moves them towards pleasure or away from pain.

If all you'd do is whine, with there being no repercussion, then there is no motivation for her to stop.

If she adds the offending ingredient in the food, don't whine, don't complain. Simply don't eat it...because it genuinely upsets your stomach.

The same way you wouldn't drink a glass of laxative, if she serves you that in place of coffee.


You might ask, "so how is not eating the food a potent consequence?"

Oh it is! But not by itself...

You see, it is your sacred duty, as a man, to "escalate her escalation". If she gives your peace of mind, feminine sunshine and compliance, you take these up a notch and reward her accordingly.

On the other hand, if she gives you unpleasantness and discomfort...

You don't play chicken.

You escalate this too and reward her accordingly. "To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace", said George Washington.

See, whenever she puts that stuff in your food, she's essentially not giving you food. And if she's not feeding you, she isn't being wifely. And if she isn't being wifely, you stop being husbandly.

You can appeal to people's sense of duty, responsibility and fairness, until the cows come home, and they will still take you for granted and do as it pleases them.

But add one ounce of repercussion to the equation and their behaviour lines up nicely.

"Speak softly, but carry a big stick" ------ Teddy Roosevelt

ndcide:
Everyday we read about different marriage wahala on nairaland. Yet people are still getting married.

At this rate, people may soon stop getting married.

Just imagine, you have an OK life suddenly, you bring in someone to be creating issues for you to endure.

Some responses here, are not even helping matters.

I'm beginning to see that 21st century marriages are putting men in a disadvantaged position. I position to tolerate and not expect anything for themselves.

Look at some people saying, this man has to command the respect and not demand it. Haba!! in his own home? A home he built from scratch? brought in a woman and he's feeding and taking care of her?

I can't believe what this world is turning into.

Kimoni:


Not in his own home, but their home. They built it together from the scratch and contribute jointly to the running of the home. Infact, a pre-requisite for marrying her is what she can bring to the table (this is a typical modern marriage).

So 21st century marriages are not putting men in a disadvantaged position. Instead, unlike our forefathers, they sold their birth right.

Jaygrl:
From the 1st day I went to the house of my parents in law noticed my MIL hates cooking with Maggi and the few times I cooked there I adjusted myself o.

Fast forward to when I got married to Hubby,you can put maggi in any other food but when you cook beans for him he likes it with just salt and no crayfish(I had to learn fast o,I kukuma don't like beans so),I cook it as he likes and gives it to him.

So poster,I am not in support of you demanding your wife apologize to you...In marriage,you just have to learn to let somethings go. But for that stuff she is adding in your food,I am not with her on that. There should be a difference between home food and food bought outside. My hubby dares not eat outside sef,he will eat my own food and join the food he ate out and probably puke afterwards e no concern me.