At last am back to consciousness, my phone and bestfriend, I try to locate.
Eyes still shut tight, I search all over, pocketing my hands into the sides of my bed, forcing it all in, like my room mate, Mr RAT does under my door.

A quick thought of how painful it was making that payment to the ugly and saucy cashier of that phone shop I bought my phone blasted me out of bed like I have been slapped by the devil herself, yeah herself, I have finally come to believe that the devil might be a SHE, however that’s for another story.

Breathing hard like an Ohafia warrior charging to a fight, a fight of pride which death is better than defeat, like the signal light of a Lighthouse, I did a critical 360 degrees view of my somewhat under-furnished room, trying to convince myself that I was just over reacting, a believe I so prayed to be true.
Where the hell are you baby?, I asked myself, like a lunatic with multiple personality, I also answered, “am alright baby, you just need to search for me a little more to appreciate me better”.
One hour have passed, yet, a giant me still can’t locate my bestfriend in a room that could take a snail just ten minutes to navigate all over.

My head now so hot it could boil an egg and save my kerosene later during breakfast.
Is this a dream?, I asked myself again, while gradually pinching myself hoping to wake up from this nightmare, a nightmare worse than meeting a 150years old obasanjo looking-like creature in the bathroom hallway in the middle of the night, yes this case was looking even worse than that.

Yay!!! Smiles took over my now burial-masquerade-looking face as I hear the soul calming “payphone by Maroon 5 ft WizKhalifa” ringtone screaming from inside my #Pull-n-Bear high top sneakers, like a cat in labour, I rush violently to my shoe, while laughing and saying things I didn’t even know the meaning or in what language I was saying them. All I knew was that my long lost bestfriend was back, a type of joy the biblical shepherd gets when a lost
sheep is recovered.
*If I throw this phone off the window of my first floor room, I know my conscience will surely path me on the back and my second personality will definitely say well done boy*.
……different thoughts took over my little mind, cases like this justify my reasons for calling this phone “just another friend”.
Yes, it was just my Tecno phone snoring out loud to the “payphone” ringtone from my favourite shoe.
How stupid I was to forget it shares the same ringtone with my bestfriend.

In just a flash, my face jumped back to looking like a 200years old Obasanjo.
My throat became so dry I feared it would tear apart, my hands started
shaking like I have had parkinson disease for over 10 years, a thunderous noise kept on working my tommy while my whole body was sweating like an armed robber just apprehended by a mob with a trailer tyre hanging by his neck, as it downed on me that I might have left my bestfriend at that bush-bar last night, while at the same time acknowledging the fact that I had no record of how I got home to my lonely bed.
Tears flood my eyes as I try to hold it back from escaping and ruining my already ugly looking face, yes that’s how much I love my bestfriend. The rumbling in my tommy gets so big I knew I couldn’t hold it back anymore, I grabbed the toilet paper roll on my rack and dashed into the toilet.
I froze as I busted open the toilet door both in self anger and desperation,
There, my bestfriend was, sitting calmly on the toilet sink, while it kept on singing to “payphone” in a very low volume, slowly I picked it up, the screen displayed 77 missed calls just before another call from my “just another friend” Tecno phone entered, yes I have left it on auto-redial.
Triumphantly, I re-entered my room, sat down with my “bestfriend” and then opened my Nairaland account………..

lol. awesome

Nightie:
lol. awesome

Thank you

Dude you're creative!! really loved this piece! Loved the picture representations too

where are the mods cuddlemii lalasticlala and co..