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Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently - Family - Nairaland

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Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 11:15am On Oct 18, 2016
How many of you would not mind your mother Inlaw who just retired and is not sick or needing medical attention come and live with you and hubby permanently?!
My friend's mother Inlaw is planning to do this. My friend is not comfortable with it at all but has resigned her mind to it.

The mother Inlaw often visits them and spends weeks and months with them even though she does not get along with the wife. The wife told me the mama never wanted her first son to marry and would have preferred he continues to bear children outside wedlock. He had a child before marriage. They have children of theirs now.

Sincerely, I can't undastand the rationale behind a mother moving into her son's house without invitation or permission. Is it fair?

Note -she has a married daughter o. Is it not better for her to live with her daughter if her and her daughter in-law dont get along? This lady now has strong cause to believe the mama is out to break her home. Would she now be receptive to her coming to live with them permanently?

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Tocheagle(m): 11:29am On Oct 18, 2016
If she is patience ozokwo , its a good thing

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 11:40am On Oct 18, 2016
Not my business
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by sisisioge: 11:51am On Oct 18, 2016
Chai! Fear is already catching me on behalf of your friend already. I think she should tell the guy her concern, if he insists then na gobe be that o.

I think she needs to prepare a sort of armour in anticipation...

Ordinarily, the mother in-law wouldn't think of moving in knowing there is no love lost between her and the DIL if she hasn't been getting her ways with her in the past. The DIL should just be ready to change their relationship asap. No need to fight, no need to talk too much, no need to be rude...na body language! She shouldn't cower for her abeg. Just treat her like another long staying house guest. Maintain your stand and dignity...she no be god biko.

By the way, babes might need to invest in a CCTV o. Just in case things escalate beyond "wetin happen"...a picture speaks more than a thousand words!

Jeez! I don't know why MIL are like this, imagine this poor woman going bunkers just cos mma is coming...can't MILs be civil?

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 11:52am On Oct 18, 2016
Loisemm:
How many of you would not mind your mother Inlaw who just retired and is not sick or needing medical attention come and live with you and hubby permanently?!
My friend's mother Inlaw is planning to do this. My friend is not comfortable with it at all but has resigned her mind to it.

The mother Inlaw often visits them and spends weeks and months with them even though she does not get along with the wife. The wife told me the mama never wanted her first son to marry and would have preferred him having more children outside wedlock instead of marrying. Her hubby already had a child before marriage. They have children of theirs now.

Sincerely, I can't undastand the rationale behind a mother moving into her son's house without invitation or permission. Is it fair?

Note -she has a married daughter o. Is it not better for her to live with her daughter if her and her daughter in-law dont get along? This lady now has strong cause to believe the mama is out to break her home. Would she now be receptive to her coming to live with them permanently?

What if he daughter's husband doesn't want her in their house.Its his house after all and we all know how Nigerian men think. The woman is afterall his wife's mother not his.

On the other hand, the woman wants to move into her SON's house, the son she bore and nurtured and made a man out of her loins. Abi your friend doesn't think she deserves to reap the fruit of her labour in her own son's house undecided

A lot of men get married and still live with their wives in their parents home, with their parents still alive. So why can't mama move into her son's house

As far as she's not causing any troubles for the couple, I don't see this as a big problem.

Your friend needs to be a little more receptive towards other people.

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 11:57am On Oct 18, 2016
If the mother in law is easygoing, then no problem.. She can stay but if she's troublesome? Only God and her husband will save that marriage..

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by sisisioge: 12:03pm On Oct 18, 2016
Ujoan:


What if he daughter's husband doesn't want her in their house.Its his house after all and we all know how Nigerian men think. The woman is afterall his wife's mother not his.

On the other hand, the woman wants to move into her SON's house, the son she bore and nurtured and made a man out of her loins. Abi your friend doesn't think she deserves to reap the fruit of her labour in her own son's house undecided

A lot of men get married and still live with their wives in their parents home, with their parents still alive. So why can't mama move into her son's house

As far as she's not causing any troubles for the couple, I don't see this as a big problem.

Your friend needs to be a little more receptive towards other people.

Babes, she said they don't get along. Why bring them together under the same roof? He could service his sonly duties while mama is safely tucked in her quarters biko. Obviously, you haven't seen any dreadful MIL at work before. The story gets dirty.

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by sisisioge: 12:04pm On Oct 18, 2016
Amelian:
If the mother in law is easygoing, then no problem.. She can stay but if she's troublesome? Only God and her husband will save that marriage..

She's troublesome, so implied the OP.

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 12:04pm On Oct 18, 2016
She can stay one week per year at the very most lol

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 12:08pm On Oct 18, 2016
sisisioge:


Babes, she said they don't get along. Why bring them together under the same roof? He could service his sonly duties while mama is safely tucked in her quarters biko. Obviously, you haven't seen any dreadful MIL at work before. The story gets dirty.

So because her DIL doesn't like her she should avoid her own son's house. Trust me, I know about dreadful MILs, I also know there's always a way to handle people, no matter how difficult they are.

Why can't she at least make the effort and if it don't work out, find an alternative abode for the woman.

Why cast her away like yesterday's trash because 'they don't get along'

23 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 12:09pm On Oct 18, 2016
sisisioge:


She's troublesome, so implied the OP.



Wow, then she's in deep shii..t

She should start prayers and fasting ontop the mother in-law... So that God will arrest her and make her a gentle soul grin

Mehn, it's only God and her prayers that can save her..nothingelse.

6 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Dyt(f): 12:42pm On Oct 18, 2016
Some MILs sha
I have had my fair share even without living together

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by sisisioge: 12:44pm On Oct 18, 2016
Ujoan:


So because her DIL doesn't like her she should avoid her own son's house. Trust me, I know about dreadful MILs, I also know there's always a way to handle people, no matter how difficult they are.

Why can't she at least make the effort and if it don't work out, find an alternative abode for the woman.

Why cast her away like yesterday's trash because 'they don't get along'

Joan! No be today mama dey visit! She's been staying for weeks and months before. Anyways, I pity her...my prayers are with her.

14 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by sisisioge: 12:54pm On Oct 18, 2016
Dyt:
Some MILs sha
I have had my fair share even without living together

Babes...as in! They are something else jare. They just wanna be the DIL's contender by force by fire.I remember rescuing my uncle's wife from my Grandma one time. Wetin be her offense? Babe just came from UK, she doesn't fancy meat . Gramma cooked and gave her plenty meats, babe saw and was visibly shaken, she politely told Gramma meats were too much. Gramma insisted she would be offended if the babe doesn't finish it. Babe nearly choked herself downing the whole lot. Babe finished the meat successfully after going beyond herself trying not to piss her mil. Fast forward later in the evening, Grandma reported the babe to her bobo, us and every other fam member that cares to listen that the babe is a glutton! She would be the hole in my uncles purse...jeez! I just scatter ground for her grin

By the way, babe had no idea of the war that went on behind her back.

65 Likes 1 Share

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by cococandy(f): 1:03pm On Oct 18, 2016
If she already visits and stays months at a time, one can't say she's avoiding her son's house can they? That is more than enough.

Moving in Permanently is underhanded and seeing as they don't get along speaks volumes of her intentions.

I'm sure if wifey wanted to live with the woman permanently, she would have gotten married to her instead of her son. People don't know when their presence can become unsavory. It's hard enough to along with the people you chose to live with let alone those who are imposing themselves on you.

Anyway the real person going through the wahala isn't here, so no need to go into long posts.

Ujoan:


So because her DIL doesn't like her she should avoid her own son's house. Trust me, I know about dreadful MILs, I also know there's always a way to handle people, no matter how difficult they are.

Why can't she at least make the effort and if it don't work out, find an alternative abode for the woman.

Why cast her away like yesterday's trash because 'they don't get along'

18 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Dyt(f): 1:17pm On Oct 18, 2016
sisisioge:


Babes...as in! They are something else jare. They just wanna be the DIL's contender by force by fire.I remember rescuing my uncle's wife from my Grandma one time. Wetin be her offense? Babe just came from UK, she doesn't fancy meat . Gramma cooked and gave her plenty meats, babe saw and was visibly shaken, she politely told Gramma meats were too much. Gramma insisted she would be offended if the babe doesn't finish it. Babe nearly choked herself downing the whole lot. Babe finished the meat successfully after going beyond herself trying not to piss her mil. Fast forward later in the evening, Grandma reported the babe to her bobo, us and every other fam member that cares to listen that the babe is a glutton! She would be the hole in my uncles purse...jeez! I just scatter ground for her grin

By the way, babe had no idea of the war that went on behind her back.

As in ehn
Story for another day oooo

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by eyinjuege: 2:09pm On Oct 18, 2016
sisisioge:


Babes...as in! They are something else jare. They just wanna be the DIL's contender by force by fire.I remember rescuing my uncle's wife from my Grandma one time. Wetin be her offense? Babe just came from UK, she doesn't fancy meat . Gramma cooked and gave her plenty meats, babe saw and was visibly shaken, she politely told Gramma meats were too much. Gramma insisted she would be offended if the babe doesn't finish it. Babe nearly choked herself downing the whole lot. Babe finished the meat successfully after going beyond herself trying not to piss her mil. Fast forward later in the evening, Grandma reported the babe to her bobo, us and every other fam member that cares to listen that the babe is a glutton! She would be the hole in my uncles purse...jeez! I just scatter ground for her grin

By the way, babe had no idea of the war that went on behind her back.

Chai, na wah o.

Why your grandma do like that na..

I just tire.
Meanwhile, OP regarding your post. The MIL in question, is she living in a rented apartment or her personal house?
Why does her son want her to come and live permanently with his family?
It just sounds somehow, for her to just decide to relocate permanently just like that.
Anyway, I wish them the best. Who knows, mama might just help with child care.
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by nnamdibig(m): 2:51pm On Oct 18, 2016
Ujoan:


What if he daughter's husband doesn't want her in their house.Its his house after all and we all know how Nigerian men think. The woman is afterall his wife's mother not his.

On the other hand, the woman wants to move into her SON's house, the son she bore and nurtured and made a man out of her loins. Abi your friend doesn't think she deserves to reap the fruit of her labour in her own son's house undecided

A lot of men get married and still live with their wives in their parents home, with their parents still alive. So why can't mama move into her son's house

As far as she's not causing any troubles for the couple, I don't see this as a big problem.

Your friend needs to be a little more receptive towards other people.


Don't mind all these end time daughter in laws abi daughter of jezebels.

15 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Richy4(m): 3:58pm On Oct 18, 2016
OP What happened to her own home....not good for retirement?.....

11 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by sisisioge: 4:10pm On Oct 18, 2016
eyinjuege:


Chai, na wah o.

Why your grandma do like that na..

I just tire.
Meanwhile, OP regarding your post. The MIL in question, is she living in a rented apartment or her personal house?
Why does her son want her to come and live permanently with his family?
It just sounds somehow, for her to just decide to relocate permanently just like that.
Anyway, I wish them the best. Who knows, mama might just help with child care.

No be small thing o! By the way, my Gramma is one of the nicest people in the world...she just turned troublesome for the wives alone ni. No direct confrontation, she go just dey give them small small. God help any of them, they get too excited about anything grin The kind of voice I drop her, them no born any wife well try am. Even the heavens will reject the said wife ke. grin I will be like...Gramma mi!

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by sexymoma(f): 4:46pm On Oct 18, 2016
if she goes out in the morning and comes back in the night... she doesn't and wouldn't have a problem with her..
shebi na person wey she see she go dey act for..

7 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 5:46pm On Oct 18, 2016
Thank God the mother-in law isn't Patience Ozokwor!

But seriously tho it ain't proper..she might wanna start dictating how things should be done in the family and surely problems will occur cos of that!

4 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Zabilon007(m): 5:46pm On Oct 18, 2016
.
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by TroubleMaker47(m): 5:47pm On Oct 18, 2016
Op mind your business and face your own home!

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by MadCow1: 5:47pm On Oct 18, 2016
Who paid her bride price?

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by doskie(m): 5:48pm On Oct 18, 2016
Nice.
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by johnstar(m): 5:48pm On Oct 18, 2016
Issokay
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 5:49pm On Oct 18, 2016
Nobody can move into my house on permanent basis...nobody.

'but this isn't cast on stone_ it's in fact a very flexible rule. If push comes to shove, I can/will compromise.
This may be their chance to make-up, when you get to stay with someone long term, you'll see the good sides of the person you never knew (and the bad too).

So, she should relax. It might end well... grin

7 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by AfroKnight: 5:49pm On Oct 18, 2016
Just look at these ladies. They have forgotten that they will become mothers in law one day. Just look at the nonsense they are saying. Na somebody marry these ones o.

You cannot stop his mother from moving in unless you are evil. She is his mother and they are related by blood and genes. You on the other hand were married.

You can divorce a wife but not a mother. Better respect the bond between a man and his family before marrying him.

The good woman raised him to be a good catch for you but now you want to relegate her.

The man will decide not you. Nonsense.



As expected, a couple of wicked jezebels have quoted me. You have no choice. The mother raised the man and you will not have authority over her unless you want your daughters in law to dictate when you visit your own sons. Make una go siddon. Nonsense.

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 5:49pm On Oct 18, 2016
ee concern me

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