I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please - Family - Nairaland
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My Sister-In-Law Staying With Us Atimes Knows When We Are Making Love.Pls Advise / I Need Advise On What To Do. I'm Tired!!! / How Do I Handle This Issue (please Read)!!! (2) (3) (4)
| I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Sardongarigan(m): 11:29pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
I want to go straight to the point as am typing with anger, the issue is that my niece got pregnant for a guy and the guy responsible told her that he don't care about the pregnancy or her that she should go to hell, the girl went and drank sniper and nearly died but thank God that we noticed on time and rushed her to the hospital now she is stable atleast, but the issue is that the boy don't still care, he told the girls mum that there is nothing he can do that they should abort the baby. I want to know if there is any way we can follow this up legally. The girl in question clocked 18 this August. please I need advice cause I fear for my niece's life now. |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by teepsee(f): 11:38pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
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| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by EfemenaXY: 11:42pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
Unpleasant as this may sound, there is absolutely nothing you can do to him. Yes, the lad in question by his actions is irresponsible but your niece is just as bad herself for trying to take her life. She needs more help and you'd best get her to see a psychiatrist. If she insists on keeping the baby (assuming it's not going to have birth defects due to her sucide attempt), the young man can be chased up to provide maintenance to the baby after DNA proof that he is the father. In the long run they are better off without each other. Toxic duo. 5 Likes |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by teepsee(f): 11:43pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
As quickly as i will want to say there's nothing you guys can do rather than to abort, I'm tempted to ask How old is this guy in question? Is he staying on his own or with someone? Is he working? Just answer these once first, let's know the next move |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by emmanwandud(m): 11:43pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
First and foremost run a check if she's got std and then go to market and buy her baby things bcs definitely she's going to give birth. What was she expecting after sex, as for the boy carry fresh cadet boys wey go drill am till he accepts responsibility, |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by stevekeri(m): 11:48pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
You should arrest the guy, if the girl is very sure DAT d baby inside her belong to d guy. He will take care of d girl and d baby. |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Sardongarigan(m): 11:52pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
teepsee:the guy is 28, he is financially stable, living alone and even has a car 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by talk2alabama: 11:52pm On Oct 31, 2016 |
If I comment now, some elements will want to ban me. So I rather not say |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Nobody: 12:02am On Nov 01, 2016 |
Sardongarigan: If the guy was 28, living in a room with his parents and slbilings and can't even afford to pay for public transportation, will the girl be insisting on keeping the baby? Gold digging daughter of lucifer, to do simply task as drinking sniper and dying, you cannot do. Tell her to jump from third mainland bridge around 2am next time 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Nobody: 12:37am On Nov 01, 2016 |
Sardongarigan:Am sorry bout your niece. I pray she gets better and realizes that every man is for himself in this life. There is no Nigerian law that will enable your start up a case against the dude because the Pregnancy wasn't negotiated cum discussed. That means there was no prior agreement in which they both agreed to have a child outside wedlock. So in a legal sense,the guy is untouchable however you already know that we have a corrupt police institution,you can visit the nearest station,lay your complaint and if the IPO likes your face,the dude will spend some days in the cell. The back door approach meanwhile is the best approach atimes. I wasn't here.. And just so you know,age of consensual procreation is around 15 or 16 and she wasn't raped. so building a case is gona be hard. Ma 2 cents 2 Likes |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by DozieInc(m): 12:43am On Nov 01, 2016 |
Dreamwaker:Guy no chillz at all. |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by okirewaju(f): 5:50am On Nov 01, 2016 |
Let her focus on giving birth hopefully the guy might come around if he does not she should try and get the phone number of the guy's mother/sibling and tell them the story. She keeps the baby and move on, schooling or learning a skill. 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Dygeasy(m): 8:18am On Nov 01, 2016 |
stevekeri:LOL! Arrest kwa? What's his crime? The girl's family should help the girl focus on seeing the pregnancy through. Her happiness would in future not depend on the irresponsible father. Her happiness is in her womb. Just leave the guy be. |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by ibkn(m): 8:30am On Nov 01, 2016 |
quick one when did she get pregnant was it before she clocked 18 or what? if she was less than 18 please report to the police as it is an offence under the Child Rights Act to have sex with a Minor. especially when you are above 18. 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Sardongarigan(m): 9:45am On Nov 01, 2016 |
Dreamwaker:thank you |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by TheArchangel(f): 10:20am On Nov 01, 2016 |
ibkn:Op, listen to this ^^ |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Richy4(m): 2:24pm On Nov 01, 2016 |
ibkn: [b]I guess you are advising someone in Nigeria that it was unlawful to have sex with a minor.... Recently, the custodian of the law in Katsina state Nigeria, who is over 60 years kidnapped and married a 14year old infant and nothing was done till date...Also a certain Senator got married to a 15 year old girl years back...Are they not Nigerians...The law is silent when it come to minor and sex...except maybe if the culprit is poor....If it was Nigeria I used to know, Nothing will happen.... In my own opinion, they should keep the baby, because i dislike anything that bridge or harm the innocent, whose only crime was to see the brightness of the day.... what has happed has happed... the fact that the guy has a car does not mean he is rich and ready for marriage or commitment..... However, when the baby is born, take him to any advocate or court that will make him sign an undertaken to contribute monthly towards the child's welfare ie after they must have done paternity test to make sure it was his.....[/b] 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Onegai(f): 3:01pm On Nov 01, 2016 |
Sardongarigan: Get a lawyer. LASG has passed some new laws concerning issues like this (I think the minimum payment is N45,000). Get a lawyer versed in Family Law, who knows the right magistrates and he will have to drop money. And if she was under 18 years when the affair started, get a lawyer, an NGO AND the police. Fear of that wahala will make him pony up cash. 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Nobody: 3:05pm On Nov 01, 2016 |
I just have a question to ask you: @Sardongarigan : YOUR SISTER CANNOT DO ABORTION..BUT CAN TAKE SNIPERS TO COMMIT SUICIDE.  I guess ur sister has a past wayward lifestyle and due to shame. In this buhari period if u spend money to lock up the guy...which ur suppose to take care of your sister. |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Nobody: 8:27pm On Nov 01, 2016 |
Onegai: Money money money. OK the baby daddy pays 10 million naira. They buy a house in a government housing estate for 7m, a small toks car for 1m and the use the 2m for bills, diapers, medical, feeding and miscellaneous expenses for the next year or two. What happens next? |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Mimzyy(f): 9:13pm On Nov 01, 2016 |
Dreamwaker: Why are you so insensitive and biased? If your sister or daughter was the one in this situation, will you ask her to commit suicide? |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by baby124: 9:16pm On Nov 01, 2016 |
Since she drank sniper during pregnancy, I advice you to take her for abortion. The baby may already be dead in her or severely deformed. |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Nobody: 11:22pm On Nov 01, 2016 |
Mimzyy: Abortion ke? I didn't ask her to commit suicide o, I only said she didn't do a good job in trying to commit suicide. There's a difference. I do not abortion for personal reasons, the child has a right to live a fulfilled life. There are a lot of single mothers doing well all over the world without their baby daddy. This little niece of the poster should carry her cross and move on. Have the baby and go back to school, build a career, get a job or start a business and be independent. She shouldn't put everything on the man. Gone are the days where a lady traps a man with pregnancy. Life has gone past that era. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Nobody: 6:45am On Nov 02, 2016 |
Nothing you can do. It was consensual, and not rape,moreover she's 18years. Funniest thing,they aren't legally married, so no law binding the guy. Best bet,you have to cajole,not force him to do his responsibilities,if it's proven he owns the baby.. |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Bibitayo2: 7:13am On Nov 02, 2016 |
As someone said earlier they are better off without each other.... Do you think forcing the guy to take responsibility under duress is the best for your sister? An irresponsible and wicked man will always continue to be irresponsible and wicked. So forcing him to take any responsibility on your sister is like giving her the sniper all over again but with a slower action, because the man will kill her emotionally and psychologically. Just focus on your niece surviving the suicide attempt and the pregnancy for now.... and even if the guy comes around, HE IS NOT THE BEST FOR YOUR SISTER. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by AlfaAce(m): 8:58am On Nov 02, 2016 |
Let's say the Man manages to take responsibility,what happens next? It's funny how a young girl could not commit abortion but almost commited suicide which would automatically result in the death of the innocent child.Who know if the baby has or hasn't been badly affected by what she took? I don't think i'm going too far if i say she deserves all she's going through right now,i still would say the same thing if my sister was in her shoes. But all the same she's still family. Take the guy out of the picture and focus more on your niece,even after making her realise it was all her fault,show her love then when she finally delivers,She should try to make herself more useful.My take. |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by Onegai(f): 9:47am On Nov 02, 2016 |
Sardongarigan, A grown man of 28 years, with an income and resource to Birth Control, gets an 18 year old girl pregnant and it is not his fault? The Law states that he is liable because condoms are freely available and he chose not to use one for whatever reason (Go to Igbosere and ask for a lawyer). Entrapment occurs if the female in question told him a lie ("I am unable to get pregnant due to whatever medical reason" ). If she didn't and he chose not to use a condom (which costs N50), he is at fault and is now trying to run from responsibility. You cannot tell a female "don't get pregnant" without making sure that on your part you do all that is medically necessary to avoid the pregnancy (birth control) and then claim she is at fault. Even the NPF will support this. Go to his office and inform his boss of his behaviour, including the fact that he insulted her mother who tried to make him own his responsibility. Go to his church and inform his pastor, the choir master and the local gossip of his tale of irresponsibility. Go to where he lives and inform his neighbours that their daughters are in danger and he is a wolf pretending to be a sheep. Embarass him till he learns how to be responsible. Or take the law into your hands and wake up tomorrow and show up at his house before he goes to work, with a couple of well-armed boys at your side and ask him directly for funds to pay for his "previous enjoyment". Take her to the doctor and ascertain the health of the foetus. And let that irresponsible goat pay for her medical bills. He owes the foetus, and not the mother, that. If she is having the baby, he pays for antenatal and childcare costs. If she is having an abortion, he pays for it. If you wish him to escape justice, by all means ignore what I have written (he is not the first man trying such and was shocked that he met strong resistance to his irresponsibility and had to reconsider. People get away with murder because you allow them). Whatever happens now is up to you. For anyone who finds themself in this predicament and are legal residents of Lagos state, please read: http://www.legalnaija.com/2014/06/lagos-law-against-child-abandonment.html?m=1 I believe Abortion is illegal, so if you are taking him to court, let it be on record that he ASKED your client to do an illegal procedure. it was passed since 2011. Go to Igbosere High Court, there are plenty lawyers always hanging around. You need a lawyer who will know the right judge or magistrate to drop your case in front of. And yes, they have ways of enforcing this law (people will never publicly confess that they were in court and lost). A lot of people don't realise that we have laws that work and are enforceable in Nigeria. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by femi4: 10:11am On Nov 02, 2016 |
Sardongarigan:Your niece opened her legs cos the man seems comfortable. You can't force him to accept the baby.....Congratulations cos unto your family, a new baby will be born and a babymama is loading |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by AlfaAce(m): 10:17am On Nov 02, 2016 |
Doing all that will not embarass him,It will only embarass the girl and her family the more.He chose to thrust without using a condom and she consented,was she blind? it's not as if she was forced! You think telling his boss,his pastor will do you any good? Them go just dey laugh on top your matter.That's a lesson for the girl,you don't open your legs for a man when you're not at least 80% certain of a future with him and let's say you want to enjoy yourself,use a condom. Even if you're to take legal actions against the guy (which i don't really think is necessary) it should be after the baby is born and when you've confirmed that the child is his. IMO,nemesis will surely catch up with the guy,He was never mearnt for her. |
| Re: I Need Advise On This Urgent Issue Please by megareal: 11:23am On Nov 02, 2016 |
Its sad to read people abusing the 18 year old girl worse than the 28 year old irresponsible man. Goes to show that in Nigeria, the female is always at fault. Op, first determine that the foetus is sound through tests and scan. The sniper may have damaged the child. If so, opt for abortion. But, no matter what you do, don't leave the man for posterity. Your family has to make him take responsibility one way or another. His actions show a lot of disrespect and until he is taught a lesson in humility, he will continue this with other girls. There are ways, but find yours. Also realise, this is not the time to blame your niece. Her attempt to snuff her live shows she really was had by the guy. He may have sworn undying love and made lots of promises which in her youth and gullibility she took as gospel. Her suicide attempt is a reaction to her feeling of betrayal and abandonment. Watch her and get her living again. Also reread what Onegai said. There are plausible suggestions there. |
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